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Mentor Yourself – Interview With Invisible Mentor Deborah Nixon, President Part II

Avil Beckford — Fri, 25 May 2012 09:30:16 +0000

10 Self-Mentoring Ideas from Deborah Nixon

Build a network of contacts who you can call on, and take the time to nurture those relationships.
Your relationship with people is absolutely everything.
Follow your passion. If you’re sensible about it, usually takes you to a really good place.
If you come from a place of integrity, honour and humility people respond to that.
Most of us can survive almost anything.
You have to read your market very well, and be willing to change and adjust your offering because you cannot convince the market. The market is what the market is, and you have to be open to letting go.
When we go into things, and we assume that what we’re trying to get out of something is what the other person wants to get out of it as well, we often do not check with the other person, we don’t question assumptions, and sometimes it’s wishful thinking because we want something so badly that we won’t look critically and won’t ask the tough questions.
If you have resiliency it gets you really far in life.
Integrity is all about what you do when nobody is looking.
Pay attention to where things are going and read widely.

Invisible Mentor: Deborah Nixon, President/Founder

Company Name: Trust Learning Solutions, MyMoneyMindset

Website: http://www.trustlearningsolutions.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Deborah Nixon: My area of specialization is working with leadership teams in organizations trying to build better relationships, conflict resolution, and actually to help them work more effectively together. I have another business which is quite interesting as well called My Money Mindset. I work with women helping them to look at psychological issues toward money.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Deborah Nixon: They’re intertwined, they integrate well. I think when your work is your passion, when you’re doing your work it doesn’t feel like work. I love what I do so the integration is very smooth. Maybe because I work in the area of trust, and for me it’s something that I speak to my son a lot about and the way in which I live my life and model my behaviour. It’s a pretty seamless thing.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Deborah Nixon: One of the things I do is go on retreats – that is probably the foundational thing that I do and it’s so important to me. Every quarter for three to four days I go on a retreat, and once a year, I go from seven to 10 days. On a regular basis, I try to stay away from TV and the media, and I walk with my dog.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Deborah Nixon:

The importance of resiliency and I teach it to my son. I think if you have resiliency it gets you really far.
Have a great respect for people’s journey.
When bad things happen we have a moral obligation to grow something good out of that.
There is no shortcut around working really hard.
If you’re not doing what you’re passionate about you really won’t be successful. Being a success requires hard work and is all about resiliency.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Deborah Nixon: I go on retreats. I’m most creative when I’m on a retreat. The process there is a silent retreat how I have no connection to the internet, there is no TV no newspapers, no radio, it’s just you and the silence and nature. And so much happens.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Deborah Nixon: It’s my own quotation and I know it sounds egotistical, but it is the one that I live by. “Integrity is all about what you do when nobody is looking.” It’s my favourite quote because it’s the measure I use to evaluate other people and it’s part of my work, and it’s part of my philosophy.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Deborah Nixon: Success to me is twofold and believe it or not I do think there is an element of financial success in there. For me success is doing important work that allows you to achieve a certain level of survival and comfort. So although it’s important to follow your passion, it’s not helpful if it doesn’t generate any income for you because you won’t be following your passion for very long. The formula for success is to find what you love and be really strategic about how you can make a living from it. The key to that is developing a solid network.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Deborah Nixon: I was always a very great networker very early on so I’ve built an incredible network, and what’s good about that is that there are always people to reach out to for advice, to check your ideas. You asked me earlier if I had a mentor and I don’t have a single mentor but I have an unbelievable network, and my network is very wide so some of the steps I took were: (1) I listened and paid attention to where I excelled in my career so I knew what I was good at and not good at and then I decided on what I needed to do so I decided to get my Masters and PhD. All along the way, I built the network, and my network is very wide so I spoke to people who were successful to find out what they did to learn from them about what it took and what they did, and to really engage people in my journey. So the step I took was really making connections.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Deborah Nixon: Focus on building your network and pay attention to what’s happening in the field, not only what’s going on today, but pay attention to where things are going. Read widely, I’m a great believer in reading, think carefully and project where things are going because things are changing so quickly.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Deborah Nixon:

I would love to meet Nelson Mandela. I have great respect for him, what would I say to him? I would say, “Thank you!” I would thank him for his commitment and his belief in his mission.
I would like believe it or not to meet Bernie Madoff. I’m very fascinated by his fraud and I would like to ask him about his process to do what he did and why he did it.
I would also like to meet Mother Teresa because she is a great inspiration for people who have a bigger mission outside themselves.
I would like to meet a group called the Desert Fathers and Mothers who lived in the fourth century. These are people who left society to live in the desert. I’d like to ask them about what they heard out there and what the lessons are.
The last person I’d like to meet is Bill Clinton because he survived a scandal, and he was someone who was a trusted leader. I’d like to talk to him about the experience

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Deborah Nixon: The book is The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. Joan Didion is a well-known American writer whose husband dropped dead suddenly right in front of her while they were having dinner in front of their fireplace. She wrote a book about the year following his death, and it had a great impact on me because she was very real and authentic about the craziness, the insanity when someone close to you dies.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the two years? T he prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million?

Deborah Nixon: If I’m stuck on a deserted island I would need something to make me laugh.

Two Years

I would do what I do when I’m on a retreat. I would write the book I’ve been wanting to write. I would write and reflect and I would always workout and I would swim. I would come out with my book on trust.

Five Books

The Desert Fathers
The Year of Magical Thinking
Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela

These are inspirational books and books of the soul. The other two books are The Bible and a Jamie Oliver Cookbook (Jamie Oliver’s Meals in Minutes: A Revolutionary Approach to Cooking Good Food Fast).

Music CD & Movie

The CDs I would take are by Snow Patrol (Fallen Empires [Deluxe Edition]) and also another group Guster (Ganging Up on the Sun), which is not well-known. Those two groups make me feel very good. I am moved by music and their music is different and creative and puts me into a good space. I would take Something’s Gotta Give because Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson in the movie make me laugh and I can relate to it. It’s a middle aged couple who find romance with each other and I like movies like this one because they are authentic and you look at it and go, “That’s me”.

Snow Patrol – In The End

Cannot view this video, click here. Published on Jan 13, 2012 by SnowPatrolVEVO

Guster – Do You Love Me

Cannot view this video, click here. Uploaded by GusterVEVO on Sep 13, 2010

Something’s Gotta Give – Trailer

Cannot view this video, click here. Uploaded by TheMovieSceneUK on Jul 20, 2010

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Deborah Nixon: The possibilities. I’m a very hopeful person and I always expect something exciting and special to happen down the road. And what’s exciting is that we’re in more control than we think. And even when we get upset and think about why something happened, we have a lot of power to change our direction. And I think that’s really exciting.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Deborah Nixon: Going on retreats. I’m very spiritual and I nurture my soul through my faith and it’s very important to me.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Deborah Nixon: Oh my God I’d wish for money! I would wish for a lot of money so I could do my work for free. There are so many people who I know I can help who can’t afford to pay me and the reality of life is that the bank wants their mortgage payment. So I would like money, I’d like a benefactor who would give me enough money so that I can live on, so I can take my work out to the community, to people who can’t pay me.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Deborah Nixon: I’m on a retreat – that’s my happiest moment.

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Mentor Yourself With Nathon Gunn, CEO, Social Game Universe Part II

Avil Beckford — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:30:45 +0000

Interviewee Name: Nathon Gunn, CEO

Company Name: Social Game Universe

Website: http://www.socialgameuniverse.com

OMDC Digital Dialogue 22 of 24: Visioning the Digital Future

If you cannot view this YouTube video, please click here.

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Nathon Gunn: I am the CEO of a company called Social Game Universe and I also started another company called Bitcasters, which is still going. I’m an entrepreneur, and an innovator and I’m very passionate about creating new things. I work in new media and technology.

Image via CrunchBase

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Nathon Gunn: I work with a lot of my friends and sometimes that’s a good thing and sometimes a bad thing but I certainly do socialize. I work with the people I love, and often these are the same folks I’m friends with. In that way my life is integrated. I try to have a balance, try to make sure I have time away from the office, but I also do enjoy, on a personal level, all the travel that work brings for me, so I often try to make work go in the direction of the personal side of my life. I will go to New York to do business because I like being in New York and seeing my friends there, so I do integrate in those ways. But I also try to keep some healthy distance because you can’t be at work all the time.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Nathon Gunn: You mean not at Birmingham? (he laughs). I’m not usually at Birmingham. I like to go to the movies because it’s kind of a nice way to relax. My best friend Duane and I play tennis, my friend Ian and I play tennis as well. I love going to the island here in Toronto and get away from the city a little bit, and occasionally I play computer games though making computer games sometimes you don’t want to play them after you get off work.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Nathon Gunn: I’m no guru so I guess I’ll just be parroting what other people have said because clichés are clichés for a reason.

