The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Negotiation Skills

Avil Beckford // December 27

Initial Thoughts on The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Negotiation Skills

Never Split the DifferenceNever Split the DifferenceNever Split the Difference

How serious are you about learning the key skills needed for future jobs? For months now, I’ve been talking about the 10 skills the World Economic Forum identified that professionals need to thrive in 2020. And I've taken a look at the skills the organization says you need to thrive in 2022. Although negotiation skills are not on the list of skills needed for 2022, you negotiate every day.

I’ve been seriously thinking about how I can make it easier for you to learn the skills. This curated blog post, on the complete beginner’s guide to negotiation skills, is the first in a series of curated posts to learn the 10 key skills needed for future jobs.

If possible, you shouldn’t use these blog posts as a replacement to reading the relevant books. The information in the posts should complement the books you read. However, I do understand that it may be difficult for you to read five books to learn each skill, and that’s why I am creating a curated post for you for each of the 10 key skills. For this post, you will need to spend about three hours reading the articles and watching the videos on negotiation skills.

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To find the best content for this post, I used two content curation software programs – CurationSoft and TrafficFresh – as well as BuzzSumo. Additionally, based on what I read in Curate This, I selected content from across various media, and I am using many of the other tips that I found in the book to bring you the best information that I can right now.

Recently, I read the article, How to Activate Your Brain's Ability to Learn, in Popular Mechanics, and it reported that new research shows that to master a skill, you should overlearn. This means that when you feel as if you know enough about a skill, that’s not the time to stop learning. You should continue learning the skill, in addition to adjacent skills. What does this mean? First, as I just mentioned, you should read this curated post as well a book on negotiation. And second, you should learn the skills in groups. The 10 key skills needed for future jobs fall into two groups.

Related Post: Negotiation Skills Tips: Start Getting the Top 10 Employability Skills to Thrive

What is Negotiation?

What is Negotiation?: This article is from the Skills You Need website. It’s simplistic, but not a bad thing. When you are learning a new skill, in this instance, negotiation, you must be able to answer, “What is negotiation?” And that’s what this article does. It does it in a very simple manner. The information in this article will enable you to start building a foundation for negotiation stills. But, the article doesn’t contain enough information for you to master the skill. No one article will do that for you. The article lays out the stages of negotiation:

  • Preparation
  • Discussion
  • Clarification of goals
  • Negotiate towards a Win-Win outcome
  • Agreement
  • Implementation

After you finish reading, “What is Negotiation?” you’ll have a decent understanding of the skill, so that you can continue building a strong foundation.

Mastering Negotiation Skills

This SlideShare presentation answers the following questions – What is Negotiation? Features of Negotiation, and Why Negotiate? It also covers: Types of Negotiation, Distributive vs Integrative Negotiation, Negotiation Process BATNA ,Bargaining Zone Model of Negotiation, Negotiating Behavior Issues in Negotiation, Third party Negotiations, How to achieve an Effective Negotiation, and Negotiation Tips. This continues where the Skills You Need article leaves off.

Negotiation Skills & Conflict Handling

An essential learning for all managers and entrepreneurs and other professionals needing to negotiate on a daily basis. These slides will provide a direction as to the ways of negotiation and resolving conflicts. This SlideShare presentation rounds out your basic knowledge of negotiation skills.

Ways to Improve Your Negotiation Skills

How to pump up your negotiation skills for 2017: Michael Wheeler, Professor at Harvard Business School wrote this article. The information he presents in How to pump up your negotiation skills for 2017 is based on his course. Although it’s a two-page article, there are a few important pieces of information. You are trying to learn and master negotiation skills, but you negotiate every day, whether you realize it or not.

You could be negotiating an increase in salary, flexible work, implementing a new process, and so on. What Wheeler recommends, is that you keep a journal of all your negotiations – small, midsize and large. Before negotiating, create a plan as to how you will approach it. Having a journal allows you to review how you are sharpening your negotiation skills over time.

