The Invisible Mentor

Posts Tagged ‘Miguel De Cervantes’

Interviewee Name: David Gray

Company Name: DSG Associates

Website: http://www.davidgraycoach.com

Avil Beckford:  How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

David Gray: My personal and professional life are seamless in the sense that I work almost every day and I set my own hours, so one blends into the other in that respect.  On the other hand, I make a very clear distinction between clients and friends.  Sometimes one becomes the other and vice versa, but for the most part my private life is just that.

Avil Beckford:  What’s a major regret that you’ve had in life?

David Gray: I regret not having traveled the world when I was in my twenties instead of jumping right into a career.

Avil Beckford:  What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

David Gray:

1. Treat everyone as a friend unless or until they give you reason not to do so
2. Seek to understand and only then to be understood
3. Be completely trustworthy, as trust is the foundation for all true relationships
4. Be true to yourself
5. Treat everyone with dignity and respect, but be especially gentle with the old, the young, the weak and the less fortunate

Avil Beckford:  When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

David Gray: I spend my “down-time” in one of four ways:  thinking/reflecting on my own; working out physically at the gym or at home; reading; with close friends, usually one-to-one.

Avil Beckford:  What process do you use to generate great ideas?

David Gray: Take the situation, consider the conventional wisdom and then try to turn it on its head and see what comes up.  In other words, think in a consciously contrarian style.

Avil Beckford:  How do you define success?

David Gray: Success as I define it is an intensely personal and individual reality.  For me personally, success fundamentally consists in being true to my own ideals and life philosophy while engaging in a genuine way with clients and friends such that they feel enriched for having spent time with me.

Avil Beckford:  In your opinion what’s the formula for success?

David Gray: The formula for success is simple:  Chase your dreams, not other people’s ideas of success.

Avil Beckford:  What does it take to succeed in your field?

David Gray: To be successful in my field one typically needs empathy, compassion, a conscientious work ethic and a background in HR.  However, to be truly outstanding one additionally needs a great degree of life history in a variety of business settings as well as a high degree of intuitive and innovative intelligence in order to be able to work with people from numerous diverse backgrounds who are each struggling with very individual career and life challenges.  In a word, one needs wisdom.  And typically, that can only be accumulated over a long period of time after encountering a variety of challenging situations in one’s own career and life.

Avil Beckford:  Which one book had a profound impact on your life?

David Gray: Hero of a Thousand Faces by the great mythologist, Joseph Campbell.  He taught me to ‘follow my bliss.’

Avil Beckford:  If you were stranded on a deserted island, what are five books that you would like to have with you and why? Give a brief summary of each book.

David Gray:

• Don Quixote, by Miguel De Cervantes:  The first modern novel, this book revolutionized the imaginative approach to the then core myth of Chivalry, itself a central concept in most European’s self-construct.  This book reminds us never to take at face value the assumptions of the society in which we happen to live because of vagaries of our birth in a particular geographical space, social context and time.
• The Shield of Achilles: War, Peace and the Course of History, by Philip Bobbitt.  An erudite and sweeping review of European history until the 19th century and then an analysis of world history in the 20th and early 21st centuries viewed from the dual perspectives of Law and War.  This book provides a context within which to grasp the complex geopolitics of the world we currently live in.
• The Poetry of Robert Frost: All eleven of his books – complete, edited by Edward Connery Lathem.  This book reminds one that the only life worth living is one including a degree of reflection.
• The Measure of a Man: a Spiritual Autobiography - Sidney Poitier.  This book teaches a man how to live as a man.  In a day and age when men are increasingly out of touch with their essential masculinity, Poitier’s story of his personal challenges, triumphs and philosophy of life reads like a melodic breath of very fresh air.
• Lincoln’s Melancholy:  How Depression Challenged a President and Fuelled His Greatness, by Joshua Wolf Shenk.  A biography that reads like a detective novel. The real Lincoln is far more fascinating and inspiring than the manufactured American myth of the man.  Like Poitier’s book, this one provides insights into what is possible to achieve and, far more importantly, what it means to live life as a man who is true to his own vision, come hell or high water.  Interestingly, in Lincoln’s case it was the hellfire of a bullet, whereas for Poitier it was a near-death experience with high water.