You have to just do it to quote Nike. It’s the same thing I said about radical self-reliance, put one foot in front of the other or the old adage, every journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step.
Then you have to stick to it, putting one foot in front of the other doesn’t complete the journey, putting many feet in front of the other does complete the journey.
The journey is never really over. If you don’t enjoy the process then you’re doing the wrong thing. If you’re living for the destination then I know these are clichés but they are really true. I have noticed a whole year or months and months go by, and said to myself, “What was I doing?” and I said, “I was working on this thing to get to here.” And I realized that here never arrived, and it’s really killed me how I wasted three months, and in one case a year doing something that in the end I didn’t care about.
Happiness is an important part of everything. I read about happiness, I think in the Harvard Business Review, that there were a few key aspects to happiness. You have to feel like you’re making progress at something that’s a challenge and meaningful to you. Those things have to all go hand-in-hand because if you’re not making progress, and its’ challenging and meaningful, that doesn’t do it and if you are making progress but it’s not challenging, even though it’s meaningful then that isn’t good, and if it’s not meaningful, and you’re making progress, even though it’s challenging then that doesn’t do it. So there has to be all those things and I try to focus myself on that.
Remember that at the end of the day, all the work stuff is secondary to making sure that you leave the world a better place, and that you have friends that you can say at the end of the day that their lives are better because you were there.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Nathon Gunn: I steal them! Maybe that’s one of the few times you hear people say something like that but it’s an honest part of creating ideas. I don’t think many things come from absolutely nowhere. I think you have to be an absorber of great ideas to put things together in new ways. I work with a big team of creative, brilliant people so we get together as a group and generate great ideas together. We bounce ideas off each other. Moses Znaimer, my old boss, used to sign his name to various TV shows that he did, and that’s fine, but along with those signatures was a long list of credits for the other people who worked on those products. When you watch the end of a TV show you see those names and it’s a collaborative process. I think it’s a big part of generating great ideas, since you’ve asked, I have to tell you one of the funniest ways that I’ve generated great ideas – when we have creative brainstorming sessions, I notice I will hear a really good idea from somebody and I would repeat it back to the person I heard it from, and they will laugh and say, “You misheard me totally, that’s not the idea? It’s this other idea.” And often enough, the idea I misheard is a really good idea so sometimes bad hearing helps us to generate great ideas.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Nathon Gunn: “Do not squander time for that is the stuff life is made of,” Benjamin Franklin, or “I conceive that the great part of the miseries of mankind are brought upon them by false estimates they have made of the value of things,” Benjamin Franklin.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Nathon Gunn: My definition of success is accomplishing our goals and we choose what our goals are. I have chosen goals that have to do with innovating and creating new products that hopefully will be delightful to people, but also make a difference and be positive in the world. I select those goals based on what is realistic, what’s going to be unique, not just copying other people but how we can take things a step further, but not reach so far that we automatically fail.

Some of those decisions in terms of choosing the goals and aiming for and working on them, is the formula for success. But if there is one thing that I have found, is the big part for the formula for success because you can pick the wrong goal, have the timing wrong, you can make mistakes along the way, and none of those have to necessarily fail if you persist, if you don’t give up. If you keep refactoring what you learn, and keep reapplying it to what you’re trying to do, and sometimes adjusting what you’re trying to do, that’s the formula for success.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Nathon Gunn: I made a point of working with the best people I could find. I made a point of conceptualizing the most interesting projects that I could imagine that were realistic opportunities that would be in demand by the customers and the audience. And I used those conceptual ideas for really exciting and interesting products to inspire the best people I could find, and then together we went and found support, and opened doors to the kinds of partners who we wanted to work with. I would say it requires reading about things, it requires meeting people to make sure you have access to talent requires understanding your industry, know which doors you want to open, and which people you need to talk to. It requires learning how to talk to those people, in their language, about the things that you want to do, and then it just requires work and persistence, – not to beat a dead horse – but that’s been my formula, and it seems to work.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Nathon Gunn: There are a lot of tactical things I talked about in the question above, but none of it would be possible if I wasn’t passionate about what I was doing. I’ve really been excited about the ideas in my head, the people around me, now I’ve designed it so that the people around me are exciting, and I’ve tried to focus my thoughts on exciting things. I’ve tried to find people and partners to work with who are exciting and interesting to me. But if I were to give a piece of advice that could work for anybody, I think it has to be that old saying that you have to love what you do. Because everything will follow from there if you love it, something will wake you up in the morning and ask you what you will do next and you will find an answer, if something wakes you up in the morning and says, I want to do this. And it has to come from inside you, so if you don’t have it you have to look for that. Before you can study the mechanical parts of making it work you have to find the fuel and the fire inside that going to make the mechanical parts do their job.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Nathon Gunn:

Nelson Mandela is an incredible human being. I’ve always wanted to meet him and in fact I wrote a letter to his elders’ organization and was asked to do some work, but we haven’t had the right opportunity, but that would be one of the great heroes for me. There are obvious ones, people who have character and strength – Winston Churchill would be a fascinating guy to meet. He was a man who had his mistakes and foibles and maybe wouldn’t have been a great leader without the challenges at the time, but it was phenomenal. Gandhi of course – those are big names that anybody could easily cite but of course they are big names because they have done incredible things. I would of course be delighted to meet them. In terms of living people, I have met Richard Branson but we didn’t get to chat. He is a fascinating character because he did things through creative pursuit, passions but turned them into businesses and he’s also had a flair for making a big name for himself without coming across as a pompous jerk so I’ve always admired his ability to generate publicity for his companies without looking like a pompous jerk.

The fifth person should stand for all the people who I meet every day, to say that they are all famous isn’t fair. I think sometimes you meet a hero in a book shop. I was looking at antique furniture, I met the woman running the store, and she started telling me a story about how she escaped Berlin when she was a little girl. Moses Znaimer told me a story when I went into his office and said hey, “look at this photo of you and Jack Nicholson, what was it like to meet him?” And Moses said, “Well it wasn’t as interesting as the conversation that I had with the woman who has been working in my garden.” It turns out that she had escaped from Eastern Europe as well so we compared notes on that. And I had to say that’s an interesting point he made to me, so I’ll share that point. There are people who you cross paths with every day and they are heroes in their own way and that’s important.

It would be interesting to meet my grandparents. I had a grandfather who worked on the railroad and a grandmother who died before I could meet her, a great grandmother who died from leukemia, all of whom I’ve heard stories, who lived through such incredible times. They had such an impact on my parents, wouldn’t it be amazing to know them?

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Nathon Gunn: It was Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence. He wasn’t a doctor but he spoke to many doctors who had been studying the idea of emotional intelligence. Many people will be taking this for granted at this stage in history because his book had such a big impact and changed so many people’s views about what smart really is. But before that book came out, the further back you go, generally the accepted view on intelligence was that it’s analytical skills, can you do the math, can you remember the answer to this question? I had a number of people around me in my life who had high IQ. They had numerous degrees, and they worked from 5 am in the morning to 5 at night, and to be very honest it kind of intimidated me. I thought, “God I’m not that smart, will I ever want to get up at 5 am and do what these people do?” I sure like sleeping in.

The first time I was exposed to that book was in the form of an article in Harvard Business Review and it was emotional intelligence applied to leadership, and it talked about the qualities of a good leader. And the qualities that were cited were things like empathy for people, the ability to understand the people you work with is a quality that makes you a good leader. You look at Warren Bennis and other books on leadership, and look at some of the older stuff and you see things important to be the head of General Motors, the head of General Electric, but really inspired leaders have empathy. Other qualities in the list include ability to be self-deprecating and look at your own self and laugh.

These were things I couldn’t believe were including in a list for a leader. I thought being a leader and being smart meant you could do the math puzzles, you could boss people around, you could get up at five in the morning, and you never showed any weakness, so that book changed my view of what being a good leader really meant, and what being a success in business really meant. And I have quoted that book many times to friends. I’ve had friends say, “I’m not smart,” and these are some of the smartest people I know. For people who are not familiar with the concept of emotional intelligence should take a look at it because it goes to the qualities that you need to have to make the brain do the things it needs to do to succeed in life.

They had one study in the book where they looked at all the smart people who worked at Bell Labs where PhD and Nobel Laureates worked and they found the guys who did very well were the one who walked around and talked to other guys. Because instead of sitting at their desks working on a puzzle for a month, they might find out it had already been solved just down the hall. So some of those social and emotional skills are part of intelligence and that book changed my life by showing me that.

