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Mentor Yourself: An Interview With Shannon Moroney, Author, Advocate & Speaker, Part II

Avil Beckford — Fri, 11 May 2012 11:29:07 +0000

Invisible Mentor: Shannon Moroney, Author, Advocate & Speaker

Website: http://www.shannonmoroney.com/

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Shannon Moroney: I’m the author of a book that just came out titled Through the Glass. It’s my memoir of a personal experience as a victim of crime but moreover of the spouse of an offender and the journey through the justice system. I’m based in Toronto, and I travel all over the place doing public speaking and putting some of my efforts into restorative justice.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Shannon Moroney: It’s a challenge! I think so much of my professional life is personal because it is about sharing my story. When I go to do a speaking engagement I always bring somebody with me who is just for me – my husband, my mom, my dad, a friend – and that brings everyone together so that I’m not alone with my experiences. When I go out and speak to a community group or work in a prison, somebody is there with me just to share it, and to debrief afterwards and that’s a really wonderful thing and I I’m lucky can do that.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Shannon Moroney: I spend it doing the things I want to do, and spend it with people who I love to be with. The work that I do is very emotional and involves a lot of output so I really have to focus my downtime on recharging my batteries. I love to cook. I like to do yoga. I can’t wait until I’m not pregnant so that I can really exercise again – that would be good. I try to do things that are a pleasure, relaxing. Definitely the most helpful and grounding activity for me, other than spending time with my loved ones is doing creative work, whether it’s painting or knitting or making a photo album, something that involves creativity is a really grounding force for me.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Shannon Moroney:

Know yourself. Act within your own values else you’ll be very uncomfortable.
Prioritize the people in your life over possessions and work.
The days sometimes go by slowly but the years go by quickly, and it’s good to embrace what you have every day because you don’t know how quickly it can change. I was grateful before this trauma happened I was somebody who was quite aware, and appreciated my life. When the life I knew suddenly came to an end, I knew that I hadn’t wasted any time before that happened.
Let people talk about you, sometimes you have to stand up for yourself, and other times you have to try not to take things personally, because most people when they criticize, they are coming from where they’re at in their own lives.
Be compassionate and hope that the compassion you show for other people, and the understanding and trying to put your feet in somebody else’s shoes is what you can expect from other people, and that you’ll be shown that same compassion.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Shannon Moroney: Success is a generalized feeling of positivity, of the right combination of purpose, fulfilling your purpose that you define for yourself, and having people around to share it with. For me, that’s really important. We use the word balance a lot these days, and I think it’s important to try to achieve the right balance of work and play, volunteering and having time for yourself – that’s a good formula to try to achieve. It’s different for every person.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Shannon Moroney:

Frida Kahlo, the Mexican self-portrait artist. I would thank her for being an example of someone who could be open to the pain she was in, and not try to make it pretty. She’s not trying to please anybody but herself through her artwork, and in so doing, impacted a lot of people.
I’d love to meet Lucille Ball just because in my family whenever anyone was feeling sick, the solution was always to eat cinnamon toast and watch I Love Lucy, so I feel like she is a member of my family.
There are some authors that I’d like to meet and have dinner with. But mostly I would be very nervous about what I would say to them. I would listen to what they have to say to me and not do too much of the talking myself. Authors I admire are Barbara Kingsolver and Jeannette Walls who wrote a fantastic memoir called The Glass Castle and Lucy Maud Montgomery who wrote all the Anne of Green Gables books because I feel the values she puts forward in her books, as I read them as a young girl, impacted how I grew. The character of Anne shaped who I wanted to be – how she was different from other people, coped with her own frustrations. All those authors are people I’d like to thank for what they give, and for giving me a story or a book I can read and learn so much from.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Shannon Moroney: There are many books but I’ll say The Catcher in the Rye even though I haven’t read it for years and years. At the time, I was 16 or 17 when I read it and the main character Holden Caulfield, I felt that I understood him and the actual catcher in the rye is a person that all they want to do is stand on the edge of a cliff and save all the little children who are playing, from falling over the edge of the cliff.

When I read The Catcher in the Rye as a teenager, I knew that’s exactly what I wanted to do in the world was to keep the little children from falling over the cliff, so much so that I wrote that as my ambition in my yearbook, my career ambition. By becoming a teacher, by working with young people who’ve experienced violence, and by finally becoming a mother myself, my passion is for children and young people and trying to keep them away from the dangers, and allow them to grown and fully be themselves. I hold that to the main character Holden Caulfield in The Catcher in the Rye.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the two years? T he prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million?

Shannon Moroney:

Two Years

If there is anyway I could bring my guitar with me, I would because the guitar is the best travel companion. I would try to build a connection with nature around me, observe and get involved with the natural life rather than try to fight it, and look for ways to survive and realize that everything I need would be around me.

I would also spend a lot of my time crying, I’m sure, because I’m a very social, outgoing person, very extroverted, and that would be the number one hardest thing about being on my own, would be not having other people around me.

Five Books

I would take a really long book that I have never read before, something really hard like War and Peace, something that would make me a better person. I have actually lived in some very isolated places where you read anything because there is nothing else to do so it’s a good way to get through hard books.
I would take some of my favourites that I can really escape into. I would take something like Anne of Green Gables: The Collection, or Little Women (Sterling Classics) – these classic books from my childhood that I could escape and love.
I would take one of my favourite Buddhist books of literature, which is The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Library) by Pema Chodron because I think that would give me guidance as I coped with being on this isolated island.
I’d take a Barbara Kingsolver book, maybe Prodigal Summer: A Novel or the The Poisonwood Bible: A Novel. These are the kinds of books that each time you read them you get more so it would be okay to reread them.

Movie & Music CD

For music I would take the Indigo Girls, the album that has “Closer to Fine” (Indigo Girls) which has been a staple of my life. I’m not a big movie person, but it would probably be Little Women. I don’t watch new movies all the time, but Little Women is one I like to watch every year and I feel so comforted. I think where I’m going for this life on the island is for comfort and security and not new or scary or anything like that.

Indigo Girls – Closer To Fine

Cannot view this video, click here. Uploaded by IndigoGirlsVEVO on Oct 25, 2009

Little Women (1933) – Trailer

Cannot view this video, click here. Uploaded by warnervod on Jun 13, 2011

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Shannon Moroney: Possibilities, the opportunity to travel, the growth I have in my relationships. I’m at a wonderful point of new beginnings with my new husband, with our children about to be born. There are a lot of things. I feel so lucky to have the life that I do, to have the perspective that I do, to have come through such a horrible situation. I feel very lucky to live in Canada, very lucky for the opportunities that I have. I’m very lucky for my education and all of those things make life a lot easier, and it’s something that lots of people in the world don’t have, is the opportunity even just to dream and get excited about life because work and daily survival is so important.

For me, even though I lost my ability to dream for a while when I was just having to survive day-to-day and make all these difficult decisions that when I finally emerged and got back that ability to dream and have hope, it’s a wonderful experience. So lots of things excite me about life, and I hope it’s long.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Shannon Moroney: Connecting with nature is the number one thing for me. Usually if I see myself coming off balance because I haven’t spent enough time in and around trees, connecting with the beautiful wilderness that we have in Canada. But I do live in a big city so I also have little practices that I do that offer me a chance to reflect, whether it’s lighting a candle, burning some sage, or just sitting quietly is very important to me. And my soul is nurtured so much by other people and by being around the people who I love.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Shannon Moroney: I would wish for more compassion in our world – that’s the number one thing I could think of, less judgement and more compassion.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Shannon Moroney: I’m happy when I’m with the people I love.

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Mentor Yourself: An Interview With Shannon Moroney, Author, Advocate & Speaker(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself – An Interview With Drew Dudley, Founder & Chief Catalyst Part II(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself: Interview With Invisible Mentor Julie Daniluk, TV Host Part II(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself: Interview With Joann Lim, Making It Happen Specialist & Professional Coach, Part II(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself: Interview With Invisible Mentor Julie Daniluk, TV Host, Nutritionist, Motivational Speaker, Writer(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself – An Interview With Drew Dudley(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself – Interview With Invisible Mentor Jo Ann Langer, Senior Retail Executive Part II(theinvisiblementor.com)

Mentor Yourself With Diane Craig, President, Corporate Class Inc., Part II (theinvisiblementor.com)

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Mentor Yourself With Diane Craig, President, Corporate Class Inc., Part II

Avil Beckford — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 09:31:41 +0000

Interviewee Name: Diane Craig, President

Company Name: Corporate Class Inc.

Website: http://www.corporateclassinc.com/

To get the most from The Invisible Mentor Interview with Diane Craig, while you are reading it, answer the following questions:

Are their similarities between Diane Craig and yourself?
In what ways can you use the information?
In what ways would you respond differently from the interviewee?
What are your five takeaways from the interview?
After reading the interview, what is one concrete action you can take?

