The Invisible Mentor

Posts Tagged ‘events that shape your life’

Interviewee Name: Irene Becker

Company Name: Just Coach It

Website: http://justcoachit.com 

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Irene Becker:  I’m a coach, a speaker and writer who helps people to work, communicate and lead happier and smarter lives in high stress, high change environments.

Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?

Irene Becker: A typical day for me is exciting, challenging, it’s a gift. I think life’s a gift. I take each day as a blessing and an opportunity to be of service to others.

Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

Irene Becker:  Life has taught me that during the good times as well as the bad to look at the world with wonder and awe. I look at my challenges as my teachers. The unique model I developed is helping people use strengths and stressors to build what I call the 3Qs: Enhanced IQ- greater Ideation and action ability; Enhanced EQ – emotional mastery, communicating for influence, leadership resiliency; and SQ – the values and alignment that is the foundation of everything. So I’m not teaching the 3Qs, I live them.

I developed a routine of exercises that helped me build all three areas – my mind, my emotional strength and my values alignment, and it helps recharge me, reset my brain, motivate me and I think everybody needs little steps they can take, that take a couple of minutes everyday but don’t cost anything that they can use on a consistent basis to strengthen their Qs.

Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

Irene Becker:  I wouldn’t trust in people because they had a big position or a big name. I think in my younger days, I initially perhaps was too trusting in people with big positions and names and presumed they had knowledge and integrity that wasn’t necessarily so. I think that was one of my greatest learning lessons because in terms of being focused and motivated and putting together a plan and executing it, those are things that I have been good at. But it’s the relationships that we make, make or break our lives and our businesses and careers. So knowing whom to trust and not to trust is critical.

Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?

Irene Becker: For me, the most important discovery I’ve made is the power of love. And it’s both personal and business because I’ve had a year of incredible growth, great successes and also great challenges, and what I came to realize is that everything really boils down to love. Abraham Maslow talked about this in the Hierarchy of Needs. I don’t think anybody has come to the fore to really change that at all. After our survival needs have been met we want to be loved and we find that through our work, we find it through our relationships, but some people find it by consumerism – having things, getting things and are deluding themselves into thinking they are going to love themselves more thinking this is love. But when you boil down to it we all want to feel loved.

I think that I have discovered that the power of everything is the power of love. Everything comes from that, it’s the foundation for everything – love directed at service, love directed at letting go of one’s need for validation and transforming it into contribution. Love means letting go of judgment, love means accepting one’s strengths and deficits, love means embracing the gift of life, love means becoming a consistent learner, love means also developing the ability to lead in the face of crisis. Even from a marketing perspective, if you are in a business, you really have to reach out and give love to your clients so I think love is the foundation for everything.

Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

Irene Becker: I think the three greatest threats are very similar to what a lot of people would say to a contracting marketplace and economy, differentiating oneself in a crowded marketplace because the price of entry into the marketplace is lower than ever before. You can market almost cost-free, anybody can set up a website but you now have more people in the same arena vying for business. And I find the third challenge is lack of time to do everything I’d like to do. I’d like to make more of a footprint, contribute more, and there is only so much that one person can do. How do I handle it? I handle it by really focusing on my goals, objectives and what I can do now and using every change, challenge, opportunity and success to learn more, share more, to contribute more because to me that’s what’s important.

Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?

Irene Becker: I have a whole range of services and programs that help clients achieve results in their businesses, their careers and their lives. But it’s not only that they achieve results, it’s that they achieve results that help them work smarter and be happier in the face of change, multiple challenges, results that help them optimize, humanize and monetize their talents, in a whole new arena where everything is changing. Or in the face of a leadership change or career transition, or communication challenges, I think the ability to help my clients see both their strengths and challenges differently in a way that takes them forward, smarter and happier is really unique to my 3Q model.

Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?

Irene Becker: I have had incredible successes. I was the first women CEO of a steel company in Canada and I have had incredible challenges. Being the first woman CEO of a steel business in the late eighties, when I was a “minority”, who was discriminated against, had all the odds against me, and making a go of it was a great challenge. But I’ve also faced physical illness, going from being incredibly wealthy to starting from ground zero. I’ve been to the back of the woods and out again, and I’ve managed to do it with my head, heart and soul in alignment. I’ve gone through some incredible successes and I’ve gone through life shattering challenges. And I think for both of those, more so from the challenges, I discovered the power of learning to see our challenges with different eyes that take us forward.

I’ve discovered my passion for the 3Qs, for really finding ways to help myself enhance my potential intellectually and to develop greater mental focus, greater action-ability, and then to build the whole emotional intelligence piece – resilience, creativity, communication and to always tap into the most important Q for me are values in alignment, our spiritual quotient. So I learned to process and see challenges differently in a way that help the Qs. And the reason why I’m so passionate about the 3Qs today is that they have taken me to where I am now. They have taken me from the back of the woods to the front, and I think that we are living in the most incredible times.

What Charles Dickens said hundreds of years ago, “These are the best of times and the worst of times,” in a way he was visionary because I don’t think you could find another phrase that would aptly describe the times in which we are living. Two months ago there was a man who had a face transplant. We’ve now reached a point where we think we can cure breast cancer. During the drought in Texas they managed to use urine for water. I could sit here and talk for an hour about the absolutely awesome, incredible things that are on the foreground.

