The Invisible Mentor

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“You want to align yourself with people who believe in you and can see things in you that you don’t see in yourself.” Carol McManus, America’s LinkedIn Lady

Invisible Mentor: Carol McManus, America’s LinkedIn Lady

Company Name: LinkedIn Lady

Website: http://www.linkedinlady.com, http://ywait4success.com/ 

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Carol McManus:  I’m an entrepreneur. I left the corporate world in 2007 to start a coaching, consulting and leadership development company. I built that company to six figures using social media. My business has moved over to social media expertise and I’m now known as America’s LinkedIn Lady.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Carol McManus: It’s easy especially now. I have always been a balanced person. I learned many years ago that you have to turn it off. Whatever you choose to do, whether it’s family or friends or personal activities, or the pets or the children, you have to separate that from business. In my case, there comes a certain point in the day, and it’s toward the end of the normal business day, sometimes it’s 5:30, sometimes it’s 6:30, or 7:00 pm, but when I turn off business, I’m done for the day and the rest of the evening is devoted to me and my husband. We don’t have children at home so it’s really about us, our time together. That’s my world and it doesn’t necessarily apply to other people.

My advice from my own integration, you want your business to support your personal life and your personal life to support your business. At the end of the day you have to set the rules on how you balance them because if you let either one get out of balance, the other one is going to suffer. 

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it? 

Carol McManus: My down time is creative time for me. I have a couple of hobbies. I like to write so I often write. I love to read, but my physical creative activity is I love to do flower arranging with silk and artificial flowers and make different types of decorations. I find that very therapeutic so it doesn’t involve other people. It’s time for me to go into myself and be creative and do things which in my world brings beauty and satisfaction for me, but it has nothing to do with anything else that’s going on around me.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Carol McManus:

1. Always be true to yourself. I remember my daddy telling me when I was a little girl that at the end of the day, the only person you have to sleep with is yourself. What he meant by that is you always have to be responsible for yourself.
2. My father was very passionate about me being able to be independent, not that he didn’t wish for me to be married, and have children, and a wonderful life, and someone to share my life with, but because he grew up in the Depression he was passionate about wanting me to stand on my own two feet. That’s a second lesson I learned and it goes hand-in-hand with being true to yourself.
3. Don’t take yourself too seriously and always be able to laugh at yourself.
4. You have to have humour in your life. Without humour a life can be pretty dismal and boring, and it makes you a dismal and boring person to be around so find ways to bring laughter into your life. And if it doesn’t come naturally to you then seek people who are fun to be around and share that joy. Go buy a video of I love Lucy TV series, which will make you laugh.
5. We only have one life, and the richness, satisfaction and depth that you get from life – and we don’t know when that life is going to end, life is very precious and for some it ends far too soon, and for some who live healthy lives it goes on forever. You only have one life and you are the only one who can ultimately control that, so having goals and knowing what it is you want to accomplish and what you can give back to the world, what is your legacy going to be, and I don’t mean legacy etched on Mt Rushmore with the presidents’ profiles because for most of us it’s nothing nearly that dramatic. But for all of us, leave a legacy, even if it’s only with your own family, or your neighbours or the people you interact with. But being conscious of that, and taking ownership for what you leave behind is the other big life lesson for me. And it’s something that I try to work on a little bit every day.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Carol McManus: I will give two answers to that because it comes up in two forms. I come up with a lot of ideas just when I’m in my own head. That could be when I’m listening to music, taking a walk or driving in the car. I let my mind wander, go, and think creatively. When I’m doing some of these crafty things I find I’m also creative and come up with great ideas. But having said that, the development and the richness of those ideas, come to fruition when I bring people into the conversation. I love to brainstorm and debate with people. I want them to challenge me and take the seed of an idea and help me improve it because I know I can’t do it all by myself. I’m very much an open book, so it’s letting me be creative in my own head, and then testing the market, but really using other people’s attitudes and experiences and impressions so that you can improve on what you thought was a really good idea to begin with. It always gets better.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Carol McManus: It’s a quote from Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, either way you’re right.” I’m paraphrasing a little bit but it’s so absolutely, 1,000 percent true. If you think you can do something, you’re going to put yourself subconsciously on a path to make it happen. If you think you can’t do it, you’re going to subconsciously put yourself on a path that it will never happen. Based on everything you’ve heard so far, you always try to put yourself on a path that you really have to believe in it and the tools and resources will come into your life to help you let things become real. If on the other hand you think you can’t, guess what, that’s going to be the reality.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Carol McManus: I define success as happiness. I think success is whatever ultimately makes people happy. And it’s defined differently for different people. For me, it’s the joy of being able to sleep peaceably at nights, that I’m able to provide for myself and the family, that I’m getting personal and professional satisfaction out of what I’m doing, that I’m influencing and impacting other people’s lives, and that I’m having fun doing it. So it’s all packaged together, it’s not just monetary, or about specific accomplishments, and it’s not just about joy, it’s all of that wrapped together. And I think every person needs to define what that is for themselves, and I don’t think anyone can say, “This is the formula for success.” If there is a formula, you need to define the pieces of what success is for you.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Carol McManus: Because I have a training background, I have always been the best student. I’m a teacher’s dream if you will because throughout my entire adult life, long since I left the college classroom, I’ve always taken courses or programs or conferences to be around people, and I think that has contributed to my success. My field has changed, my specialty has changed, it’s gone from sales to operations to executive to entrepreneur or to coaching to consulting to social media, so my career has had many dimensions to it. But at each level, I think my success came because I was first and foremost a good student, and invested the time, effort and energy through reading, listening to others, observing or mentoring under others, how they did what they did, that I could become the best at it that I could.

