Introduction: The Question That Changes Everything
Have you ever asked yourself, “Am I doing what I’m meant to do?” It’s a deceptively simple question. However, answering it honestly requires courage, self-awareness, and often, a total shift in how you live and work. In The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna, you are invited to explore the difference between a life built on obligation and one built on authenticity.
This isn’t just a feel-good book about chasing dreams. It’s a reflective guidebook on navigating the complex terrain of identity, fear, creativity, and purpose. And for anyone committed to personal development or seeking deeper fulfillment, The Crossroads of Should and Must is worth serious attention.
The Crossroads of Should and Must: The Anatomy of “Should” and Why It Keeps Us Stuck
From a young age, you are handed a script. Be polite. Get good grades. Choose a practical career. Don’t take too many risks. This script is full of “Shoulds”, social expectations, cultural norms, inherited beliefs, and silent rules you rarely question.
Luna argues that these “Shoulds” build a kind of invisible prison around you. They become the default operating system of your life, influencing everything from your career choices to your relationships to the way you use your time.
What’s dangerous is that “Should” can feel safe. It keeps you comfortable, liked, and often successful in the eyes of others. But after a while, you feel misaligned, disengaged, and disconnected from who you really are.
“Must” Is Who You Really Are
In contrast, “Must” is what Luna describes as your inner truth. It’s your calling. Not in the religious sense, but in the deeply human sense of what you are drawn to do, regardless of money, status, or recognition.
She writes, “Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self.”
Choosing “Must” isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity for a meaningful life. Yet, most people avoid it because it often feels risky, impractical, or terrifying. That fear is genuine. But so is the cost of ignoring your “Must.”
Getting to Know Your “Shoulds” (and Letting Them Go)
One of the most practical and valuable aspects of The Crossroads of Should and Must is Luna’s approach to self-inquiry. She encourages you to examine your “Shoulds” up close:
- Where did these expectations come from?
- Are they still true for you?
- Who benefits from you living out this particular “Should”?
This isn’t a theoretical exercise. It’s an active invitation to map your inherited beliefs, outdated assumptions, and internalized rules. By identifying the source of your “Shoulds,” you reclaim the agency to choose something different.
Luna even suggests an exercise: set up two chairs, one for your “Should” and one for your “Must.” Allow them to have a dialogue. Listen to what each side has to say. It’s symbolic but powerful. It’s a visual and emotional way to process your inner tension.
What Were You Like Before the World Told You Who to Be?
To help you reconnect with your “Must,” Luna prompts you to return to your childhood self:
- What did you love doing when no one was watching?
- Were you a daydreamer, a builder, a storyteller, a problem solver?
- What activities brought you joy?
These questions aren’t about nostalgia. They’re breadcrumbs leading back to your essence. When you rediscover what made you come alive before external expectations shaped you, you can build a life that feels like home.
Making “Must” Sustainable
Luna is honest about the challenges of choosing “Must.” She names four obstacles most people face: money, time, space, and vulnerability.
- Money: What if your calling doesn’t pay the bills? Luna encourages you to decouple financial survival from soulful work. It’s okay to do both.
- Time: If you truly value your “Must,” you’ll find time for it. Even 10 focused minutes can plant seeds for transformation.
- Space: You don’t need a fancy studio. You need boundaries, focus, and a bit of room to breathe and play.
- Vulnerability: Doing what you truly love will expose you. That’s part of the process. Get comfortable being uncomfortable.
These concerns are valid, but they aren’t reasons to abandon “Must.” They are practical challenges to solve, not immovable roadblocks.
One Step Today
One of the book’s most motivating messages is this. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to begin.
Luna urges you to take one small action. Write the first paragraph, enroll in the class, make the call, carve out quiet space. These micro-movements create momentum, and momentum creates change.
This is relevant for lifelong learners and knowledge seekers. Choosing your “Must” often means reading the books that speak to your truth, acquiring new skills, or following your curiosity wherever it leads. Even when it makes little sense right away.
Final Thoughts: What Will You Choose?
The Crossroads of Should and Must is not a one-time read. It’s a book to return to at every major transition. Whether you’re shifting careers, questioning your direction, or feeling unfulfilled, it offers clarity, encouragement, and a much-needed pause for reflection.
At The Invisible Mentor, we believe reading is a path to transformation. This book isn’t just informative. It’s cathartic. It asks you to stop performing and start becoming.
Your “Shoulds” may have gotten you here, but only your “Must” can take you where you truly want to go.
So ask yourself today. Are you living your “Should,” or are you ready to choose your “Must”?
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