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Diane Craig: I’m an entrepreneur. I’ve had my business for many years now. I love my work and I love life, I love my family and I enjoy people.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Diane Craig: I live what I preach. Whenever I can involve my family in what I do professionally, in a way that is good, in terms of whether it is travel, opportunity to speak, I make sure that I can integrate both.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Diane Craig: I love to cook and I find it very relaxing. I also read and workout.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Diane Craig:

Not to assume.
Not be as impatient as I’ve been over the years.
Make time to do things for myself, whether it’s a workout, going to the spa, getting a manicure, visit friends. I’m getting pretty good at that.
I’ve learned to support and encourage my son without telling him what to do. I let him learn by his own errors and mistakes. If he is passionate about something and I’m not too crazy about it, I may voice my concerns, but I will support him knowing that when you fall you get your biggest lessons.
Don’t wish for miracles, just expect them.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Diane Craig: I love to get up before dawn even if I know that I don’t have to go into the office early or if I have a day off. I have a special chair and I sit there. I meditate and just let things come to me. I have very strong faith, and I hear the messages in those times, and my best ideas, and solutions have come from those moments.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Diane Craig: For me, success is being able to go to bed at night with a clear conscience. I think that’s a successful day. And on a more practical level, I’m not a big goal setter, except that every year on January 1st, this is a ritual that I’ve had for many years, I write a life script. If everything was perfect in my life, what would it look life, what would I be doing, at all levels – personal, professional, health and family. I go through that and I record it and listen to it for the first month. And I do set some goals along with that. I only look at them the following year, and I look back on the other years and I see how I made most of them happen. And I think it’s just the subconscious for me to put it there, and not dwell on them, but plant the seed and it gives me a focus. I guess that I’ve done that for so many years now that I don’t even think about it.

Of course you have some goals businesswise, deadlines to meet, minimum revenues to generate, but beyond that, I think that when I can plant the seed and look back later then I see where I’ve had some success and making those things happen. It’s making your dreams a reality.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Diane Craig: I was diligent in making sure that I was technically sound in my knowledge. I didn’t diversify into 20 different areas. Sometimes I look at the websites of some of my competitors and they do all sorts of different things and I don’t know how they can be an expert at all those things. I focus on all the areas of image and etiquette and building an executive presence and everything that’s related to that. So I stick with what I know and instead of working on things that I’m not very good at, I keep working on the things that I’m very good at so I can become even better at that then it makes competition a little more difficult. I focus on my strengths instead of my weaknesses.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Diane Craig: Focus on the area that you are strong in and become known as an expert in that area. Otherwise you’re going to be good at something, very good at something else, but will you be excellent, extraordinary, unique in one thing?

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Diane Craig:

I would love to meet Eleanor Roosevelt (Profile of Eleanor Roosevelt). She was a great conversationalist and it’s a skill that so many people lack. I’ve studied it so much and I would love to meet her.
I’ve had the opportunity to speak to Albert Mehrabian, the doctor who did the research in body language, but I would love to meet with him, and find out what drove him to do this study, that so many years later still stands.
I’d love to meet Michelle Obama.
I would have loved to meet Princess Diana.
If I could get some time with Laureen Harper, I would love that. I would ask her if she understands the power she has in the position she has in being Canada’s First Lady, and how does she thinks she contributes to our country?

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Diane Craig: It’s If You Want to Walk on Water, You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat by John Ortberg. I wanted to walk on water in many ways, I wanted something to happen, but unless I got out of the boat that I was in, nothing was going to happen. The title of the book says it all.

Diane Craig:

Two Years

I would exercise a lot and find a way to cook new things, discover on the island what I could cook that’s new and interesting. I would also meditate a lot since I would have the time. I would make up some imaginary friends since I’m alone on the island.

Five Books

The Bible: You can reread it and reread it.

One Movie, One Music CD

For my music CD I quite like Chris Botti (Chris Botti in Boston (CD/DVD)). I really like the old movies, for example, The Sound of Music (The Sound of Music (Three-Disc 45th Anniversary Blu-ray/DVD Combo in Blu-ray Packaging)).

Chris Botti – When I Fall in Love

Cannot view this video? Click here. Uploaded by JedYuseco01 on Jun 9, 2009

The sound of music – Do Re Mi Fa

Cannot view this video? Click here. Uploaded by EqualMac on Jan 26, 2011

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Diane Craig: I’m very excited about getting up every morning and thinking about what I have to do during the day because I love what I do. I love it when I am able to get a new client – I find that very exciting. Every time I speak to my son he energizes me – I’m so proud of him.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Diane Craig: I meditate and I like to read spiritual books. Another book I really like is Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith by Henri J. M. Nouwen.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Diane Craig: I’m not afraid of dying, but I’m afraid of how I’m going to die. I’ve seen so many good people suffer so much on their death bed and I hope I’ll be spared that, and that it will be peaceful.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Diane Craig: I’m happy when I’m with my family. I’m happy when I know that I was able to help someone, able to make a difference – that really excites me too.

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Mentor Yourself: Interview With Invisible Mentor Julie Daniluk, TV Host Part II

Avil Beckford — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 11:38:14 +0000

Mentor Yourself: Interview With Invisible Mentor Julie Daniluk

Interviewee Name: Julie Daniluk, Nutritionist, Motivational Speaker, Writer, TV Host

Company Name: Daniluk Consulting

Website: http://www.juliedaniluk.com/, http://www.ownca.oprah.com/Shows/Healthy-Gourmet.aspx

To get the most from The Invisible Mentor Interview with Julie Daniluk, while you are reading it, answer the following questions:

Are their similarities between the Julie Daniluk and yourself?
In what ways can you use the information?
In what ways would you respond differently from the interviewee?
What are your five takeaways from the interview?
After reading the interview, what is one concrete action you can take?

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Julie Daniluk: I’m a real foodie so I’m passionate about helping people have a connection to their food because it’s beyond food, it becomes every cell in your body, and it’s the building block that we use to recreate ourselves, and that’s why I’m so passionate about food. I’m a nutritionist, author about food, and TV host of the Healthy Gourmet for the Oprah Winfrey Network. I love food, and giving that information to the world. I define myself as a food advocate.

Host of Healthy Gourmet (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Julie Daniluk: I married my work with my passion so that there is no separation. There is no beginning of my workday and I have enrolled my husband in these awesome healthy ways that I have that team of contributions that he’s onboard that some days I have to work a 14-hour day. But instead of him becoming resentful of that he is right with me. On television days I used to have a personal assistant and instead of having a personal assistant, Allan has chosen to be with me on set. By removing the I’m on and I’m off stage, now I’m just in my flow and I have so much fun in both worlds that I’m able to be where I am and more present. Before, when I was at work I was texting family, and when I was with my family I was always working, so I’m trying to have more of an integrated life.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Julie Daniluk: I travel because I have to get out of my regular workflow. When I travel it’s a great opportunity to say the phone’s off, the email is off and really take time to be outside the regular life. I love to travel and I love photography and I love the ocean so I do a lot of scuba diving.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Julie Daniluk:

To breathe: I breathe every morning and every minute of the day. I breathe in the morning with incredible awareness, that’s my meditative practice. I breathe in for five seconds and I breathe out for 10 seconds. By counting my breath I become aware of my aliveness.
How you do anything is how you do everything: That’s a huge one for me because how I answer the phone, to how I was committed to being on the call with you right at 10 O’clock this morning, to how I respond when a waiter has come to the table with the wrong order, how I respond to that person and treat them with love and respect plays out into every area of my life. I realize that we are in one big sandbox.
Connect and be the cause in the matter: If you have a complaint, get underneath the complaint and decide what you are committed to, and be the cause in the matter to shift that so that you’re never feeling like a victim in any circumstance.
The love you make is equal to the love you receive: The love you make is equal to the love you take is a quote taken from the Beatles song The End.
Be authentic: If you can be with someone, and let go of looking good, and let go of trying to do it right, then often you can stand in present with them. And in that presence is life. It’s really what you came for.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Julie Daniluk: They come to me at really funny times. I actually get most of my great ideas in the shower. I try to capture them on my phone or in my day timer the second I get out of the shower. I have a master board in my office which is a large piece of paper. I used to work with a white board but I really like the paper because I like scratching off when I have fulfilled my goal. On that master board I write down any project I want to be doing and then the action points within that project and that means that I don’t have any major thing fall out of existence. So the second you generate that idea how do you bring it into existence because people have brilliant ideas every day.