And if I found that I was on a path that didn’t feel comfortable, it didn’t feel right, or it was taking me off track, then I would stop and take another direction.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Carol McManus: Invest in yourself and continue to learn whatever you are learning. But in today’s world, I’m going to add something else to that answer, is that you always want to keep your eyes and ears open to the possibilities. We’re in a very different world today than the world I grew up in. When I grew up, there was an expectation that you got an education, you chose a career, and that sort of became your life path. And I was fortunate in that, that was the direction my life took, and it was only at the later stage of my life that it took a new direction. And what I mean by that is social media because when I left the corporate world four years ago, if someone told me that I was going to be a social media expert, I would have laughed. It wasn’t on my radar screen, but the world we’re in today, we have to be nimble and flexible, times are changing, things are happening at a rapid rate, technology has dramatically changed. The speed at which things happen, the speed at which we communicate, I think anyone, regardless of age, if you’re starting out today you certainly want to be goal oriented, but at the same time you want to know that those goals are not etched in stone, that other doors and opportunities may open, and you want to be open to those possibilities. So don’t get too locked in, that you miss the acres of diamonds that are right under your feet.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Carol McManus: I love this question because I could come up with 50 people that I’d love to meet.

1. Abraham Lincoln: He was not a popular man, he was not a popular president, but he had leadership qualities that were so critical, and a true turning point in this country’s history. I would love to sit and chat with him about what he thought were the solutions to the country’s problems at the time, what were the key decisions and how did he make those decisions to lead the country in a more positive direction.
2. Jack Welch: He is an extraordinary story, and there are many well-documented corporate executives in America, but Jack Welch because of his history of being able to do turnaround situations and to turn lemons into lemonades. I read his book, but beyond the heart and soul of what made him tick, and the kinds of things that kept him up at night that allowed him to accomplish what he accomplished.
3. Martha Stewart: I would love to sit and have a conversation with her. Martha is a lightening rod. I find as I talk with people, people either love her or hate her, but what you cannot deny about Martha Stewart is that she is an extraordinary self-made woman with self-made success. She is focused and very successful and continues to reinvent herself. She is a model for always seeing the next opportunity. Again, I want to know what makers her tick, how does she think, what kinds of people does she surround herself with, what are her tolerances and intolerances. The other thing I admire about her, and it may be because of the space that she’s in, but she seems to be someone who has this balance of what’s important to her in her personal life and what gives her joy, and her dog comes to mind. She is famous for her chow chow dogs, her home and farm, but at the same time, she is passionate about her business and what drives her business and her brand.
4. Lou Holtz: Because coaching is part of my repertoire, I heard Lou speak on multiple occasions. I’ve listened to his videos, he to me is the epitome of an inspirational coach and someone who in multiple challenges, not just Notre Dame but University of South Carolina and other places he was over his career, he has great quotes and great inspiration, and I would like to sit and talk to him about the lessons he had learned as a coach. I would actually ask him some of the questions that you asked me.
5. From a more introspective level and understanding beyond the surface and the obvious. I tend to be focused on the now, but I’m a reader and follower of Deepak Chopra’s teachings and if I could ever have an hour to sit and talk to him, to really understand at a deeper level how I can understand myself, and take myself to a deeper level, that would be joyous.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Carol McManus: That’s easy for me because the answer is the The Art of War by Sun Tzu. It’s not a new book by any stretch of the imagination. It’s been out there for a very long time. To me, the BI is the guiding light, the “bible” for business, life, for how to communicate , negotiate, strategize, for all of the things we are talking about, that are a part of my business  and personal repertoire – it’s all right there in that book and I’ve referred to it, reread it many times. I try to read it once a year.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the two years? T he prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million?