[See article Read Study science and math to get ahead in the future of work, right? Gigaom.com]

Nathon Gunn:

Two Years

I could build a boat out of the book and try to leave, books wouldn’t float, darn it. I think the thing that is most interesting to me about being on a deserted island for two years is the idea that for once I do not have to do some of the things that I do here in Toronto, so I would want to meditate, a lot. I wouldn’t have a lot of choice, would I? I would start by saying I would want to think deeply about things that I just don’t have time to think about. When my life is spent trying to accomplish goals, and move fast from thing to thing, the thing I don’t get to do enough of is to actually read philosophical books that deal with really deep issues and spend time meditating on it.

My first answer was going to be that I would bring all sorts of gadgets and digital goodies in my suitcase so I could keep inventing things, but maybe the best thing about being on your island, is I could stop inventing things and start meditating on things.

I would probably go stir crazy at some point and start trying to invent things with whatever else I had, but that’s about it.

Five Books

The five books would be nothing about accomplishing things. There would be a book on physics, literature, philosophy, politics and humanities. So books with big ideas that you can put in your head and let them jumble around.

Movie and Music CD

I love movies, you have taken all my fun away! I don’t think I could pick just one movie, I love so many movies. I would bring a movie that a friend had made because I have a number of friends who are film makers. I would bring one of their films so I could think about the process of creativity, and the process of my friends being artists, and participate in their art. And if it was only one music CD, I would burn it myself with mp3 so that I could fit 600 songs on there and it would be a mix of everything.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Nathon Gunn: I love life and I get excited everyday by new things. I love to discover new things. I’m addicted to new experiences and I like to travel and discover new things and I can do that inn my work. I like meeting new people and I like discovering new interactions with people and new things about myself through all of that.

In general, I like the wild, creative, exciting adventure that is life everyday when you go out and try new things.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Nathon Gunn: I spend time with good friends, and on my own, and I think about the ways I can try to improve and the mistakes I’ve made and the ways I can correct them. I try to remind myself to think about other people, and put their needs and thoughts ahead of mine and then go back at life with that in mind. But I think I nurture my souls largely around people who I admire who have qualities that inspire me.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Nathon Gunn: I’ve been very lucky to have support from mentors, and the world, so I can’t say I haven’t had it, but the hardest things in life have been when the support has been inconsistent or when I couldn’t find the support to make progress through the difficult challenges. If the genie could give me one reasonable thing, it would be consistency and stability and support that you can always count on, that’s always there. I know a lot of people think that’s a bunch of money, but I think it takes different forms at different times so I would ask the genie in a very vague way so that I could have money one time, friends another, and just a nice place to sleep at night.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Nathon Gunn: I’m making progress in something I care about that is a challenge, especially when I’m doing it with friends.

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Video Credit: OMDC Digital Dialogue 22 of 24: Visioning the Digital Future Uploaded by OMDConline on Aug 3, 2010

Mentor Yourself With Nathon Gunn, CEO, Social Game Universe (theinvisiblementor.com)
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Mentor Yourself: Interview With Maggie Berry, Women in Technology Part II (theinvisiblementor.com)

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Chris Kulbaba, Career and Employment Counsellor, Resume Writer, Facilitator, Public Speaker & LinkedIn Entrepreneur Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 09:30:13 +0000

Interviewee Name: Chris Kulbaba, Career and Employment Counsellor, Public Speaker

Company Name: London Employment Help Centre

Website: http://linkedinheavyweight.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Chris Kulbaba: I consider myself to be first and foremost a family man so that’s really my focus. I have six children between my partner and I so family is very important. The next thing is that I consider myself to be a helper and a collector. I was told very recently that I collect people and information, and I thought that was a very appropriate description of me. And the last thing is I consider myself to be a social media fanatic – I love that stuff.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Chris Kulbaba: I try to keep portions of my personal life very private, however, I also try to keep pieces of my personal life very public. As I’m facilitating I do some self-disclosure. I want to build rapport and trust, and as a mentor, if I’m willing to share some of my struggles and admit some of my own mistakes I truly believe that that lets other people know that everybody makes mistakes, everybody learns through this process and as I give people pieces of personal information I’m sharing with them but I want to keep some pieces of my life private.

As an example, if I’m going to the beach I would not necessarily tweet that I’m going to the beach. I would just go to the beach.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Chris Kulbaba: I’m an enquiring, extroverted, feeling perceptive, so if anyone is familiar with the Myers Briggs dichotomy I love learning so figuring out how to do something a little bit better or to involve myself in learning is what I like to do. I have several clients who are Spanish so I have been teaching myself how to speak Spanish. I can speak a little bit of Spanish but I’m learning as I go.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Chris Kulbaba:

Everyone that you meet is fighting some sort of battle. So remember that and just give them some patience.
The more that you give away, the more that is going to come back to you. I never set out on any activity wondering what’s coming back I just concentrated on helping other people.
Everybody perceives things their own way. That’s fine! Just because I see something and I am happy about it and someone else sees something and is not, I don’t have to go and fix that.
There is always something to learn: There are always teachable moments around us and you just have to be open to them.
You never ever laugh too much

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Chris Kulbaba: I listen. I listen to other people and ask them “what’s a challenge you are having?” I ask them “what’s going on right now that’s really frustrating to you?” because a real motivation for me is to help people. For me to have a great idea, if I have a great problem and I can meet with someone to discuss things then we can bounce ideas off each other, that’s how I generate great ideas is trying to think of ways to help other people.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Chris Kulbaba: My favourite quotation is a Nigerian proverb, “It doesn’t matter what you are called, it only matters what you answer to.” The reason I really like that one is that it talks about how you define yourself. It doesn’t factor in very strongly for me what other people want to call me, what resonates with me internally is what I decide I am going to answer to.

I also like “Beer is proof that God likes us,” I guess I really like beer. And that’s by Benjamin Franklin.

Note from Avil: The quote about beer is a common Benjamin Franklin misquote. What Franklin said was, “Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards, there it enters the roots of the vines, to be changed into wine, a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy.” Source: http://urbanlegends.about.com/b/2008/09/15/misquote-ben-franklin-on-beer.htm.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Chris Kulbaba: I define success by when I am networking, or working with someone, how much success do they feel that they got. So as we are working together, their success is my success. If they are working to get another job, working to increase market share, get more clients, that’s where I perceive my niche, my superpower for a better word is collaborative success. In my opinion, the formula for success is to listen twice as much as you speak. I’m not arrogant enough to think that I have all the answers so I have to ask questions to figure out what is the root issue so that we can grow and be successful.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Chris Kulbaba: The first thing I did was find a mentor in the field. I asked around about who I should be following and when the same name kept on coming up again and again I approached that person and asked to get some advice on what he thought was best for me. I followed the advice then went back and asked for more. I also asked if there was anyone else who would help me out. They gave me a few contacts so I set several daily goals, weekly goals, monthly goals and long-term goals.

As I met one of those goals I re-evaluated to see what my next steps would be. The steps I took to succeed were putting all the pieces into place.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Chris Kulbaba: Think about what you do that other people say, “You made that look so easy.” Think about something you do, either at work or at home that you enjoy doing. Take a moment out of your day, sit there, close your eyes and think back to a story that you are really proud to tell somebody and think about what is involved, who is involved, and think if there is a way you can do this at work.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Chris Kulbaba:

The first person I would want to meet is Leonardo da Vinci. I have always been fascinated with Leonardo da Vinci because he was able to see so much hidden beauty. He was dyslexic but ambidextrous – he had a drawing of the submarine and the airplane as and the list goes on. One of the first questions I’d like to ask him is what motivates him, I’d like to figure that one out.
Another person I’d love to meet is Abraham Lincoln and I’d like to ask him how he felt about criticism, how he internalized criticism. He is a man who fought for what he believed in, the Proclamation of Emancipation. It took him years to get to the White House amongst a Civil War, mental breakdowns and other failures in business. He really had a dream and a vision.
Another person I would enjoy meeting is Benjamin Franklin. I think he had a very interesting life and I love many of his quotations – they seem very witty. He seems like a very amusing person and the one question I’d like to ask him is, “Knowing what you now know, nearing the end of his time what would he have done differently?”
I would like to meet Bill Gates for the simple fact that he had a real vision. He started Microsoft with software that he bought from somebody else. He started it by telling people he would do something that had never been done before, he didn’t know how he was going to do it but he just did. The only question that I’d like to ask him, “What made you say in those few moments that you could do something that had never been done?” How did he know that? How did he have that much vision inside himself, and who were his mentors?
The fifth person I’d like to meet is Oprah Winfrey. I would love to meet Oprah, talk about a force to be reckoned with. I think that she singlehandedly has changed millions of lives. She had a clear vision; she had a clear direction of what to do, but I think the only thing that I would really want to ask her is, “What’s next?”