Avil Beckford:  If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for? Or, if I gave you a magic wand, what would you use it for?

David Gray: If I could have one wish granted, it would be to have all of my future wishes granted on a reversible (if unintended consequences ensued) basis.  But seriously…it would be to see President Obama lead the world, by astute understanding and management of long-range American foreign affairs interests, out of the political and economic bankruptcy created by the current American Administration and into a new era of relative peace and stability.

Avil Beckford:  Complete the following, I am happy when…..

David Gray: I am happ(iest) when surrounded by a few very close friends, discussing world affairs, telling jokes, enjoying the warmth of each other’s company and generally having a good laugh while stretching our minds.

About David Gray

David has advised executive clients based in Canada, the UK, Europe and Asia. In addition to his own consulting practice, David serves as President of the Board, Toronto Chapter of the Association of Career Professionals International (ACP International), and is a member of the Strategic Leadership Forum (GTA).

Prior to working as a career and strategic leadership consultant, David held management positions in Canada and the UK in business & technology consulting, and started up and managed two Divisions in Canada for a blue chip, global financial services organization.

David’s quiet, incisive, highly personalized approach has inspired many executives and entrepreneurs who are in process of redefining strategic paradigms to realize growth opportunities on both a business and personal level.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Book links are affiliate links.

Andrew Taylor – Your Invisible Mentor

I am interested in ancient wisdom and constantly looking for books written centuries ago to explore my idea that we can use yesterday’s concepts to solve today’s problems. I wanted a source where an author distilled the works of others. And that’s why I bought and read Books That Changed The World: The 50 Most Influential Books in History by Andrew Taylor. I appreciate that most of the books he focused on were published over five decades ago – only three books were written less that five decades ago: Silent Springs (1962), Quotations from Chairman Mao (1964), and Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (1997). And the earliest work is The Iliad (8^th Century BC).

Andrew Taylor introduces readers to many books that they probably would not know about. In Books That Changed The World, he presents a summary of the work he is discussing, but he also talks about other major works by the author, who influenced them, what was happening in society when the book was written, in other words he provides context for the book. After reading the summaries you can easily determine which book you’d actually want to read, and for me that was very important. And in many of the works presented, if you are paying attention, you discover new processes and systems that you can use in your life.

In How to Read a Book, Mortimer Adler says there are three reasons to read a book: for entertainment, information and to further knowledge. I had two objectives for reading Books That Changed the World, for information and to further my knowledge, and I was not disappointed. If you haven’t done so already, please read yesterday’s post, Three Steps to Claim Legitimacy for Your Work which uses this book to demonstrate a point.

I was surprised to find The Telephone Directory (1878) included among the 50 books, but after you read the summary you clearly understand why. “The telephone also created an occasion for the technology of communication to join with a much old[er] technology – print. Subscribers to the new telephone services needed to know how to contact other subscribers – otherwise the new invention would be little more than a toy. Hence the publication of the first telephone directory, called simply The Telephone Directory [by New Haven District Telephone Company].”

I enjoyed reading, and really appreciated Books That Changed The World because I learned who introduced or legitimized the fields of history, geography, medicine and so on and it was nice to be in-the-know with classics such as Canterbury Tales, Madame Bovary, Moby Dick… Based on what I learned after reading Books That Changed The World, some of the books I plan to scan or read (some of them are too long to read) are:

• The Histories, Herodotus (5^th Century BC)
• Odes, Horace (23 – 13 BC)
• Geographia, Ptolemy (C.AD 100 – 170)
• Canon of Medicine, Avicenna (1025)
• Don Quixote, Miguel de Cervantes (1605 – 15)
• Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems, Galileo Galilei (1632)
• Moby Dick, Herman Melville (1851)
• Madame Bovary, Gustave Flaubert (1857)
• The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money, John Maynard Keynes (1936)

I recommend Books That Changed The World: The 50 Most Influential Books in History by Andrew Taylor.

Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right side) by email or RSS Feed.

All book links are affiliate links

The book list is comprised of books that profoundly influenced interviewees, desert island books as well as the books that I have reviewed. There is a lot of books on the list so I do not expect you to read them all.

Books That Influence

The Bible

The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell

Gone with the Wind,  Margaret Mitchell

Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Robert Pirsig

Desert Island Books

Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth

Fall On Your Knees (Oprah’s Book Club), Ann-Marie MacDonald

The 1001 Arabian Nights

Don Quixote, Miguel  de Cervantes

Short stories by Alice Munroe

A Summons to Memphis, Peter Taylor

New Hart’s Rules

The Mitfords: Letters Between Six Sisters, edited by Charlotte Moseley

Books Reviewed

The Skinny on Time Management, Jim Randel

The Skinny on Success: Why not you? Jim Randel

If you have read any of the books on the list please let me know what you thought of them. Choose at least four books from the list. Find ways to connect them even if they appear to be unrelated. Remove all barriers and let your creativity flow. What are five takeaways, and five great ideas that you can immediately apply?

Keep the conversation flowing. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the left side) by email or RSS Feed. I created a Mini Learning Toolkit and you can grab a copy by clicking here.

For your research and writing needs, consider my firm Ambeck Enterprise for white papers, articles, fact sheets, anniversary booklets, you name it. Since I am the best kept secret you may not know this, but I have over 15 years research and writing experience. I KNOW content. And if you cannot figure out which books to read for professional development, I am your WOMAN, I can assist you with that too.

Note: All book links are affiliate links

“A wise man learns by the experience of others. An ordinary man learns by his own experience. A fool learns by nobody’s experience.” Vern McLellan

The above quote by Vern McLellan sums up the purpose of The Invible Mentor Blog which is to help people learn from the experiences of others mainly through interviews and books. We present David Gray, Your Invisible Mentor, DSG Associates.

 Avil: What’s a typical day like for you?

David: A typical week-day starts around 7:30 am with a breakfast of home-made muesli.  I very seldom miss breakfast.  While I eat, I respond to emails. Then it’s off to meet my clients.  When possible, I grab a quick lunch.  Then in the afternoon the consultation process continues with my clients.  In addition to my own practice www.davidgraycoach.com I work on large firms’ Career and Coaching delivery contracts, so there is seldom a dull moment.  By 7 pm I am usually home and enjoy spending a couple of hours with my wife, Anne, sharing a laugh while we cook and eat dinner and then settle in for a couple hours of reading or TV.  By 11 pm I am back at the computer responding to emails.  By 1 pm I am generally in bed. 

Saturdays and Sundays are catch-up days.  I might see one or two clients on a Saturday, but for the most part I enjoy doing domestic chores (yes, I am that rare male who actually enjoys doing cooking, laundry etc., as I find it very relaxing.)  For exercise I swim at the Miles Nadal Jewish Community Centre at Spadina & Bloor where I am a member.  I try to fit some yoga in at the Yoga Sanctuary at College and Yonge, and I do a stretching and Pilates routine.

  Avil: What does it take to succeed in your field?

 David: To be successful in my field one typically needs empathy, compassion, a conscientious work ethic and a background in HR.  However, to be truly outstanding one additionally needs a great degree of life history in a variety of business settings as well as a high degree of intuitive and innovative intelligence in order to be able to work with people from numerous diverse backgrounds who are each struggling with very individual career and life challenges.  In a word, one needs wisdom.  And typically, that can only be accumulated over a long period of time after encountering a variety of challenging situations in one’s own career and life. 

Avil: What are the three greatest threats to your business success?

David: Fear, procrastination and indecision.  I focus very consciously and creatively on potential available solutions to whatever current challenge I am facing in order to banish those threats.

