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The Chief Mentoring Officer Interviews Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay, Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 10:30:57 +0000

Interviewee Name: Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay

Company Name: eBay EU

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Image via CrunchBase

Annemie Ress: I’m South African by birth and grew up there. I studied law, worked in Switzerland for a short while and have been living in the United Kingdom for the past 13 years. For the past 13 years I have worked for Pepsi (for a short while because I worked for them in South Africa). I also worked on the trading floor for the International Petroleum Exchange and since then I have been working at eBay. I have had multiple careers at eBay.

I’m totally passionate about diversity, positive psychology, human rights and I just did the New York Marathon with my husband.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Annemie Ress: I’m not going to lie to you, it’s very hard working for an American corporation, working in an environment that we work in now, I’m not great at integrating my personal and professional life. Although I say all these things, and the reason why now is so important to me as a concept, is I feel I’m always rushing. I started doing yoga with my husband a year ago, and hatha yoga has been fundamental in terms of transforming and just bringing a sense of calmness into my life. And again surrounding myself with diverse people. I make sure that I also read a very diverse range of material, and I constantly listen to diverse conversations, articles and podcasts so in that way I do fun things, but sometimes they are professional things that contribute to my work-life but I do them while I’m walking. Or I learn while I’m out exercising. I’m not great at it but that’s how I try to connect and keep both parts going.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Annemie Ress:

Don’t be afraid of the unknown.
Surround yourself with people who are very different from you – people who you do not think you have anything in common with.
Live in the now or try to live in the now.
Have compassion.
Realize that not everything is black and white. Grey is an interesting colour.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Annemie Ress: I don’t have a specific process. Most often when I’m not thinking is when ideas come to me. I will consciously try not to think about a challenge or a solution that I’m facing but switch to doing something creative or relaxing, and that’s when the best ideas come.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Annemie Ress: I don’t have one, there are so many and I think I’ll do an injustice by just choosing one. I’d say the one for today is “Honesty without compassion is cruelty.” I think the quote relates the concept that life is complex, and it’s not a set of rules by which we play – if you do A, B will happen. It really helps us to understand the full complexity of life.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Annemie Ress: I think success is very personal and I don’t think there is a formula for success. I can be very self-help-like and say this is the formula for success so read the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I think for me success is all about being able to go to bed at night and go to sleep feeling that you’ve had a fulfilled day and contributed in a small way to making the world a better place and I know that sounds idealistic, but I really mean that. For me, failure would be going to bed at night and not being able to say, “I showed compassion to someone today,” or I did something that was hard to do, but I did it in a way that helped someone to do something that was really tough.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Annemie Ress: Relationships and sponsorships and being authentic. It’s about building meaningful relationships with key opinion makers and stakeholders at all levels in your organizations. It could be with the person who brings you your coffee in the mornings, if you work in that type of environment. Or it could be with the security guard who is at the entrance when you come in to work, or the president of the corporation. But it’s not just about the relationships it’s also about celebrating the uniqueness in the other person and really connecting with them authentically. In my environment that’s the one thing I’ve tried consistently to do because it builds trust, integrity and respect and that stands you well in both good and bad times.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Annemie Ress: Be brave and don’t think that you have to have a planned journey in life. Go a little bit with the flow and be open to what may come your way, and unexpected things will happen.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Annemie Ress:

I’d like to meet some evil people because I want to really understand their minds, I think that would be interesting because I cannot understand how one can commit some really commit some horrendous things, whether it’s Stalin, Hitler. I would try to understand how their minds worked. One could say they’re delusional but who knows. I just don’t understand that level of evil. Out of the two I think I would choose Stalin because so much has been written about Hitler.
I’d like to meet Mother Teresa because I know she’s had moments of doubts – I read that in a book recently – in her life and faith and I find that really interesting.
I met Nelson Mandela briefly, but I would love to understand the compassion he could show after all those years in jail and the wisdom that he had.
I would love to meet someone who lived in the Middle Ages – people who were suspicious of everything, and believed in witchcraft. I would find it fascinating interacting with them.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Annemie Ress: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and the Power of Now
by Eckhart Tolle. Both those books impacted me. I have read all of Paulo Coelho’s books and I loved all of them. I love how he combines mystery, religion, magic and life experiences, challenge and it started with The Alchemist, and that unlocked my interest in him as an author. I find it a powerful story that never dates. And for the Power of Now, back to my earlier comment that we have nothing now but the second, what’s passed is gone, and we can’t ever be sure of what happens next, so value every minute that you have.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the two years? T he prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million?

