Introduction: The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna
The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna explores the tension between societal expectations and personal desires. And the profound choice between living a life dictated by external expectations and following one's true calling.
It provides practical exercises and insights to help readers identify and pursue their true calling, leading to a more authentic and fulfilling life. By examining the concepts of “Should” and “Must,” Luna offers a roadmap to align our lives with our deepest values and desires. This book is a guide for anyone feeling confined by societal norms and seeking a path that resonates with their authentic self.
Summary: The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna
Do you have a job, a career, or a calling? Elle Luna defines each one in the book.
A calling
Something that we feel compelled to do regardless of fame or fortune; the work is the reward.
Do you do what you are? Does your life blend seamlessly into your work? What if who we are and what we do become one and the same?
The author defines should and must for us. ‘Should’ is other people’s expectations and how they think we should live our lives. Shoulds could also be influential systems that pressure us. ‘Must’ is what we do to follow our values and beliefs. You stop conforming to other people’s ideals. Doing this allows us to realize our potential.
“Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self. It’s that which calls to us most deeply.”
Choosing ‘Must’ is the greatest thing you can do for yourself and your life.
Shoulds
Shoulds are placed on you from your birth by your parents. You develop a world view from the company, culture, and specific time you were born. However, later you can decide on that worldview. Sometimes we keep our ‘Shoulds’ much longer than expected. Perhaps you’re still holding on to some of your ‘Shoulds.’ Are you aware of the ‘Shoulds’ you inherited?
“If you want to live the fullness of your life—if you want to be free—you must understand, first, why you are not free, what keeps you from being free.”
A prison doesn’t have to be a physical space. It could be mental.
If you want to know ‘Must,’ it’s important to get to know ‘Should.’
“We unconsciously imprison ourselves to avoid our most primal fears. We choose Should because choosing Must is terrifying, incomprehensible. Our prison is constructed from a lifetime of Shoulds, the world of choices we’ve unwittingly agreed to, the walls that alienate us from our truest, most authentic selves. Should is the doorkeeper to Must.”
Removing Should from Our Lives
To remove the ‘Shoulds’ from our lives is hard and time consuming. To do so, understand Should and get to know it up close and personal. Where did the Should come from? Look for recurring patterns and choices in your life.
Must
You create your path for Must.
“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path,” Joseph Campbell said. “Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.”
The book provides exercises for you to figure out your ‘Must.’ You ‘Must’ is always with you. It is you.
Acquire a New Skill Every Month
What are some things you’d like to learn? They may seem random, but after a while you’ll notice a pattern, and your interests will integrate and cross-pollinate. Note what you see in a notebook. Look for patterns, connections, and recurring themes.
“When you know why you are here—what you were put on this earth to do—it is challenging to go back to life as you knew it and be satisfied. And this is why Must is elusive. This is why we avoid admitting what we want.”
What do you do after you’ve figured out your ‘Must?’
4 Concerns About Achieving a Sustainable Must
- Money: What if doing what you love doesn’t pay? Then you have to find another way to earn a living, but keep doing your calling. Keep your eye on your ‘Must,’ and optimize your time to sustain it. How much money is enough? Distinguish between must have and nice to have. Choosing ‘Must’ will make you rich because you have your priorities straight.
- Time: When you’re aware of what you want, you’re more self-aware about how you spend your time. Find pockets of time for your ‘Must.’ Shift from thinking about your ‘Must,’ to doing something about it.
- Space: You don’t need an office to make space for your ‘Must.’ Make yourself unavailable when you’re in your space. ‘Must’ loves play. How can you engage in play? What objects inspire you? Be alone with yourself. You need psychological space.
- Vulnerability: But what if? Get comfortable with your doubts and fears. List the things you’re afraid of. Examine your fears. Are they emotional?
Conclusion: The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna
The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna offers a profound exploration of how to align your life with your true calling. By distinguishing between the external pressures of “Should” and the deep, intrinsic pull of “Must,” Luna provides actionable insights and exercises to help readers live more authentically. Embracing “Must” requires courage and commitment, but it leads to a richer, more fulfilling life.
Next Steps
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