The Invisible Mentor

Posts Tagged ‘fathers’

What do you do when you want to clear your mind, when you you want to let go of all that “stuff” that gets in the way? To be the best that I can be, and unleash my inner genius, I reflect on my life a lot to make adjustments when necessary. And, I also read and write. Last summer I wrote a series of poems, and I would like to share one with you. Let me know what  you think.

A Daughter’s Farewell by Avil Beckford

I can’t remember you ever hugging me.

I can’t remember you telling me you loved me.

I can’t remember you kissing me.

But I clearly remember you criticizing me,

Leaving me, even when I was scared.

You weren’t there, even when you were there.

You were emotionally distant.

Sometimes I wonder if you were a figment of my imagination.

You must have been real, because you were my father.

The battle within me rages because I was invisible to you.

I no longer want to be invisible.

I want to be a real person to you.

Just once I would like you to tell me how you feel about me.

Just once, I would like to hear you say “I love you”.

Just once, I would like to feel your arms around me.

But you can’t really do that, can you?

You died before I got to know you.

You died without asking for my forgiveness.

You died before I forgave you.

I try to make sense of it all,

All the wasted moments, all the wasted years,

Both of us waiting for the other to extend a hand, a forgiving hand.

Our stubbornness got in the way, and now you’re gone.

If I got one more chance to see you again, what would I do?

Would I hug you?

If I got one more chance to see you again, what would I say?

Would I tell you I love you?

If I got one more chance to see you again, could I forget past hurts?

Could I forgive you?

Since I do not have the chance to see you again, I say,

“Farewell my father, rest in peace knowing that I love you.

Farewell my father, your daughter has finally found peace.”

What are your thoughts about forgiveness? What kind of relationship do you or did you have with your father?

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