Yesterday, I sat down with my copy of Mirror Work by Louise Hay. I'm working through it one day at a time. Day 17 talks about the totality of possibilities and asks how you can move beyond your limitations.
As I read, another book came to mind. It was The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander. That's how my mind works. One book leads me to the next, and today, the link was a single word: possibility.
Limits Are Something We Create
I wrote one line in my journal this morning. The limitation you place on yourself prevents you from expressing the totality of possibilities. Then, I started thinking about limitless possibilities for my future. What would change if I stopped putting a ceiling on what I can do?
The Zanders give a straightforward answer. They say it's all invented. Every dead end you face looks unsolvable inside a certain frame, and your mind builds that frame. It decides what you see as possible.
Your senses bring you only part of what's out there. Your brain fills in the rest. And your mind strings events into a story even when the parts don't connect.
Life comes to us in narrative form. The story you tell yourself shapes what you believe you can do. So the limit is not always out there. Often, it lives in the story.
Draw a Bigger Frame
The Zanders teach you to enlarge the box. When you put a new frame around the same facts, the problem can vanish. New opportunities show up in its place.
They suggest a simple pair of questions. First, ask what assumptions you're making that you don't know you're making. Then ask what you could invent that would give you more choices. Keep looking again until you see what you missed.
I've done this exercise a few times. Each time, I was startled by what I found. Ideas I had overlooked for years were right in front of me.
The point is not to deny your circumstances. It's to see that your view of them is one version among many. When you change the frame, you change the options.
Measurement Versus Possibility
The book describes two worlds. The first is the world of measurement, the familiar everyday world. You set a goal and strive toward it. Life is arranged in hierarchies, just like most workplaces.
The trouble with striving is that you never seem to arrive. There's always another rung on the ladder.
The second world is the universe of possibility. Here you set the context and let life unfold. Action in this world is generative. You give, you create new ideas, and you contribute. Abundance comes when you're generous and inclusive.
This doesn't mean you sit back and do nothing. It means you stop trying to control everything. As I grow older, I'm learning not to be a control freak. There are only a few things in my life I can control. Letting go of the rest has opened doors I didn't know were there. Life seems to flow more easily.
Three Practices That Loosen Limits
The book has 12 practices. Three of them speak directly to the question from Mirror Work.
Giving an A. When you give someone an A, you treat them with respect from the start. You give them room to grow into their best self. It works just as well when you give yourself an A.
Being a contribution. Shift your focus away from self-concern. Instead of asking whether you're good enough, ask how you can contribute today. Declare yourself a contribution and throw yourself into life.
Rule Number 6. Don't take yourself so seriously. Laughter helps you get over yourself. When you lighten up, problems that seem impossible look like openings.
One idea stayed with me because it's so simple. Put your attention on problems, and they grow. Put your attention on solutions instead.
Mirror Work Meets Possibility
Mirror Work asks you to look yourself in the eye and speak kindly to yourself . The Art of Possibility asks you to question the story behind your limits. Together, they make a strong pair.
The mirror shows you the person who holds the limits. The Zanders show you that those limits were invented. If you invented your limits, you can invent something new.
That's where limitless possibilities begin. It doesn't take a giant leap. It takes one new story, told with intention.
Try This Today
Here's a quick exercise. Pick the parts that apply to you.
- Write one limit you believe about yourself. It might be “I'm not good with numbers” or “I'm too old to start over.”
- Ask what assumption sits under that limit. Write it beside the first line.
- Ask what you could invent that would give you more choices. List at least three new options.
- Give yourself an ‘A’ for the next 30 days. Act as a person who has already grown past the limit.
- Stand in front of a mirror and say one of your new options out loud.
Check in with yourself at the end of the week. Notice what has shifted, even a little.
Closing Thoughts
One line in Mirror Work sent me back to a book I read years ago. That's the gift of reading widely. Ideas from different books meet, and something new appears.
The art of possibility is a daily practice, not a one-time insight. Each morning, you can choose a bigger frame, give yourself an ‘A’, and step past a limit you invented. Start with one limit today and see where the art of possibility takes you.
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