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Chris Kulbaba: It’s not a big book. It’s not groundbreaking, but to me it was simply life altering. It was The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. This book is about a man who is dying from pancreatic cancer and is giving the last lecture of his life as a university professor. But the book is not a story about being sick or dying, it’s a story about the celebration of living life, always being willing to embrace change, being excited about who you are. I literally had to put the book down a dozen times because I was so emotionally involved in this book. It’s not a big book, it’s maybe 150 pages.

Last Lecture Revisited

If you cannot view the YouTube video please click here.

Chris Kulbaba:

Five Books

One of the books I would take is How to Learn Spanish in Two Years.
I would bring the Bible even though I’m not overly religious. I would like to read about several life lessons and I think the Bible has many good stories.
I would like to bring a scrapbook of my family and friends so that would be a memory book for me.
I would also like to take War and Peace which is a big book and I would bring it because it’s a literary classic. It might take me a while to read but I’ve got the time.
I think I would bring Tony Robbins’ Awaken the Giant Within which talks about how to be good to yourself, neuro-linguistic programming and stuff like that.

The movie I would have to bring is Cast Away with Tom Hanks. The music CD would have to be a mix of different music. I would like some quiet music, energizing music, and some music that’s just plain old fun, and maybe some music where my kids are singing a few songs.

Cast Away Official Movie Trailer

If you cannot view this YouTube please click here.

For the two years, I would practice my Spanish of course. The first thing I’d like to do is just spend some time every day to meditate, relax and realize I’m in a beautiful place. I don’t really need or want for anything and I would like to get to know myself. In my suitcase I would bring some journals and I’d like to write down my thoughts and I’d like to see if I could devise a schedule on what I’ll do when I get home. I’ve got $2 million so how am I going to spend it, what will I do? I would also spend some time daydreaming; that would be a fun activity.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Chris Kulbaba: Everything. Learning, learning, learning. There is always something to learn. There is always something to do. There is always someone to meet. Helping someone to be better than they are is exciting.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Chris Kulbaba: I play with the kids. I love goofing around with the kids. That’s a soul nurturing activity to be silly with the kids. I always try to find humor in everything I do. Not that I take life lightly, but there is always something to be grateful for and enjoy. The simple fact that I have a job and enough to eat puts me in the top 10 percent of the population in the world.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Chris Kulbaba: I think that I would wish for the ability to heal my partner from her chronic pain. She suffers from a car injury and has broken her shoulder twice. She lives in chronic pain all the time.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Chris Kulbaba: I’m happy when I’m helping other people. I’m happy when I’m helping someone do something that makes them feel good.

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YouTube Video Credits: Wall Street Journal Digital Network

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews David Gray, Leadership Coach & Career Consultant Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 09:30:58 +0000

Interviewee Name: David Gray

Company Name: DSG Associates

Website: http://www.dsgassociates.ca

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

David Gray: The concept of integration is an interesting one. In my opinion, there can be no distinction between who you are as a business leader or as an individual on a personal basis. In other words, your ‘Self’ has to be an integrated whole. Otherwise, by definition it would be impossible to lead with integrity and conviction. However, one’s personal life is one’s own. In an era of celebrity worship this concept of the private Self can be a difficult one for some people to grasp. My solution is to advise people that I am available as a Coach during a quite broad number of hours. Beyond that, my time is my own.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

David Gray: I spend my down time reading, walking my dog, Eddie, and doing mundane household chores. I find all of these activities quite relaxing and conducive to engaging in a meditation of sorts.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

David Gray:

Be humble
Listen actively and intently.
Practise empathetic understanding.
Reflect intently.
Act decisively.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

David Gray: I try to cast a wide net in the initial research and planning phases and then take everything I have learned and turn it on its head. This combination of broad search and contrarian analysis tends to enable new and innovative thoughts to emerge.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

David Gray: “Seek first to understand and only then to be understood” from Covey’s “7 Habits.” I find that the world can be understood with any degree of accuracy only if one first casts aside one’s own inevitable prejudicial perspectives.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

David Gray: Success for me is defined in terms of relationships. One is successful if one tries to give back to others more wisdom, more empathy and more joy than one takes for oneself. We do not define our own reputation, our personal brand. Other people do this for us. And so, if our self-awareness and our reputation are to have any real congruency, then success can only be defined on a social rather than an individual basis. Our success is inextricably entwined in what we give to others and what we share of ourselves with others, rather than what we take for ourselves and what we hold on to of ourselves solely for our own enjoyment.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

David Gray: I worked, and continue to work half days. Sometimes it’s the first half of the day, sometimes the second. Sometimes I break the day into quarters. But I always try to work at least 12 hours a day. Except on Sundays. Then I generally only work six hours or so. In other words, I worked hard and continue to do so. However, one can only really work hard on a sustainable basis if one truly enjoys the work. So the first key is to identify your life’s work, your true mission or ‘vocation’ as it used to be called. After all, each of us is only here for a very brief period of time.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

David Gray: Figure out what you want to do in the way of a career. Meantime, while life throws other opportunities your way – which probably on the surface appear to have very little to do with that desired career – work like the devil himself to succeed at whatever work you are doing at any given time. There is no such thing as bad honest work. Nor is there any such thing as undignified honest work. So work hard and prosper.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

David Gray:

Sir Winston Churchill: Thank you, thank you, thank you Sir, for staying the course throughout the wilderness years when lesser men succumbed to grovelling group think.
Robert E. Lee: What were you thinking when you decided in favour of the Southern cause? Far too many men died and far too much unnecessary suffering was caused by this fatally flawed decision which prolonged the failed Southern War of Secession.
Prince Charles Stuart: Stay in France. The Highland Scots have sufficient problems without your intrusion into their already difficult lives.
Julius Caesar: Beware the Ides of March!
Socrates: Just drink the damn hemlock old man! You have poisoned enough young minds with your hypocritical musings – and will continue to confuse a sufficient number of older ones over the course of human time.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

David Gray: Joseph Campbell’s, The Hero with a Thousand Faces. This book brought me face-to-face with human mortality and our shared human journey, thus making clear the urgent need to become oneself, identify and follow one’s own ‘bliss’ and make a contribution to the human family, regardless of how humble or great that contribution might be.

David Gray: The movie would be, The Natural. I would seldom watch the film as I have already seen it at least three times. But it would act as a constant reminder to focus on whatever is both relevant based on my own gifts and yet ‘doable’ based on circumstances at any given time. The five books would include The Cat in the Hat by Dr Seuss so as to retain my sense of humour; Cervantes, Don Quixote (Penguin Classics) to ensure that I remember the absurdity of civilization; Foucault’s History of Madness so as to understand the process as I would surely go slowly quite mad; Kodokan Judo: The Essential Guide to Judo by Its Founder Jigoro Kano to give me a structure that might enable me to retain some degree of physical fitness, as well as the anthology, The Poetry of Robert Frost: The Collected Poems, Complete and Unabridged so as to nurture my soul even as my brain inevitably went a bit sideways.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

David Gray: The possibilities for self development and testing one’s own capabilities and limits.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

David Gray: Quiet reflection, exercise, and good wholesome food.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

David Gray: Enlightenment.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

David Gray: I am happy when…I am doing what I do best…practising Leadership Coaching.

David Gray: I am unusually direct in speech, as I consider trust to be a condition most quickly built upon a foundation of honest communication. At the same time, I take pains to be empathetic and non-threatening in my overall approach.

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Senior Level Executive China Gorman Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 09:30:52 +0000

Interviewee Name: China Gorman, CEO

Company Name: CMG Group

Website: http://chinagorman.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

China Gorman: I think of myself as a business leader. I’ve spent the last 30 years of my career in the human capital management space, mostly as a leader of consulting services businesses at the local, regional, national and global levels that provide services to organizations so that they are operated more effectively as it relates to their people management strategy and behaviours. So I run businesses that support HR in helping their businesses be more effective.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

China Gorman: I try always to be China Gorman, not sometimes I’m China Gorman the public speaker, sometimes I’m China Gorman the blogger, sometimes I’m China Gorman the consultant, sometimes I’m China Gorman President and CEO, sometimes I’m China Gorman the Chair of the Board. I decide to be China Gorman and integrate all those roles into my life because I don’t have a set of values for being the Chairman of the Board for the Council for Adult and Experiential Learning and a different set of values as a public speaker and a different set of values as a consultant. My values are my values and so my behaviour should be my behaviour. I think that’s how you integrate it all in. You’ll always be you and not A, B, C, that kind of thing.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

China Gorman: I love to travel. I consider myself a citizen of the world – travelling whether it’s in the US or around the world. I love to travel with my husband; he’s the best travel buddy ever. I read a lot, both in business and fiction. And I’m a huge theatre buff so whenever I’m travelling if there is live theatre then I’m ‘all over that’.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

China Gorman:

Always act with integrity.
Always assume the best about people and their motives and behaviours.
Always be true to yourself and always be yourself.
Be a student of the game which means never stop learning.
Always bring a solution. Don’t criticize or complain unless you have a solution. Always be part of the solution and not part of the problem.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

China Gorman: I ask a lot of people a lot of questions. I don’t by any means presume in any role that I play that I’ve got all the answers or a lot of the answers. I’m always going to assume that everybody is smarter than I am. I ask a lot of questions and try to empower others to work on their big ideas and their suggestions. It’s “If this were happening to you, what would you do about it?” Or, “You know we’re challenged with this particular issue, how would you solve it, where would you go, how would you do it?” It’s a way to engage colleagues and it’s a way to add to your databank all the time.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

China Gorman: My favourite quotation is by Mary Baker Eddy and it is, “To those leaning on the sustaining infinite, today is big with blessings.” And it’s my favourite because it always reminds me of the blessings that are all around us and the need for us to see and acknowledge them.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

China Gorman: The definition for success is being a positive impact in whatever situation you find yourself in – a personal situation, a business situation, whatever. It is about leaving things better than you found them, whether it’s a relationship, a branch office, a business, a market. And you do that with a lot of selflessness, it’s not who is right, what’s right, and you have to work hard, be reliable and have people understand who you stand for and only operate from a place of integrity.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

China Gorman: I think it’s always assuming a positive outcome. So with the Dallas experience I shared earlier, I could have turned around in two weeks after I understood the impact and import of the situation and run away from there screaming. But I took it as an opportunity to learn, to bring healing, to engage the team on a much more positive path forward. It was being able to see everything as an opportunity for growth – personal growth, business growth, knowledge growth, market growth. It’s being able to see things as positive opportunities, and then being willing to move forward into them.

For a few years, in one of the organizations that I was in, we moved for opportunities in the organization many times. I don’t know if you remember the commercial from years and years ago where three little boys – brothers – at breakfast, and the mom puts down a new kind of cereal and the two older boys think, “Ick that looks gross,” and then they look at each other and say, “I know, let’s get Mikey to try it, he’ll eat anything.” So for a while, I was the Mikey – this operation needs to be turned around, “let’s get China, she’ll go anywhere.”

My family situation was such that we could take those kinds of opportunities because of my husband’s career he was pretty portable, we didn’t have children so we didn’t have those kinds of issues to deal with that would make frequent geographic moves a terrible challenge. So seeing things as opportunities and being able to take them on for a positive outcome for everybody, I think is what it took for me to move forward as rapidly as I did in terms of responsibility and authority, particularly at some of the early ages that I did.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

China Gorman: For someone who is just starting out today I would encourage them that nothing is beneath you. Every job is an opportunity to learn – to learn from your boss, to learn from your organization, to learn some skills from a professional development perspective. So the big one is every opportunity is a good opportunity. As I work and mentor young people who are in college, here are the things that I generally tell them:

Establish a reputation for effectiveness regardless of the job that you are in. Be the go-to person. The organization knows that if they give you something it will be done and it will be done well.
Be a great team player and be more interested in the collective success, opposed to I did it, we did it.
Be a lifelong learner and learn your business inside and out, whether you’re flipping burgers, folding shirts in a retail establishment or you’re an intern doing research, or you’re in your first job out of college, or just getting your foot in the door, know the business of the organization, know how it makes money, how it innovates, how it fits in the competitive world. Because of the worldwide web, all of this data is available for every business. If you’re shy and don’t want to ask people questions you just go online. But know your business and know your organization and its place in the competitive marketplace.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

China Gorman: There are five and the questions are the same for all of them and it would be, “How did you continue to persevere against the difficult odds that you face as a leader?” The leadership question is, “How is it that you never quit, you continued to persevere?” The five people are:

Abraham Lincoln
George Washington
Mahatma Gandhi
Mother Teresa
Martin Luther King

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

China Gorman: On a fundamental personal level I have to say it’s the Bible because it’s the foundation of my values and my religious commitment and my religious life. But if you set that aside it’s even more difficult because my favourite book is the book I’m reading at any one time. Lately I’ve been reading about tribal leadership. I’ve been reading a great book called Re-engaged, but the one that moves with me from office to office, from organization to organization, is called The Leadership Challenge, 4th Edition by James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner. It’s a leadership primer. It talks about exemplary leadership, credibility and finding your voice, inspiring your vision, the very basics of how to be a leader.

China Gorman:

Five Books

The Bible
Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures
My own journal, a really big book because I would be writing in it every day.
Jane Austen novel
Large picture book of the history of painting so I’d have representation of amazing art.

I’m not somebody who watches movies over and over again, I’d rather read the book over and over again. I’d bring a CD of one of the Broadway production of Les Miserables, not a movie but a stage presentation. If I’m by myself for two years I want upbeat music, and I think I’d bring the Greatest Hits of the Manhattan Transfer.

For the two years I would work to maintain and improve my physical condition. I would be swimming, running, exercising, I would sing a lot to get my voice in shape, I would spend a lot of time in prayer and it would be cool to read the Bible straight through a couple of time.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

China Gorman: What people can do when they come together, and I was reminded of this just the other day. I was speaking at a conference in San Antonio and one of the other speakers used a video clip of a flash mob scene I think in Belgium in a big train station where all of a sudden the people milling around started dancing as Julie Andrews was singing “Do-Re-Mi” and person by person, the entire place started dancing together to this incredible music in this incredible place.

Click here if you cannot view the YouTube video “DANCE TRAIN STATION BELGIUM do-re-mi The Sound of Music – Julie Andrews”.

That kind of teamwork, creativity, application of will, these were people from all walks of life – young, old, professionals, students – that kind of coming together. It wasn’t spontaneous, of course they rehearsed it, but somebody thought of that, somebody engaged all of those people, with all of these different backgrounds to come together to do this creative, beautiful thing and that just makes me weep, and it’s not sadness, it’s awe, appreciation, inspiration.

It’s just like the first time I went to see Les Miserables on Broadway, and I’d heard the music, and yet as soon as the overture started I started “leaking” and through that whole production the amazing ability of man to come together in an inspired way to produce a thing of such beauty and inspiration is what excites me and partly why I love the theatre. When I think about Les Mis as an example, the costume, the singing, the acting, the stage, the orchestra, the whole vision, and the story all coming together, for me is so powerful a reminder of what’s good, what’s possible of what’s brilliant of the collective inspiration of man. That excites and inspires me.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

China Gorman: I spend time with people I think are smarter than I am which would be just about everybody. I listen and ask questions, try to get to know the real them in a real authentic kind of way.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

China Gorman: I would want to be as smart as Solomon and ask for wisdom.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

China Gorman: I’m happy when I feel like I’m living up to my potential and making the situation around me better.

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Tracy Matthewman, Internet Marketer & Social Media Trainer, Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 09:30:04 +0000

Interviewee Name: Tracy Matthewman

Company Name: Tracy Matthewman, Network Marketing Sweetie

Website: http://www.TracyMatthewman.com, http://networkmarketingsweetie.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Tracy Matthewman: I come from a corporate IT background, so I worked in IT for 15 years. After I had my daughter I had an opportunity to stay home and work for myself so I jumped at the chance. I started off doing web and graphic design and within a year or so I quickly moved into the internet marketing realm. Marketing has always been a love of mine, and the fact that it was mixed with internet and technology was right up my alley, so that’s what I’ve been doing ever since.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Tracy Matthewman: I brand myself so my website is TracyMatthewman.com which is my name. You go on that site and you basically see a picture of me at the top and in the content I create, every thing that I do, I am basically just myself. I make videos and when I write I don’t worry about whether it’s perfectly grammatically done. Obviously I try to make it sound proper so people can understand it, and I pay attention to spelling errors, but when I write or go on video I talk as if I am talking to someone one-on-one.

