The Invisible Mentor

Posts Tagged ‘Don Miguel Ruiz’

Lewis Carroll – Your Invisible Mentor

Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland is really about learning from our mistakes, firing the imagination and making the impossible possible.

In the fantasy, Alice chases after a white rabbit sporting a waistcoat and tumbles down a rabbit hole into a world of wonder, one that’s very dissimilar to the one she came from. The silliness of Alice in Wonderland makes you laugh and makes the book very appealing.

As Carroll takes Alice from one adventure to another I see a bit of Alice inside myself where I make the same mistakes more than once until I finally get it. In the land of make believe, where animals can talk, Alice’s size fluctuates, up and down like a yo-yo until she finally figures out how to control it by nibbling on a piece of mushroom. More than once, she offends and frightens, by telling the mouse and birds about her cat Dinah who loves to catch mice and chase birds.

While reading Alice in Wonderland I was reminded of the poem Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson. The poem makes you laugh, but you are laughing at yourself because you can relate to it. Someone walks down a street and falls into a pothole, and he does it again even though he clearly sees the pothole, he walks down the street again sees the pothole and walks around it until one day he decides, what the heck, I will walk down another street. It’s a part of the human condition and a metaphor for life. Falling into the pothole is a metaphor for the mistakes we make in life.

Five Great Ideas

1. Communicate in simple, clear language to avoid misunderstandings
2. Don’t take things personally (One of the four agreements – Don Miguel Ruiz)
3. If you have a destination, does it really matter how you get there? How about you enjoy the journey instead?
4. Manage your emotions – never lose your temper
5. Think before you speak

So, how can you apply the simple concepts in Alice in Wonderland? Think of a challenge that you are currently facing:

If you were standing on the shoulders of a giant, how differently would you view the challenge? And, if you could shrink the challenge, or break it down into smaller chunks, what difference would it make in resolving it? The way you view the world depends on where you are positioned, and Alice in Wonderland opens you up to many possibilities. Transform the impossibilities in your life to possibilities!

Even if you have read Alice in Wonderland when you were a child, I recommend that you read it through adult lens. What metaphors are used that relate to you life? What lessons can you learn from this timeless classic?

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

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Over the years I have interviewed mostly businesspeople but I thought that I should expand and interview people from other fields. Today and tomorrow I present Robin Craig, an actress, because it’s important for us to understand many points of view. In 1988, Robin broke her heal very badly and a surgeon did an excellent job putting it back together. However, after it healed she had to learn how to walk in high heels again and this was Robin’s major challenge. This was a serious challenge for Robin because of her line of work, but this isn’t something that most of us would even think about. What’s a challenge that’s unique to your industry or even your field? Once again, don’t take things personally, which is one of the Four Agreements is mentioned. I think that this is a lesson that we all need to learn.

The Four Agreements – Don Miguel Ruiz

1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Don’t take anything personally
3. Don’t make assumptions
4. Always do your best

Here is Robin Craig’s interview now. While reading think about five takeaways. What do you have in common with Robin? What’s one surprising thing about her interview responses?

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

I have been in theatre for about 35 years as a professional actor. I am married and have two grown children who have left home already, one is 26 and the other one is 24 years old. I have lived in Toronto for the past 31 years and I’m very happy living here.

What’s a typical day like for you?

Way too busy! I’m lucky to have breakfast and coffee with my husband David, and usually there is a long list of things to do and a lot of it has to do with keeping the house running. David works as a playwright, but he is the artistic director of Roseneath Theatre so he leaves for his office around 9:45 am. The first couple of hours is spent answering emails and cleaning up my office, dealing with errands, and I have promised myself that I will write for about an hour each day, which I have been doing consistently because I am working on a new play. In the afternoon I call friends and reconnect with others, and around 4:00 p.m. I start thinking about making dinner. We eat around 6:30 or 7:00 o’clock. After dinner David goes to his office and I finish up things then we get back together around 9:00 o’clock to sum up our day. Sometimes we go to a play, and we fall into bed around 11 or 12 o’clock. So that’s the day.

How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

That’s a really hard one. I think just trying to picture the result at the end of that long journey, just trying to imagine getting there. Because neither David nor myself work in a very secure environment every project is different and every preparation is different so you may have a contract for five weeks or you may have one for four months, but each contract and each job takes just as much preparation so you just imagine yourself having done all the preliminary work and you’re into the actual doing of the job. Thinking about the end of the journey motivates me.