Michael Wheeler also mentions four essential skills that I thought were interesting:

  1. Capitalizing on opportunities to create value.
  2. Asserting your interests.
  3. Understanding the motivations and feelings of the other party.
  4. Getting the maximum possible in the agreement.

He mentions that number 1 and 4 are outcome related, while number 2 and 3 have a relational dimension. I am learning the skills with you, so some of this is new information for me.

Wall Street billionaire Steve Schwarzman's 4 tips to negotiate to win: The four tips to negotiate that Steve Schwarzman offers is based on his 40 years of experience making deals.
What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading PeopleWhat Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People

  • Find your ‘zone of fairness’: Think of a Venn Diagram, one circle is what you want from the negotiation. The other circle is what the other party wants, and the section that overlaps is the ‘zone of fairness.’
  • Put in the time: It takes time to achieve a level of comfort when negotiating. After you have been negotiating for a while, you will start to feel more comfortable with the negotiating process.
  • Read the people opposite you. A lot of the communication that takes place between parties is non-verbal. Therefore, you have to learn how to read body language.
  • You can always slow down: It is worth slowing down during the negotiating process, so that you can think clearly to make the right decision. There is truth to the adage, “Haste makes waste.”

Secret to Successful Negotiation

This Is the Secret to a Successful Negotiation: I liked this short article that Rod Drury wrote in Fortune. When negotiating, it is best to strive for a win-win outcome. No one wants to lose face or feel that he or she has not been dealt with fairly. Some important tips in the article include walking in the other party’s shoes. What would have to happen to make them feel like they have done well?

Before going into any negotiation, make sure that you have done your homework. Know beforehand what concessions you will give. Have a counteroffer, instead of a hard ‘No.’ Embrace the silence, talk less and listen more. You may be surprised by what you learn. Do not overplay your hand. A negotiation is not a competition. Learn to treat others with respect and dignity. When you have received what you want, leave the table.

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On ItNever Split the Difference

The One Word That Can Transform Your Negotiating Skills: This short, Fast Company article written by Chris Voss, is based on his book, Never Split the Difference. While reading through articles on negotiation skills, one word that keeps on coming up is fairness.

And that is the word that Voss is referring to. What does it mean to be fair when negotiating? How do you know if you are being manipulated when the other party touts being fair to you?

The One Word That Can Transform Your Negotiating Skills shows you how to use ‘fairness’ in your favor.

 

Negotiate as If Your Life Depends on It

FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Voss, discusses using negotiating skills in everyday life situations.

5 Exercises to Improve Your Negotiation Skills: I like the stance Samuel Edwards takes in this article. Most articles and books give you the standard negotiation advice. But what are some of the other things that will make you excel at negotiating?

Edwards discusses five exercises you can practice to hone your negotiating skills.

  1. Practice saying no. Most people are uncomfortable saying ‘No.’ Samuel Edwards recommends that you practice say ‘No.’ I must add that you should exercise sound judgment when practicing. Don’t harm yourself in any way. There are lots of situations in your life where it is okay for you to say ‘No.’
  2. Learn body language cues. As I have mentioned before, most communication is non-verbal. Learn to identify non-verbal cues.
  3. Listen to other people. Listen more and talk less. This allows you to gather more information.
  4. Conduct better research. To prepare yourself for any negotiation, you have to conduct detailed research. Do not wait until you have a negotiation to hone your information gathering skill. Identify some credible information sources. Also, practice interviewing skills, so you can learn how to ask the right questions to get the information you need.
  5. Negotiate everything. The more confident you become, the better able you are at negotiating. Negotiate with your spouse about where to vacation. You can negotiate with your friends about where to eat or which movie to watch. Every day, there are many opportunities for you to practice your negotiation skills.