Annemie Ress: I have a Lisa Se Klavier CD of Afrikaans – which is my mother tongue – of folk music that is lovely poetry that I’d like to take with me. It’s about a girl who sits and plays the piano while the sun goes down in Cape Town. It’s absolutely beautiful. I love The Killing Fields as a movie and the books I would take:

The Alchemist
Power of Now
Blank book that I could write in. I love writing poetry and I would love to write a story. I’m trying to so about all my memories from childhood. Everyone says that, but if I had two years on an island I’ll take the blank book and do it.
I would like to take a Chinese language lesson book that teaches me how to speak Chinese.
A children’s story, something that makes me really happy, whether it’s Dr Seuss or something like that. That would keep me smiling in a fun and uncomplicated way.

During the two years, I would write the book and I would meditate, sit quietly and look at the waves, clouds, just calm down and breathe a lot, and practice everything I’m being taught in yoga. I would slow down and become in touch with my body, mind, and nature and really connect with who I am.

“Lisa se Klavier” – DOZI – Afrikaans Lyrics with English Translation

If you cannot view the YouTube Video please click here.

The Killing Fields Trailer

If you cannot view the YouTube Video please click here.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Annemie Ress: The unknown, both the scariness and the excitement of it – we don’t know what will happen. I don’t know what’s ahead for me and I really don’t want to know.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Annemie Ress: I have to read more than one book at a time. Reading is absolutely critical. I love to listen to philosophical arguments, debates and podcasts and stay in touch with news in Africa, and without that I don’t feel alive.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Annemie Ress: I’d wish that my mother and my husband who are the most important people in my life would always be happy.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Annemie Ress: I have the freedom to do whatever I want to do.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Book links are affiliate links.

YouTube Video Credit: http://www.youtube.com/user/Afrikitty, http://www.youtube.com/user/francesco99?feature=watch

The Chief Mentoring Officer Interviews Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay (theinvisiblementor.com)

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Life and Leadership Coach Irene Becker Part II

Avil Beckford — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 10:30:52 +0000

Interviewee Name: Irene Becker

Company Name: Just Coach It

Website: http://justcoachit.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Irene Becker: I’m a coach, a speaker and writer who helps people to work, communicate and lead happier and smarter lives in high stress, high change environments.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Irene Becker: I make sure that I take downtime for a couple of minutes, three times a day to do exercises that build my 3Qs. I do a little exercise called the Pause that’s a two-minute stress buster and mindfulness meditation. When I have downtime, I’m either learning, praying and meditating, or I’m sharing and doing something of service that’s relationship-based.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Irene Becker:

Always be solution-focused. We know that our brain is automatically set to negatives, so being solution-focused is retraining our brain. But today more than ever before, we all need to move from being problem-focused to solution focused.
Don’t forsake your courage, integrity, or humanity.
Give more, share more, care more and contribute more because they are all roads to fulfillment and happiness.
Love more.
Live more and laugh more. Appreciate and be grateful for your life-inject humour wherever and whenever you can.

We look around and there are parts of the world where people go to bed hungry and yet they seem to be happier than people in North America and Western Europe. Life is a gift.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Irene Becker: My favourite quotation is from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin who was a palaeontologist and Jesuit priest. He said, “Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.”

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Irene Becker: I don’t think that my formula for success would resonate with everyone, so I’m going to give you two answers. My definition for success is service above self. I had a client who was the Bill Gates of the country (Canada), and I’m really curious, here is a man who has everything, had built everything from scratch. And I asked him, “How do you define success?” and he told me in two seconds, “happiness,” so I think that’s the ultimate definition because when I define success it’s service, it makes me happy to feel that I have been of service. So success is happiness. I think the formula for success is timeless, it’s creating value for others. Whether you’re talking about business or personal success, it’s only when we’re creating value for others, that’s what success is. It’s that feeling of contributing that makes us happiest, and a sustainable business is about creating value for others. A sustainable relationship also depends on creating value for others.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Irene Becker: Learning, continuously learning, being passionate about my craft, working hard, contributing and understanding the difference between wants and needs. We used to be in a marketplace where Marketing 101 used to say, find the need, that’s no longer true. We’re so deluged with everything. When you have a product or service you have to understand the want.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Irene Becker: Find your passion then search for the want. Work hard, work honourably and work consistently.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Irene Becker: This was such a hard question because there are so many people I want to meet. So I decided that I would pick people from the past.

