In February 2003, I received a handwritten note from Julia Conn Watt, a person I now count among my invisible mentors. I had sent her a card first, to thank her. Her reply surprised me.
She wrote she would cherish my card. She was glad I felt she was fully present when we spoke. Then she told me something I never forgot. Listening did not come naturally to her, and she had worked long and hard over the years to learn it.
Julia died in 2004, but her lesson stays with me. She taught me to listen so well that the other person feels like the most important person in the world. That skill shaped my work as an interviewer.
I still keep her note. A photo of it appears in my book, Tales of People Who Get It.
Canadian Thanksgiving is on Monday, October 12. Most of us will give thanks for family, friends, food, and health. This year, I want to add a group that rarely gets thanked, our invisible mentors.
An invisible mentor is a person you learn from at a distance. You may never meet them. Their books, recordings, and stories still shape how you think and act.
I built my business on this idea. So, this Thanksgiving, I want to thank three more of my invisible mentors. Then I will show you how to thank yours.
Earl Nightingale Gave Me a Reading Habit
In the early 2000s, I found Lead the Field, an audio program by Earl Nightingale. Nightingale-Conant first released it in the early 1960s, and Nightingale recorded a new edition in 1987. It has twelve lessons on ideas like attitude, goals, and service.
I listened to it more than ten times. Some of those times were on road trips, with the program playing as the miles went by.
One idea stayed with me. Nightingale urged listeners to spend an hour a day studying their field. That advice gave my reading a structure.
I started with a book a week. Later, I read a couple of books a week. To test myself, I also did several 30-day challenges, reading a book a day.
Another habit came from the program, too. Every day, I review my goals. That small practice keeps me pointed in the right direction.
Thank you, Earl, for turning my love of reading into a daily discipline.
Venice Bloodworth Gave Me Hope
Key to Yourself by Venice Bloodworth first came out in 1952. Bloodworth held a doctorate in psychology, and she blended it with Christian teaching. Her central idea is that our thoughts shape our lives. To change your conditions, start by changing your thinking.
I first read this book during a turbulent time in my life. It gave me hope. It also taught me how to go into the silence to find the answers I needed.
In my book, Tales of People Who Get It, I wrote that this book helped me reconnect with my authentic self.
I have read Key to Yourself nine times. No other book comes close. Each reading brings comfort and reminds me I have the power to change my life.
The book is very Christian in tone, but it does not preach. You do not have to share her faith to try her ideas.
Thank you, Venice, for showing me that the key was inside me all along.
Eleanor Roosevelt Taught Me My Worth is Mine
Eleanor Roosevelt is one of my invisible counselors. When I face a hard decision, I imagine what she would do.
One idea credited to her has stayed with me for years. No one can make you feel less than others unless you allow it.
Historians note she may not have said those exact words. Still, the idea runs through her whole life.
As a child, Eleanor was made to feel unattractive. Her mother cared a great deal about looks, and Eleanor grew up with a strong sense of inferiority.
At fifteen, she went to school in England. Her headmistress, Marie Souvestre, saw the intellect and compassion others missed, and taught her to think for herself.
Eleanor became the first politically active First Lady. Later, she chaired the UN Commission on Human Rights and helped pass the Universal Declaration of Human Rights in 1948. Other people's opinions did not decide her worth.
You can read more about her life in my profile of Eleanor Roosevelt.
That lesson helps me in business. When a client says no, or a critic is unkind, I remember that my value is not up for a vote.
Thank you, Eleanor, for teaching me to guard my self-worth.
Write Your Own Thank-You Note
Now it is your turn. Pick one invisible mentor. This can be an author, a speaker, a podcast host, or a historical figure. Choose someone who changed how you think or act.
Then fill in this short template. Pick the parts that apply to you.
Dear [name],
I first found your [book, recording, or story] when [what was happening in your life].
The idea that stayed with me was [one idea in your own words].
Because of you, I now [a habit, decision, or change].
This year, I will [one way you will apply the idea again].
Thank you for [what they gave you].
Next, decide what to do with your note.
- Keep it in your journal, and read it again next Thanksgiving.
- Share it on social media, and tag the author if they are living.
- Send it to the author through their website or publisher.
- Read it aloud at your Thanksgiving table, and ask each guest to name one invisible mentor.
The line about this year matters most. Using what you learned is the best thank-you a mentor can receive.
Final Thoughts
Thanksgiving is a time to count our blessings. Some of those blessings arrived as books, recordings, and words from people we never met.
Earl Nightingale gave me a habit. Venice Bloodworth gave me hope. Eleanor Roosevelt gave me a reminder that my worth is mine to keep.
This weekend, take ten minutes to thank your invisible mentors. Then take one idea they gave you and use it again.