Win-Win Negotiation: Finding a Fair Compromise: This article on MindTools.com builds on what you have learned so far about negotiation skills. It talks about finding a fair compromise. Oh, that ‘fair’ word again. What I particularly liked about this article is that there is a section on how to prepare for a successful negotiation.

  1. Your goals for the negotiation.
  2. Kinds of concessions are you willing to make.
  3. If you cannot come to an agreement, what’s next? What are your alternatives?

The article is packed with lots of important questions to answer.

The One Thing

Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts (without Money or Muscle)Negotiating the Impossible

The One Thing You Should Always Ignore During Negotiations: This Fortune magazine article by Deepak Malhotra is worth the read, because it reminds you of some of the things you just learned about negotiation.

The author says good intentions and great ideas are not enough when negotiating. He offers five ways to keep the negotiation productive.

  1. Establish process first.
  2. Set expectations.
  3. Ignore ultimatums.
  4. Ask “why?”—not “what?”
  5. Stay flexible.

 

Margaret Neale: Negotiation: Getting What You Want: Stanford Graduate School of Business

This video deals with salary negotiations. Negotiations have a structure, once you understand the structure, you can be successful in any negotiation. When most people think about negotiation, they think the take an adversarial stance. However, negotiation is problem solving. The goal of negotiation is not to get a deal; the goal is to get a good deal. There are four steps to achieving a successful negotiation: assess, prepare, ask, and package.

The Art of Negotiation by Maria Ploumaki, TEDxYouth@Zurich

Maria describes the most important skills behind successful negotiation, and she explains how to develop and master such qualities. According to Maria, there are three elements that influence decision making and negotiation – logic, emotions and reputation.

High Performance Negotiation Skills for Women – Prof. Leigh Thompson: Kellogg School of Management

This is an interactive class lecture on negotiation. “High Performance Negotiation Skills for Women.” Test your negotiation prowess and improve it with key best practices. The video demonstrates how a negotiation unfolds, and you will learn many tips to help you to negotiate more effectively.
Beginner’s Guide to Negotiation Skills, negotiation skills

Final Thoughts on The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Negotiation Skills

If you read the curated articles, view the SlideShare presentations, and videos, and if you take notes during the process, you will be on your way to learning negotiation skills. The next step is to read one of the books on negotiation. After you have done this, you have to find ways to apply the skills to reinforce your learning. That's how you will learn and master negotiation skills.

Don't Forget to Join the Performance Accelerator Plan to Learn the Skills to Thrive in 2020 and Beyond!

The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Negotiation Skills: Books to Learn Negotiation Skills

Getting to YesGetting to YesEnhance your Negotiation Skills and Influence PeopleEnhance your Negotiation Skills and Influence PeopleThe Only Negotiating Guide You'll Ever NeedThe Only Negotiating Guide You'll Ever NeedThe Negotiation BookThe Negotiation Book

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The London School of London Recommends These Seven Negotiation Books

Negotiation Genius: How to Overcome Obstacles and Achieve Brilliant Results at the Bargaining Table and Beyond by Deepak Malhotra and Max Bazerman
Beyond Winning: Negotiating to Create Value in Deals and Disputes by Robert Mnookin
Getting Past No: Negotiating With Difficult People by Roger Fisher and William Ury
Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator by Gary Noesner
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
The Essentials of Job Negotiations: Proven Strategies for Getting What You Want by Terri R. Kurtzberg and Charles E. Naquin
Great Negotiations: Agreements that Changed the Modern World by Fredrik Stanton

UPDATE: First Published February 2017

About the Author Avil Beckford

Hello there!

I am Avil Beckford, the founder of The Invisible Mentor. I am also a published author, writer, expert interviewer host of The One Problem Podcast and MoreReads Success Blueprint, a movement to help participants learn in-demand skills for future jobs. Sign-up for MoreReads: Blueprint to Change the World today!

In the meantime, Please support me by buying my e-books Visit My Shop, and thank you for connecting with me on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest!

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