I also got this idea from Joni Mitchell. I was sitting in a restaurant and two tables over she was celebrating her birthday with her daughter, and she wanted to smoke a cigarette, and she turned to me and said, “Do you have a problem with cigarettes?” And of course the answer is, “Yes, I have a problem with cigarettes,” but I’m not going to have a problem with Joni Mitchell, so I said, “Go ahead.” And she was so happy that I allowed her to smoke in a restaurant which is highly illegal in Toronto so she invites me over to her table and I had an opportunity to ask her a few questions, and the biggest one I asked her was, “How do you generate great ideas?” She is the most prolific artist I have ever thought of, and she said, “I don’t care if it happens while I’m sitting having the most important conversation with the president, I excuse myself, and I jot it down in my personal journal, while going to the washroom. I always excuse myself.” She writes down her idea in her journal, and that’s what helps to put it into existence.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Julie Daniluk: My favourite quotation is from Nelson Mandela’s inaugural speech. It from Marianne Williamson, and it’s “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I’ve had this quote in my day timer, on a poster in my office. I constantly go over it so that I can help myself get out my own way because this is the most powerful thing you can remember, is that we are powerful beyond measure.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Julie Daniluk: My definition for success is being free to choose your life. A lot of people think of success as the amount of money they have. But money is just the grease of life. The grease is the wheels so that you’re able to choose faster. My formula for success is to build a team, to commit to your world and to have compassion for other people. That team has built my success and I realize that I’m successful because of the incredible affinity I have for the people around me that I love.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Julie Daniluk: This comes from Malcolm Gladwell. One of my favourite books in the world is Outliers: The Story of Success and it speaks to what it takes to be the most successful person in your field, and it takes 10,000 hours. So once you become relaxed in your understanding that it takes 10,000 hours to become brilliant at anything, then you just clock the hours. So I’ve been working in the nutrition field for 16 years so I’ve gone past my 10,000 hours, and just putting one hour after another, is like one foot after another – just clock the hours, just clock the hours. And you will make a breakthrough because the winner is often the last person standing in the field. It’s not often the person who is naturally, brilliantly gifted at something. It’s the person who is willing to stay on the field long enough to win the game.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Julie Daniluk: Immerse yourself in the one area that you want to become highly successful at because we are a generation of wanting to do everything instead of mastering one thing. To get 10,000 hours you have to choose a focus. My focus is food so whatever your area is that you want to focus on, immerse yourself in that completely.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Julie Daniluk:

I would love to speak to Gandhi, and I’d love to ask him how he was able to deal with nonviolent communication. I’m still working on being a master of compassion, and to sit with him would be a great honor.
I would love to meet Malcolm Gladwell. I feel he is one of the most amazing storytellers. Let’s face it, our lineage of understanding is through storytelling from the dawn of time, and I want to become of the world’s best storyteller. I think he is absolutely brilliant.
Michael Pollan is one of my favourite food authors and he is such an incredible investigator. I would love to ask him about nutrition in a deeper way because in his book, In Defense of Food, he actually doesn’t like nutritionists that calculate the calories, fat and the nutrition of the food. He wants people to focus on a more simplistic model. So I would love to be able to ask him how I can be a holistic nutritionist who can do my job, but to bring that beautiful context that he really adds to the table which is to let go of the numbers and just commit to real food for a change.
I would love to meet Oprah Winfrey. She is one of my greatest mentors. She stands for so many things that I believe in. If I had a chance to really talk with her, I would say, “How do you handle the rigors of your schedule and always appear to be grateful for every conversation you’re having.” When you go into the public eye, now that I’m a public figure, there are days when people ask you questions that pull energy, and you want to remember at every moment that to give is to get. I could use some words from Oprah to really handle that.
I would love to speak to Nelson Mandela because I want to know how he was able to be trapped in a cell for all those years and come out building alliances with people who put him in jail.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Julie Daniluk: The deepest book I have ever had the chance to read is by my yoga master, Swami Satyananda Saraswati, and it’s A Systematic Course in the Ancient Tantric Techniques of Yoga and Kriya. That book has given me hours of peace, connection and serenity because there is a whole system of a 5000 year old tradition that allows you a way to connect with the higher power. I’m not a religious person, but I’m a person who believes in something beyond myself. This has been an incredible way to tap into that higher source of joy and love that has fueled my whole life. I have been reading this book for about eight years. It’s a massive textbook so you keep on referring to it. Those sorts of books fill me up because they feel like a huge labyrinth of information so you take yourself down different sections because you are ready for them.

Julie Daniluk:

Two Years

I would use the time to get into the best shape of my life and to have an incredible connection to the island life. I would allow myself time to slow down, for me to completely let go of my schedule and my expectations around what I need to accomplish in a day and be with nature. That’s something that presently on the track I am I don’t have, so it would be an absolute gift to have two years on an island.

Five Books

A Systematic Course in the Ancient Tantric Techniques of Yoga and Kriya
An Atlas because I would love to be able to study the world and understand the different pieces of the world and get related to the world as a whole.
I would take a book on anatomy because I would love to study the anatomy in incredible depth.
I would take an incredible survival book that allows you to survive outside, and it has 7,845 useful skills and step-by-step instructions. Everything you need to exist in the wilderness, and it’s called Survival Wisdom & Know How: Everything You Need to Know to Thrive in the Wilderness from the editors of Stackpole Books, and it’s a complete practical volume. It’s everything you have ever wanted to know about survival.
The last one would be a book of cooking terms and there are some really great ones. One of the best ones is Larousse Gastronomique: The World’s Greatest Culinary Encyclopedia, Completely Revised and Updated and it’s the world’s greatest culinary encyclopedia.

One Movie, One Music CD

The movie that I would take with me is Forrest Gump (Sapphire Series) [Blu-ray] because I can watch it over and over again where most movies you get exhausted so I wouldn’t want to take a heavy or depressing movie. I would love to take a movie that I could memorize and there are certain sections of Forest Gump that I would actually like to memorize because the wisdom that he has is just so authentic and fun and connected that I find it hilarious and uplifting. My favourite music CD of all time is Sting, Nothing Like the Sun album. Ever since I was 12 years old I have loved Sting so he is the one person I can listen to over and over again.

Forrest Gump Trailer (Movie release: July 6, 1994)

Cannot view this video? Click here. Uploaded by MickeyToss on Feb 11, 2007

Sting – Be Still My Beating Heart

Cannot view this video? Click here. Uploaded by StingVEVO on Jan 11, 2011

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Julie Daniluk: Connecting to people. That’s the most exciting thing for me.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Julie Daniluk: I nurture by soul by getting very still because the rest of the day I’m moving very quickly. When I can be exceptionally still, I can get in touch with something so much greater, and I start to lose the actual boundaries of my body and feel connected to everything in the world.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Julie Daniluk: I would wish that every person would know that they are actually everyone else in the world. I would remove that mental boundary of people feeling isolated and have everyone relate to everyone else as themselves because if we could have everyone understand that I am You and You are Me, then we would have no war, we would have no greed, and we would have no poverty. I feel that all of the world’s problems would be solved if we could truly lift that selfish ego that thinks that we are just ourselves – that we’re one body moving through space with needs.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Julie Daniluk: I’m happy when connected.

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Mentor Yourself: Interview With Maggie Berry, Women in Technology Part II

Avil Beckford — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 10:29:00 +0000

Invisible Mentor: Maggie Berry

Company Name: Women in Technology

Website: http://www.womenintechnology.co.uk/

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Maggie Berry: I run an organization called Women in Technology based inLondon and our strategic aim is to increase the number of women who are working and achieving in the UK’s technology profession.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Maggie Berry: I keep them quite separate. I spend a lot of time on work, but I keep my connections separate. But some of the ladies I’ve met, and have grown to know over the last few years are beginning to become more like friends, and it’s just a fantastic feeling.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Maggie Berry: With my boyfriend, with my friends, with my family. I like traveling, going away at weekends and I like history. I read the BBC History Magazine and I love it. I read it cover to cover every month. I read a lot of historical novels – I like imagining how we lived, understanding all the things that got us to where we are now in society.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Maggie Berry:

Network, network, network.
Have a mentor.
When offered a job, negotiate the salary. Men negotiate and I don’t believe that it comes as naturally to women.
Life is short and time runs away with you so make time for friends and family.
You spend a lot of time at work so you have to do work that you enjoy and that gives you satisfaction. If the role you’re in doesn’t offer enough scope for that, get involved in other things – volunteer on committees and charities and find satisfaction from other things if your job isn’t able to offer that. Not every job can give you satisfaction on a day-to-day basis but there are other ways to get a sense of getting involved and giving back.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Maggie Berry: I get ideas from everything that comes at me. I read a lot and if I see things that look good, I wonder how we might be able to replicate them. I share ideas, get ideas from the team, from other activities that are going on all over the place and I jot them down and email them to myself and then we work out how we might be able to develop them into something – something more concrete.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Maggie Berry: One I hear a lot that I like is Madeline Albright’s quote that “there is a special place in hell reserved for women who don’t help other women.”

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Maggie Berry: Success is different for everyone. There is so much discussion now about increasing the number of women on boards and in senior roles, which is brilliant but the fact is, only a very small percentage of anyone (men and women) are going to reach board level because there just aren’t that many board level positions available generally. So I believe that we need to make sure we’re providing for the women who are working at all levels – we need to provide resources and support for everyone because success is different for everyone.