Carol McManus:

Two Years

Survival would be first and foremost because you have to have shelter and you have to feed yourself. For me personally, having a creative soul, I would write, write, write because I think if you have two years to spend with yourself everything that’s inside of you, and everything that you can imagine needs to come out and needs to be shared. That’s how I would spend the majority of my time when I wasn’t in survival mode.

Five Books

1. The Art of War, Sun Tzu
2. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (Collins Business Essentials) – It’s a marvellous book because you have to have that expectation that you are in fact going to get off this island. That might take some negotiation and persuasion, skills that have served me well. It’s a book that I read regularly because as human beings that’s all we do is communicate and negotiate with people.
3. Animal Farm by George Orwell: There are lots of good lessons there on how to survive.
4. Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman: Or something similar to that. It’s a compilation of poems. It’s very inspirational and I think if you were on a deserted island you would have those moments where you needed to reflect and see the joy and beauty in life.
5. Milton Berle’s Private Joke File: Over 10,000 of His Best Gags, Anecdotes, and One-Liners: It’s the greatest book ever. He is a renowned stand up comic.

Movie and Music CD

My all time favourite music CD is Tapestry-Legacy Edition (2-CD) by Carol King. I find all of the music she has written over the years, she didn’t sing, she wrote more than she actually sang, but that was such an influential, and remains an influential CD to me because there is so much inspiration and hidden messages in the music. I have listened to it over and over again and never get tired.

The movie is a tough one because there are so many to choose from. The one I choose would be the absolutely most outrageous, that would cause me to laugh and that would be Blazing Saddles (30th Anniversary Special Edition) because it is truly one of the most ridiculous movies ever made but every time I see it I never cease to laugh. I never cease to see new nuances and I think that’s something I would want to spend my time with.

Blazing Saddles – Movie Trailer

If you cannot view the YouTube video, please click here.

Carole King – Tapestry

If you cannot view the YouTube video, please click here.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Carol McManus: Life and people. I love being around people. If there is a challenge that I had, going from the corporate world to being a solopreneur, and commuting versus working out of a home office it was separation from every day having the interface with people. So I have crafted my business so that is part of my day now because I think the opportunities in life are endless. We don’t happily live in this world on a deserted island by ourselves and if you don’t take joy in the people who are around you and appreciate something about everybody regardless of who they are, where they came from, what they do, we are all a unique special person. I just love to talk to people, find out what’s of interest to them and it’s part of that expanded life – our universal life together. That’s what gives me joy and what I try to bring to the people around me.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Carol McManus: Reflection and meditation. It’s supplemented by everything we talked about – the reading and the music and the creative outlets. The real nurturing comes from the downtime, the quiet time, the reflective time. It’s a learned skill that has served me well. I wish I had learned to meditate much earlier in life because it does really amazing things to center you and recharge your batteries so you can continue to move forward.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Carol McManus: Good health for me and mankind. And where that comes from, it starts from a very personal place as I watched my father’s declining health. I had my mother come live with us in her later years with her declining health, her sister also because my aunt didn’t have children. As a young child, I went through health issues with my grandparents on both sides of the family. As I get older and the bones start to creak, things start to go wrong, you realize that the joy of life and the ability to do the things you want to do is all grounded in good health. I do believe that all the health issues we’re facing today, whether it’s cancer, heart disease on one end of the spectrum and things that alarm me are autism and ADHD at the other end of the spectrum, I personally have a strong belief that a lot of this is environmentally influenced. If I had one wish for the genie, it would be to wave her magic wand or whatever she uses to give good health to everyone because once you have health then there are no boundaries to what we can do.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Carol McManus: I’m talking to people like you because you stimulate me and I’m absolutely being sincere about that. This has been a delightful experience and what I mean by that is that interaction with other really smart, savvy people, that stimulate me, that cause me not to not only give and share my thoughts, but forces me to go in, think about and test myself and my own boundaries.

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Book links are affiliate links.