As an example, I did a video on a tip that keeps my blogging regular, and my daughter was in my office with me when I was making the video. She was very quiet, over the other side sitting in a chair. Toward the end of the video she came and sat in my lap and I could have stopped the video and started again, but it’s really about me and part of me is that I have a daughter and I work from home, so I allowed that part of the video to continue. I continued to speak, I gave her a hug and she was in the video. It was bringing my personal life into my business to some degree. People know I’m a real person and they get to know and relate to me better.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Tracy Matthewman: My down time is on the weekends, Thursday and Friday nights. Weekends in the summer, most of the time we spend at our cottage, so I’m in the woods by the lake. I’m living in this little house that doesn’t have all the luxuries of a traditional house, so I am living more in nature, so that’s one thing I do in my down time. I read a lot of business books, which doesn’t seem like downtime but for me it is because I love learning, so if I’m learning something, I’m really happy.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Tracy Matthewman:

To be present. This is a hard one because we are always busy. My brain is always on overdrive, so when I’m talking to somebody, when I’m doing something, I’m trying to train myself to be in the present moment. So right now I’m in this interview, I’m focusing on my words, and I’m focusing on your words. I’m being present in this interview trying to give everything I can. When I’m talking to friends, I really listen to them. I pay attention and try to give as much good feedback or energy back into that conversation as possible.
Having balance is one I mentioned before, spending equal amounts of time in all areas.
Setting goals that aren’t too big. I have struggled with this one. I set a goal that’s huge because Donald Trumps says to think big. Thinking big is great but when you set a goal that’s so big and you don’t accomplish it, and you do it again and again you get really discouraged. So I’ve started to set smaller goals that are achievable but still a reach for me, but not so big that when I don’t get it I become disappointed because after a few times you start to think of yourself as a complete failure. So it’s important to set smaller goals whether they are weekly monthly or even yearly. If you are only making $50,000 and you want to make a million dollars by the end of the year, that’s probably going to be a stretch. Set realistic goals with a certain amount of reach that will make you stretch a little bit.
Choosing to be happy which I mentioned already. When you’re feeling miserable, one of the tips I heard from someone is to look up to the sky, or if you are not near to a window, look to the ceiling of your room and smile as big as you can. A big, huge smile on your face and just stare at the ceiling for five or 10 seconds and that will help you to instantly feel better. Choose to be happy instead of waiting to be happy is important.
Saying no to things that are just going to distract you. Pick one or two things to focus on, and this is in terms of business, anything else that comes up you have to say no to, so you focus on the one or two goals and get them to where you want them to be. Learning to say no is a huge life lesson for people to learn.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Tracy Matthewman: One thing I do is communicate with my audience quite a bit, and I also ask them questions. I can do surveys or I can just look at their feedback. I always encourage comments on my blog, and so with that I get ideas. I also look at trends that are happening in the market place, and I listen to what other people are saying, and what other people are doing, and I look for trends in those types of activities.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Tracy Matthewman: “Be the change you want to see in the world” by Gandhi. This is ultimately my favourite quote because there are so many things in the world that I wish I could change, and the first step to changing them is by changing my own actions.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Tracy Matthewman: Success to me is the three areas that I previously said. In the wealth area, you have to be happy with the amount of wealth you have in your life. It’s not the first thing or the priority. In this country that we live in, this area of the world, if you don’t have a lot of money you may struggle, and a lot of money is relative. But if you do not have a lot of money, you’re unable to help other people as well. One thing I truly believe in is that if you have the capacity to make more money to help more people, I feel it’s the obligation of the individuals who have the capacity to do that – to put out into the world what they can, to get back so they can help people who may not have the opportunities that you or I or other people listening may have.

We have a lot of capabilities and just sitting back and watching those talents go to waste, you’re not helping anybody, and you’re not helping yourself, or the planet. Health is also a big thing because if you have all the wealth in the world and your health is terrible, what kind of life is that? But if you have your health and no money, that’s not much fun either. The last one is happiness and that’s where other aspects come in like balance, less stress, being emotionally and mentally stable, being spiritual and giving back, all those other things that are more for the soul. I think those are the three main things we should focus on in balancing our lives and when we do that our lives will be filled with abundance.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Tracy Matthewman: Ongoing learning and doing. I’m a doer and usually when I go to any training program, or buy a new training program, I’m drooling at the mouth to start learning it and then when I’m done, and usually before I am done, when I’m going through chapters and modules I usually implement things right away. The step is to first learn how to do something and then implement it right away. If and when you fail, learn from your failures and implement again. That’s the only way you’re going to get better.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Tracy Matthewman: Find something you love doing and figure out a way to make an income from it. And incorporating that with giving back to the world, we should be helping people or helping the planet. If I look at my own story, I love marketing and I love technology, and I’m a logical thinker. I come from a programming background, to take that element of my natural talent, combine it with marketing which is something that I really love, and combine that into a business that helps people. It doesn’t matter what your love is, somebody is out there being successful doing it, so it’s just a matter of figuring out what that is and how to do it.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Tracy Matthewman:

Albert Einstein because he was one of those people who was looked at by society as a little bit crazy, yet he turned out to be brilliant and changed the course of humanity.
There are some other people who again when they first came out with ideas they were often looked at as out of the norm of society and those are the types of people who create revolutions and transformations on the planet. I would say something to those types of people and it would be, “Thank you for being you! Thank you for being unique because your uniqueness changed the world.”

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Tracy Matthewman: There has been a lot just looking at my library right now. One book which had an impact on me is UnMarketing: Stop Marketing, Start Engaging by Scott Stratten. That was an excellent book and I realize that today’s marketing arena is so much more personal. It’s not the advertising it’s more based around a relationship experience or a personal touch. That book brought that home for me.

Another book I read a long time ago is The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari: A Fable About Fulfilling Your Dreams & Reaching Your Destiny. That book started me on the personal development road and it made me think differently because before that time in my life I was brought up as an average thinking person who didn’t have any sort of personal thoughts going on in her head. I led a fairly normal life. My parents weren’t necessarily all that encouraging of me to do whatever I wanted to do in life. It’s was “why don’t you become a secretary?” There was nothing really inspiring in my life. That book completely changed the way I think and the way my life was responding to my thoughts.

Note from Avil: I have changed this question a lot, so Tracy’s response is to one of the many iterations of the question.

Tracy Matthewman: I would make a little hut, have camp fires every night, eat coconuts and bananas, make friends with the monkeys, braid my hair, soak up the sun, walk barefoot on the sand, make or build something that took a long time because if I’m going to be there for two years I need something to keep me going for a while so I don’t get bored – something intricate and detailed.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Tracy Matthewman: What excites me is change. I love change and one of the things that I definitely want to do before 2014 is to move to another country. I have set that date for myself. To me, that’s a big change, and it excites me. For some people, those types of change are way too scary. So I love change and I love new things, and obviously those are closely related.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Tracy Matthewman: Recently with meditation and reading books that help me to get to know myself better, and also taking part in activities that are helping my personal mission in life. I mentioned my favourite quote, “Being the change you want to see in the world,” so I nurture my soul by being that change.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Tracy Matthewman: I would use it to change the dream of the Western world because the Western world right now is into consumption, and we feel like we have to have all this stuff, and because of that huge demand for stuff, it’s actually destroying our planet. And if I could change one thing it would me that dream that everybody have this idea in marketing that tell us we have to have all these things. So if we could change that dream of consumption to something that would help the planet, that would be great.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Tracy Matthewman: At the cottage in the hammock looking at my daughter barefoot playing in the sand.

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Heather White Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 09:30:14 +0000

Interviewee Name: Heather White, Director Membership – Large & Mid Markets

Company Name: Board of Trade

Website: http://www.bot.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Heather White: I’m a wife, mother, volunteer and a hardworking professional doing a job that I really like. I am married to a guy I really love and have two kids that I really love.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Heather White: I’m not sure if I do a very good job, but I do keep things separate. So when I’m at work, I don’t do personal stuff, and when I’m at home I don’t do work stuff. Sometimes I do some work stuff but I try not to mix the two. If it’s family time, it’s family time. However there is a transition time, so if there are issues at work, when I go home I will talk to my husband about them, so I need that transition period. But outside of that, there is no real integration per se because some of the things that you tolerate at home you wouldn’t tolerate at work and vice versa.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Heather White: I love to travel – driving or going away, and I love to read and I love to play sports. I play basketball, table and lawn tennis. I play whatever the kids play. I love movement.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Heather White:

Be sure of who you are.
Stay focused.
You always have to study and find ways to improve yourself.
I have a range of interests that have served me well. I don’t know if everybody can handle it but it has worked very well for me to have a wide range of interests.
Every person you meet you should treat them well andwith respect.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Heather White: I’m a groupie so I find conversations with people help me to generate new ideas because someone might say something that you can build on, or might trigger something for you. I also think that you have to listen to what other people have to say because no idea is off limit. That has helped me but the group dynamics has been my biggest idea generation tool.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Heather White:

“Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.” Doris Mortman

“We are what we repeatedly do; excellence therefore is not an act but a habit.” Unknown

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Heather White: Success is a very elusive term for me. I think you have to be good at what you do, so that’s a big thing and if you’re good at what you do you’ll make money at it easier than someone else. But I think it has to benefit more than just yourself. I grapple with the definition for success all the time. But I don’t think that success is in your wealth, it’s in products or services that you offer that can help a wide range of people, or even help to make the quality of someone’s life better. The formula for success, especially in the early part of your career, is to work hard, be open to suggestions on how to improve yourself, and be a subject matter expert. And never think that you know everything there is to know about that area.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Heather White: I don’t know if I’m successful, but I know that I’m good at what I do because my clients affirm that all the time. The people aspect was very critical for me and I was never intimidated by people who were not nice. I deal with senior level executives daily, some are rude and intimidating, but for the most part they are nice. I think it’s a reflection of how you treat people – I treat them with respect, but I am also very confident in myself.