For me personally, success is taking pride in the brand we have developed at Women in Technology and the activities that we deliver and making sure that everything that we do is of really good quality. So when people come along to our events, even if they’re free, it’s important to give great value to them.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Maggie Berry: I have worked for the same organization since 2000 – it’s a really great firm and when they offered me the Women in Technology project, I grabbed that opportunity with both hands. I also always try to approach work as positively as possible to make sure that I get as much from it personally as the business gets from it. I acted on the opportunity to manage Women in Technology – a few years ago when this was quite young, this was a huge opportunity and I still think this is a huge opportunity. We still have so much more to do and I’m looking forward to that because it’s exciting!

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Maggie Berry: Accept that there is a lot to learn all of the time. There are people sitting around you who will have a lot of skills and experience that you can learn from. Get involved so, for example, if you work in a large organization and they’ve got a women’s network, get involved, check it out, see if it will work for you. If you get the opportunity to move forward with different projects, be nominated for an award or speak at an event, don’t play things down, go for it and take advantage of all the opportunities that come up.

And remember that the career you’re in at 21, won’t necessarily be the job that you’re doing when you are 31 or 41. We have accept that we’re probably going to be working until our mid to late sixties so I potentially have another 30 years to work, and I can do loads of things during that time. So just remember that none of the decisions that you make are binding and everything can be changed.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Maggie Berry:

Queen Elizabeth I: I would like to get an understanding of how she operated in that very male Tudor environment and how it was to be one of the first female leaders whose reign lasted a very long time. We’d had a female queen before her but Elizabeth had an amazing reign and I would like to know what her tips for success were.
Marie Antoinette: From her childhood inAustria to coming into the French court and just what it must have been like to have lived atVersailles. What was her life really like? I’d be interested to know if she had any insight into what was coming with the French Revolution.
Mary Queen of Scots: I’d love to know what she was thinking. She is an interesting character because she was going to be the Queen of France but then the Dauphin died unexpectedly and the whole life that she’d been groomed for changed and she was just a teenager.
Catherine of Aragon: I would like to find out if she did actually consummate her relationship with Prince Arthur as that was the whole question that precipitated the creation of the Church of England and the breakup from the Catholic Church which was a huge schism in English society. I’m sure she wouldn’t tell me because she wouldn’t tell anyone but it would be amazing to know whether that happened or not because obviously it had a huge impact on British life.
Queen Victoria:

I am interested in strong women in history. These women were doing amazing things. These women were famous during their time but there were also loads of other normal women doing amazing things as well.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Maggie Berry: I have read lots of historical novels because they are so interesting to me – it relates back to my love of history and understanding how we live. I loved Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray and I happened to read a very old copy of it which was about 100 years old. It was very small with very thin pages and I’d just moved to London and the book is set in London at the time of the Napoleonic War and here was me, in 21^st centuryLondon, reading aboutLondon in 1815, and learning about all the things that happened on the streets where I was, and I absolutely devoured it. It was amazing and I really enjoyed it. I honestly don’t have one favourite book, but that would be among my Top 10.

Maggie Berry:

Five Books

The Bible
War and Peace (Oxford World’s Classics)
In Search of Lost Time: Proust 6-pack (Proust Complete)
(only because it’s one of the longest books written so that would take up some)
Note book for writing in
Scrap book that I can keep anything interesting in.

Film: My favourite film when I was young was Pretty in Pink with Molly Ringwald so I’d probably take that as I can’t think of anything else!

Pretty In Pink (1986) – Trailer

If you cannot view the video, click here.

Music CD: I’d probably choose something that’s rousing that I could play at full volume to give me a bit of a buzz.

How I’d Spend My Two Years: In my suitcase, I’d have a laptop, electricity generator and some thing that could give me access to WIFI and I’d spend the time looking up ‘stuff’ that’s interesting to me – so probably about the history of peoples all around the world.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Maggie Berry: All the possibilities, thinking about all the stuff that we don’t even know yet and meeting people.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Maggie Berry: Friends and family, keeping grounded.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Maggie Berry: I’d like to remove war from the world. There are many wars between religions and I’d like religions to live happily together. We can have our own beliefs, one belief isn’t better than another, and consequently there’d be no “you don’t believe what I believe so I’m going to kill you”. The death and destruction of war is awful.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Maggie Berry: When I’m at home chilling out and relaxing. I’m happy when I’m at the end of an event that we delivered that was great. I’m happy when I’m with friends and family. And I’m happy when I’m beside the seaside.

Video Credit: Uploaded by OldSchoolTrailers on Nov 6, 2010

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The Chief Mentoring Officer Interviews Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay, Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 10:30:57 +0000

Interviewee Name: Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay

Company Name: eBay EU

Website: http://www.ebay.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Image via CrunchBase

Annemie Ress: I’m South African by birth and grew up there. I studied law, worked in Switzerland for a short while and have been living in the United Kingdom for the past 13 years. For the past 13 years I have worked for Pepsi (for a short while because I worked for them in South Africa). I also worked on the trading floor for the International Petroleum Exchange and since then I have been working at eBay. I have had multiple careers at eBay.

I’m totally passionate about diversity, positive psychology, human rights and I just did the New York Marathon with my husband.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Annemie Ress: I’m not going to lie to you, it’s very hard working for an American corporation, working in an environment that we work in now, I’m not great at integrating my personal and professional life. Although I say all these things, and the reason why now is so important to me as a concept, is I feel I’m always rushing. I started doing yoga with my husband a year ago, and hatha yoga has been fundamental in terms of transforming and just bringing a sense of calmness into my life. And again surrounding myself with diverse people. I make sure that I also read a very diverse range of material, and I constantly listen to diverse conversations, articles and podcasts so in that way I do fun things, but sometimes they are professional things that contribute to my work-life but I do them while I’m walking. Or I learn while I’m out exercising. I’m not great at it but that’s how I try to connect and keep both parts going.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Annemie Ress:

Don’t be afraid of the unknown.
Surround yourself with people who are very different from you – people who you do not think you have anything in common with.
Live in the now or try to live in the now.
Have compassion.
Realize that not everything is black and white. Grey is an interesting colour.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Annemie Ress: I don’t have a specific process. Most often when I’m not thinking is when ideas come to me. I will consciously try not to think about a challenge or a solution that I’m facing but switch to doing something creative or relaxing, and that’s when the best ideas come.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Annemie Ress: I don’t have one, there are so many and I think I’ll do an injustice by just choosing one. I’d say the one for today is “Honesty without compassion is cruelty.” I think the quote relates the concept that life is complex, and it’s not a set of rules by which we play – if you do A, B will happen. It really helps us to understand the full complexity of life.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Annemie Ress: I think success is very personal and I don’t think there is a formula for success. I can be very self-help-like and say this is the formula for success so read the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I think for me success is all about being able to go to bed at night and go to sleep feeling that you’ve had a fulfilled day and contributed in a small way to making the world a better place and I know that sounds idealistic, but I really mean that. For me, failure would be going to bed at night and not being able to say, “I showed compassion to someone today,” or I did something that was hard to do, but I did it in a way that helped someone to do something that was really tough.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Annemie Ress: Relationships and sponsorships and being authentic. It’s about building meaningful relationships with key opinion makers and stakeholders at all levels in your organizations. It could be with the person who brings you your coffee in the mornings, if you work in that type of environment. Or it could be with the security guard who is at the entrance when you come in to work, or the president of the corporation. But it’s not just about the relationships it’s also about celebrating the uniqueness in the other person and really connecting with them authentically. In my environment that’s the one thing I’ve tried consistently to do because it builds trust, integrity and respect and that stands you well in both good and bad times.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Annemie Ress: Be brave and don’t think that you have to have a planned journey in life. Go a little bit with the flow and be open to what may come your way, and unexpected things will happen.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Annemie Ress:

I’d like to meet some evil people because I want to really understand their minds, I think that would be interesting because I cannot understand how one can commit some really commit some horrendous things, whether it’s Stalin, Hitler. I would try to understand how their minds worked. One could say they’re delusional but who knows. I just don’t understand that level of evil. Out of the two I think I would choose Stalin because so much has been written about Hitler.
I’d like to meet Mother Teresa because I know she’s had moments of doubts – I read that in a book recently – in her life and faith and I find that really interesting.
I met Nelson Mandela briefly, but I would love to understand the compassion he could show after all those years in jail and the wisdom that he had.
I would love to meet someone who lived in the Middle Ages – people who were suspicious of everything, and believed in witchcraft. I would find it fascinating interacting with them.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Annemie Ress: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and the Power of Now
by Eckhart Tolle. Both those books impacted me. I have read all of Paulo Coelho’s books and I loved all of them. I love how he combines mystery, religion, magic and life experiences, challenge and it started with The Alchemist, and that unlocked my interest in him as an author. I find it a powerful story that never dates. And for the Power of Now, back to my earlier comment that we have nothing now but the second, what’s passed is gone, and we can’t ever be sure of what happens next, so value every minute that you have.

