Influence is Your Superpower by Zoe Chance, Summary

Introduction: Influence is Your Superpower by Zoe Chance

Influence is Your Superpower: How to Get What You What Without Compromising Who You Are by Dr. Zoe Chance, a professor at Yale School of Management, and a behavioral scientist. Chance teaches the course, Mastering Influence and Persuasion. Her book is a thoughtful and practical book, outlining effective and powerful strategies for influencing others. It provides you with the tools and tactics you need to impact others ethically.

This book goes against the norm. Many books on influence, even some that are considered Bibles, advocate manipulative strategies. The information in Influence is Your Superpower is not like that. The author uses her social psychology, behavioral economics and neuroscience lens to investigate the science of influence. She delivers ideas to influence others successfully.

Summary of Influence is Your Superpower by Zoe Chance

When you read a fiction book, somewhere in the story, you’ll find a line that's the title. And though Influence is Your Superpower is nonfiction, I was intrigued by the title and wondered about it. Here’s a quote I found that uses the title. This puts things in perspective.

“Whether you’re negotiating better deals for yourself and others, generating unexpected favors and opportunities for everyone involved, or creating meaningful change in your family, in your community, or even across the whole world, influence is your superpower.”

Also, sometimes when reading a book, you come across information that applies to you. Others may skip that information because it isn't relevant to them. If you offer people choices like small, medium, and large, or good, better, and best, they’ll go for the middle option instead of the extremes because they can justify it. Chance cites an experiment where there were small, medium, and large-sized ponchos. Average-sized individuals chose the ponchos labeled medium, even when looking at the ponchos, you could clearly see that some mediums were too small.

I have a membership website, the Art of Learning Leadership Academy. I've read several times that it's important to have three tiers of membership and that most people will choose the middle option. In the book, following up with the poncho experiment, Chance had this to say.

“Economists Carl Shapiro and Hal Varian identified what they call the Goldilocks strategy. You propose something you think will be ideal for the other person, along with one alternative that’s far less than you think they need and one that’s far more than you think they need. The middle option feels not too big and not too small: just right. You’re not manipulating them into something they don’t need; you’re encouraging them to take action rather than putting it off.”

This information is a goldmine for me. These are the little nuggets to look for in books. Find information in Influence is Your Superpower that applies to your situation.

Definition of Influence

You won’t find a clear definition of what influence is. Chance gives you a lot of information describing influence and it’s up to you to understand what it is. For example, you’ll see that influence is power.

“Interpersonal influence is our human advantage, passed down in our DNA. It is what allowed our species to band together, work together, and span the globe. It will remain our advantage in an increasingly digital world, for as long as people are in charge. It has given you the success you already have, and it’s the path to what you’re still hoping to do…. Being influential gives us the ability to create change, direct resources, and move hearts and minds.”

Influence vs. Manipulation

Influence is Your Superpower reminded me of Start with Why by Simon Sinek. In the book, Sinek says there are two ways to influence human behavior: manipulate and inspire. Manipulative techniques are often used in sales and marketing. Common examples include: dropping the price of a product, running a promotion, using scarcity and fear, so you get customers to buy now, and so on.

Many manipulative techniques work, and that is why so many people and companies continue to use them. But they often come at a cost, especially when you lower prices, later creating problems for the firm. Manipulative strategies do not lead to long-term success. Manipulation does not garner loyalty because it leads to transactions.

Transactional influence treats people like objects. The problem is that many well-known experts on influence, such as Robert Cialdini and Chris Voss, use language that makes others think it’s okay to behave a certain way. They encourage you to:

“Use “weapons of influence” for “beating our opponents.” Marketers (I’m one of them) refer to customers as “targets,” like a pickup artist or a con artist might. Academic researchers (I’m one of them, too) have called study participants “subjects” and their experiments “manipulations.””

10 Misperceptions of Influence

1. Pushy = influential. That’s not true and is actually the opposite. Give people the opportunity to say no and they will likely say yes. To influence you have to be influenceable.
2. If they understand the facts, they’ll make the right decision. People decide based on emotions, then use facts to justify them. Facts are less persuasive than you think.
3. People act on their values and their conscious decisions. People want to act on values and conscious decisions. However, there’s a gap between intention and behavior. When you change someone’s mind, that doesn’t mean you’re influencing their behavior.
4. Becoming influential involves persuading disbelievers and bending resistant people to your will. If you want to sell your ideas, you need champions. Finding, empowering, and motivating these champions is better than trying to overcome people’s resistance.
5. A negotiation is a battle. It doesn’t have to be that way. Experienced negotiators are more collaborative. That’s why they’re successful and will become more successful.
6. Asking for more will make people like you less. This is more about how you ask than how much you ask for.
7. The most influential people can get anyone to do anything. This is not how things work, and that’s a good thing.
8. You’re a good judge of character and can spot a con a mile away. Anyone can get duped sometimes. There are red flags to look for.
9. People don’t listen to people like you. You can learn to speak so others listen and listen so others will speak.
10. You don’t deserve to have power, or money, or love—or whatever you secretly wish for. To become a person of influence, understand and practice it.

