The Invisible Mentor

Posts Tagged ‘New York City’

On Wednesday and Thursday I present Mary Lou Fallis,  and on Friday, I present Lois Fallis, her mother. This is something I am experimenting with.

I am always changed by these interviews because I learn so much by and about the interviewees. In life we face disappointments all the time and it’s often been said that when one door closes another one opens. Mary Lou was in the finals for her auditions at the Metropolitan Opera in New York City but she didn’t win. It was a huge disappointment for her because she had to change her career path, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. As a result, that event gave her longevity, while most of her friends in the business are no longer singing and performing, Mary Lou is still having the time of her life. Read Mary Lou’s interview, I’m sure that you will learn a lot.

One of the things you’ll notice is that I am no longer focusing solely on just business people for the interviews. I think diversity is important, and I also think we can learn from others who are very different from us. After you have read and processed the interview, what are five lessons that you can learn from Mary Lou? How can you apply the information to your life?

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Mary Lou Fallis Tells Us About Herself from Avil Beckford on Vimeo.

What’s a typical day like for you?

A typical day for me today is much different than it used to be because I no longer have children at home. For 20 years I had to get the kids up and off to school, but now for a typical day my husband is going off to school in the morning. He used to be in The Toronto Symphony Orchestra but now he is taking an art course so he gets up and goes to school and I walk my dog Percy, which is a good way to start the day because I get out and meet a lot of people in my neighborhood. There is a gang of us who walk together. It’s always a nice way to start the day, it’s very social and I enjoy that.

When I return home I have breakfast and read the Globe and Mail from stem to stern, it takes about half an hour. I check my Facebook and email at about 10 am, and I take care of most of the personal stuff. And at about 10:30, I go into my office at Trinity St. Paul’s Centre for Faith Justice and the Arts. It’s my church as well, and I have a little cubby hole on the second floor where I have my books, my music and my files, a phone and computer so that I can service all the contracts that I have. A day might also involve talking to my agent. It could be talking to Canada Council about funding, or a choir director about a concert that I am doing. In could be doing things in my library in terms of making music files. I may be writing an article for a newsletter, or I may be updating my website, and I also teach. In a day I’ll teach two classes in the afternoon. Around 4:30 pm I go home and walk the dog again. Unless I am going out for the evening or having a concert, I have a cocktail with my husband around 5 o’clock and we sit there and talk about our day. His is often more interesting than mine because he is doing all this art courses and I guess what I also wanted to say is that I do not have any typical days.

How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

I think that it is fairly difficult particularly because you go through many periods in your life and your needs are different. Early on you are very hungry, very driven and have to make an income, and I think when you grow older, and I do not want to generalize, but your priorities change. I know that when my kids came along I was less eager to be away, and I started to do more writing, and there are times when you are not motivated, and you just feel as if you’re doing the same-old, same-old, doing the same concerts for the same people for the same audiences and you do not feel as if you are moving on. I find that new projects motivate me, and I find them for myself, and other times people ask me to do things. I think it’s very important as a freelance artist, by and large, is to keep yourself open to forces that might provide you with the impetus to create and move on, and that’s the only way to reinvent yourself. Look at Madonna, she is one of my heroes.

If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

I’m not sure that I would have done anything differently, although I think I would have concentrated on learning more languages. I would have loved to have a smattering of German, French, and Italian. I would have loved to be able to speak more, and be more fluent in a lot of languages because that gives you access to tons more cultural resources, and ways of knowing the world.

Also, I may have had more children because I come from a large family. I have only two kids and there are some wonderful things about larger families, and I think there is a false dichotomy with my generation of women that you should either have children or have a career, one or the other, so I was in the early stages of feminism so I felt that if I wanted a career I couldn’t have as many babies as I wanted to.

What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?

I think that I am coming to terms with growing older in terms of my own aging. I am now over 60 and it closes some doors for me, but at the same time I am coming to terms with it and it’s okay. One of the nice things now is that life is good. My husband left the Toronto Symphony Orchestra and is now a student, so our income is much lower than it used to be, and I am finding that less important because he is very happy. We’re comfortable and not suffering.

What’s one of the biggest advances in your industry over the past five years?

I would have to say social media and much more use of YouTube, the internet, iTunes and those sorts of things in dispersing and disseminating music. Classical comedy is what I do, and now you can do a concert by Skype.