On the other hand, London is burning, we have chaos in the world, we have 11 million people on the brink of starvation in Africa. We face worldwide economic crisis. The United States is in economic peril. We have incredible challenges. However, we also have incredible opportunities to become change leaders – to use all our challenges, all the learning and the knowledge to make a positive difference in our world and our community. I think we can only do it when we look at our problems differently and build our Q strengths.

So whether it’s from a personal view of our life, a business perspective, or in a large enterprise we need to become 3Q leaders, and I’m really passionate about that because we’re going to be tested and challenged.

Somebody asked me about a month ago when are we going to stop riding the sea of change, we’re not, it’s going to continue. There is no more ladder to success, the ladder’s been broken. We’re going to deal with constant change and it’s going to come faster than ever before. So the way we see problems and challenges have to change and I think that’s implicit in building our Q strengths.

Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

Irene Becker: When I think about big breaks, I think that my biggest break has come from my faith in God – in the eternal source of love and faith in all good things. Ironically, my biggest breaks have been tied to my greatest challenges that I’ve faced. My father died and left me $580,000 of debt, against all odds I made a go of the business. I’ve had incredible successes that started out as unbelievable challenges so I can’t say that an individual gave me a big break because my journey has been one of incredible challenges. I would say that the challenges gave me a big break! They gave me the ability to build my vessel, my soul and my strength. And understand if I’m going to move forward, if I’m really going to achieve my potential, it has to come from inside out; and from developing a new perspective, an attitude that helped me transform frustrating, challenges into proactive solutions to move forward.  It is our ability to look at both our strengths, and of equal import, our challenges with new eyes that is the catalyst for our true potential.

Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

Irene Becker:  I guess one of my biggest failures was going from a net worth of millions to starting from ground zero and having to do really menial jobs just to support my children. What did I learn? I learned sometimes life throws a brick at us, crimes happen, unjust things happen and you can just lose everything you’ve worked hard to acquire in a blink. It happened to me, but then I realized that the most important thing is not failing, it’s failing forward. It’s taking that experience and learning from it. I guess in a way that was the genesis of the 3Qs. I remember in particular, I was working cleaning a toilet on my 40^th birthday and I looked up and it was a far cry from the millions and the black tie affairs, and everything else and I thought, “You know what, I love myself from inside out,” because for whatever reason I’ve been forced to start again and I never gave up my faith, I never gave up my hope, I never gave up my courage, I never gave up my integrity, and those are really the richest gifts we have. It taught me that the greatest riches we have, and the greatest potential we have, come from inside out, and I think it was a really important lesson.

When I was at the height of my career, I had a home in Westmount, in Forest Hills, it was in a decorating magazine. I got to do a lot of philanthropic work, and I was a really driven person – I was a real type A and people used to say, that I must feel an incredible sense of accomplishment. There is a very insecure person behind every type A personality. We need people who are Type A. But what really pushes someone to be an over achiever? What pushes them is the emotional need to be validated. There is some kind of wound there and they have to keep on proving to themselves. It’s really great in terms of empire building. It’s great in terms of success, and I’m not negative about that because we need people who are going to be Type As to build businesses, to build educational institutions to make our world better, to drive the economy. But, from another perspective, when you come to a personal place, when you can stand naked with your truth, you realize that you’re not going to take the accomplishments, you’re not going to take the BMW or the Mercedes to your grave with you. We all came into the world the same way, and we all are going to leave the world the same way. What we will take with us are the values we’ve put a fence around, our ability to live with integrity, our ability to hang on to the faith, hope, courage, humanity, integrity that nobody can steal from us. And it doesn’t matter if you’re sitting in the C-Suite of if you have 10 cents to your name, nobody can steal that from you. And those are the greatest riches.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

Irene Becker:  I have had a lot of tough decisions so I want to speak in generalities a bit, because the toughest decisions I’ve had to make – I mean there have been tough business decisions, in running an organization you always have to make tough decisions. The toughest decisions I’ve had to make were the decisions I had to make as a parent, the decisions I had to make about the children I loved more than anything. Do I make a decision that people want me to make, or do I do the right thing, even though sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing to do? Whether it is in our personal relationships, or whether it’s in our business, to step back from the need to be validated or the need to please, or the need to make things nice, and to do the right things is so hard. But I have made tough decisions based on what is the right thing, what is in alignment with the greatest good, what is in alignment with my SQ-spiritual quotient-values.  In the end, I believe that all good decisions are founded not in what we want to achieve, but in alignment with the values the SQ that is critical to sustainable success.

And the tough decisions have come initially with really tough circumstances, but in the end they’ve been successful decisions, whether it was in my business, my career, decisions I had to make in terms of my children. The tough decisions we make that are in alignment with our greatest values are never wrong decisions. And in the end, I think that they come back to us in very special and surprising ways as a gift.

Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

Irene Becker:

1. My father’s death: He was the only family I had, shaped my life in a terrific way.
2. Having to face the challenge of running a business against all odds and making a go of it certainly shaped my life: It was a unique experience because for the first time in my life, I was a “visible minority”. I’ve always been a minority because I happen to be Jewish, but people don’t meet me and say, “There is a Jewish woman.” But for the first time in my life when I took over the steel business, I was a young woman in an industry with no women and I was discriminated against as soon as someone met me. I think that experience taught me how to move beyond that kind of obstacle. It taught me a lot of personal tools. It also built what I consider one of the greatest leadership and human quality, empathy. I got to understand what it’s like to be really discriminated against before you even open your mouth.
3. I also think that my children’s birth and bringing them up was an event that shaped my life in such an incredible way. I really think that our children are gifts to us, they’ve taught me so much and I’m blessed about love, life and learning. And I think the ultimate task of sharing is when you have kids, and it’s an incredible test of a lot of things.

