The Invisible Mentor Interviews Jonathan Wong [Video]

This week I present 28-year old Jonathan Wong.  When I interview people I do not prompt them, and I let them answer questions the way that they want, and there is a certain beauty in that approach because inevitably I uncover a goldmine of information. This interview is not a traditional one because I asked only a few of the questions. After I completed the interview I agonized over whether or not I should post it because of some of the information that came out. In the end I decided to include it because it may help someone. We all have dark and  light aspects within ourselves and we have to find a way to live with them. And according to “the U.S. Department of Labor, 10 percent of all U.S. workers have a substance abuse problem. Whether employees use alcohol, illicit drugs, prescription drugs, or other substances, their behaviors can have a profound impact on the workplace.” Source

The interview contains some personal information, but I think there are some potent lessons for us to learn from Jonathan’s experience. He got involved with the wrong crowd, used drugs, and at one point was in a detention center. This is a great reminder to us to be careful who we allow into our circle of influence. Do you yield to peer pressure, or do you stand your ground?

When Jonathan has some down time one of the things he does is grab a ball and play catch. One day I bumped into Jonathan and he asked me if I would play catch with him. For those of you who know me, can you picture me playing catch? I find it interesting that the person that Jonathan most want to meet is his younger self, read why? This reminded me of an interview I did with Gail Blanke for my book Tales of People Who Get It. The book that had a profound impact on Gail's life was indeed the play Our Town by Thornton Wilder. Here is what Gail said:

It wasn’t a book but the play Our Town by Thornton Wilder. I saw this play when I was 10 years old and I have never forgotten it because it had such a profound impact on me. After I saw it, I made a promise to always let people know how much I love them, and I have kept that promise to this day.

Set at the turn of the 20th century, in the small town of Grover’s Corners, New Hampshire, U.S.A., the play reveals the ordinary lives of the people, the tale of love, marriage and death and daily life. The play is centered on a woman, Emily, who dies during childbirth and wants to go back. Those who died before her allow her to go back for a day. Emily chooses to go back on her twelfth birthday. On her twelfth birthday she sees her family and suddenly realizes how much she took things for granted. She didn’t appreciate how wonderful she had it at the time. Emily realizes how precious life is.

This play is about seizing the moment and living life fully in the moment. At 10 years old I made the promise, which I have kept, to let those near and dear to me know how much I love and appreciate them.

Excerpt from Tales of People Who Get It page 135 – An Interview With Gail Blanke

I included the excerpt because I thought it relevant to Jonathan's experience. While reading Jonathan’s interview instead of judging or criticizing, let us look at the potent lessons we can take away. If you met Jonathan, it would be very difficult for you to guess his past. He has blossomed into a fine young man and it shows that it’s never too late to change. In what areas of your life do you need to change? Is there an issue in your personal or professional life that you are ignoring? I am saying this to you as much as I am saying it to myself? Please read the article that I wrote, Do You Have the Courage to Re-invent Yourself? Jonathan's family runs three very successful restaurant businesses in Toronto, Canada but he has decided to find his own path.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Jonathan Wong: I am charismatic, outgoing, I like to be active and I really enjoy close interactions because I find that people are really interesting. To be out and about and around people is a lot of fun for me.

Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it.

Jonathan Wong: When I was 18 and early twenties I got involved with some characters who liked to use drugs and I got involved in that. I learned some lessons from that experience, and my memory and thought processes would have been a lot better if I hadn’t gotten involved with that. It is an interesting experience that I had to go through and I overcame what was holding me back and holding me in that position. I had a couple of near death experiences and it’s something that I never want to ever experience again, and that helped me to get out of that and make a change.

What lessons did you learn in the process?

Jonathan Wong:

1. I learned to surround myself with positive people
2. I learned that though I do like to interact with all kinds of people, there are some that you should stay out of arm’s reach from. I still have childhood friends that I would still like to keep in touch with but it’s very difficult because they are still doing drugs, and I can see their mental deterioration and altered personalities and we have gone two ways. We used to be able to have fun and joke around but now it’s very awkward around them, so it’s best for me to stay away from those people.