Annemie Ress: I have a Lisa Se Klavier CD of Afrikaans – which is my mother tongue – of folk music that is lovely poetry that I’d like to take with me. It’s about a girl who sits and plays the piano while the sun goes down in Cape Town. It’s absolutely beautiful. I love The Killing Fields as a movie and the books I would take:

The Alchemist
Power of Now
Blank book that I could write in. I love writing poetry and I would love to write a story. I’m trying to so about all my memories from childhood. Everyone says that, but if I had two years on an island I’ll take the blank book and do it.
I would like to take a Chinese language lesson book that teaches me how to speak Chinese.
A children’s story, something that makes me really happy, whether it’s Dr Seuss or something like that. That would keep me smiling in a fun and uncomplicated way.

During the two years, I would write the book and I would meditate, sit quietly and look at the waves, clouds, just calm down and breathe a lot, and practice everything I’m being taught in yoga. I would slow down and become in touch with my body, mind, and nature and really connect with who I am.

“Lisa se Klavier” – DOZI – Afrikaans Lyrics with English Translation

If you cannot view the YouTube Video please click here.

The Killing Fields Trailer

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Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Annemie Ress: The unknown, both the scariness and the excitement of it – we don’t know what will happen. I don’t know what’s ahead for me and I really don’t want to know.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Annemie Ress: I have to read more than one book at a time. Reading is absolutely critical. I love to listen to philosophical arguments, debates and podcasts and stay in touch with news in Africa, and without that I don’t feel alive.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Annemie Ress: I’d wish that my mother and my husband who are the most important people in my life would always be happy.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Annemie Ress: I have the freedom to do whatever I want to do.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

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YouTube Video Credit: http://www.youtube.com/user/Afrikitty, http://www.youtube.com/user/francesco99?feature=watch

The Chief Mentoring Officer Interviews Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay (theinvisiblementor.com)

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Interview With Invisible Mentor Jennifer Graham, Project Director, M. Moser Associates Ltd , Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 09:30:29 +0000

Interviewee Name: Jennifer Graham

Company Name: M. Moser Associates Ltd

Website: http://www.mmoser.com, http://www.lmnopnyc.org

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Jennifer Graham: I work as a project director for M. Moser Associates, a global firm with 650 employees worldwide, and I am one of 46 directors in the firm. Our work is primarily focused on corporate interiors. My role as project director is a combination of two roles – one is for projects and the other is having oversight for project staffing for the office. From a directorial standpoint I interface with the global directors for strategic process implementation and improvement across the firm.

I came to the USA specifically to study design, and I have a degree in interior design as well as an MBA. I was born in Barbados and lived there for 18 years. I came to the US 30 years ago – I am a single mom with twin girls.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Jennifer Graham: I do not separate the two. I find positions that have supported me where I am in life.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Jennifer Graham: With my girls – most likely reading together. It is my ‘daily down time’ even if it is only 10 minutes.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Jennifer Graham:

Patience
Accept others for who they are – if I don’t get on with them – move on.
I am not always right
The more I know the more I have to learn.
If I don’t like what someone has to say to me, first evaluate if it is a good critical remark, if it’s not, I ignore it and move on.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Jennifer Graham: Get away from my daily routine and then get enough sleep!

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Jennifer Graham: “Low aim, not failure is the crime.” It speaks for itself.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Jennifer Graham: Accomplishing attainable dreams early enough in life so that every day is a blessing and new experiences are pure icing on the cake. And the formula for success is:

Do what you enjoy
Gain respect
Have the experience of loving unconditionally and receive love unconditionally
Be recognized by your peers for contributions to one’s profession
Be able to pay your bills!

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Jennifer Graham:

Study, BFA.
Good positions and experience.
Very hard work.
MBA and other professional accreditations.
Being good at budgets, problem solving and a good leader.
Having my own high standards.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Jennifer Graham: Love what you do.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Jennifer Graham:

Elton John – thank you for the music
Michelle Obama – I am curious
Stephen Hawkins – I am awed
My future love – where have you been?
The fifth person would be someone who had influenced others without having known that what they did would have such a broad impact. And people who fall into that category could be Mahatma Gandhi, or Mother Teresa. They might not have expected that their lives would have had such an impact. There are also everyday people who have that kind of impact who may not go down in history but actually end up changing the path of others. I would want to pick someone I don’t know.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Jennifer Graham: The Encyclopedia Britannica. I could visit anywhere I wanted as a child (in my imagination) and it prepared me for my move to NY by taking the mystery out of foreign places but showing that everything is mysterious in a foreign place and I would never be at a loss to learn if I left Barbados.

Avil Beckford: If you were stranded on a deserted island, what are five books that you would like to have with you and why? Summarize the book in two sentences.

Jennifer Graham:

The Bible. Each time you read it you see something you have never seen before and I am not well read or well versed of the Bible.
Paradise Lost - the eternal story about the fall of man
A book of poems through the ages. For memory, rhythm, romanticism
Webster’s Dictionary
Ulysses (I have never read it!)

Avil Beckford: What one music CD and movie would you like to have with you (on the deserted island) and why?

Jennifer Graham: I would have to choose Bach’s Brandenburg concertos. The movie is a hard choice. Maybe the Sound of Music because of the scenery, humour, romance, love, the perseverance of the human spirit and music and dance.

Bach – Brandenburg Concertos No.5 – i: Allegro

If you cannot view the YouTube video, please click here.

The Sound of Music – Trailer, Please click here to view the YouTube video.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Jennifer Graham: Everything.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Jennifer Graham: Hug my children and be thankful everyday for all I have.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Jennifer Graham: To give myself enough time and resources to have time to focus on health each day of each week. I would manifest a personal trainer/chef.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Jennifer Graham: I am with my children and family.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

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YouTube video credits: Bacholoji, MoviesHistory

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Lally Rementilla, VP Finance and Administration, Nulogy Corporation Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 09:30:07 +0000

Interviewee Name: Lally Rementilla, VP Finance and Administration

Company Name: Nulogy Corporation

Website: http://www.nulogy.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Lally Rementilla: I’m a senior finance professional who has had a longstanding career in the technology and media industries. By day, and most recently, I’m about all things tech and digital, and by night I’m a mother with two young kids who is trying to have lots of fun with her kids along the way.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Lally Rementilla: Every so often, I would say every five years, I formulate a vision of myself and encapsulate it into a couple of words or phrase and make that the criteria by which I conduct myself. I’ll give you an example – back in the year 2000 I went through this exercise of identifying what that vision was going to be, and I called that vision Hip Accountant. Dare I say it was like a brand, though not necessarily The Brand, but it’s really that catchphrase of what I wanted to use as a criteria by which I was going to be conducting myself, and the criteria by which I made decisions whether they be for career, social or personal in nature, so I had Hip Accountant.

A couple of things contributed to creating that vision, at this point I had pursued and completed my CMA (Certified Management Accountant) designation so that’s the accountant piece. It was also around this time that I made the move from Lucent to Lavalife, and Lavalife was such a hip company with a great brand that encapsulated a lot of the values and personality that was in that Hip Accountant vision that I had. Personally I moved closer to the downtown area because I just wanted a lifestyle that fits with the vision that I had. And I also took on a lot of board memberships across a variety of different not-for-profits, but again to fulfill that vision I actually joined an arts board at that time, and getting the designation, moving to a company that was hip and happening, physically relocating myself and being involved in the community that was more related to the vision that I had, and was a way for me to integrate my personal life with all other aspects of my life. And to this day, I go about having that vision and basing the decisions of those criteria.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Lally Rementilla: Being a very busy working mother, I would say downtime is what I define as time for myself. There are three things that I do. Obviously, one of them is practicing my yoga. Another one is I read, so on a day-to-day basis I read light business biographies. When I need something that’s more escapist in nature I read a lot of chick-lit, and sometimes I cannot peel myself away from it because it is such a way for me to relax and unwind. The third thing I do is travel. Friends I’ve known since nursery school we have tried to make it a point to get together and do a Girl’s Weekend or Girl’s Week at least once a year.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Lally Rementilla:

Keep things simple. It’s the KISS mentality and something that I have learned that really works. I don’t think we achieve anything by making our lives complicated. I think it’s all a matter of keeping things simple and streamlined. I guess it’s the minimalist in me talking.
Don’t be too greedy. I’ve seen a lot of really bad decisions being made because of greed. Having lived in both a Third World country and a First World country has given me a real appreciation of the things that are really important in life and I shake my head every time I see decisions being made because of greed.
In taking risks, 99 percent of the time you have nothing to lose in doing something that’s risky in nature. It’s relative, and that’s the beauty in having lived in both a Third and First World country is that you see the perspective of what’s the worst thing that can happen in life. People are going around thinking that they have so much to lose and there is not a lot in life that we can lose except obviously life itself.
Network, Network, Network! The power of human relationships I found is something that’s fundamental to humanity itself. In whatever we do, we should always strive to build a network of people around us, again whether it be in our professional life or your motherhood or your personal life or your social life. I think it’s always of great benefit and great strength to us to have a network around us.
Location, Location, Location! Obviously it works in real estate, but I also think it works well in being able to identify opportunities. I’m a believer that things happen for a reason, and a lot of it is being in the right place at the right time.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Lally Rementilla: I tend to take a more creative perspective in idea generation and therefore when asked to come up with an idea, I always try to identify the most unique and out-of-the-box way of doing things. And I don’t limit myself, it’s a practice of doing self-brainstorming and I let my ideas and my imagination and my brain go without filtering and I let it come out because I know that eventually I’ll see the relationships and be able to connect the dots to generate something that’s great and will be relevant to the problem or issue that I’m needing to face.