So I think those three things – my father’s death and having to live without family, taking over the business against all odds and being a “visible minority” and becoming a mother have been three events that shaped my life in a tremendous way.

Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

Irene Becker:  I’m proudest of surviving and thriving with my faith, courage, integrity and humanity intact. I am equally proud of having been blessed with a skill set and a career that has helped me help others engage their true potential. I’ve faced a lot of tests. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I’ve stumbled, I’ve fallen, I’ve had my face in the mud, I’ve been to the back of the woods and I’ve also been incredibly successful. Throughout it all, I’ve refused to give up my faith, courage, integrity and humanity. And I think that’s what I’m most proud of.

Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?

Irene Becker:  In an absolutely tremendous way because I did have one mentor – my father. He was my mentor, my best friend and he taught me and gave me the courage to never let go of my values, or my humanity and to recognize what’s truly important in life and to appreciate, and the foresight to reflect and learn always. I think that they are all important gifts.

Avil Beckford: What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

Irene Becker: Our values and our ability to live them is everything. We cannot see past the next challenge, we cannot truly live, lead and succeed to purpose without living our values.  Leadership means service about self, and in serving we not only lead and succeed we’ll also attain that ever elusive but critical sense of fulfillment and purpose that we need to live and work at our best.

Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

Irene Becker:

• Look within! Tie an anchor around your courage, faith, integrity and humanity and never let go…use them to find your true power; power to validate from inside out rather than to seek the validation of others.  Power to make a difference in whatever way you choose.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Irene Becker: Compartmentalization. I really balance my life and I’ve learned to organize my thoughts and my time. I think one of the things, and it’s really hard for us is that our time is so stretched, but we need time to reflect. We need personal time and we need to balance that in a way that makes us more effective and happier. 

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Interviewee Name: David Gray

Company Name: DSG Associates

Website: http://www.dsgassociates.ca/ 

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

David Gray:  I am unusually direct in speech, as I consider trust to be a condition most quickly built upon a foundation of honest communication.  At the same time, I take pains to be empathetic and non-threatening in my overall approach.

Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?

David Gray: There is no such thing anymore.  Every day is different.  The commonality from one day to the next is that I get up around 6 am to take my West Highland white terrier, Eddie, for a morning walk.  Some days I am then in client meetings until as late as 9 pm, other days I spend the entire day reading books and articles on leadership, career coaching and related topics, doing research on the internet, or reflecting on various client situations and challenges.

Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

David Gray:  I truly enjoy my work as a Leadership Coach, a Career Consultant, and as a Sales Leadership Educator.  (I detest the word “Trainer” unless it is applied to the training of dogs, and even then I have reservations concerning its use).  As a result, the motivation flows directly from the work itself.  If you enjoy what you do, then you will naturally find yourself “in flow” without any great difficulty.  Of course, many if not most people either do not engage in work that they enjoy and thus do not get into a ‘flow’ state of mind; or, they have only a general idea as to how to make daily work actually ‘work’ for them on an individual emotional basis, and so they do not experience and appreciate the positive aspects of their work as fully as they potentially could do.  But I digress…

Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

David Gray: I would work a lot more diligently in High School and in my Undergrad years at University.  Then I would go to Law School.  After that, I would try to retain a modicum of humility – although that would probably be difficult, because even as it was, with all my youthful ignorance and indolence and all those missed opportunities, it still took about ten years of hard slogging in the Sales profession to put a significant dent in my hard-headed arrogance!

Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?

David Gray: The most important discovery I have made is that each of us comes fully equipped for the life we are destined to lead.  The challenge is in figuring out what equipment we have, and then in figuring out how to use that equipment.  In my case, my sheer determination and doggedness enabled me to overcome a lot of obstacles.  My natural optimism was also an important asset, especially in rough times.

Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

David Gray: The biggest threat to my business is complacency.  I have reached a point in my consulting career wherein most of my business comes to me via referral.  Although very nice, this state of affairs does tend to breed complacency.  Rather than wait for the possibility of a downturn in this situation, I need to get out and do more business development.

Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?

David Gray: As with any successful consultant, the most unique aspect of my service is the specific bundle of talents and experience that I personally bring to the table.  Rather than attempt to duplicate this unique set, in associating with other independent consultants under the DSG Associates umbrella, I try to identify other individuals who also bring a unique blend of talents and experience to the table, thereby enriching our shared clients in a manner that a more traditional consultancy approach simply would not be able to accomplish.

Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?

David Gray: The major challenges I have faced in life can be boiled down to two components:  First, doing things the hard way.  Second, not listening to my own intuition.  Both of these difficulties were more predominant in my younger years.  As I have ‘matured’ (hopefully!) the challenges I have faced have tended to be more of an external nature rather than intrinsic to my own being.

Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

David Gray: I have had a number of good breaks.  No one break made my career come together so to speak.  The people who gave me those breaks all had two things in common: they were in a hiring position to say ‘Yes’, and they believed in me.

Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

David Gray:  One of my biggest failures would have to be having not believed sufficiently in my own capabilities when I was a young man.  As a result, I tended to either miss opportunities completely or else under-perform as compared to my real potential.  I gradually learned that self-belief is one of the foundations of success.  This realization has in turn enabled me to help others realize this fundamental learning.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

David Gray:  One of the toughest decisions I’ve had to make was to set out on my own as an entrepreneur after spending over twenty years working within more structured working environments.  Initially, this decision entailed a steep learning curve and a lot of serious concern as to whether I could hack the new course, and if not…then what would my options be?  As it turned out, working on a totally independent basis where I am completely responsible for all my successes – and failures – suits me to a ‘T.’ I am responsible to my clients and to myself.  There is no one looking over my shoulder second-guessing my decisions or trying to micro-manage my daily moves.

Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

David Gray:

1. The first was actually a non-event.  Despite competing to the best of my ability in individual and team sports of various kinds, I never won a First place in any of them either on my own or as part of a team.  That experience taught me that the process is at least as important as the outcome.
2. The second was leaving home as a young man on an abrupt and unexpected basis.  Although already quite self-sufficient for the most part, circumstances dictated that I had to get myself fully organized on a completely independent basis financially whilst also commencing my first year at university.  I am immensely proud of the fact that I continued my education on an uninterrupted basis whilst both supporting myself and paying for university by working two jobs at the same time.
3. The third would have to be my marriage to Anne, my life-partner and the inspiration and foundation for all of my subsequent success, whether in business or in life on a wider level.

Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

David Gray:  Learning, while in my mid-thirties, how to paddle a white water canoe on an expert basis, having never previously been exposed to serious canoeing of any sort.

Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?

David Gray:  Indirectly for the most part.  There was one gentleman who mentored me on an ongoing basis in my early thirties as a professional coach when I was working as a corporate executive.  This learning provided the foundation for my own coaching approach and style.  However, unfortunately although much of the advice this individual provided was very insightful, on a couple of occasions he got the whole picture wrong.  I trusted him and so the result was some very difficult learning experiences for me completely at my own expense.  These experiences taught me to be very careful to ensure that my own clients never feel compelled to act on my advice, but rather, to sift through the input from all external sources on an independent basis and then arrive at their own informed decision.

Avil Beckford: What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

David Gray: Think before you act.  Or as Abe Lincoln noted, “If I had ten hours to chop down a tree, I would spend the first six hours sharpening the axe.”

Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

David Gray:  If your natural instinct is to rely more on lateral, gut-feel observations of people’s statements and actions than on facts, then trust your own intuition in arriving at the deeper truths.  If on the other hand you are an individual who tends to rely more on a detailed and linear observation of facts as they unfold on the ground, then trust your sensory capacity to sort through to the practical truth.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Interviewee Name: Tracy Matthewman

Company Name: Tracy Matthewman, Network Marketing Sweetie

Website: http://www.TracyMatthewman.com, http://networkmarketingsweetie.com 

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Tracy Matthewman: I come from a corporate IT background, so I worked in IT for 15 years. After I had my daughter I had an opportunity to stay home and work for myself so I jumped at the chance. I started off doing web and graphic design and within a year or so I quickly moved into the internet marketing realm. Marketing has always been a love of mine, and the fact that it was mixed with internet and technology was right up my alley, so that’s what I’ve been doing ever since.

Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?

Tracy Matthewman: A typical day would be connecting or meeting with clients, working on client work, doing research for them. I’m also involved in a health and wellness business so I connect with my team. No day is ever the same, so I’m either writing content for my blog or creating products or making videos, responding to customers, things like that. It’s a mix of things.

Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

Tracy Matthewman:  I have a giant whiteboard on my wall, which not only has lists and to-dos and things like that, but it also has a list of some of my short-term goals – what I want to achieve for the week or the month. But I also have on my wall a large bristol board piece of paper where I have planned out my life map, but it’s really for the current year and it covers a number of areas of life, not just business but relationships, contribution, spirituality, health and so having those things right in front of me every day keeps me motivated. The other thing is that I really love what I do so a lot of times I don’t really need motivation because it’s something that I’m naturally motivated to do, so I’m lucky in that regard.

Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

Tracy Matthewman:  I would try to have more focus on fewer things. I’m one of those people who tend to take on multiple projects and although I had had success in them, I would have been more successful if I picked one or two and worked on them as opposed to three or four or sometimes five things. Focus is definitely one thing I would do differently.

Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?

Tracy Matthewman: One of the things I really started to think about, I think I read or heard it somewhere, and it really stuck with me is that happiness is a choice. Everybody is striving to be happy. And in life there is wealth, health and happiness, those are the three aspects of life that I feel are really the only avenues that people need to focus on to have an entirely abundant life. But the happiness part of it is really a choice, in every moment of your day, you choose whether you are happy or not. If you are feeling unhappy it’s because you are choosing to be that way. That was a big wake-up call for me.

Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

Tracy Matthewman:

1. Things are changing so quickly that there is always this fear that you’re going to get left behind, which isn’t the same in a lot of industries. In a lot of industries things are very static or change very slowly but with the internet and technology, things are changing so fast. Although I try to keep up as much as I can, there is always that fear that things move so fast that it’s impossible to keep up.
2. One of the things that I’ve strived to do is to brand myself, and when you brand yourself, your competition almost becomes nil because there is nobody else like you. When you brand your own personality and characteristics into your business there isn’t going to be much competition so I try to keep that at the forefront of what I do so I don’t have some of those common threats that more traditional businesses may have.

Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?

Tracy Matthewman: My background is in IT, and the first year of my business I did web and graphic design, so if you are looking for a web or graphic designer that has online internet marketing skills that in itself is a unique service. And the other way around is if you are looking for someone with internet marketing skills, and they have a wide knowledge of technology, website and design elements, and things like that, those two aspects provide a pretty unique service. It’s not very often you see both of those in one package.

Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?

Tracy Matthewman: When I left my corporate job the challenge was starting my business. I had never really done that before even though I had smaller, summer type businesses, but never something I had to create off the ground to generate a full-time income. So the challenge was starting a business. It sounds so simple but it can be scary if it’s your first time. And how did I resolve it? To ensure that I had lots of clients I went to local networking events where I met a few key people who I developed fairly strong relationships with and it turned out that those people referred clients to me and pretty much for the first four years of my business that’s how I got customers.

Another challenge that arose a few years into the business was the marketing aspect. This was when more people were paying attention to internet marketing, and I was developing websites for my clients, and quickly started to realize that these websites were not contributing to the bottom line. I knew that going into the internet marketing realm was going to be beneficial for my clients and also for myself. I invested what was a big chunk of money at the time in some training. I could have struggled and learned it myself kind of way, but I went on a 3-day intensive course. When I left that course I felt like I was years ahead of what was going on at the time in internet marketing. So that put me in a strong position and that was a good lesson because I have continually been investing in myself and my education and it has continued to make me really knowledgeable about my subject and what’s valuable to my clients.

Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

Tracy Matthewman: I didn’t really have a big break. But I would say my big break was when I got terminated from my corporate job. It was a negative situation obviously when you get let go or they downsize you. It was a big break for me because I turned it into a positive and I was happy when it happened because I knew it was an opportunity to do what I wanted to do. I look at that as my big break – my past employer gave me my big break.

Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

Tracy Matthewman:  One of my biggest failures occurred about two or three years ago. I decided to create a product and I partnered up with a girl who had expertise in a certain subject matter to do a launch. I was there as the marketing half of the partnership. We did the launch venture and created the product and were going to launch it as a group coaching program. I had already been watching a lot of product launches, taking lots of notes, and learned enough that I felt comfortable moving ahead with it. We went through the process and it was a complete bomb. We had one person sign up, which I guess is a success, I should have celebrated that but we were hoping for 20 to 30 people.

After the fact, instead of just closing and saying I’m not going to do that again, I went to an online forum where I know a bunch of really successful people hang out who have done these types of launches before and I wrote a post and said, “Hey guys I just did this product launch, it didn’t go very well, here’s the information that I put out there, here’s some of the marketing materials that we used, can I get your feedback on it?” So I literally asked for help from people who I knew would be able to give me some feedback and they gave me some really great feedback. Since then I have continued to do product launches and I have had much better success. So I have learned from looking at my mistakes and saying, “What can I learn from this situation?” and applying what I learned. Every time I do a launch I get better and better results.

Now I can put together a coaching program and get the numbers of people that I want to sign-up. So learn from your mistakes.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

Tracy Matthewman:  A few years ago I was working really long hours, every day into the evening, and a lot of weekend work. A mentor told me that I better stop doing that and it was a hard decision. But what I decided to do, I stopped working weekends, and I talked it over with my husband and we decided that there was a set number of days and evenings that I could work and the rest of days and evenings I wasn’t going to work. It was a big decision because I love what I do and there is always that stress as a solopreneur that you’re not going to make enough money and there is always so much to do. To make a decision to cut your hours by a big chunk of time is scary, but having made that decision I immediately saw a lot less stress in my life, and it forced me to focus better. All the stress I had about not working so many hours subsided because I realized that it really wasn’t necessary.

Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

Tracy Matthewman:

1. Getting downsized out of my corporate job.
2. The first course that I invested in shaped my life because it was a turning point in my life. When I had been at my corporate job, someone was paying me, when I started to work for myself I basically bought myself a job,  but when I took that course, I started to learn about passive income so that changed the direction of my business.
3. Having a child. It helped me to know why I do what I do, and why I work so hard because I do it for her. It puts life into perspective.

Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

Tracy Matthewman:  In terms of business, I would say my clients. I have a really good client base and I know that they trust me and look to me for advice, and we’ve built the relationship over the past five years, that I know that I’m really very solid. I’m very proud of that, and the other thing that I’m quite proud of is one of the courses that I have put out there. I knew there was a need for it, and I put it together targeting the market I knew needed it and that course has been out there for a while and is selling very well. People like it, they get a lot from it, and I get a lot of feedback about it. It’s great to know that you create something that is needed and wanted that people are really happy with.

Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?

Tracy Matthewman:  In a few ways. I already mentioned one about not working weekends. In the last six months or so, another mentor encouraged me to start meditating, doing some sort of regular ritual that is more for me and more for a spiritual and health advantage. I mentioned that I’m a bit of a workaholic and I tend to work a lot even though I have cut back my hours. I didn’t take a lot of time out to learn about who I am and just be with myself. I have started to meditate regularly and have started to do stuff like yoga. I think this has helped to bring more peace and less stress into my life. That never would have happened without mentorship, so I’m really thankful for that.

