The Invisible Mentor

Posts Tagged ‘Martin Luther King’

The Flinch is a great book for mentoring because it teaches us to step outside our comfort zone, and it assures us that we are not our mistakes. Because we have failed before, doesn’t mean we will not succeed. Failure is feedback, inventor Thomas Edison said, “If I find 10,000 ways something won’t work, I haven’t failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”

The Flinch by Julien Smith is one of the books in Seth Godin’s Domino Project, and is distributed for free to spread the message. I read it on my computer (I have the Kindle apps) and it takes under an hour to read. Smith includes homework assignments for the reader to do.

According to Smith, “This is a book about being a champion, and what it takes to get there. It’s about decisions, and how to know when you’re making the right ones. It’s about you: the current, present you; the potential, future you; and the one, single difference between them. It’s about an instinct – the flinch – and why mastering it is vital.”

The content of the book isn’t new, but it is presented in a different way, and it is easy to consume. This shouldn’t prevent you from reading The Flinch, because we often have to hear a message about nine times before it sticks. As I was reading the book, I was reminded of Martin Luther King’s quote, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase,” and Susan Jeffers’ awesome book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

There are many times in our life, when we flinch, and do not do the things that we know will make a major difference for us, and to make ourselves feel better, we work hard at justifying our actions, yet we wonder why we never have major breakthroughs in life. The Flinch is not about feeling no fear, it is about having the courage to move forward despite the fear. We avoid the perceived pain and flinch, instead of dealing with it.

I have heard that 92 percent of the times, what we worry about never occurs, yet we waste time worrying and not take action because of what we think may happen. But the funny thing is that most of the time what we worry about never occurs, and if it does, it seldom is as bad as we imagined. The author encourages us to take back our life, to take control and stop flinching.

If we stop flinching and just do the work, our future self will thank us. When you see children playing in a park, they are fearless, and when they fall down, they get up, dust themselves off and continue like nothing happened. The Flinch is about going back to that time, when we brushed ourselves off when we got knocked down. The formula for success in life is really about trial and error, experimenting until we find what works, and it helps us to understand the environment that we exist in.

In The Flinch, Julien Smith says, “…The lessons you learn best are the ones you get burned by. Without the scar, there is no evidence or strong memory…Firsthand knowledge, however, is visceral, painful, and necessary. It uses the conscious and the unconscious to process the lesson, and it uses all your senses. You fall down, your whole motor system is involved…”

A research report by The William Glasser Institute about how we learn backs up what Smith says, we learn:

• 10 percent of what we Read
• 20 percent of what we Hear
• 30 percent of what we See
• 50 percent of what we See and Hear
• 70 percent of what we Discuss with Others
• 80 percent of what we Experience Personally
• 95 percent of what we Teach to Others

 If you experience something, you are 80 percent likely to learn from it. Nothing beats trying and testing your limits besides teaching what your learned from the experience to another person. You constantly have to test yourself to see how far you can go.

Smith recommends that you do the opposite of your habits to build your tolerance to the flinch, and the power it holds over you. In a Seinfeld episode, George Louis Costanza discovered that when he did the opposite of what he usually did, he had great success. We are socialized to respond a certain way, which is seldom the way to blaze a new trail.

The Flinch by Julien Smith is a great reminder of how important it is to stretch ourselves beyond our comfort zone. And the best part is he demonstrates how to do so in the book. Give The Flinch a read, all it will cost is an hour of your time. Even though the content isn’t new, we need a reminder. Download The Flinch today.

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

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I love a good quote because it makes me think. I have been collecting quotes for several years now, but a few years ago it struck me that because I read so much, I should be extracting quotes from the books I read. Below are 21 quotes that I like and some of them I pulled directly from books I read, so the only place you’ll see them is if you read the books they came from.