Video Credits: Blazing Saddles – Movie Trailer Uploaded by zuguidemovietrailers on Apr 15, 2010, Carole King – Tapestry Uploaded by raymaclean on Dec 29, 2008

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• The Invisible Mentor Interviews Chris Kulbaba, Career and Employment Counsellor, Resume Writer, Facilitator, Public Speaker & LinkedIn Entrepreneur Part Two

Wisdom of Life: “Pick the right people to surround yourself with, it will set the bar, encourage and support you. However, if you choose the wrong people, they will bring you down a different path,” Invisible Mentor, Jeanne-Marie Robillard tells her 12-year old son.

Interviews for Mentoring: Key Lessons from Jeanne-Marie Robillard

• Be grateful for what you have in life and count your blessings.
• Prepare for your day the night before, to help to decrease stress the following day.
• Network, network, then network some more, and never let little things such as shyness or “introvertedness” stop you. (Note to self)
• Allow people to get to know the real you.
• People rarely remember what you said to them, but they remember how you made them feel.
• Give a new job sufficient time – at least two years – before you decide if the fit is right

Invisible Mentor: Jeanne-Marie Robillard, Senior Account Executive

Company Name: National Speakers Bureau/Global Speakers Agency

Website: http://www.nsb.com 

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: I am currently a senior account executive, which is an agent to public personalities and celebrities for their speaking engagements. I’ve been doing that for 11 years. Prior to that, I was an agent to the performing arts community – groups like the National Ballet, Canadian Opera Company, to helping place them into seated environments for audiences to enjoy.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: It’s not always easy, is it? It’s hard when people are passionate about their work and passionate about their family. I would say that I’m trying as best as I can to compartmentalize tasks, responsibilities, chores, commitments and obligations, so setting time aside to do specific tasks as opposed to running around doing too many things for too many people.

I try to put my phone away at home in the evenings and try not to look at it as often even when I’m tempted to. I log on to the computer and try to get an hour or two later in the evening. I get so much done preparing for the following day that I go into the next day feeling confident to start the day in a safe place if you will.

It’s a constant challenge, and it’s one of the top topics we get asked for speakers, is work-life balance and it will continue to be so as we improve technology.

 Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it? 

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: Entertaining absolutely! I love entertaining. I love to have people over. I love to cook. I love to shop for food. I love everything around food, going to the market etc. Planning a dinner party and setting the table, and picking which guests will love each other, another form of connections. As you can see, I apply that everywhere, and yes that would be my favourite thing and I’d like to record those times in a book as well.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: It’s a little bit of what I’ve already said.

1. Be honest.
2. Approach life with intent, purpose and meaning.
3. Even if you’re shy or introverted, try your very best to get out and about. Take someone with you if it’s hard. Having another person with you will be the best thing you ever did. They can brag about you, you can’t really brag about yourself because that comes off a little odd. They can pull you away from someone who may not be the person you need to speak to all night if you’re trying to network. They can also be a great support if you’re feeling a little nervous about the experience. So get out and meet as many people as you can. People do want to help each other – inherently it’s human nature. It’s like so many things in life, the more you do, the more you try, the more chances you have on landing on what’s more meaningful for you.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: I believe we come to better decisions and better results when we do things in a group. Pulling a team together and brainstorming, sending a mass email out to those in your network who have a common experience with what you’re struggling with, reaching out for ideas and bringing those ideas together. I also use the Internet quite extensively and subscribe to many different chats and blogs.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: That’s hard for me because I live a life that’s filled with quotations because of the people I represent. But if I had to choose one it would be, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel,” Maya Angelou, American Poet.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: Success is when you’re truly happy doing what you’re doing. When you’re happy with your life, you’re proud of your life. Proud in a good way, that you’re contributing. Contributions to your community, your workplace, your family and your friends are essential to defining success. The formula for success is trying as many things as you can in life. It’s trial and error.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard:

1. Asking a lot of questions to the right people, that means asking questions to a lot of people until you figure out the right people.
2. Taking chances.
3. Staying in a job and seeing it through for at least a good two-year period. I think that’s very important that full cycles be lived. A calendar year is a full cycle, rarely do we start in January so you are landing in the middle somewhere in that second year, so give it the time it deserves, unless it’s clearly for some interpersonal reasons. Give it the time it deserves and give yourself the chance you deserve.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: I would give the same advice to someone just starting out. I would say, ask around, you can make an educated decision, but once you’ve made that commitment to something, commit to it and give it your best shot. And it also looks a lot better on a resume quite frankly.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard:

1. Maya Angelou
2. Oprah Winfrey
3. Nelson Mandela
4. Madam Michaëlle Jean (I represent her and have met her a handful of times but would love to get to know her better)