Avil Beckford: What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

Tracy Matthewman: I think the core message is about balance because both of those things I mentioned in the last question really are about balance, and I was really out of balance for a long time. You can have all the money in the world, and you can work and work and work, but at the end of the day your health could suffer, and your mental, emotional, spiritual elements of your life could suffer as well. Happiness isn’t always about the financial side of life, so the core message is to be truly happy and be my best and have a great life, it’s not going to happen unless I have balance.

Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

Tracy Matthewman:  You want to look at all the different environments of your life, and one thing I learned from a mentor is that there are nine elements: Spiritual, relationships, network, financial, physical, nature, memetic (which is more about you, inner thoughts), body and self. All those things that are happening around us all the time, I would suggest looking at them all and making sure that they are strong, finding the ones that are weak and work on those areas because they are going to brings the others up even more. It’s about balance. I’m currently doing a program called The Ultimate Game of Life and it’s been helping me to notice those other areas of my life that I was just too busy to notice before. Look at all the areas of your life and try to make them all strong. Balance is good, but making all the areas strong will give you a truly amazing life.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Interviewee Name: Karen Parsons, Human Excellence Coach

Company Name: Successful Solutions

Website: http://www.karenparsons.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Karen Parsons:  I am a life and business excellence coach, speaker and author.  I help empower successful professionals and organizations to further excel, using my depth of understanding about human potential and how to leverage it.  The beginning of any change must start with awareness.  You cannot change what you cannot see.  So I assist my clients bring to the surface; limiting beliefs, perceptions and behaviours that are the hidden barriers to achieving their highest potential.  I then provide them with transformational tools, processes and techniques for implementing lasting and positive change!

Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?

Karen Parsons:  I usually begin my day early, 5:00, 5:30 am, it starts with a coffee.  I usually start working on the computer right away, replying to emails, planning my day, preparing for coaching sessions, client meetings and so on. The morning is my favourite and most creative time of the day.  My day can vary depending on whether I am in my office, home office or at a client site.  I make sure I always schedule time for meditation and exercise and of course family time.

Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

Karen Parsons:  Fortunately for me I am a very motivated person.  My challenge is to do less, not more.  However, for those times that I do feel down and less motivated,  I listen; is it time to slow down for a little while?  Take a break?  Or is it time to forge ahead and get past that little voice in my head that wants to quit.  Knowing the difference is key.  I teach my clients the subtle differences between the authentic voice pointing you in the right direction, guiding you to be the best you or the voice of fear, the ego, the sabotaging voice of negative self-talk.  When you learn how to consistently plug into that authentic voice you move from being motivated to being inspired!

Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

Karen Parsons:  I would have realized sooner the importance of being in the moment and enjoying the ride instead of thinking happiness comes from getting to the destination.

Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?

Karen Parsons:  Discovery for me is a daily process that builds upon itself.  I don’t think there is one that I could highlight.

Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

Karen Parsons:

1. Being an excellence coach means that I assist clients push the envelope, expand their possibilities, and fulfill their highest potential.  Many corporations understand the necessity and immense value of giving their leaders and their teams, the tools to improve themselves and be even better.  But there is a greater amount of companies that still see this type of training as an expendable luxury.  So my challenge is to make sure that I package what I do in a way that they can fully understand the tangible benefits of investing in excellence coaching in terms of higher productivity, engagement, retention and profits.
2. There is so much to do in my business, marketing and promotion, thoroughly preparing for client sessions, ensuring that I am up-to-date on leading edge thinking and solutions as it pertains to human potential, development and business excellence, following up, writing seminars and keynote speeches, it can be overwhelming at times.  I have to be vigilant in my prioritizing and focusing and goal setting.
3. I am approached by so many people, associations, charities, and media to help them.  Give a free seminar or workshop, free coaching, interviews, articles.  I am so grateful that they see the value in my work and I got into excellence coaching because I want to assist people live out their greatest potential and create meaningful and lasting success.  So my motivation is to always say yes.  The threat is not finding the balance between the paying work and the free work.  So now I really pick and choose what gratis work I do and which is going to make the greatest impact for others.

Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?

Karen Parsons:  I think the uniqueness begins with me.  I have a unique combination of experience that enables me to relate and add value to clients in a wide variety of areas.  Firstly, I was a search consultant for 18 years and worked with thousands of professionals in hundreds of corporations.  So there is a lot of knowledge and expertise that I can impart in the area of career coaching.  Also having worked with so many professionals from start-ups to large corporations I have an in-depth understanding of business and can add a lot of value as a business strategist.  So I have many clients who actually use my services to talk about specific business situations, client issues and so on and we strategize and come up with solutions.  I also have a unique personal background that has given me many life experiences that I have learned so much from that has translated to being able to help my clients design the life they really want to create for themselves.

My clients consistently share with me that they feel I have the ability to hone in on what their roadblocks or hidden barriers may be and empower them to bring them to the surface where they can see what the issues and challenges are.  Making visible to them what was causing them stress, what was driving their choices, their behaviours and then giving them practical ways to change what needs to be changed.

Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?

Karen Parsons:  One of the biggest challenges for me was when I seriously injured my back and was in bed for five months and then years afterwards of pain and rehabilitation.  In that situation I was forced to change.  I was forced to slow down. I was forced to become more reflective, I was forced to accept that some things were out of my control.

