Introduction: The New Both Order by Dr. Kevin Leman
How well do you get along with your colleagues? Perhaps if you understood their birth order that would give you insights into who they are. And it will give you more insights into who you are. After reading the New Birth Order by Dr. Kevin Leman, I had mixed feelings about it. The book is entertaining, yet insightful, and packed with a lot of interesting information, but I think there is too much going on.
To get the most from New Birth Order by Kevin Leman, I suggest that you read the first ten chapters and use the Table of Contents to decide which other chapters to read. The book includes a lot of parenting information in the later chapters, but do not let this deter you. By just reading the first ten chapters you would have gotten your money’s worth.
UPDATE: First Published in July 2009
Content: What is the New Birth Order by Dr. Kevin Leman About?
Dr. Kevin Leman defines birth order as the science of understanding your place in the family line. He provides another way of categorizing and trying to understand people. Here are the characteristics that Dr. Leman uses in the book:
First Born: Perfectionist, reliable, conscientious, list maker, well organized, hard driving, natural leader, critical, serious, scholarly, logical, doesn’t like surprises and loves computers. Leman divides firstborns into two major groups – (1) compliant nurturers and caregivers, and (2) aggressive movers and shakers.
Middle Child: Mediator, compromising, diplomatic, avoids conflict, independent, loyal to peers, many friends, a maverick, secretive and unspoiled.
Last Born: Manipulative, charming, blames others, attention seeker, tenacious, people person, natural salesperson, precocious, engaging, affectionate and loves surprises.
Only Child: Little adult by age seven, very thorough, very deliberate, high achiever, self-motivator, fearful, cautious, voracious reader, black and white thinker, has very high expectations, more comfortable around people who are older or younger and uses “very,” “extremely,” and “exactly” a lot. Only children also share many of the characteristics of firstborn children.
Based on the characteristics listed above, and using myself as an example, I exhibit many of the characteristics of a firstborn and only child. The problem is that I am neither, so why don’t I fit this mold? I am from a two-child family with a boy and a girl. Leman explains that “Firstborn personalities can also be created by being the oldest of your sex, having a five-year gap between you and the child above you of the same sex, or achieving a role reversal and taking over the firstborn privileges and responsibilities.” I am the firstborn girl so that’s why I function as a firstborn.
Leman includes factors that affect whether or not you exhibit the characteristics of another birth order group. Some of these factors are – death of a sibling, the number of years between siblings, adoptions, being in a blended family, the “critical” nature of the parents, and birth order of each parent.
Final Thoughts: The New Both Order by Dr. Kevin Leman
The New Birth Order is instructive and the author not only attempts to explain why you are the way you are, but, also suggests how to adopt the positive qualities of other birth orders to make our lives more enjoyable and fulfilling.
I recommend this book, but I believe that there are several chapters that you can skip and still benefit from the information provided.
The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You AreBorn to Rebel: Birth Order, Family Dynamics, and Creative LivesBirth Order: What your position in the family really tells you about your characterBirth Order Blues: How Parents Can Help their Children Meet the Challenges of their Birth Order