They are truly good people making a difference in the world, and I would tell them “Thanks!” I would thank them for their great contributions to bettering the world.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard:  One of our current speaker on the roster is Izzeldin Abuelaish who wrote I Shall Not Hate: A Gaza Doctor’s Journey. It’s a bestseller and an unbelievable book that I highly recommend to anybody and everybody.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the two years? T he prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard:

Five Books

1. I Shall Not Hate: A Gaza Doctor’s Journey on the Road to Peace and Human Dignity
   
2. The Five People You Meet in Heaven
3. Maybe I’d like to learn more about the Bible.
4. Ulysses
5. Jane Eyre

One Movie and Music CD

Big Night for Big Night movie and Big Night: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack.

Big Night – Trailer

If you cannot view the movie trailer for Big Night click here.

How I Will Spend Two Years

I would spend the two years learning, reading all the classics if I could. I would like to learn more about classic literature, religion, and learn to meditate.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: People, I love that everybody has a story. My current husband is an architect, and he laughs when I say that I love looking at office towers or high-rise office buildings, or condos. I think, “All those stories in there, that’s so cool.” So people for sure.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: By surrounding myself with positive people, and finding the time to be alone to refuel when I need that time. I go to bed quite early by most people’s standard. I try to head to bed by 9:30 pm on weeknights, and I read. So that’s how I nurture my soul.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: To help the disadvantaged, to make less suffering in this world.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Jeanne-Marie Robillard: I’m helping others.

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Other articles you may enjoy

• The Chief Mentoring Officer Interviews Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay, Part Two (theinvisiblementor.com)
• Chief Mentoring Officer Interviews: Do Big Breaks, Mentoring, and Hard Work Equate to Success? Part Two (theinvisiblementor.com)
• Adventures in Learning: DIY Mentoring Program, Episode Two (theinvisiblementor.com)
• The Chief Mentoring Officer Interviews Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay (theinvisiblementor.com)

Book links are affiliate links.
Video Credit: Uploaded by MahatmaCartman on Dec 2, 2010

Name: Tina Brillinger, President & CEO

Company Name: Global Food Safety Resource Centre Inc.

Website: http://www.globalfoodsafetyresource.com

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and other aspects of your life?

Tina Brillinger: As a fairly new business owner, this is something I struggle with daily, often feeling pulled in so many different directions. I am trying to make changes to strike a greater balance between my work/life balance. As time passes, I am getting better at this, without feeling guilty and knowing my mental and physical health depend on it.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Tina Brillinger: Time is spent with family, friends and my Sheltie Jewels. I enjoy cooking, travelling, entertaining, reading, movies, scuba diving, golfing, skiing and Nordic pole walking.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Tina Brillinger:

1. Regardless of circumstances, your past does not have to dictate how your life will turn out. The beauty of being an adult is that we have the freedom to make our own choices; eliminating those things or people who are not good for us.
2. A good education is a prerequisite to a life well lived, never to be taken for granted.
3. Everyone deserves a second chance – give yourself permission to have that second chance, that is, a second marriage, new job.
4. We learn more from our mistakes than the things we do correctly.
5. What constitutes a family depends on who is being asked; outside regular blood-relatives, a family can be represented through non-blood relations, friends who become family of the heart; same-gender partners – in essence anyone with whom you have a strong emotional connection that cares about you deeply.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Tina Brillinger:

1. Research by always reading interesting books.
2. Brainstorming with others to come up with “out-of-the-box” ideas.
3. Driving in my car where I’m relaxed listening to music.
4. Scribbling, sketching or writing down as many ideas as possible .

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Tina Brillinger: “Givers have to set limits because takers never do” (unknown). Generally all people fall into two categories: givers and takers. Most givers don’t know how to set limits opening themselves up to constant takers. Takers like to find givers who don’t have set limits because they will take advantage of them and their generosity sometimes leaving the giver in a compromised situation. If you are a giver, set a limit on your time, money or energy that you can reasonably afford to give, and won’t compromise your well-being or circumstances. Develop a backbone because once that limit has been reached, takers will challenge you to cross it. Make a commitment not to let others cross it, unless it’s life threatening. If you set limits, chances are takers will not see you as weak and exploitable.

“Be the change that you want to see in the world” (Gandhi). In my view, there is no room for armchair pacifists in this world – they will never make a change to improve their circumstances or the world around them. If you truly want something to change then you must not wait for others to take action; be the impetus for change, no matter how big or small it is. The one thing successful people have in common is the belief that they alone can make a difference and they don’t wait around for others to act.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Tina Brillinger: Courage + Determination + Hard work + Perseverance = Success!