1. “Within each successful person is an ordinary person who found the courage to act – to face the big challenges and make their dreams come true.” Jinny S. Ditzler, Your Best Year Yet!
2. “No matter what you want in life, you can get it by building rapport. If you can fill the needs of the people who have what you want, bingo – they’ll fill your needs as well. Rapport building works in sales, public relations, and life itself.” Steven Cody & Richard Harte, What’s Keeping Your Customers Up At Night?
3. “… All dreams are meaningful and significant. Meaningful, because they contain a message which can be understood if one has the key for its translation. Significant, because we do not dream of anything that is trifling, even though it may be expressed in a language which hides the significance of the dream message behind a trifling façade.” Erich Fromm, The Forgotten Language
4. “If one has both knowledge and wisdom, the lamp illuminates even the darkest night.” Chao-Hsiu Chen, The Master
5. “Being on the way requires a move forward and sometimes a step of faith into the unknown.” Kavula John, Light For Our Path 2007
6. “One big difference between those who truly succeed in making things happen and the ones who don’t: Those who do, act.” Jinny S. Ditzler, Your Best Year Yet!
7. “Thoughts, feelings and actions are essential to closing a sale, or being successful in public relations, shepherding, bricklaying, you name it. How we think, feel and act will determine everything else.” Steven Cody & Richard Harte, What’s Keeping Your Customers Up At Night?
8. “For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you might need them tomorrow? And tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the over-prudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand as he follows the pilgrims to the holy city?” Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
9. “We are all caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied into a single garment of destiny, whatever affects one directly, affect all indirectly.” Martin Luther King
10. “As a manager it is extremely important to work hard at uncovering the facts involved in whatever the problem or situation he [or she] faces, and based on those facts, to make the appropriate decision. One must draw a balance, however, between fact-finding and decision-making.” John Gardner
11. “It’s important to understand what’s in people’s minds, and separate it from what they are actually saying and discussing with their peers.” Arunas Chesonis
12. “Worrying about something is like paying interest on a debt you don’t even know if you owe.”  Mark Twain
13. “It’s easy to focus on what you think is important, but it’s always about the other person, and their needs, and this takes you down the right strategic path.” Peter Bouffard
14. “I do not have to do anything extraordinary. All I need to do is wake up and see what’s been here waiting for me all the time. It’s already here and all is well.” Maria Nemeth
15. “If you focus on the goals, you will make your bosses happy, but you sell yourself short – life, love, and work are all a series of journeys. Goals happen, are temporary and then are gone and leave emptiness.” Simon Grant
16. “Recognize the divergence between what you as a professional view as your ethical standard, and what some clients see as merely a stance that is variable on request.” Oliver Campbell
17. “Don’t be afraid to show your vulnerability and ask for help. If your intention is clear and honest, people will rally around you and unify toward a common goal.” Nanci Govinder
18. “As long as you are honest you can resolve 99 percent of all situations amicably and without regret.” Seaton McLean
19. “If you don’t throw up your hands when things go wrong, but think it isn’t over and that you still have a chance, anything is possible.” Claire Hoy
20. “Labour for learning before you grow old, for learning is better than silver and gold. Silver and gold will vanish away, but a good education will never decay.” Popular Jamaican Saying
21. “Miracles rest not so much upon healing power coming suddenly near us from afar, but upon our perceptions being made finer, so that for the moment our eyes can see and our ears can hear what has been there around us always.” Willa Cather

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Interviewee Name: Karen Parsons, Human Excellence Coach

Company Name: Successful Solutions

Website: http://www.karenparsons.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Karen Parsons:  I am a life and business excellence coach, speaker and author.  I help empower successful professionals and organizations to further excel, using my depth of understanding about human potential and how to leverage it.  The beginning of any change must start with awareness.  You cannot change what you cannot see.  So I assist my clients bring to the surface; limiting beliefs, perceptions and behaviours that are the hidden barriers to achieving their highest potential.  I then provide them with transformational tools, processes and techniques for implementing lasting and positive change!

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Karen Parsons:  I learned the hard way through my back injury what can happen when you continually push yourself and don’t listen to your body.  The culture within most corporations is that the more you do, the more you can get accomplished.  The faster you move, the busier you are, the more you are getting done.  This is not true and I have a lot of proof to back this up.  This is one of the things I teach corporations.  Stay vigilant to balance.  It will make you more successful, it will make your company more successful.  Most achievers are about doing, doing and doing more.  So they find it difficult to shut off the computer, lock the office door and do something for themselves but it must be done.  Schedule personal time into your schedule.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Karen Parsons:

1. Life is short so figure out how to enjoy it.
2. Work shouldn’t be work.  It should be gratifying, meaningful, interesting and fun.  Don’t settle for just a pay check.
3. You are responsible for your own happiness don’t expect others to behave in ways that make you happy.  Happiness comes from learning self mastery, meaning that you control your inner experience instead of trying to control your outer experience, which is impossible.
4. Live a life of gratitude.
5. Leave a legacy

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Karen Parsons:  Walking the dogs, kite surfing, mountain bike riding, spending time with my family, playing the drums, snowboarding and I meditate or do yoga every day.  I also help a school in the Caribbean, developing their sponsorship program.  It is very gratifying.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Karen Parsons:  Meditations, long walks, deep breathing.  Dreams.  All of these things help me connect to my most creative self and inspire ideas for me.  If I am feeling overwhelmed, stressed or any negative emotions, I don’t’ try to generate ideas in those moments.  It is futile and a waste of time.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Karen Parsons:  “Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible” by Frank Gaines. Most of us go through life very unconscious, just going through the motions without full awareness.  The more you increase your awareness, become more present and conscious, the more you make the invisible visible, you see more possibilities, more choices, and this is how you create your greatest life.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Karen Parsons:  Success to me is when you can wake up with a smile on your face and go to bed with a smile on your face and in between you made a positive difference doing what you are passionate about.  The formula for success, is don’t settle for anything less than the greatest you and when you are the greatest you, you create great success.  Don’t buy in to the dogma that life has to be a struggle, yes of course there are difficult times and many challenges but it doesn’t mean you have to give in to them and let them control who you are.  Grow from them, become stronger and figure out what you need to change to make you happy and then do it.  This to me is real success.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Karen Parsons:

1. Making sure and always asking the question, “Is this what I want to do, is this making me happy?”
2. Creating a vision and then making goals and objectives of how to get there.
3. Staying connected to my most creative self that constantly gives me guidance on where to go and what to do next.
4. Discipline, working hard but also realizing that hard work is not the most important part of the formula for success.  Are you self sabotaging your success through negative self talk, are you creating a lot of inner conflict?  Staying true to practices that keep me aware of what my real thoughts and intentions are because this is what really can make or break success.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Karen Parsons:  Stay true to your vision, and get in touch with your authentic you. This will give you the vision and strength to create the life and work that will be most gratifying to you.  Find a mentor, or many mentors.  Of course I really believe in coaching.  It can save so much time and energy and create meaningful success faster.  Read self-help books and find balance.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Karen Parsons: Oprah Winfrey, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, and Wayne Dyer.  I would be interested to be in their presence and see what that feels like.  I wouldn’t say much to them, I would be more interested in listening to what they have to say.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Karen Parsons:  There have been so many books that have impacted me at different times in my life.  But if I had to choose one,  I think it would have to be the The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart tolle.  It really helped take me to the next level in my development and was a powerful influence.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the time? T he prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million?

Karen Parsons:  I would bring my make-up, hair dryer…just kidding.  The necessities of life not withstanding, I would bring:

• Hat, pen and paper or a laptop to write about my experience.
• Educational books that would help keep my mind sharp.
• Joke book and inspirational book to help get me through the difficult times.
• Picture of my loved ones and perhaps some home movies.

I would spend my time meditating, exercising, doing yoga, exploring, writing, reading, eating.  I would learn how to survive on my own. I think that would be a challenge, that is, make a fire from sticks, make a shelter and so on.  I would observe nature a lot and really figure out the ecosystem and how it all interconnects and I would write about it.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Karen Parsons:  Life excites me.  I love life and I love people.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Karen Parsons:  My relationships, charity, my work nurtures my soul and that is why I do it, mediation, yoga, the feeling of freedom I get from the many sports I do and reading and writing.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Karen Parsons:  I would wish that people would come to understand that they have the power to be happy.  I have found the formula to happiness and success and I am living it.  It is possible.  We all just need some guidance and support to get there.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Karen Parsons:  I am happy NOW!

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

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Interviewee Name: Warren Salmon, CEO

Company Name: First Fridays & Black Board International

Website: http://www.firstfridays.ca, http://www.ashaware.com/home.html

Warren Salmon – Your Invisible Mentor

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Warren Salmon: I was born and raised here in Toronto, from parents of Jamaican and Scottish descent. I went to Ryerson and studied computer science. I also went to York and UBC and took business courses. I am self-employed from I was in university in the technology field. I currently have a software company called Black Board International. I also run a networking event called First Fridays, which I have the trademark for in Canada. I have First Fridays in Toronto and Montreal and looking to expand to other cities as well.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Warren Salmon: They are quite integrated. The events I do for example are events if I wasn’t holding them I would be going to. It allows me to be exposed to a lot of things that are going on in the community, and around the city that are of interest to me on the social side of things as well. I’m able to mix business with pleasure.

Avil Beckford: What’s a major regret that you’ve had in life?

Warren Salmon: Nothing major comes to mind but I could have taken a few more risks, gone out on a limb for some business opportunities.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Warren Salmon:

1. Integrity is very important so don’t do anything that’s going to compromise your integrity.
2. Be truthful.
3. Work hard.
4. Treat people with respect.
5. Be humble when it comes to accomplishments when dealing with people.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Warren Salmon: I spend a lot of time with the family. I’m a father of two children, so I spend a lot of family time. I attend different events that are going on in the community, socialize a bit. I pay attention to my health so I like to work out and I enjoy the outdoors as well.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Warren Salmon: Reading, and observing society in general. Living life certain ideas will jump out at you and if I’m observing people noticing things that could be done better generate new ideas, better ideas and also seeing things that are going on in different cities. That’s how I got the idea for First Fridays, I came across it while doing business in the US and we didn’t have anything like that in Canada so I thought this was something we could use here.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Warren Salmon: “Winners never quit” because it speaks to what it takes to be successful. It takes hard work to be successful, and also when you face adversity and challenges and the only way to be successful is to overcome that adversity and not quit.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success?