As an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

In the video below, Jonathan assumes the role of invisible mentor and give us some advice he thinks is important. Watch the short video and let me know what you think.

Jonathan Wong Assumes the Role of Invisible Mentor from Avil Beckford on Vimeo.

What’s a major regret that you’ve had in life?

Jonathan Wong: I would like to say that I do not have any regrets, but there are a couple of things that I’ve gone through. I was involved with a woman not too long ago, and we were together for a few months but I realized that I did not want to be with her so I ended the relationship. Shortly after that I discovered that she was pregnant and she gave me the option of being with her and the child and I freaked out because I was young and didn’t have a job. I also told her that I didn’t want to be with her. After about a week later I came to my senses and I told her that I wanted to help raise my child, and by that time she didn’t want to have anything to do with me. I regret that I do not get to spend a lot of time with my child and when I get visitation it’s not for a long time.

What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Jonathan Wong:

1. Always be active, to be in good physical shape is very important
2. Always be assertive and that doesn’t mean that you go for every opportunity that comes your way, but you should certainly investigate them to determine if they are right for you
3. Cherish your family and do not allow anything to come between you and them. Resolve whatever issues you have and get your ego out of the way. Also learn how to apologize and things will work themselves out
4. Learn to slow down and appreciate life, even doing something as simple as watching the sunrise or sunset, watching the trees shape sun rays as they sway in the wind can bring you serenity
5. It's important co-operate with others in the workplace

When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Jonathan Wong: I play cards, video and board games, hang out with friends and sometimes I grab a ball and play catch outside.

What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Jonathan Wong: When I was younger I used to listen to music and that would help with my sketching and painting. What I felt from listening to the music came out on the paper.

What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Jonathan Wong: I got into trouble when I was eighteen and there were two characters involved in that incident. When I was in the detention center, my mother came to visit me and she told me that “The truth shall set you free.” And after that, I could not, not tell the truth. I stopped doing a lot of things and I couldn’t stand there and not open the doors for others. That was a very powerful phrase for me.

How do you define success?

Jonathan Wong: Success is something that you attain and it’s not always through wealth. I also think that as long as you are happy in what you are doing, making enough money to put food on the table, and take out your partner once in a while, you are successful.

In your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Jonathan Wong: Be hardworking, make sound decisions and research what you are going to do and think about how you are going to approach things.

If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Jonathan Wong: There is only one person that I’d like to meet and that’s my younger self. So if I could go back into my past, I would like to talk to myself. I was a very shy child, and I came out of it when I was in Junior High, so I would tell him not to be afraid and that everything would be okay, and that whatever was troubling him, he should not worry about it. And I would try to bring him out of his shyness. I think that my past reflects my future so if I could have gotten to him earlier I would be a different person now, and also more of a go-getter.

What excites you about life?

Jonathan Wong: The future excites me about life, not knowing what’s going to happen. Life is like a strategic game, you set something up, and you take different paths and it’s exciting not knowing where you’ll end up.

If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for? Or, if I gave you a magic wand, what would you use it for?

Jonathan Wong: I would wish for wellness and happiness because I think that those are two very important things.

Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Jonathan Wong: I’m surrounded by loved one and friends.

What are five takeaways from Jonathan's interview?

Lessons

1. There is truth to the adage, “Show me your company and I'll tell you who you are,” so be careful who you let into your sphere of influence.
2. No one is perfect and we'll forever make mistakes, but the trick is to learn from our mistakes.
3. Explore opportunities that come your way to determine if the fit is right for you.
4. Cherish your friends and family.
5. True success isn't about money.
6. Take time to enjoy life

Another lesson I gleaned from Jonathan's interview is beautifully summarized in the poem Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it's a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

Portia Nelson, 1920 – 2001, There's a Hole in My Sidewalk

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