I learn a lot from people and I evaluate criticisms. If someone said something about me I always analyze it and I take it back to my mentors, my family and say, “This is what someone said about me, is that how you perceive me?” I also have people in the office who I can talk to, and my mentors are good for me. Family and mentors play a key role in my life.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Heather White: I would say to be flexible in the early stage of your career. Be open to learning a lot of things. I’m a trained forensic chemist, and now I’m in sales and account management. I had to be open. You have to be open to opportunities, learn from others and get a mentor.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Heather White:

I’d like to have met Abraham and Daniel in the Bible because of their stories – moving from one place to next, to the unknown, and hearing the voice of the Lord.
Nelson Mandela has had an incredible life so I would like to meet him personally. I read his book Long Walk to Freedom and I thought the time he spent in prison all those years was simply incredible. I think his focus is amazing.
I’d love to meet Barack Obama and I’d love to meet him now when the markets are crashing. The challenges he has are pretty incredible.
I would also love to have met Winston Churchill.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Heather White: For me it has to be the Bible because it has nuggets of truth that have helped me. It’s tried and proven and it works like clockwork. It also helps you to focus on the real things in life and that’s my reference points. I have read some wonderful books, but nothing compares for me like the Bible.

Heather White: I have several praise and worship music CDs that I listen to so I would take one of those and I would take The Color Purple for the movie. I would take the Nelson Mandela book Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela. I love Debbie Macomber who wrote two books, one on giving and the other on how things work out in your life. I also read a nice book Return to Fitness: Getting Back in Shape after Injury, Illness, or Prolonged Inactivity that I really like.

For the two years, I would read and exercise because it would be a great opportunity to lose some weight. I would exercise, eat healthy and memorize the Bible. I would try to find other people because I have never had to be alone.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Heather White: People, experiences and how those two can come together.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Heather White: Reading, going to the spa and spending time with friends.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Heather White: I wish I had the resources, know-how and power to help my friends in Africa and make life better for them – people in places like Somalia, Darfur and Congo.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Heather White: I’m happy when I’m with my good friends and family and in an environment where I feel loved and people think a lot of me. I am happy at work, with the people I work with because I like them and we get along very well.

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Mentor Yourself With Shirley Adrain, COO, Societe Generale Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 09:30:07 +0000

Interviewee Name: Shirley Adrain, COO

Company Name: Asia Pacific Technology at Societe Generale

Website: http://www.societegenerale.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Shirley Adrain: I’m a mom and wife and I’ve got a career in investment banking information technology. In addition to that I sing, paint, cook and try to keep fit.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Shirley Adrain: I timetable everything. To cope with everything, I write a list and make sure that everything is timetabled. For me, that just gives me a bit more control – that I can cope with everything.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Shirley Adrain: I like spending time with my friends and family just relaxing, doing something with my daughter, generally outside doing some exercise.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Shirley Adrain:

Take responsibility for your actions and not blame other people.
Surround myself with positive people and use them to help me develop and act as a sounding board for issues.
Face my fears and do them anyway.
Take the road less traveled.
Have as much fun as possible.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Shirley Adrain: Have confidence that you’re going to have an idea and use lateral thinking. I always know that I’m going to come up with a solution, and I sit there for a while, and quite often I come up with the idea in the middle of the night if I haven’t thought about it and didn’t get the answer during the day. It comes to me in the night. But I think it’s knowing that you are going to come up with a good idea and letting your subconscious work on it. So it’s really harnessing the power of the subconscious mind.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Shirley Adrain: Well being Scottish, I have to go for a Scottish quote, “What’s for you wont’ go by you,” which means what’s for you in life won’t go past you so it’s having that confidence that you’re going to get success.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Shirley Adrain: Success is being what you want to be in life, being happy, achieving something and looking back at your achievements. The formula for success is simply believing in yourself. It has to be key; and choosing excellence, always trying to do the best you can, and learning and growing from your mistakes. You have to focus and continue to improve, that’s important.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Shirley Adrain: I’ve had some great bosses who I have learned a lot from, and it is good to have different bosses because they teach you different things. My job requires working with a lot of people and building relationships. I enjoy doing that, as well as building a great team is really important. A lot of my roles have been global and regional and in those circumstances it’s really important to build relationships with all the people in all the locations to spend time with them and understand their needs. And when you want to roll something out, when I have rolled things out on a global and regional basis, I spend time lobbying the key people before hand, before I ask for a decision to be made. It makes it that much easier and ensures that I deliver what they want, so they’ll buy into it.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Shirley Adrain: The world of work is now very different from when I started out working. Today it’s key to build a good network and to use the network to help you. There are so many people and not enough jobs so it’s about thinking about yourself and your personal brand, having that level of confidence and building that network and trying different ways to get into your field of work. And also getting as much coaching and mentoring as possible really helps.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Shirley Adrain: I guess I would want to meet inspirational people.

Nelson Mandela would be a great person to meet.
Gandhi has so many successes so I’d like to look at some of what he did.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Shirley Adrain: It is The Road Less Traveled because it’s a book that I’ve read a few times, and it makes you think about how you live your life and what decisions you make. It’s about where you are going in life. For me it made me realize that I had to look at my life mission statement, and where I wanted to go in life. I’m sure that once I’m clear on what I want to be doing in my life, to make sure that what I choose to do is in alignment with that, so when I look back I know that I’ve done the right thing, and can be proud of what I have achieved. I don’t want to be looking back and having a lot of regrets.

Shirley Adrain: I would want to learn a lot of things so I would take a couple of big books and spend time reading and thinking about them. I would also write a book since I would have so much time, and think about what I could give back to others.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Shirley Adrain: All the different challenges that life has. I have been very fortunate to work and live in different countries, so I’m continually learning about the different cultures I am exposed to. I think it’s about learning new things and I also like meeting new people. I like not knowing what’s going to happen next – uncertainty and change is something that I enjoy.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Shirley Adrain: Helping others and trying to make a difference! I get a lot of pleasure when I’m able to help others.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Shirley Adrain: I would wish that people could live together more happily – have more fun and get along.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Shirley Adrain: I’m with the people I love and I’m doing something that I’m passionate about.

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Runa Magnusdottir Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 09:30:12 +0000

Interviewee Name: Runa Magnusdottir, CEO & Founder

Company Name: Connected Women

Website: http://www.Connected-Women.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Runa Magnusdottir: I am an Icelandic woman, I’m an entrepreneur. I’ve owned companies, bought companies, started up companies, and sold companies throughout my adult life. Today I work doing things that I’m really passionate about and that is to coach business people mainly to help them discover their own passions in life and also help them on the personal branding and marketing side.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Runa Magnusdottir: I have one life and my personal and professional life are linked together. I’m very passionate about what I’m doing, and personally if I’m going to be authentic, if I’m going to be open, if I’m going to be working on the things that matter the most to me I can’t see how I’m going to divide my personal and professional life. It has to be together.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Runa Magnusdottir: Live, love and laugh.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Runa Magnusdottir: With my family. If not with my family it’s in the wilderness with my dog.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Runa Magnusdottir: I’m good at getting great ideas. My best ideas come to me when I’m traveling alone and I’m 30,000 feet up in the air, and there is no e-mail, no phone, and nobody talking to me. That’s where my best ideas come alive.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Runa Magnusdottir: “Whether you think you can or can’t it’s both right, you decide.”

Avil Beckford: How do you define success?

Runa Magnusdottir: I define success when you achieve the things you’re aiming for, and that you’re doing something that has a purpose for you. There has to be a purpose.

Avil Beckford: In your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Runa Magnusdottir: Having a very clear vision, be passionate about the things that you’re doing and believe you can do it. Have fun and you have to love what you’re doing because there are going to always be obstacles in the way and having fun makes it easier. And to become successful you cannot do it alone, you have to have people around you, people who believe in you. And you have to have the mindset that you can do it and that links to the belief.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Runa Magnusdottir: The steps I took to succeed in my field was to do a lot of personal development, find out what was important to me. I think it’s important for everyone to find their purpose.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Runa Magnusdottir: Definitely to look at the things that really make them happy. So often you see people, and I quite understand why that happens, they go to school to learn something that they’re not particularly fascinated about, but someone around them say that they should be doing that because of whatever the reason is. At the end of the day, it is they who are going to be doing the job, not the one who told them to do it. So find out what makes you happy, what it is that I can do more of to keep me happy because you know when you’re around happy people who are content with themselves. It’s a joy to be around them.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Runa Magnusdottir:

Let’s start with the cliché. I would really like to meet the Dalai Lama. That would be a fantastic opportunity to meet him because the whole history around him and the message he is giving the world is so unique. If I met him I would just sit there and listen to him.
I would really like to meet President Barack Obama.
I would love to meet Ellen Degeneres who I think is an amazing woman and the same goes for Meryl Streep. Both of them are so amazing because the images I have of them are independent women who do what they think is right and do it for from their heart. With Ellen, it’s the laughter that she gives, it’s such a gift.
The fifth person I’d like to meet is Jesus Christ. I would like to sit down and learn more, and there is probably so much missing from the story about Mary Magdalene and all the female powerhouse around Jesus at the time, I’d definitely want to meet him.