Success comes from a feeling of satisfaction in knowing you’ve reached your goal.

Avil Beckford: What steps did you take to succeed in your field?

Tina Brillinger:

1. Listening to what others had to say.
2. Continuous learning, no matter how irrelevant or seemingly benign it may be at the time.
3. Determination, strong work ethic; perseverance and courage.
4. Recognizing talent; surrounding myself with people who know more than me.
5. Making a business plan.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out today?

Tina Brillinger: There is room at the top for those who do things well. Keep high standards, be creative, be open to change and opportunities. If you don’t derive a certain satisfaction out of what you do then change it up. Don’t be afraid of failing….be afraid of belonging to the status quo!

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people (living or dead) that you’ve always wanted to meet, whom would you choose? And what would you say to them? 

Tina Brillinger: 

1. Elton John – Your music comforts me and has touched my soul when I hear it
2. Nelson Mandela – Your strength and determination to fulfill your vision has made your country and world a better place. Thank you!!
3. My Great-Great Grandmother who was full-blooded Algonquin – I’d like to hear about the kind of life she lived with my Great-Great Grandfather a French-Canadian. My family dates back to circa 1642.
4. Thomas Edison – I’d Ask him about his process for coming up with brilliant ideas
5. Indira Gandhi – Ask whether she would change anything in the course of her life, knowing she would be assassinated.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply? 

Tina Brillinger: A Long Way Gone, Memoirs of a Boy Soldier, by Ishmael Beah – This is a first person account of his life as a boy soldier, one of the 300,000 child soldiers living in Sierra Leone. Ishmael’s narrative voice had such clarity when describing how he became indoctrinated as a boy soldier, what he witnessed and how he survived. Riveting, yet disturbing; Ishmael’s takes the reader down his road to hell describing how the rebels use children to commit genocide against their own tribes. His determination to survive and escape, through what can only be described as hell on earth, was extremely courageous. His willingness to share his painful story with such honestly is admirable. After becoming rehabilitated, Ishmael joined the United Nations, as a Spokesperson to help end the practice of recruiting child soldiers. Surviving such hell to tell his story is inspiring.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the time? The prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million. 

A toothbrush, hair accessories and sun hat; two deck of cards; pens and journals for writing; Movie: Fried Green Tomatoes, Elton John’s Tiny Dancer Album, my mask, snorkel and fins plus my dive knife, and hiking boots.

If you cannot view Elton John’s Tiny Dancer YouTube video, please click here.

The five books:

1.  The War of the End of the World, Mario Vargas LLosa

2.  Identifying and Harvesting Edible and Medicinal Plants in Wild, Steve Brill

3.  The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger

4.  Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte

5.  Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, by Malcolm Gladwell

What I would do for two years:

• Get lots of sleep until I was fully rested, enjoy some solitary time unfettered by a rushed world.
• Take my mask, fins and snorkel and explore the underworld around the island.
• Go hiking in search of edible and exotics plants, cook interesting dishes.
• I would read books, play backgammon and solitaire and write my memoir.
• Have many fires and sing songs, make up different instruments with whatever was available.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Tina Brillinger: Things that visually delight me, nature, travelling to new places, learning something new, pushing limits and taking risks, that is, sky-diving, scuba diving, starting my own company, reaching a goal.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Tina Brillinger: Being with people who comfort me (my husband, children and friends), music, and being in water (bath, scuba)

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Tina Brillinger: Ten years of great health and the financial resources to travel and participate in greatest adventures: Europe on the Orient Express, take an underwater tour of the Titanic or orbital flight, African safari.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Tina Brillinger: I am underwater, scuba diving with my dive buddy and husband Randy – the serenity balances and soothes me, against an otherwise chaotic world.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

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Elton John’s video uploaded by vikomak.