 Avil: What do you observe most people in your field doing badly that you think you do well?

David: I tend to think way outside the existing structures and definitions concerning how to help people break-through to new levels of consciousness in both their business and personal ways of dealing with challenges.

Avil: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

David: My big break was convincing my wife to marry me.  That relationship has been the foundation for all of my business success.

Avil: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

David: My biggest failure was in not recognizing or having confidence in my own potential as a young adult.  As a result, I worked at manual labour and other mundane jobs while other fellows were going to graduate school.  Eventually, I wrote the LSAT (pre-law exam), scored in the 93rd percentile and realized I was actually quite bright. That gave me the confidence to do an MBA, go into Business & Technology consulting and then enter the Leadership and Career Coaching fields.

Avil: What has been your biggest disappointment in your life – and what are you doing to prevent its reoccurrence?

David: Not having children.  My antidote is to live my own life to the full.

Avil: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

David: The toughest decision I have had to make was to walk away from a friendship of many years that had turned sour.  To this day I feel the loss, but despite my best efforts there was no way I could discover to turn the situation around.

Avil: How did mentors influence your life?

David: Mentors have influenced my life more by their actions and their own ways of conducting themselves rather than by any specific mentoring per se.

Avil: What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

David: Establish trust by being principled and doing what you say you will do.

Avil: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

David: Take the situation, consider the conventional wisdom and then try to turn it on its head and see what comes up.  In other words, think in a consciously contrarian style.

Avil: Which one book had a profound impact on your life?

David: Hero of a Thousand Faces by the great mythologist, Joseph Campbell.  He taught me to ‘follow my bliss.’

Avil: If you were stranded on a deserted island, what are five books that you would like to have with you and why? Give a brief summary of each book

David:

• Don Quixote, by Miguel De Cervantes:  The first modern novel, this book revolutionized the imaginative approach to the then core myth of Chivalry, itself a central concept in most European’s self-construct.  This book reminds us never to take at face value the assumptions of the society in which we happen to live because of vagaries of our birth in a particular geographical space, social context and time. 
• The Shield of Achilles: War, Peace and the Course of History, by Philip Bobbitt.  An erudite and sweeping review of European history until the 19th century and then an analysis of world history in the 20th and early 21st centuries viewed from the dual perspectives of Law and War.  This book provides a context within which to grasp the complex geopolitics of the world we currently live in. 
• The Poetry of Robert Frost: All eleven of his books – complete, edited by Edward Connery Lathem.  This book reminds one that the only life worth living is one including a degree of reflection. 
• The Measure of a Man: a Spiritual Autobiography, by Sidney Poitier.  This book teaches a man how to live as a man.  In a day and age when men are increasingly out of touch with their essential masculinity, Poitier’s story of his personal challenges, triumphs and philosophy of life reads like a melodic breath of very fresh air. 
• Lincoln’s Melancholy:  How Depression Challenged a President and Fuelled His Greatness, by Joshua Wolf Shenk.  A biography that reads like a detective novel. The real Lincoln is far more fascinating and inspiring than the manufactured American myth of the man.  Like Poitier’s book, this one provides insights into what is possible to achieve and, far more importantly, what it means to live life as a man who is true to his own vision, come hell or high water.  Interestingly, in Lincoln’s case it was the hellfire of a bullet, whereas for Poitier it was a near-death experience with high water.

 How do you resolve the challenges in your life? If you had to live your life over, would you do things differently? How do you define success and what is your formula for success? To find out David’s answer to these questions and a lot more, click here to download the entire interview.

Let us know what you think. Do you agree with David? Which aspects of his interview resonates with you the most?

About David Gray: David has advised executive clients based in Canada, the UK, Europe and Asia.  In addition to his own consulting practice, David serves as President of the Board, Toronto Chapter of the Association of Career Professionals International (ACP International), and is a member of the Strategic Leadership Forum (GTA).

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