What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

1. Aging, and we live in a youth culture
2. Non-live performances, in other words people are using more and more recorded performances, and I don’t mean the social media aspect. I am talking about things on video and television, or it’s not broadcast anymore, a lot of the stuff that I used to do for CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation). Luckily I am still working on things for CBC but a lot of people are not so lucky because frankly the broadcasters are using dead people’s music
3. Changing demographics: There is a shift in demographic of what people are listening to

I am handling these threats as best as I can, I need to do more video for myself. The stuff that I do lends itself to live performances, because it’s kind of like comedy. It’s so in the moment so live performance is best.

What’s unique about the service that you provide?

I guess it’s a service to make people laugh. What’s unique is that very few people in the world do what I do, which is make fun at, and satirize classical music. Not that many people listen to classical music, let alone make fun of it. And the people in the field have not had the extensive training that I have had in classical music. I’m the only one in Canada who makes fun at classical music, who is actually classically trained in music, and there are about three people in the US. There may be 10 or 15 people worldwide.

What do you observe most people in your field doing badly that you think you do well?

I think what I do, or try to do without being intrusive or sucky, is to connect on social networks with the younger generation. I think for a performer and a teacher, that it is very important to know what people between twenty and thirty are doing because that’s where most of the ideas come from. I have been very lucky because when I was on the board of the Laidlaw Foundation, we got plugged into a lot of very contemporary movements – hip hop literacy, and grassroots youth led things. I don’t think that the kinds of organizations that I work with, the Symphony, the Opera, these people are a bit stodgy when it comes to reaching out to the next generation and providing things that are interesting. One thing that I am quite proud of is  the kind of audiences that come to my shows. I have kids who come to my shows, and this makes me feel very good.

Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it.

I was in an audition for the Metropolitan Opera in New York City and was in the finals and didn’t make it, and that was a major disappointment for me because I thought that I was going there. I was really devastated that my career was going to take a different trajectory. My husband was not particularly supportive of me being away at that time, and he wanted kids and all of that, and I kind of realized right then and there that there would have to be some sort of shift in what I was going to do. So gradually over the next two to three years, I made this shift from doing opera to being in a chamber music group which was less demanding. To do an opera you are away for four weeks minimum, and it’s very hard if you have kids, unless you’re going to take them with you. I would go with this chamber music ensemble as a soprano and it was a lot of fun and I did that for a number of years.

When I was about 31 or 32, I was given an opportunity to write a comic and I thought, “I shouldn’t do this, this is awful, my colleagues won’t speak to me, it will be just terrible,” but I took the risk and did it anyway and that was a challenge to not only change my focus this much but to also make fun of what I had done. But what I realized is that when I went to write the comic, I’d always been doing just that, making fun of what I did. But that was a difficult thing for me to do. And I moved from straight stuff into comedy. And it has turned out to be more durable. Here I am at sixty and still performing, while all my singer friends are no longer singing and performing professionally.

What lessons did you learn in the process?

• I think that I have learned that you have to give yourself time to heal because you cannot pull up your socks and say, “well okay that didn’t work, I’ve been given lemons and I’m going to make lemonade.” You eventually do, but at the time it doesn’t feel like that. If you have the wherewithal you’ll recover.
• Life goes on and you bloom. “You end up doing what you do second best.” If you did what you do best all the time you’d be exhausted. You have a bit of room to maneuver if you do what you do second best. I believe that everybody finds their niche
• If you are going to be doing peak stuff, at a peak level, you have to be at the peak, and that’s why performers at the Met get paid so well because they have to be at their best all the time. You have to look physically good, be mentally sharp all those things, and I do not want to live like that

Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

I think it was the Met because I had gone so far in the auditions, which helped me to get hired her in Canada. And the other thing was the CBC had a big talent festival and I won that and it really was the biggest thing. It was around 1974, 75, 76, a good thirty years ago. When you get to that point people start to hire you.

I also did a reality show, Bathroom Divas (American Idol for opera singers and the person who wins gets to sing an aria with the Symphony) for Bravo Television about three years ago which gave me some profile and I won a Gemini Award for it. I did it for two seasons.

Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

I would say the biggest failure was the Met thing. The first year I was down there I got sick and wasn’t able to sing so they invited me back the next year, in that way it was the timing. It was like gearing up for the Olympics and you go and something happens like you get injured so you cannot compete and they tell you if you re-qualify you can come back the next year, but it isn’t the same.