Interviewee Name: Helga Iliadis, Assistant Deputy Minister

Company Name: ServiceOntario

Website: http://www.ServiceOntario.ca

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Helga Iliadis:  I was born in Germany and have been living in Canada since I was two. I’m currently married to an incredible Greek gentleman, 37 years this coming September. We have two sons, and my career for the past 39 years has been completely focused on customer service.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Helga Iliadis: Over the years I would say that the lines between my personal and work-life have become blurred. For example, I consider my colleagues – when I have worked with them over an extended period of time – as my extended family. And the work that I do often brings me every bit as much joy as the personal aspect of my life that I treasure. The way I integrate both aspects of my life is by prioritizing, so that I can spend time with my loved ones and the people that mean the most to me. And my other strategy would be to multitask and make every minute count, including those minutes that are meant just to relax.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Helga Iliadis:

1. Identify the values that you wish to shape your life.
2. Constantly strive to be the best you can be.
3. Give without thought of return, you will be amazed at the outcome.
4. Whatever is meant to be will be.
5. Happiness is a matter of choice not chance.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Helga Iliadis: I spend time with family and friends that I love. I love to listen to beautiful music and I really enjoy communing with nature, and if I can combine any of those things it’s even better.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Helga Iliadis: I’m an extrovert so I tend to love bouncing ideas around others, whether I’m working with just another individual or a creative group. I find that in that environment one idea sparks another and before you know it a great plan emerges.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Helga Iliadis: There are a lot, but the one I would pick is, “Whatever you want, give it away.” The reason why this quotation impresses me so much is that it’s simple yet profound and it applies in so many areas of your life.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Helga Iliadis: Success is in the eye of the beholder, it really means achieving your goal, whatever that goal may be. And I find a repeatable formula for that success is first of all to be clear about what you would like to accomplish, next in order to achieve serenity to recognize which elements in that situation you have little to no control over, and it’s important to accept that you don’t have control over those elements and then just choose how you’ll respond to them. After that you want to identify all of the elements that you do have control over and brainstorm options for yourself, and then finally you would choose the option that will most likely help you achieve your goal. The beauty is that if perchance the first time around your plan doesn’t work, you are not a prisoner you can always revisit.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Helga Iliadis: I learned that there are an infinite amount of paths to success. For many people, I know that revolves around having a very deliberate one-year, two-year, five-year plan for your career, but for me what has worked over the years is to completely focus on the work I’m doing in the present, to work at becoming the best that I can possibly be in that role, and I find that when I take that approach and if I leave myself open to continuous learning, the opportunities for the future have always presented themselves.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Helga Iliadis: This question took me back to the question about the formula for success. That is the advice I would share to be really clear about what you’d like to accomplish, think about what you can’t control and how you choose to respond to it, look at everything that you can control and brainstorm your options and then choose the option that will help you to be successful.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Helga Iliadis: I am not going to go to the place of famous leaders, rather I’m going to think a little smaller. I would love to meet four people, my two sets of grandparents whom I never knew. If I had that privilege I’d like to sit down and hear about their lives, what they went through, and I’d like to hear all about my mom and dad and what they were like as children. That would be a precious treasure.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Helga Iliadis: There are so many wonderful books out there, but one in particular that stuck with me over the years I would say is Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It was a wonderfully, easy read. The power that was in it for me was the concept of living a principled life, that your principles are essentially the bedrock upon which your life is built, applied to both your personal and as well as your work-life. That would be it.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the two years? T he prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million?

Helga Iliadis: I’m always an optimist so I’m going to assume that the deserted island that I would spend my time on would sustain a simple life, so I’m not going to take basic supplies. I would take a suitcase full of books and if I have to stick with things that fit in a suitcase I would also take a little kitty-cat for company. I thought to myself, “if only my husband could fit in the suitcase I would gladly take him as well.” As to what I’d do with all that time, who knows? again it would be a matter of communing with nature, reflecting within and continuing to learn.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Helga Iliadis: The limitless possibilities! And particularly, the limitlessness of human potential, that’s what I find truly exciting.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Helga Iliadis: The things I love the most are listening to beautiful music and being at one with nature, those are absolute balm to the soul.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Helga Iliadis: That was easy, health and happiness for my children.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Helga Iliadis: I’m doing something that I love with people I love.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

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Interviewee Name: Mike DeSousa

Website: http://www.mikedesousa.ca

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Mike DeSousa:  I am a Career Social Media specialist who helps recruiters & employers find superior employee talent FAST using Social Media.  As well, I am a Public Speaker who trains Non-Profit Agency staff on how to market their job-seeking clients, helping them to find work FAST.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Mike DeSousa: My work is based on the personal aspects of my life; I see them as both revolving around helping others. I consider myself the same person in my personal life and in the other aspects.  I actually seek to integrate them together, which my wife doesn’t appreciate — she looks at work as something she does outside of her personal life, and believes in keeping them separate.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Mike DeSousa:

1. Work your buns off
2. Give yourself a lofty, challenging goal — don’t set the bar too low
3. Out-strategize others
4. Ask more of yourself & set tight deadlines
5. Tie in your daily activities towards your long-term goals & reward yourself each time you complete  a tiny step

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Mike DeSousa: Reading, learning, surfing the net, working on my passion (“Public Speaking”). No ‘downtime’ for this guy. Sometimes watch some movies, though I’d rather do something active than escape to the “mind candy of TV”.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Mike DeSousa: I make connections between different areas that I read; stream-of-consciousness thinking. Forced Morphological Connections — generating categories of aspects of different things & recombining them into something new.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Mike DeSousa:

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.”