Say No

Learn to say no, so you’re not over-committed. Saying no creates space in your life. Get comfortable saying no and hearing no. Take on the No Challenge to let no be your default response.

“The No Challenge is about being kind to yourself and giving yourself permission to take up more space in the world. It’s an experiment that will allow you to see how often your Gator’s gut reaction is based on compliance. Compliance is usually the easiest thing in that moment. As you practice saying no, try not to explain yourself any more than you have to. “No” is a complete sentence, and “No, thank you” is a polite complete sentence.”

Find The Right Time

Knowing the right time is important in so many situations. When you ask, sometimes matter more than how you ask, or even what you’re asking for.

A moment of truth is a situation when someone is likely to be open to your influence. When is the best time to approach your boss for a raise? That’s a moment of truth and is relevant to effective communication.

“A pause, whether it’s momentary or stretched out, can realign the passage of time between you and your audience.”

There are two big secrets to stage presence:

1. The pause
2. Shining

This secret of the pause is based on the third paradox of charisma. To connect with many people, connect with one.

How to Deal With Difficult People

Most people prefer collaboration over competition. Keep this in mind when negotiating. At the start of negotiations, exude friendliness and flexibility. More than likely, the other party will respond with warmth and open-mindedness. Sometimes your counterpart is difficult, no matter what you do. They could be scared and defensive. Or maybe they're inexperienced. Or maybe they believe being a hardball is how you negotiate.

When your counterpart is difficult, use leverage. Use the following questions as a guide to figure out your leverage.

• What do they have that you want?
• What do you have that they want?
• What does each side stand to lose (including pride)?
• Can you improve your alternatives?

Sometimes you may feel you don’t have any leverage. Consider for a minute that you may be wrong. Prepare before the negotiation, so you know your outside options and what lines you won’t cross. In the example in the book, the person who appeared to have the least leverage embraced the pause. The pause is powerful in a negotiation. Tell your difficult counterpart what you want and stop talking.

With a difficult person, keep it simple. You can say no without getting angry. Sometimes the author tries what she calls the Kindly Brontosaurus.

“Sometimes I try to maintain a Kindly Brontosaurus equilibrium: “I’m sorry, I just can’t.” “Unfortunately, it’s not possible.” “It’s just not realistic.””

Building Strong Relationships

Zoe Chance says if you want to build and maintain strong relationships, you cannot use the same tricks and tactics you’d use to sell a car. The best salespeople are relationship builders whose clients do business with repeatedly.

Importance of Trust

When you shift from transaction, win-lose influence to personal, mutual influence, you become a more trusted adviser. And when you’re clear about your parameters and in establishing them you convey confidence and inspire trust.

Listen to the other person to make them feel heard. It makes them feel good.

 

“Happy people are more generous and more creative, leading to better agreements and a greater likelihood of sticking to the bargain. In most cases, generosity inspires trust and reciprocation.”

Effective Communication

Effective communication is an important aspect of building relationships because it helps to build trust. Good communication also allows people to express their needs, desires, and concerns in a healthy and productive way. This prevents conflicts from escalating and damaging the relationship.

Effective communication also allows others to see you in a better light. Ask people they like to communicate. Email, phone call, text? When will the other person be open to your message?

These are important when you want to influence.

Conclusion: Influence is Your Superpower by Zoe Chance

Influence Is Your Superpower by Zoe Chance shows us how our ability to shape others' decisions and actions is a vital tool in our lives. Think of it as your personal superpower for making things happen. The book teaches us that being influential isn't about tricking or forcing people, but about building strong connections and making them want to say “yes” to us.

We've learned that it's crucial to tell the difference between good influence and sneaky manipulation. Manipulation might work in the short run, but it doesn't lead to trust or lasting success. Instead, the book gives us practical techniques like asking the right questions and being kind but firm when we need to say “no.”

Note: If you want to read the full summary of Influence is Your Superpower by Zoe Chance, please join the Art of Learning Leadership Academy.

Next Steps

Wondering what to do next, you can do all of:

1. Buy my new book, Leadership Reading: Spilling the Tea on How Top Leaders Read

2. Buy Influence Is Your Superpower: How to Get What You Want Without Compromising Who You Are by Zoe Chance

3. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel

4. Join the Art of Learning Membership Site

5. Download Unlock Your Genius Power Reading Tips Sheet

6. Buy me a cup of coffee!

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