I was still devastated when I didn’t go on to the finals. I don’t think that I learned any lessons from the experience because I was pretty bitter, mad, frustrated and it took me a long time to work through it, and then make fun of it. I did turn a failure into something successful and have been at it for 35 years.

What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

I was teaching at Queens University when I had my two children. When I had Ben, I took him down to Queens with me, and my sister looked after him at the house where she was living, when I was teaching. I did that for a 1 ½ years, then I got pregnant with Anna, and I felt that I couldn’t do it with two children, so I decided to leave my job at Queens. I could have had more of a career in academia if I had moved to Kingston instead of staying in Toronto, and I would have had much more to fall back on as an artist. I would have had a pension because they asked me to be Head of the Vocal Department two years after I had started teaching there. Eventually I got another teaching position at another university in London (Ontario), and I taught there for 10 years. My husband and children always drew me back to Toronto. So to answer your question, the toughest decision I ever made was to leave academia. Academia makes for lovely conditions for freelance artists who have their credentials together. They can have a steady supply of students and a steady income.

What are three events that helped to shape your life?

1. My grandfather’s death when I was 16. I was very close to him and I realized that the people you love are not with you forever.
2. Writing the show Primadonna, and having it orchestrated and put on at Roy Thompson Hall with the Toronto Symphony, and being able to tour across Canada was quite gratifying. To look out the window in Fredericton, New Brunswick and see on the marquis Prima Donna,  it’s narcissistic in a way, but quite pleasurable. It was playing your own life on stage for five years.
3. The birth of my children

What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

Writing the show Primadonna

Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the left side) by email or RSS Feed. I created a Mini Learning Toolkit and you can grab a copy by clicking here.

Today, I present 24-year old Nathalie Lussier. It’s the first time that I have interviewed someone so young, but I thought it important to bring you a diversity of voices. Open your mind, and see what you can learn from this young lady who is not only passionate about what she does, but is wise beyond her years. It was a pleasure to interview her because she is so thoughtful, and she was willing to answer questions which require the wisdom that comes with age. For instance, when asked, “If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?” she responded, “I would have started earlier to try to understand what people wanted, see what they had trouble with and help them in that area.” In my opinion, that’s good advice because we often create products that we think people should want, instead of what they actually want.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.  

I am known as the raw foods witch, and I help people to eat more fruits and vegetables. I have a background in software engineering and all of my nutritional knowledge is self taught based on the experience of the results that I have had eating this way.

What’s a typical day like for you?

I wake up and drink a green smoothie, which is basically fruit and green leafy vegetables. After that I work on the computer, and sometimes I go for a swim during the day because I like to break things up. I do more work on my computer and in the evening I have a big salad with my boyfriend Robin, and later read a book.

How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

I like to get feedback so when I hear that others are enjoying my work or getting a lot of results from what I am teaching, that propels me forward and motivates me.

If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

I would have started earlier to try to understand what people wanted, see what they had trouble with, and help them in that area.

What’s the most important business (or other) discovery you’ve made in the past year?

Making relationships a priority is the new way of doing business today. You can really connect with people online with tools like email, Twitter and Facebook. You can really get to know people and build relationships over time, and give them what they need instead of just pushing stuff in their direction.

What’s one of the biggest advances in your industry over the past two years?

In terms of raw foods, things are shifting away from being very strict, and moving toward welcoming everyone to try eating this way a little bit more.

What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

1. The first is time management. I would be reading email and responding to them then I click on a link in an email and all of sudden a lot of time has elapsed and I realize that I have not done any work. So what I do is frequently check the time and see how I am doing and ask myself if I have done what I said I was going to do by that time of the day and that is how I handle that threat.
2. Another threat I would say is misinformation. When people hear the term raw foods, they immediately think it’s all or nothing, but the way that I teach it is you can eat fresh fruits and vegetables and get the benefits from that. You do not have to be that strict with yourself.
3. And the third threat kind of relates to the first idea is that I have a lot of passion and am prone to go off on a tangent and do something new and different that does not necessarily relate to what I am doing right now. The way that I deal with this is to focus on what my goals are and where I am headed.

What’s unique about the service that you provide?