I learned so much that we wouldn’t have time today to discuss it all.  But to summarize, I learned the importance and necessity of finding balance.  I learned how to find the good in what happens to you that may not seem like it is so good at the time.  I learned to live my life with gratitude.  I learned to trust and let go more to where the flow of life wants to take me instead of always trying to control where I was going.  So being more open and in tune to the clues and synchronicities of my life.  Lastly, I truly connected with my authentic self and that is the greatest gift you can receive.

Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

Karen Parsons:  I didn’t have any big break.  My success has been a steady climb.

Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

Karen Parsons:  There isn’t one big failure that comes to mind.  I actually don’t believe in failure.  There really is no beginning or end to success.  It is a process of ups and downs.  The trick is to realize this and not let the circumstances of life control your inner experience.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

Karen Parsons:  To leave the search consulting business.  I was one of the top search consultants in Canada and was enjoying a thriving career.  But through the back injury I described earlier and really connecting with my authentic self, I knew that I was meant to do more.  To push myself to new levels.  Most people would think I was crazy to leave something so successful to pursue a new career but I knew that I had to.  If I didn’t then I wasn’t living my life to my full potential and for me that would be a tragedy.  The impact of that choice has been so many life lessons learned so much growth as a person.  It was the greatest decision I ever made.  I can truly say I have lived a life of no regrets and I am not afraid to take risks and push myself to new heights.  For me it would be a very sad story if I lived this life in the comfort zone.

Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

Karen Parsons:

1. An incredible, strong single mother raising me.
2. The marriage to my husband who has supported me and has a similar life philosophy.
3. The birth of my daughter and how much she has taught me.

Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

Karen Parsons:  I really like the person I am becoming and I am most proud of the fact that I continue to work on how to be a better person and even though it may be painful at times, I don’t let that pain or fear stop me.  I push through it and the result is tremendous fulfillment, happiness and success.

Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?

Karen Parsons:  My greatest personal mentor was my mother.  She was very successful in business.  Very tough and wise.  My mother gave me one of the greatest gifts a parent can give.  She instilled a belief in me that I could do anything, that the only limitations were in my own mind.  Wow, what a powerful gift to give a young woman.

Avil Beckford: What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

Karen Parsons:  The other mentors in my life were all of the incredible authors of the hundreds and hundreds of books I have read.  Like Wayne Dyer, Anthony Robbins, and Deepak Chopra.  They were my mentors at the beginning of my journey into the field of human potential and excellence which really began 20 years ago.  The core message for me would be to continue to work on yourself, growing and learning is a life-long process and you have to continually push past your limitations.

Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

Karen Parsons:  Find a personal practice that connects you to your authentic self, the voice that guides you instead of letting others and the circumstances of life guide you.  We all have so much mental chatter and we are moving so quickly through life that we don’t stop to question, “What do I want out of life?  What kind of work experience do I want to create?”  Continually question where you are and what you want and figure out how to get there and most importantly enjoy the journey.  That’s really what it is all about.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Interviewee Name: Mike DeSousa

Website: http://www.mikedesousa.ca

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Mike DeSousa:  I am a Career Social Media specialist who helps recruiters & employers find superior employee talent FAST using Social Media.  As well, I am a Public Speaker who trains Non-Profit Agency staff on how to market their job-seeking clients, helping them to find work FAST.

Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?

Mike DeSousa: Waking up at 6am, work at 7am reviewing daily goals set the night before, create presentations, researching clients online/phone networking, sourcing opportunities, setting up appointments, cleaning up paperwork, invoicing clients/following up on  building an online presence & my community, and learning new Social Media.

Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

Mike DeSousa:  I focus on attainable short-term & long-term goals that move me towards my desire outcomes that I list on my Vision Board. Also I LOVE learning about new resources (Social Media & other), acting on new opportunities, and CREATING innovative opportunities & successes. Speaking to me puts me in the Zone, especially when my audience appreciates both the knowledge that I impart and my entertainment value (“edu-tainment”).  About 5-10 people approach me after one of my presentations, which tells me that I’m adding value to their lives and helping them out, as a “Social-preneur”. I love helping others, using my gifts — this is what makes me happy and I strive for in my legacy: being of service to others and making an empowering impact in their lives that moves them forward toward their committed goals. Conversely, I dislike working with people who state their goals, though are not committed to do the prep, work to reach them, and expect these goals to magically appear.

Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

Mike DeSousa:  Take entrepreneurial courses, found business mentors, apprenticed under great people, start my own part-time business earlier, set compelling goals with deadlines, act on my gut instinct — I saw the value in the web in the early 90s, before it was mainstream, and my lack of action to follow my gut instinct cost me huge financial opportunities.  Never waste time crying over spilt milk: there are always other opportunities — look, observe, read, ask questions, study…don’t wait for them to find you: find them and create them.

Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?

Mike DeSousa: That I can do and achieve great things NOW (vs. in the future) and that I need to leverage the power of volunteers and interns to help me get there.  Setting aggressive goals and finding ways to achieve them are critical.

Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

Mike DeSousa: 1. Not acting fast enough 2. Self-limiting beliefs 3. Not working on priorities & getting caught up with trivia.  I resolve these three threats by:

1. Waking up earlier to get more work done
2. Giving myself positive self-talk, and
3. Focusing on 1-3 long-term, capacity-building priorities each day (am getting time management software to help me with this last one).

Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?

Mike DeSousa:

1. The creative way that I combine many different sources & the way that I show people how to apply this (vs. theoretical knowledge)
2. Innovative workshops on the latest programs, before most people have heard about them (early adopter)
3. Imparting wisdom while entertaining/motivating my audience & challenging them to take one action step right after the seminar

Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?

Mike DeSousa: Failing swimming classes as a kid and watching other kids get their swim badges was a pivotal moment and great learning experience for me.  It resolved me to work harder, set goals, persist, get help, have patience with myself, and persevere in front of a challenge.  To this day, when I am faced with a challenge, I draw upon this experience to remind myself of the habits that caused me to climb out of a valley of a “learning experience”, into a successful mountain peak.  Failing a few swimming lessons as a kid was the best thing that ever happened to me, because it allowed me to react positively to it and gave me a great background that I use to this very day. Incidentally, the determination that I gained from these early “learning experiences” propelled me to eventually train/teach swimming instructors and lifeguards, rank in the finals of one Provincial Lifeguard Competition in Spinal rescues, and complete an Olympic Distance & IronGuard triathlon.

Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

Mike DeSousa: My Best Friends kept on pestering me to act on my Public Speaking gifts, and I finally listened to them when I realized that other speakers who were less polished and knowledgeable than me were making a great living because they were marketing better.  My Best Friends take credit for my “Big Break” with helping me to ‘reprogram’ my self-limiting beliefs, reminding me of my strengths, and encouraging me to take action.

Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

Mike DeSousa: One of my biggest failures was entering a depression (which I didn’t recognize or know what a “depression” or its symptoms were, so it remained undiagnosed) and consequently failing first year university.  I took an inventory of all the lessons that I learned that year, knowing that I would eventually return. When I did return, I took out my “lesson sheet” and created an action plan that fuelled my work ethic, goal-setting, and discipline, and propelled me to the top of my class.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

Mike DeSousa:  One of the toughest decisions I’ve had to make was to face the fact that I “quit” in a couple of key pivotal moments in my life, when I promised myself that I would never do this.  With reflection and journaling, I discovered that sometimes, there is nothing wrong with “quitting”, as long as you learn something, grow from it, re-frame your experiences, strive to be a better person, help others, develop patience, compassion, kindness, and understanding for both yourself and for others.  I developed new meaning from this to learn the “assumptions” that informed my “quitting”:

1. Avoid comparing myself to others in certain ways (rather than to myself and seeking to focus on my own “Personal Bests”)
2. Not finding and communicating with a mentor who could explain to me how my self-limiting beliefs were holding me back.
3. Not willing to admit/refusing to admit my weaknesses to myself or to others

Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

Mike DeSousa:

1. Moving to Toronto as a teenager, and having to re-start my life in a new environment, having to make new Friends from scratch, and emerging successful from a tough transition
2. Going into Leadership Aquatics, which developed my teaching skills, speaking skills, and supervisory skills
3. Going back to school (university) as a mature student, which opened up new opportunities to me, helped get self-limiting beliefs and the monkey off my back, increase my awareness of undiagnosed depression in my life (which I got help for, keeping me healthy and stable for the past 4 years) and propelled my career in a new direction.

Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

Mike DeSousa: Winning a 1,200m high-school wide running race as a 15 year-old. I had just had a growth spurt after being a pudgy kid, and I resolved to become more athletic.  I had a great cross-country fall running season, and a good track training season.  I trained in track and got some advice from our gym teacher (“stick with the race leaders from the beginning”).  At the starting line, I tripped and fell. I picked myself up and started jogging, when all of a sudden I felt a roar inside me “NO!!!” (Don’t give up), and knew that I would give it my all, and that I would rather fail this way than to just throw in the towel. I caught the race leader on the 1st lap, and stayed with him for the whole race, despite feeling like I was going to die.  Each time someone cheered for him, it strengthened my resolve and I pretended that they were cheering for me.  I breezed past him in the final 300m.

Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?

Mike DeSousa:  I’ve learned many great things and unique lessons from different mentors.

1. As a youngster, I would read the (kids version) biographies of Great People (e.g. Louis Pasteur, Madame Curie, Benjamin Franklin, etc.), fables and stories, and Marvel Comic Books, all of which made me feel that there was World-Class Greatness and a Hero inside of me awaiting to emerge — in what area I didn’t know, though I knew it in my gut and Soul that I “had it, whatever this area of greatness was.”
2. Peter Fujiwara, my most important mentor and high-school teacher taught me to strive for Excellence in all aspects of one’s life, to seek balance, and to believe that you could do anything and not to listen to the “experts” or take self-limiting advice from “mentors.”
3. Mr. Dixon, another mentor high-school teacher taught me the value of hard work (“Brains without hard work is wasted talent, Mike.”).
4. Alexander the Great taught me to be strategic. A common lesson each of these taught me was to wake up early and outwork others.

Avil Beckford: What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

Mike DeSousa: Outwork, out-strategize, and be of service to others.

Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

Mike DeSousa:  Pick an invisible mentor from one of the “Greats” of all time and an existing one who resonates with your personality, your needs, and/or your direction.  Read everything you can and learn from each. Picture them talking to you, giving you advice.  Contact the “existing/living” mentor!

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.