Most often than not, I take my time on things, not to say that I don’t rush to make quick decisions. Ideas tend to be more organic in nature and sometimes ideas can just happen and therefore I always keep my mind thinking and open to generating ideas as I go.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Lally Rementilla: When I was in high school, I remember the second year I had a religion teacher because I went to a Catholic school. My religion teacher had always inspired us in different ways, taught us to look at the world in different and innovative ways and sometimes quirky ways. But when she gave us this quotation and the quotation by the way is “Collect then select,” she meant for it to inspire a generation of young women who were socially programmed to follow a particular path in life. But what she really inspired us to do was to collect, meaning to take the energy and the time and the opportunity to have as much opportunities as possible to be involved in something and to take the time to immerse ourselves in different ways and different walks of life, different perspectives of doing things, and then make a decision at the end that we’re going to be committed to.

The reason why she taught us this and the reason why this is something that’s resonating with me and I’m sure with some of my other classmates at that time was that she talked to us about this quotation in the context of dating where she said, “You’re young, you’re only in the second year of high school, try to meet as many boys and men as you can in your life then make a selection when you find “the one” and stick with that decision and then commit yourself to that person.”

I found that that perspective goes beyond dating and men. I think it’s something that can be applied in life in general.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Lally Rementilla: For me success is the ability for you to look yourself in the eye and say to yourself that you’ve maximized every potential talent or asset that you have within you to make a difference in the life of people and it doesn’t necessarily have to be all the people in the whole country. But at least you’ve made a difference in at least one other person’s life. This is a definition that transcends the business world, so it can be applied in a personal or social setting.

As far as the formula to achieve success is concerned, the first is the relentless pursuit of excellence and not settling for what you have, and trying to use your talents for the greater good. There is a lot of hard work associated with this, especially people who are overcome with a lot of challenges have to work extra hard to address those. Integrity I think is going to be very key, it’s staying true to yourself because when you are there maximizing your potential, your assets, your talents, it’s essentially working with one main ingredient and that’s your integrity and you’re going to have to be happy in a very deep way with all the decisions that you make in order to achieve the success.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Lally Rementilla: The step I tend to take is to constantly be learning and to do that both formally whether it’s achieving a designation or informally. When I graduated from university I had a BA, but as I worked I took my MBA part-time. I did a CMA designation and I pursued a lot of other training opportunities that my organizations had supported me with. And there is also informal training whether it be immersing myself or taking on a very difficult assignment which I had no qualifications to do and that’s one way for me to learn.

The second step is to have a real strong support system both in business and in my personal life.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Lally Rementilla: I alluded to that earlier, which is when you start out, take time to identify your strengths. If you take my advise to play with your strengths, and collect and select which is my favourite quotation, if you put them all together, I think that’s the perfect recipe for those starting out, which is you collect opportunities, you collect different experiences, and then identify your strengths, select them then run with them.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Lally Rementilla:

Warren Buffet: I believe he is one of the world’s greatest investors and one of the most down-to-earth persons that I know. I would ask him if he could take the time out to help me pick some stocks for my kid’s portfolios so they are pretty much set to go.
Isadore Sharp the founder of Four Seasons: I would like to let him know that I really appreciate his vision in putting the level of customer service as something that’s key to building a successful business.
Vincent van Gogh: I had a chance to visit the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam last March and I think it was a big loss to the art world for someone like him who was so driven and talented to have such a short and limited time as an artist. I would tell him that I greatly admire what he achieved in the little time that he had.
Arianna Huffington: I would tell her she is one of the most fearless people that I know.
Sheryl Sandberg: I would invite her and say, “You go girl, you define what it is like to be a female in technology.”

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Lally Rementilla: A lot of the business biographies that I read have had an impact on me, but if there is one that has made a practical impact in my life, it would be Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi, which is a book about networking. I also think it’s a book about humanity, relationships, having personal values and living and integrating your life. What I liked about the book, is first of all it was practical in nature, but it was also a great success story, and it taught me to be more fearless. It taught me to reach out to people more in my career. I borrowed it from the library and I loved it so much that I bought it and bought a second copy just in case I need to lend it to someone for their own inspiration.

Lally Rementilla: I would spend the two years trying to get off the island.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Lally Rementilla: I think of life as an opportunity for us to make changes, and the ability to change things within the sphere of influence that you have and be able to change that sphere of influence as well as you grow.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Lally Rementilla: I have a very deep Catholic background so I pray a lot. I also try as much as possible to talk to my kids because talking to kids and seeing the potential in them, and seeing the way they view the world I think is something that can ground people and make them feel really good about themselves, and it really nurtures your soul.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Lally Rementilla: I have been working with so many spreadsheets in my life that I would wish for a perfect vision to last me for the rest of my life.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Lally Rementilla: I make someone laugh!

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Chris Kulbaba, Career and Employment Counsellor, Resume Writer, Facilitator, Public Speaker & LinkedIn Entrepreneur Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 09:30:13 +0000

Interviewee Name: Chris Kulbaba, Career and Employment Counsellor, Public Speaker

Company Name: London Employment Help Centre

Website: http://linkedinheavyweight.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Chris Kulbaba: I consider myself to be first and foremost a family man so that’s really my focus. I have six children between my partner and I so family is very important. The next thing is that I consider myself to be a helper and a collector. I was told very recently that I collect people and information, and I thought that was a very appropriate description of me. And the last thing is I consider myself to be a social media fanatic – I love that stuff.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Chris Kulbaba: I try to keep portions of my personal life very private, however, I also try to keep pieces of my personal life very public. As I’m facilitating I do some self-disclosure. I want to build rapport and trust, and as a mentor, if I’m willing to share some of my struggles and admit some of my own mistakes I truly believe that that lets other people know that everybody makes mistakes, everybody learns through this process and as I give people pieces of personal information I’m sharing with them but I want to keep some pieces of my life private.

As an example, if I’m going to the beach I would not necessarily tweet that I’m going to the beach. I would just go to the beach.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Chris Kulbaba: I’m an enquiring, extroverted, feeling perceptive, so if anyone is familiar with the Myers Briggs dichotomy I love learning so figuring out how to do something a little bit better or to involve myself in learning is what I like to do. I have several clients who are Spanish so I have been teaching myself how to speak Spanish. I can speak a little bit of Spanish but I’m learning as I go.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Chris Kulbaba:

Everyone that you meet is fighting some sort of battle. So remember that and just give them some patience.
The more that you give away, the more that is going to come back to you. I never set out on any activity wondering what’s coming back I just concentrated on helping other people.
Everybody perceives things their own way. That’s fine! Just because I see something and I am happy about it and someone else sees something and is not, I don’t have to go and fix that.
There is always something to learn: There are always teachable moments around us and you just have to be open to them.
You never ever laugh too much

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Chris Kulbaba: I listen. I listen to other people and ask them “what’s a challenge you are having?” I ask them “what’s going on right now that’s really frustrating to you?” because a real motivation for me is to help people. For me to have a great idea, if I have a great problem and I can meet with someone to discuss things then we can bounce ideas off each other, that’s how I generate great ideas is trying to think of ways to help other people.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Chris Kulbaba: My favourite quotation is a Nigerian proverb, “It doesn’t matter what you are called, it only matters what you answer to.” The reason I really like that one is that it talks about how you define yourself. It doesn’t factor in very strongly for me what other people want to call me, what resonates with me internally is what I decide I am going to answer to.

I also like “Beer is proof that God likes us,” I guess I really like beer. And that’s by Benjamin Franklin.

Note from Avil: The quote about beer is a common Benjamin Franklin misquote. What Franklin said was, “Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards, there it enters the roots of the vines, to be changed into wine, a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy.” Source: http://urbanlegends.about.com/b/2008/09/15/misquote-ben-franklin-on-beer.htm.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Chris Kulbaba: I define success by when I am networking, or working with someone, how much success do they feel that they got. So as we are working together, their success is my success. If they are working to get another job, working to increase market share, get more clients, that’s where I perceive my niche, my superpower for a better word is collaborative success. In my opinion, the formula for success is to listen twice as much as you speak. I’m not arrogant enough to think that I have all the answers so I have to ask questions to figure out what is the root issue so that we can grow and be successful.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Chris Kulbaba: The first thing I did was find a mentor in the field. I asked around about who I should be following and when the same name kept on coming up again and again I approached that person and asked to get some advice on what he thought was best for me. I followed the advice then went back and asked for more. I also asked if there was anyone else who would help me out. They gave me a few contacts so I set several daily goals, weekly goals, monthly goals and long-term goals.