Warren Salmon: I define success in terms of happiness and I would also say adding value to people’s lives. I think that’s the biggest form of success, whether you are teaching people or contributing to their lives in a positive way, I’d say to me that’s the biggest form of success.

Avil Beckford: In your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Warren Salmon: Finding something that you’re interested in, your passion, and doing the best that you can, whatever task that is, or business or service and I’d say working hard and having a goal and working towards meeting that goal.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Warren Salmon:

• I got a fairly decent education, going to university helped me to think and learn how to approach things.
• Coming up with a vision and in my case it was different products and services, and working hard to develop those products and services and continually working on improving them, and sticking to the plan and continuing to work and grow those businesses.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Warren Salmon: Education is a key component, so get as much education as you can. Look at people who have succeeded in that field whether they are mentors or role models and look at how they got to where they got to. So look at what path they followed, what steps they took and operate with integrity, believe in yourself, and work hard.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Warren Salmon: I would ask them similar questions that you are asking me.

1. Barack Obama
2. Martin Luther King
3. Malcolm X
4. Jesus
5. Gandhi
6. Nelson Mandela

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Warren Salmon: The Autobiography of Malcolm X As Told to Alex Haley. Quite a few people have mentioned that book as having a profound impact on them – like Spike Lee. The book was very eye opening and it talks about looking at things from a different angle, and it puts a lot of things we see in society into perspective. It causes you to think and rethink a lot of things we’ve been taught about what we see in society.

Avil Beckford: If you were stranded on a deserted island, what are five books that you would like to have with you and why? Summarize the book in two sentences.

Warren Salmon:

1. The Autobiography of Malcolm X: As Told to Alex Haley
2. I would take a book on survival about how to survive on a deserted island
3. The Bible
4. The Quran
5. Humorous book to help me keep my sense of humour
6. Book on meditation

Avil Beckford: What one music CD and movie would you like to have with you (on the deserted island) and why?

Warren Salmon: My favourite music growing up was Parliament Funkadelic and the movie I would take is Cast Away with Tom Hanks.

If you cannot view the YouTube video of Parliament Funkadelic click here.

If you cannot view the YouTube Cast Away trailer click here.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Warren Salmon: Beside stuff relating to family, it’s meeting interesting people like yourself and other people who I am fortunate to come across through the journey of life.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Warren Salmon: I meditate. I’ve been meditating for over half of my life and it’s very grounding and calming.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Warren Salmon: Peace on earth. I wish we would treat each other better and in a more positive way. There is so much waste of life, in so many ways, in so many societies. I wish we would be better people to each other.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Warren Salmon: Spending time with my children, and watching their happiness.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Book links are affiliate links.

For Martin Luther King Day I decided to re-post Thinking Without Border which included information about Martin Luther King Jr. I just saw King: Man of Peace in a Time of War. King is also remembered for his famous speech I Have  a Dream.  If you have never listened to I Have a  Dream, here it is:

What are your thoughts? Is the speech relevant today? If you gave a speech titled I have a dream, what would it include?

Here is the Thinking Without Borders post from June 2009:

We are socialized to think and act a certain way. And, we often put self-imposed barriers around ourselves. To break free, let’s start making small changes, simple shifts in our mindset.

Take a few minutes to read and think about the Martin Luther King quote below.

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

What’s your interpretation of the quote? Let your mind wander! There are no right or wrong answers, they are your thoughts, let them take you wherever. Break those self-imposed chains to your thinking, and step beyond your boundaries. For once, think without borders.

Isn’t it freeing?

Let me share a piece of me with you. When I think of the Martin Luther King quote, I think that I am my brother’s keeper, and that my actions will impact others.

I also think that we are all connected, which leads my mind to the Butterfly Effect, a concept where a butterfly flapping its wings in one region, could trigger a tornado (or some other act) in another region.

My mind then roams to The Hundredth Monkey principle, where after a certain point, new information (or learned behaviour) introduced, ceases to be new and is in the collective consciousness.

Just for today, start with the Martin Luther King quote, and let your mind take you wherever. You never know what great ideas you’ll generate simply by giving yourself permission to think without borders.

What are your thoughts? Do you dare to think without borders? If you were to think without borders, what dreams would you have? And, how would your I Have a Dream speech change? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please comment. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the left side) by email or RSS Feed. I created a Mini Learning Toolkit and you can grab a copy by clicking here.

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• Steven Spielberg Has a Dream About Martin Luther King Jr. (cinematical.com)
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