For President Obama, Ellen Degeneres and Meryl Streep I would invite them to come to Iceland.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Runa Magnusdottir: The Alchemist by Paulo Cuelho. The book was plain and easy and explained life in an easy and powerful way about how simple it really is. That was the message I took from it.

Avil Beckford: If you were stranded on a deserted island, what are five books that you would like to have with you and why? Summarize the book in two sentences.

Runa Magnusdottir: I would take the renowned books in the Icelandic Sagas (the history of Iceland from the Viking time) and finally have the opportunity to read, understand and be wowed like hundreds of thousands of people who have read them. I have never had the opportunity to do so and on a deserted island I would use that opportunity.

Avil Beckford: What one music CD and movie would you like to have with you (on the deserted island) and why?

The Beatles- Hey Jude (Official Video)

If you cannot view the Beatles YouTube video, please click here.

Runa Magnusdottir: I would take a one of the Beatles’ CD because I love to sing the Beatles songs. When I’m reading the Icelandic Sagas it would be nice to hum the Beatles songs. The Beatles CD and Icelandic Sagas would be enough for me and I would make my own movies in my mind.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Runa Magnusdottir: Everything literally.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Runa Magnusdottir: I nurture my soul by being excited about my life.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Runa Magnusdottir: More gendered opportunities in the world.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

I make other people happy.

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Rona Maynard, Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 09:30:28 +0000

Interviewee Name: Rona Maynard

Website: http://www.ronamaynard.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Rona Maynard: I’m a storyteller and the common thread in everything that I do, whether I’m giving a speech, writing an article or blog post, or leading a memoir workshop, is pulling meaning out of experience – my experience or someone else’s. We are all looking for meaning, I provide that.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Rona Maynard: When I was at Chatelaine magazine I published an issue on life balance, which is a concept I no longer believe in. I’m much more concerned about harmony – the two aspects of my life enriching each other. I find that when I’m loving my work, my personal life is richer and more rewarding. And when I’m loving my personal life, I feel more relaxed and empowered about my work. So the two really flow together, I do not separate them at all.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Rona Maynard:

Success is about knowing and embracing your greatest gifts. Your past successes always point the way to your future ones, so if you don’t know what comes next, look back at what you’ve already achieved, chances are there’s a clue in there. This is why I think life gets easier as you grow older because you just have more successes to look back on. When you’re young you are so untried.
Love the problems that come with a job or project. We are all trained to love the moments when everything is going well, but if you’re in the right place at the right time, you will also be able to throw your arms around the challenge and give them your all because those challenges are the best focus for your efforts right now. At Chatelaine I was actually happiest when I hadn’t yet mastered the challenges that I eventually did master. I love the thorniness of the problems. I loved coming to work every day thinking “how am I going to figure this out?” I was like the person who buys a fixer-upper house and gets a little bit bored after it’s already fixed up and has to be put on the market.
Know when it’s time to move on because if your enthusiasm is gone you’re no longer the person for this gig and sooner or later it’s going to show. That’s why I left my last corporate job when I did. It wasn’t easy, but I didn’t want people murmuring, “Oh she’s lost her touch.”
Give yourself a break. Take praise when it is offered. That is often very hard for women. Women are often trying to downplay their successes and give credit for it to other people. I have sat at so many awards dinner and watch women step up to the podium and thank 30 people. The men never do this. Own your successes when they come to you.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Rona Maynard: I love to go to movies and theater, I love books, and I love having wide-ranging conversations with friends that start up one place and end up somewhere completely different.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Rona Maynard: I don’t have a formal process I just keep my mind open. I’m always looking and listening for things that strike me as interesting. I daydream a lot, I believe in something I call power daydreaming. If you daydream about something a great deal, chances are it’s your subconscious trying to tell you something, so instead of pushing it away, listen to that daydream. It’s not a time waster.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Rona Maynard: This is from Richard Feynman and Nobel Prize winner, now dead, and it’s from a collection of his letters. “Any talent, any occupation that delights you, do it to the hilt, don’t ask why or what difficulties you may get into.” I was quoting that just the other day in my memoir workshop because it applies to anything – sports, writing or cooking you name it, or raising kids for that matter. When you become a parent you don’t know what’s going to go wrong with the child. That child may turn out to have autism, that child may have a serious physical illness, you don’t know, but you got to love it.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success?

Rona Maynard: Using your best talents to the fullest extent possible.

Avil Beckford: In your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Rona Maynard: Know your own powers, honour them, use them and be prepared for them to take it down some unlikely roads. Believe me I never thought that I would be giving writing workshops. When you’re bored, move on. Challenge yourself relentlessly, get comfortable living in a state where you’re always solving problems. Success is not about wrapping up things and wrapping a bow around them. There is a lot of struggle around success and when there is nothing to grapple with anymore, that’s not success that’s coasting.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Rona Maynard: What I’ve said previously about success, that’s what I used to attain success in my field and that’s what I’ll continue to use. And that’s what I would also recommend to people who are just starting out because people are schooled by teachers and parents to believe that if they are having a problem something must be wrong with them, they’re slipping up somewhere. Well, not necessarily, hard things are hard, and if you aim high you’re going to struggle. To try something new is going to feel uncomfortable at the beginning, there will be questions that you cannot answer, but leadership is not about having the answers, it’s about asking the right questions.

I guess that’s another important thing that I learned. When I was promoted to my first leadership position as editor of Chatelaine magazine, I did think that I should have all the answers, but then I came to realize that no one has all of the answers because nobody has ever stood in this place, with this brand at this juncture in history, I’m the first one. My success is going to be about figuring it out, and you do that by asking questions.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Rona Maynard: I don’t know if I really want to meet these people. I think that I would rather eavesdrop on them. I’d rather be invisible and observe them. They would be my invisible mentors.

Definitely Queen Elizabeth I, arguably the most powerful woman who ever lived.
Bob Dylan because he’s on a never-ending quest and he doesn’t fear failure.
Shakespeare for sure, and in my opinion he really did write all those works and I want to know who would possibly be such a fountain of energy, creativity and originality.
Martha Graham because she was the Picasso of modern dance. She reinvented dance and she has a phenomenal capacity to pull great work out of other people even when she could not afford to pay them very much, and that speaks volumes. She’s certainly a role model of mine.
I’m going to pick Caravaggio whose painting I discovered on a trip to Rome recently. He was a Renaissance painter who broke the rules, told great stories through paint as no one ever had before. He was a violent person and had a bad character but he produced great art.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Rona Maynard: Oh there were so many, but the first was absolutely the The Diary of a Young Girl because this book told me that someone like me could change the world. I was a teenager when I read it.

Avil Beckford: If you were stranded on a deserted island, what are five books that you would like to have with you and why? Summarize the book in two sentences.

Rona Maynard:

Well The Diary of a Young Girl for sure.
The Complete Works of Shakespeare and I think that would keep me busy forever. I keep vowing to go back to Shakespeare because his work does really contain the world, but I haven’t returned to them since University and while I’m on a deserted island I would.
A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry, that’s a Canadian novel from the 90s that beautifully encapsulates the power people have to draw strength from each other in unimaginable, horrific conditions. This book turns a cliché like the strength of the human spirit to blazing reality.
Any collection of stories by Alice Munro, I do not care which one. Too Much Happiness: Stories
The Complete Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm

Avil Beckford: What one music CD and movie would you like to have with you (on the deserted island) and why?

If you cannot view the Bob Dylan YouTube video please click here.

If you cannot view the Incendies YouTube movie trailer, please click here.

Rona Maynard: There is a newish Canadian movie which came out last year called Incendies. It’s a profound and brilliant film about secrets in a family and about forgiveness. I’ll pick any of Bob Dylan’s compilation from any period.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Rona Maynard: Serendipity!

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Rona Maynard: By seeking out the company of people who believe they are entitled to happiness. That’s what’s going to Verity is about for me. And also by seeking out the thoughts of people who have drawn meaning from their experiences which is what films, books, music and art are about.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Rona Maynard: I wish that everybody I care about could be alive and well for as long as I am alive.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Rona Maynard: I know I’m going to have a wonderful meal and a fine bottle of wine shared with someone close to me.

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