As I met one of those goals I re-evaluated to see what my next steps would be. The steps I took to succeed were putting all the pieces into place.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Chris Kulbaba: Think about what you do that other people say, “You made that look so easy.” Think about something you do, either at work or at home that you enjoy doing. Take a moment out of your day, sit there, close your eyes and think back to a story that you are really proud to tell somebody and think about what is involved, who is involved, and think if there is a way you can do this at work.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Chris Kulbaba:

The first person I would want to meet is Leonardo da Vinci. I have always been fascinated with Leonardo da Vinci because he was able to see so much hidden beauty. He was dyslexic but ambidextrous – he had a drawing of the submarine and the airplane as and the list goes on. One of the first questions I’d like to ask him is what motivates him, I’d like to figure that one out.
Another person I’d love to meet is Abraham Lincoln and I’d like to ask him how he felt about criticism, how he internalized criticism. He is a man who fought for what he believed in, the Proclamation of Emancipation. It took him years to get to the White House amongst a Civil War, mental breakdowns and other failures in business. He really had a dream and a vision.
Another person I would enjoy meeting is Benjamin Franklin. I think he had a very interesting life and I love many of his quotations – they seem very witty. He seems like a very amusing person and the one question I’d like to ask him is, “Knowing what you now know, nearing the end of his time what would he have done differently?”
I would like to meet Bill Gates for the simple fact that he had a real vision. He started Microsoft with software that he bought from somebody else. He started it by telling people he would do something that had never been done before, he didn’t know how he was going to do it but he just did. The only question that I’d like to ask him, “What made you say in those few moments that you could do something that had never been done?” How did he know that? How did he have that much vision inside himself, and who were his mentors?
The fifth person I’d like to meet is Oprah Winfrey. I would love to meet Oprah, talk about a force to be reckoned with. I think that she singlehandedly has changed millions of lives. She had a clear vision; she had a clear direction of what to do, but I think the only thing that I would really want to ask her is, “What’s next?”

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Chris Kulbaba: It’s not a big book. It’s not groundbreaking, but to me it was simply life altering. It was The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. This book is about a man who is dying from pancreatic cancer and is giving the last lecture of his life as a university professor. But the book is not a story about being sick or dying, it’s a story about the celebration of living life, always being willing to embrace change, being excited about who you are. I literally had to put the book down a dozen times because I was so emotionally involved in this book. It’s not a big book, it’s maybe 150 pages.

Last Lecture Revisited

If you cannot view the YouTube video please click here.

Chris Kulbaba:

Five Books

One of the books I would take is How to Learn Spanish in Two Years.
I would bring the Bible even though I’m not overly religious. I would like to read about several life lessons and I think the Bible has many good stories.
I would like to bring a scrapbook of my family and friends so that would be a memory book for me.
I would also like to take War and Peace which is a big book and I would bring it because it’s a literary classic. It might take me a while to read but I’ve got the time.
I think I would bring Tony Robbins’ Awaken the Giant Within which talks about how to be good to yourself, neuro-linguistic programming and stuff like that.

The movie I would have to bring is Cast Away with Tom Hanks. The music CD would have to be a mix of different music. I would like some quiet music, energizing music, and some music that’s just plain old fun, and maybe some music where my kids are singing a few songs.

Cast Away Official Movie Trailer

If you cannot view this YouTube please click here.

For the two years, I would practice my Spanish of course. The first thing I’d like to do is just spend some time every day to meditate, relax and realize I’m in a beautiful place. I don’t really need or want for anything and I would like to get to know myself. In my suitcase I would bring some journals and I’d like to write down my thoughts and I’d like to see if I could devise a schedule on what I’ll do when I get home. I’ve got $2 million so how am I going to spend it, what will I do? I would also spend some time daydreaming; that would be a fun activity.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Chris Kulbaba: Everything. Learning, learning, learning. There is always something to learn. There is always something to do. There is always someone to meet. Helping someone to be better than they are is exciting.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Chris Kulbaba: I play with the kids. I love goofing around with the kids. That’s a soul nurturing activity to be silly with the kids. I always try to find humor in everything I do. Not that I take life lightly, but there is always something to be grateful for and enjoy. The simple fact that I have a job and enough to eat puts me in the top 10 percent of the population in the world.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Chris Kulbaba: I think that I would wish for the ability to heal my partner from her chronic pain. She suffers from a car injury and has broken her shoulder twice. She lives in chronic pain all the time.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Chris Kulbaba: I’m happy when I’m helping other people. I’m happy when I’m helping someone do something that makes them feel good.

YouTube Video Credits: Wall Street Journal Digital Network

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews David Gray, Leadership Coach & Career Consultant Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 09:30:58 +0000

Interviewee Name: David Gray

Company Name: DSG Associates

Website: http://www.dsgassociates.ca

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

David Gray: The concept of integration is an interesting one. In my opinion, there can be no distinction between who you are as a business leader or as an individual on a personal basis. In other words, your ‘Self’ has to be an integrated whole. Otherwise, by definition it would be impossible to lead with integrity and conviction. However, one’s personal life is one’s own. In an era of celebrity worship this concept of the private Self can be a difficult one for some people to grasp. My solution is to advise people that I am available as a Coach during a quite broad number of hours. Beyond that, my time is my own.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

David Gray: I spend my down time reading, walking my dog, Eddie, and doing mundane household chores. I find all of these activities quite relaxing and conducive to engaging in a meditation of sorts.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

David Gray:

Be humble
Listen actively and intently.
Practise empathetic understanding.
Reflect intently.
Act decisively.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

David Gray: I try to cast a wide net in the initial research and planning phases and then take everything I have learned and turn it on its head. This combination of broad search and contrarian analysis tends to enable new and innovative thoughts to emerge.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

David Gray: “Seek first to understand and only then to be understood” from Covey’s “7 Habits.” I find that the world can be understood with any degree of accuracy only if one first casts aside one’s own inevitable prejudicial perspectives.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

David Gray: Success for me is defined in terms of relationships. One is successful if one tries to give back to others more wisdom, more empathy and more joy than one takes for oneself. We do not define our own reputation, our personal brand. Other people do this for us. And so, if our self-awareness and our reputation are to have any real congruency, then success can only be defined on a social rather than an individual basis. Our success is inextricably entwined in what we give to others and what we share of ourselves with others, rather than what we take for ourselves and what we hold on to of ourselves solely for our own enjoyment.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

David Gray: I worked, and continue to work half days. Sometimes it’s the first half of the day, sometimes the second. Sometimes I break the day into quarters. But I always try to work at least 12 hours a day. Except on Sundays. Then I generally only work six hours or so. In other words, I worked hard and continue to do so. However, one can only really work hard on a sustainable basis if one truly enjoys the work. So the first key is to identify your life’s work, your true mission or ‘vocation’ as it used to be called. After all, each of us is only here for a very brief period of time.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

David Gray: Figure out what you want to do in the way of a career. Meantime, while life throws other opportunities your way – which probably on the surface appear to have very little to do with that desired career – work like the devil himself to succeed at whatever work you are doing at any given time. There is no such thing as bad honest work. Nor is there any such thing as undignified honest work. So work hard and prosper.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

David Gray:

Sir Winston Churchill: Thank you, thank you, thank you Sir, for staying the course throughout the wilderness years when lesser men succumbed to grovelling group think.
Robert E. Lee: What were you thinking when you decided in favour of the Southern cause? Far too many men died and far too much unnecessary suffering was caused by this fatally flawed decision which prolonged the failed Southern War of Secession.
Prince Charles Stuart: Stay in France. The Highland Scots have sufficient problems without your intrusion into their already difficult lives.
Julius Caesar: Beware the Ides of March!
Socrates: Just drink the damn hemlock old man! You have poisoned enough young minds with your hypocritical musings – and will continue to confuse a sufficient number of older ones over the course of human time.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

David Gray: Joseph Campbell’s, The Hero with a Thousand Faces. This book brought me face-to-face with human mortality and our shared human journey, thus making clear the urgent need to become oneself, identify and follow one’s own ‘bliss’ and make a contribution to the human family, regardless of how humble or great that contribution might be.

David Gray: The movie would be, The Natural. I would seldom watch the film as I have already seen it at least three times. But it would act as a constant reminder to focus on whatever is both relevant based on my own gifts and yet ‘doable’ based on circumstances at any given time. The five books would include The Cat in the Hat by Dr Seuss so as to retain my sense of humour; Cervantes, Don Quixote (Penguin Classics) to ensure that I remember the absurdity of civilization; Foucault’s History of Madness so as to understand the process as I would surely go slowly quite mad; Kodokan Judo: The Essential Guide to Judo by Its Founder Jigoro Kano to give me a structure that might enable me to retain some degree of physical fitness, as well as the anthology, The Poetry of Robert Frost: The Collected Poems, Complete and Unabridged so as to nurture my soul even as my brain inevitably went a bit sideways.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

David Gray: The possibilities for self development and testing one’s own capabilities and limits.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

David Gray: Quiet reflection, exercise, and good wholesome food.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

David Gray: Enlightenment.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

David Gray: I am happy when…I am doing what I do best…practising Leadership Coaching.