If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

Be more patient.

What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?

Think more positively rather than letting little worries get to me. I try to teach my brain to take a breath, and just say it’s alright you can do this and take things one step at a time rather than looking at the whole picture and having it be insurmountable.

What’s one of the biggest advances in your industry over the past five years?

Well in our industry we have gone backwards unfortunately. Certainly in the theatre we have much less funding from the government and much less support for the artists, so I think we are really struggling in our industry. I think the film industry is different, there are all sorts of new technical advances, but the theatre is really suffering. There is wonderful emerging playwrights during this time of struggle but there isn’t enough support for them.

What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

Age: I think in my business if you’re blond, 22 years old and weigh 12 lbs you’ll probably be very successful in film and television. I’m being very facetious here but I think there are a lot of challenges with hiring women over a certain age. There aren’t enough plays written about them or for them.

Where you live: You may not have access to a lot of opportunities.

Harmonized Sales Tax is going to be a big challenge for us in Canada because now we’re going to have to charge more for our goods and services.

What’s unique about the service that you provide?

Being an actor is very unique because every single actor is an exception and every actor is different because they bring a certain quality to their work that can’t be done by anybody else. So it’s particularly significant in our work that we find a niche for ourselves and try to promote that but remain true to ourselves.

What do you observe most people in your field doing badly that you think you do well?

Patience maybe! Again, most people are really good in my business and I don’t think that there is anyone that I would criticize because it’s a very personal business and you go about it the way that you feel will work best for you. For me, in this business it would presuppose a judgment on others, and that’s something that I don’t think our business can support very well.

Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it.

I had quite a nasty accident in about 1988, quite a while ago. I broke my left heel quite badly and I lost my whole season at the Shaw Festival, which was very disappointing. Luckily I had a fantastic surgeon who my heel back together for me. The biggest challenge for me was walking in heels again because it’s always quite sore but I just ignore the discomfort when I’m on stage, and it’s okay. It was a bad accident but I learned to live with it.

Can you explain what The Shaw Festival is to non-Canadians?

They do the plays of George Bernard Shaw and his contemporaries and it’s a fantastic company. They have about 100 members and they run for about six months a year and it’s one of the most respected companies of its kind in the world.

What lessons did you learn in the process?

• Luckily I had insurance to offset the lost season so I didn’t have to worry about money but it was an interesting lesson because I was trying to do too much. I had two small children,  I was baking for a friend’s wedding and I had a show that afternoon. I was doing too much and had a stupid accident and fell off a roof. Luckily I wasn’t hurt as badly as I thought. But I think that it taught me to stop and slow down. It forced me to look at things and we survived just fine. And I had the opportunity to spend more time with my children which was very nice.

Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

My big break was definitely Christopher Newton hiring me to do The Shaw Festival in 1981. He took a big chance on me and gave me two leads and a lovely supporting role and I haven’t looked back since.

Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

Failure is one of those difficult words that can really make you feel depressed. I wouldn’t actually say that I have failed at anything. I sort of feel that being a Canadian artist is a little harder struggle than I anticipated. I think that I have lessons to learn in accepting a little more gracefully the frustrations of the business and learning patience is a mantra that I’ve began to accept. I have learned not to jump to conclusions so quickly and not to take things as personally as I have.

What has been your biggest disappointment in your life – and what are you doing to prevent its reoccurrence?

Again I have been very lucky and with disappointments there is always a lesson. A recent disappointment is that I read for a new series and I had a really good audition. It was a very long shot to get it, and I just heard that I didn’t get it. I was prepared for that but I was disappointed because it would have meant a huge amount of monetary freedom. I have done one series before and it was very nice to have that freedom of security that you had that money coming in. But again, every time you get rejected for a job, you get a little bit more accepting of it and you go, “okay it’s part of the business” and you move on. It’s also helped me to model that for my son who is also in the business. He is young, just starting out and when he loses an audition he really beats himself up, so again don’t take it personally, it’s the business.