I like to make it fun, informal, down-to-earth and accessible to anyone who is remotely interested in getting healthier, and I like to deliver all my stuff online except for a few things that I deliver personally, which I enjoy. I love to do videos and recipes that are simple so everyone can get their hands dirty. And what’s really fun about the way that I teach things is that I am known as the witch so I like to bring in a special magic feeling to everything that I do.

What do you observe most people in your field doing badly that you think you do well?

Most people in my field do not have the type of technical background that I have so I am able to have interactive technologies and videos on my website and this may not be easy for them.

Describe a major business (or other) challenge you had and how you resolved it.

One of the challenges that I had in the beginning was getting people to visit my website and get interested in my services. I think that’s also a challenge that many people face. I resolved the challenge by writing something that really connected with my audience. In the beginning when I was writing articles, blog posts, I was really writing for myself. I was writing stuff that was useful for my colleagues and myself, but not useful to those who were new to raw foods. So just shifting to write about what raw foods is, and how you sprout your own nuts and seeds and dehydrate stuff has made a difference and my business took off.

What lessons did you learn in the process?

I learned to really listen to my people and when I had no readers to listen to I learned to use Google Keywords to identify what people were searching for in my field. I learned to shift my mindset to what my customers were thinking.

Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

My big break happened last October about Halloween time. I basically did a big launch, had done a speaking engagement, another audio interview and a couple of radio that same week. It was an accumulation of all these speaking events and giving talks about raw foods that pushed things over the edge and made the launch a big success for me. One talk was at The Big Carrot in Toronto, Canada and I did some online podcasts.

Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

Before the big launch that I did, I tried to do something similar to provide a program for people, and it really didn’t resonate with anyone. It didn’t connect with my audience and my offering wasn’t quite right, the timing wasn’t right either. It was a failure in that I launched a product that didn’t take off, but it was useful to me to see what it took to create a program like that, the time it took and what people really wanted. Learning from that helped me down the line to achieve success.

What has been your biggest disappointment in your life – and what are you doing to prevent its reoccurrence?

I always felt that I had this knowledge of what I was meant to do and it had something to do with health, but I became a programmer because I was very idealistic and thought that I could create software that would lead to finding the cure for cancer or something like that. I guess I was very disappointed that things didn’t turn out the way the way I expected. That has made me think about how I make decisions and my expectations of the world. These days I think about my decisions very differently from back then. I was pretty young when I made that decision.

What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

The toughest decision that I made was to turn down a job offer and go out on my own to start a business. I had a job offer to work on Wall Street in New York City and I also had it in my mind that I wanted to travel and visit China. My boyfriend Robin is from China and I wanted to visit his family. So I made the decision to turn down the job offer and figure out what I’d do when I returned from China. It was a very tough decision to make but it turned out very well.

What are three events that helped to shape your life?

1. I am a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and one of the events which shaped me was attending a big competition in the US and winning a medal there. And it was great to see what it was like outside of my tiny home town in Ontario. The experience built my self confidence.
2. Another event also occurred when I was younger. I participated in a forum for young Canadians. A bunch of high school students were brought to Ottawa, Canada and we talked about politics and how to change the world and it made me realize that we are all in this together and how we take action is how we differ.
3. I lived in California for four months for an internship and just being there, meeting people and attending a seminar was really life changing for me to be around people with different mindsets. Being there started bubbling some of my business ideas.

What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

Being in business right now.

How did mentors influence your life?

Mentors influenced my life a lot! One of my mentors was my tae kwon do instructor and she was very influential in giving me self confidence. It was good to have someone who believed in me and wanted to see me go far. Other mentors were very instrumental, especially in business, and women I met online were very motivational to me and gave me the power and courage to step out and do this.

What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

Trust yourself, listen to your intuition, and take action.

Which resources (books, movies, training etc.) did your mentors recommend to you?

One of the ones I liked was a book called Book Yourself Solid by Michael Port. Other books recommended are all the books by Seth Godin and the Ultimate Sales Letter by Dan Kennedy.

As an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

Trust yourself that what you are doing is going to work, put yourself out there and show people that you care and build relationships. Stick to what you are doing and don’t give up when things aren’t going well.

What nuggets can you take away from Nathalie’s interview?

Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know what you think about this.  Click on the comment link below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the left side) by email or RSS Feed. I created a Mini Learning Toolkit and you can grab a copy by clicking here.

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