David Gray: I am unusually direct in speech, as I consider trust to be a condition most quickly built upon a foundation of honest communication. At the same time, I take pains to be empathetic and non-threatening in my overall approach.

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Tracy Matthewman, Internet Marketer & Social Media Trainer, Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 09:30:04 +0000

Interviewee Name: Tracy Matthewman

Company Name: Tracy Matthewman, Network Marketing Sweetie

Website: http://www.TracyMatthewman.com, http://networkmarketingsweetie.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Tracy Matthewman: I come from a corporate IT background, so I worked in IT for 15 years. After I had my daughter I had an opportunity to stay home and work for myself so I jumped at the chance. I started off doing web and graphic design and within a year or so I quickly moved into the internet marketing realm. Marketing has always been a love of mine, and the fact that it was mixed with internet and technology was right up my alley, so that’s what I’ve been doing ever since.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Tracy Matthewman: I brand myself so my website is TracyMatthewman.com which is my name. You go on that site and you basically see a picture of me at the top and in the content I create, every thing that I do, I am basically just myself. I make videos and when I write I don’t worry about whether it’s perfectly grammatically done. Obviously I try to make it sound proper so people can understand it, and I pay attention to spelling errors, but when I write or go on video I talk as if I am talking to someone one-on-one.

As an example, I did a video on a tip that keeps my blogging regular, and my daughter was in my office with me when I was making the video. She was very quiet, over the other side sitting in a chair. Toward the end of the video she came and sat in my lap and I could have stopped the video and started again, but it’s really about me and part of me is that I have a daughter and I work from home, so I allowed that part of the video to continue. I continued to speak, I gave her a hug and she was in the video. It was bringing my personal life into my business to some degree. People know I’m a real person and they get to know and relate to me better.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Tracy Matthewman: My down time is on the weekends, Thursday and Friday nights. Weekends in the summer, most of the time we spend at our cottage, so I’m in the woods by the lake. I’m living in this little house that doesn’t have all the luxuries of a traditional house, so I am living more in nature, so that’s one thing I do in my down time. I read a lot of business books, which doesn’t seem like downtime but for me it is because I love learning, so if I’m learning something, I’m really happy.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Tracy Matthewman:

To be present. This is a hard one because we are always busy. My brain is always on overdrive, so when I’m talking to somebody, when I’m doing something, I’m trying to train myself to be in the present moment. So right now I’m in this interview, I’m focusing on my words, and I’m focusing on your words. I’m being present in this interview trying to give everything I can. When I’m talking to friends, I really listen to them. I pay attention and try to give as much good feedback or energy back into that conversation as possible.
Having balance is one I mentioned before, spending equal amounts of time in all areas.
Setting goals that aren’t too big. I have struggled with this one. I set a goal that’s huge because Donald Trumps says to think big. Thinking big is great but when you set a goal that’s so big and you don’t accomplish it, and you do it again and again you get really discouraged. So I’ve started to set smaller goals that are achievable but still a reach for me, but not so big that when I don’t get it I become disappointed because after a few times you start to think of yourself as a complete failure. So it’s important to set smaller goals whether they are weekly monthly or even yearly. If you are only making $50,000 and you want to make a million dollars by the end of the year, that’s probably going to be a stretch. Set realistic goals with a certain amount of reach that will make you stretch a little bit.
Choosing to be happy which I mentioned already. When you’re feeling miserable, one of the tips I heard from someone is to look up to the sky, or if you are not near to a window, look to the ceiling of your room and smile as big as you can. A big, huge smile on your face and just stare at the ceiling for five or 10 seconds and that will help you to instantly feel better. Choose to be happy instead of waiting to be happy is important.
Saying no to things that are just going to distract you. Pick one or two things to focus on, and this is in terms of business, anything else that comes up you have to say no to, so you focus on the one or two goals and get them to where you want them to be. Learning to say no is a huge life lesson for people to learn.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Tracy Matthewman: One thing I do is communicate with my audience quite a bit, and I also ask them questions. I can do surveys or I can just look at their feedback. I always encourage comments on my blog, and so with that I get ideas. I also look at trends that are happening in the market place, and I listen to what other people are saying, and what other people are doing, and I look for trends in those types of activities.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Tracy Matthewman: “Be the change you want to see in the world” by Gandhi. This is ultimately my favourite quote because there are so many things in the world that I wish I could change, and the first step to changing them is by changing my own actions.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Tracy Matthewman: Success to me is the three areas that I previously said. In the wealth area, you have to be happy with the amount of wealth you have in your life. It’s not the first thing or the priority. In this country that we live in, this area of the world, if you don’t have a lot of money you may struggle, and a lot of money is relative. But if you do not have a lot of money, you’re unable to help other people as well. One thing I truly believe in is that if you have the capacity to make more money to help more people, I feel it’s the obligation of the individuals who have the capacity to do that – to put out into the world what they can, to get back so they can help people who may not have the opportunities that you or I or other people listening may have.

We have a lot of capabilities and just sitting back and watching those talents go to waste, you’re not helping anybody, and you’re not helping yourself, or the planet. Health is also a big thing because if you have all the wealth in the world and your health is terrible, what kind of life is that? But if you have your health and no money, that’s not much fun either. The last one is happiness and that’s where other aspects come in like balance, less stress, being emotionally and mentally stable, being spiritual and giving back, all those other things that are more for the soul. I think those are the three main things we should focus on in balancing our lives and when we do that our lives will be filled with abundance.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Tracy Matthewman: Ongoing learning and doing. I’m a doer and usually when I go to any training program, or buy a new training program, I’m drooling at the mouth to start learning it and then when I’m done, and usually before I am done, when I’m going through chapters and modules I usually implement things right away. The step is to first learn how to do something and then implement it right away. If and when you fail, learn from your failures and implement again. That’s the only way you’re going to get better.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Tracy Matthewman: Find something you love doing and figure out a way to make an income from it. And incorporating that with giving back to the world, we should be helping people or helping the planet. If I look at my own story, I love marketing and I love technology, and I’m a logical thinker. I come from a programming background, to take that element of my natural talent, combine it with marketing which is something that I really love, and combine that into a business that helps people. It doesn’t matter what your love is, somebody is out there being successful doing it, so it’s just a matter of figuring out what that is and how to do it.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Tracy Matthewman:

Albert Einstein because he was one of those people who was looked at by society as a little bit crazy, yet he turned out to be brilliant and changed the course of humanity.
There are some other people who again when they first came out with ideas they were often looked at as out of the norm of society and those are the types of people who create revolutions and transformations on the planet. I would say something to those types of people and it would be, “Thank you for being you! Thank you for being unique because your uniqueness changed the world.”

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Tracy Matthewman: There has been a lot just looking at my library right now. One book which had an impact on me is UnMarketing: Stop Marketing, Start Engaging by Scott Stratten. That was an excellent book and I realize that today’s marketing arena is so much more personal. It’s not the advertising it’s more based around a relationship experience or a personal touch. That book brought that home for me.

Another book I read a long time ago is The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari: A Fable About Fulfilling Your Dreams & Reaching Your Destiny. That book started me on the personal development road and it made me think differently because before that time in my life I was brought up as an average thinking person who didn’t have any sort of personal thoughts going on in her head. I led a fairly normal life. My parents weren’t necessarily all that encouraging of me to do whatever I wanted to do in life. It’s was “why don’t you become a secretary?” There was nothing really inspiring in my life. That book completely changed the way I think and the way my life was responding to my thoughts.

Note from Avil: I have changed this question a lot, so Tracy’s response is to one of the many iterations of the question.

Tracy Matthewman: I would make a little hut, have camp fires every night, eat coconuts and bananas, make friends with the monkeys, braid my hair, soak up the sun, walk barefoot on the sand, make or build something that took a long time because if I’m going to be there for two years I need something to keep me going for a while so I don’t get bored – something intricate and detailed.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Tracy Matthewman: What excites me is change. I love change and one of the things that I definitely want to do before 2014 is to move to another country. I have set that date for myself. To me, that’s a big change, and it excites me. For some people, those types of change are way too scary. So I love change and I love new things, and obviously those are closely related.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Tracy Matthewman: Recently with meditation and reading books that help me to get to know myself better, and also taking part in activities that are helping my personal mission in life. I mentioned my favourite quote, “Being the change you want to see in the world,” so I nurture my soul by being that change.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Tracy Matthewman: I would use it to change the dream of the Western world because the Western world right now is into consumption, and we feel like we have to have all this stuff, and because of that huge demand for stuff, it’s actually destroying our planet. And if I could change one thing it would me that dream that everybody have this idea in marketing that tell us we have to have all these things. So if we could change that dream of consumption to something that would help the planet, that would be great.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Tracy Matthewman: At the cottage in the hammock looking at my daughter barefoot playing in the sand.

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