It reminds me of our decision-making process for life “decisionism,” and reminds me of the life decisions that I’ve reached… Being a contrarian, I also choose to take the path that “was grassy and wanted wear”. Given that Robert Frost also suffered with depressions, it feels that both him and his words speak to me.  Personally, I rhyme like Dr. Seuss!

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Mike DeSousa: My definition of success is making a difference in others’ lives, reaching your personal goals, making the world a better place, and working towards the flexibility to make your own choices through financial independence.  The formula for success? No one has the same formula — each one has to find their own personal formula based on their strengths, needs, interests, etc.  My personal formula entails hard work, strategic thinking, creating value for others, having an unquentionable thirst for knowledge, discipline, pursuing your passion, and following your strengths.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Mike DeSousa: I used an existing media (Social Media) and apply it into a new arena.  I researched and ‘power-learned’ this new area, developed innovative workshops, my Brand, started presenting at Conferences, building relationships, and helping others. I’d find opportunities found me in proportion to the amount that I helped others and took a sincere interest in them, giving without expecting something in return, listening to others with my Heart/Brain/Gut/Soul, identified areas of value & gaps for them, offering them solutions, and tieing in my Value Proposition to their needs while focusing on the benefits for them.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Mike DeSousa: Identify exactly what you want that is “play” and fun that also pays the bills (your end goal), help others achieve theirs, wake up early to work towards your goal, tie in your daily goals to your end goal, become an expert through reading/watching YouTube videos/doing, market yourself, and have fun. Do what you love that also pays the bills or that can help you pay the bills.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Mike DeSousa:

1. Jesus Christ:  I’d say “teach me”
2. Alexander The Great:  “What was your secret to getting men to follow you?”
3. Winston Churchill:  “What led to your greatness as a speech-writer and orator?”
4. My (recently deceased) Dad: Tell me your life story and that of our family
5. Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, Pierre Trudeau, or Brian Mulroney: What were your secrets to winning in politics?

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Mike DeSousa: Either of the following three…

1. The Bible (no one single story — the impact of cumulative parables, interlinked for a common message of Love
2. The Little Prince, for its simplicity and many parables, that takes on new meaning with each life event that you experience
3. The Art of War, on winning, outworking, and out-strategizing everyone.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the two years? T he prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million?

Mike DeSousa:

Five Books:

1. One of Winston Churchill’s
2. Compendium of Marvel Super Heroes origins in English & Spanish
3. Learning Mandarin/Cantonese
4. Learn Yoga & Chinese
5. Some comedy book

• Movie: The Shawshank Redemption
• Music CD: With my MacBook & iPhone with satellite capabilities & iTune, I’d download unlimited music selections
• One Suitcase: Sunlight-powered satellite MacBook tripped out with a lot of software titles to learn, laptop with extended battery life, mosquito net, mosquito-free clothes, solar-powered iPhone with satellite wifi connectivity, soccer ball, weather-appropriate clothes
• Travel on case: Soap, Razor, nail clipper, nail file, pen, anti-mosquito device

For the two years  I’d spend the time learning (languages, tai chi/yoga, history), playing soccer, dancing, listening to music, playing music (forgot to mention a harmonica & a flute), Skyping/Google Circling Friends, contacting Invisible Mentors, journaling, developing a portfolio of products & services, reading comic books, becoming an expert on investments… I would be doing what I love to do, rather than pandering to the audience of viewers; one must remain authentic.  “To thy self be true”.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Mike DeSousa: Being of service to others.  It makes me so happy to know that I have helped to “unstick” someone from a state of complacency or a limiting belief, and that I have given them hope, taught them new knowledge, and motivated them to develop new skills and use one of my ideas to propel themself forward in life.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Mike DeSousa: I learn, help people, speak professionally, listen to music, think, feel, swim….

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Mike DeSousa: 1,000,000 more wishes, of course!

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Mike DeSousa: I use my strengths to help others discover and act upon their talents and strengths.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.