What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

I had to commit someone who I love very much to the hospital. As it turns out it was the correct thing to do but at the time it was very difficult for me. It was the hardest thing that I’d ever done. It made me much more compassionate to people who are struggling with the kind of diagnoses that this person was struggling with. And it opened my eye to the lack of services around for that kind of illness.

What are three events that helped to shape your life?

My marriage, the birth of my two children, and accepting the job at Shaw Festival.

What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

Being a mother for sure.

Robin Craig Speaks About How Mentors Influenced Her Life from Avil Beckford on Vimeo.

How did mentors influence your life?

I had two mentors in particular. One was the head of the drama department at Queens University Fred Euringer who definitely has remained my mentor all my life, and we are still in touch. I also had my grade 7 teacher Mr. Wing who taught me how wonderful the English language is. I actually called him when I was in Ottawa performing a show and he had retired and I said you don’t remember me but I just wanted to thank you for what you did for me in grade 7 and it really changed my thinking and really affected me and he said, “Yeah, second girl on the right two rows back, you still have your pigtails?” He remembered me. Another mentor was Bill Glassco who was the artistic director of Tarragon Theatre and also the creator. We met each other when I was in university and he directed me in a play and remained a friend and mentor all my life until he died a few years ago.

What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

Listen, listen, listen.

Which resources (books, movies, training etc.) did your mentors recommend to you?

Fred recommended that I read the Complete Works of Shakespeare, I am still working on that but it’s my favourite book. Bill Glassco encouraged me to read as many new Canadian playwrights as I could and to keep going to the theatre.

As an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

Keep wishing, keep being positive about the dreams that you have because your dreams are attainable, you just have to keep going and don’t take no for an answer.

What are five takeaways from Robin’s interview?

Please keep the conversation flowing, click on the comment link below and leave a note for me. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the left side) by email or RSS Feed. I created a Mini Learning Toolkit and you can grab a copy by clicking here.

Recently someone who I know asked me where the food court was in the mall close by, so I started giving him directions. He asked if I could go with him and I thought about it and said yes, not much arm twisting needed. We go into the mall and he tells me that he has never been inside before. I am quite astonished because he works right beside the mall. He adds that he would have gotten lost had I not been with him, and when I thought about it he was correct. I  have been going to that mall for nearly 15 years so I do not even have to think about it, I know where everything is. I assumed that because the food court was easy for me to find that it would be easy for others to find as well. The reality is that there are many aisles that you could get lost in and the layout isn’t perfect. And, it doesn’t help that three malls are connected to each other underground.

What assumptions do you make that could possibly trip up others? Are the instructions for your training products clear? When you give directions from point A to B, do you leave out landmarks, distance and possible time it takes, to help others gauge if they are on track? Have you ever been frustrated when the instructions to perform a task wasn’t clear? The assumptions you make, are they friends or foe? Do they assist you or hamper you? Do they make you appear credible?

The next time you have to explain something, write or  give instructions or directions, before you begin, pause and think before you do anything. Also think about what you would like if you were the recipient of the explanation, directions or instructions.

We can take making assumptions even further, what assumptions do we make daily? What assumptions do we bring to the table? What assumptions do we make about others? What assumptions do we make about how things get done? And so on and so on… Do all these assumptions that we make cloud our judgment and prevent us from being creative?

In Did You Spot the Gorilla by Richard Wiseman, which I have talked about before, there is an exercise with the face of a clock in Roman numerals. A few of the numbers are missing and you are asked to fill in the missing numbers. I finished the exercise in record time and found much to my dismay, that just like everyone, for the number four which we are taught is IV, on all watches and clocks it is IIII, except for the Big Ben in London. I made a reasonable assumption, but it was an incorrect one. Please read Could You Swear to It?

One of the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is to don’t make assumptions, but as an information professional, I have to make assumptions because I never have all the information that I require so I have to fill in the gaps based on experience, so perhaps the agreement should be make assumptions with caution. Are there specific instances where you are forced to make assumptions, how do you handle them? So, the way you deal with assumptions in instances like these, is to state what you do know, what you don’t know, and what you think.

What are your thoughts? Please keep the information flowing, click on the comment link below and leave a note for me. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the left side) by email or RSS Feed. I created a Mini Learning Toolkit and you can grab a copy by clicking here.

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Photo Credit: Zemanta and Apture (The photo is of Richard Wiseman)