Abraham from the Bible
Rumi the Sufi mystic and poet
Dr. Martin Luther King
Albert Einstein
George Washington Carver, the peanut farmer: He was a man of such values and principles, a true leader. He was offered a lot of money but would have to give up his values and he never would. Corporations wanted to buy him out and I think it was the most incredible story.
Anne Frank

I would say, “Thank you!” because they all made the world a better place, and they all truly came from a place of love and service – extraordinary people.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Irene Becker: I actually have a few books. I couldn’t come up with just one. The Torah, Bible, the Psalms, The Zohar, The Prophet, Les Miserables and the Wizard of Oz.

I would take books: The Psalms, The Bible, The Zohar, Writings/Essays by my children, Poetry by Rumi.

I would take my favourite movie, Bruce Almighty as it is both very funny and very profound, spiritual.

Irene Becker: For the two years I would be praying, meditating, reflecting, and writing thoughts of value that I’d like to share with others – Thoughts about how life is a gift and how to use it. I would try to develop a routine that taps into my head, heart, soul and body. Never giving up faith that my two years was for a purpose that I cannot see, but that will be of service to others.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Irene Becker: Love! The ability to cleave to the spark of Godliness, the spark of eternal love that is the source of all.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Irene Becker: Love and prayer!

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Irene Becker: I would wish for what Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said in my favourite quote that I would see a day when…. “We shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.”

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Irene Becker: I am living and leading in service to the greatest good, because it is only in service that we realize our true purpose.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Lally Rementilla, VP Finance and Administration, Nulogy Corporation Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 09:30:07 +0000

Interviewee Name: Lally Rementilla, VP Finance and Administration

Company Name: Nulogy Corporation

Website: http://www.nulogy.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Lally Rementilla: I’m a senior finance professional who has had a longstanding career in the technology and media industries. By day, and most recently, I’m about all things tech and digital, and by night I’m a mother with two young kids who is trying to have lots of fun with her kids along the way.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Lally Rementilla: Every so often, I would say every five years, I formulate a vision of myself and encapsulate it into a couple of words or phrase and make that the criteria by which I conduct myself. I’ll give you an example – back in the year 2000 I went through this exercise of identifying what that vision was going to be, and I called that vision Hip Accountant. Dare I say it was like a brand, though not necessarily The Brand, but it’s really that catchphrase of what I wanted to use as a criteria by which I was going to be conducting myself, and the criteria by which I made decisions whether they be for career, social or personal in nature, so I had Hip Accountant.

A couple of things contributed to creating that vision, at this point I had pursued and completed my CMA (Certified Management Accountant) designation so that’s the accountant piece. It was also around this time that I made the move from Lucent to Lavalife, and Lavalife was such a hip company with a great brand that encapsulated a lot of the values and personality that was in that Hip Accountant vision that I had. Personally I moved closer to the downtown area because I just wanted a lifestyle that fits with the vision that I had. And I also took on a lot of board memberships across a variety of different not-for-profits, but again to fulfill that vision I actually joined an arts board at that time, and getting the designation, moving to a company that was hip and happening, physically relocating myself and being involved in the community that was more related to the vision that I had, and was a way for me to integrate my personal life with all other aspects of my life. And to this day, I go about having that vision and basing the decisions of those criteria.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Lally Rementilla: Being a very busy working mother, I would say downtime is what I define as time for myself. There are three things that I do. Obviously, one of them is practicing my yoga. Another one is I read, so on a day-to-day basis I read light business biographies. When I need something that’s more escapist in nature I read a lot of chick-lit, and sometimes I cannot peel myself away from it because it is such a way for me to relax and unwind. The third thing I do is travel. Friends I’ve known since nursery school we have tried to make it a point to get together and do a Girl’s Weekend or Girl’s Week at least once a year.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Lally Rementilla:

Keep things simple. It’s the KISS mentality and something that I have learned that really works. I don’t think we achieve anything by making our lives complicated. I think it’s all a matter of keeping things simple and streamlined. I guess it’s the minimalist in me talking.
Don’t be too greedy. I’ve seen a lot of really bad decisions being made because of greed. Having lived in both a Third World country and a First World country has given me a real appreciation of the things that are really important in life and I shake my head every time I see decisions being made because of greed.
In taking risks, 99 percent of the time you have nothing to lose in doing something that’s risky in nature. It’s relative, and that’s the beauty in having lived in both a Third and First World country is that you see the perspective of what’s the worst thing that can happen in life. People are going around thinking that they have so much to lose and there is not a lot in life that we can lose except obviously life itself.
Network, Network, Network! The power of human relationships I found is something that’s fundamental to humanity itself. In whatever we do, we should always strive to build a network of people around us, again whether it be in our professional life or your motherhood or your personal life or your social life. I think it’s always of great benefit and great strength to us to have a network around us.
Location, Location, Location! Obviously it works in real estate, but I also think it works well in being able to identify opportunities. I’m a believer that things happen for a reason, and a lot of it is being in the right place at the right time.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Lally Rementilla: I tend to take a more creative perspective in idea generation and therefore when asked to come up with an idea, I always try to identify the most unique and out-of-the-box way of doing things. And I don’t limit myself, it’s a practice of doing self-brainstorming and I let my ideas and my imagination and my brain go without filtering and I let it come out because I know that eventually I’ll see the relationships and be able to connect the dots to generate something that’s great and will be relevant to the problem or issue that I’m needing to face.

Most often than not, I take my time on things, not to say that I don’t rush to make quick decisions. Ideas tend to be more organic in nature and sometimes ideas can just happen and therefore I always keep my mind thinking and open to generating ideas as I go.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Lally Rementilla: When I was in high school, I remember the second year I had a religion teacher because I went to a Catholic school. My religion teacher had always inspired us in different ways, taught us to look at the world in different and innovative ways and sometimes quirky ways. But when she gave us this quotation and the quotation by the way is “Collect then select,” she meant for it to inspire a generation of young women who were socially programmed to follow a particular path in life. But what she really inspired us to do was to collect, meaning to take the energy and the time and the opportunity to have as much opportunities as possible to be involved in something and to take the time to immerse ourselves in different ways and different walks of life, different perspectives of doing things, and then make a decision at the end that we’re going to be committed to.

The reason why she taught us this and the reason why this is something that’s resonating with me and I’m sure with some of my other classmates at that time was that she talked to us about this quotation in the context of dating where she said, “You’re young, you’re only in the second year of high school, try to meet as many boys and men as you can in your life then make a selection when you find “the one” and stick with that decision and then commit yourself to that person.”

I found that that perspective goes beyond dating and men. I think it’s something that can be applied in life in general.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Lally Rementilla: For me success is the ability for you to look yourself in the eye and say to yourself that you’ve maximized every potential talent or asset that you have within you to make a difference in the life of people and it doesn’t necessarily have to be all the people in the whole country. But at least you’ve made a difference in at least one other person’s life. This is a definition that transcends the business world, so it can be applied in a personal or social setting.

As far as the formula to achieve success is concerned, the first is the relentless pursuit of excellence and not settling for what you have, and trying to use your talents for the greater good. There is a lot of hard work associated with this, especially people who are overcome with a lot of challenges have to work extra hard to address those. Integrity I think is going to be very key, it’s staying true to yourself because when you are there maximizing your potential, your assets, your talents, it’s essentially working with one main ingredient and that’s your integrity and you’re going to have to be happy in a very deep way with all the decisions that you make in order to achieve the success.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Lally Rementilla: The step I tend to take is to constantly be learning and to do that both formally whether it’s achieving a designation or informally. When I graduated from university I had a BA, but as I worked I took my MBA part-time. I did a CMA designation and I pursued a lot of other training opportunities that my organizations had supported me with. And there is also informal training whether it be immersing myself or taking on a very difficult assignment which I had no qualifications to do and that’s one way for me to learn.

The second step is to have a real strong support system both in business and in my personal life.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Lally Rementilla: I alluded to that earlier, which is when you start out, take time to identify your strengths. If you take my advise to play with your strengths, and collect and select which is my favourite quotation, if you put them all together, I think that’s the perfect recipe for those starting out, which is you collect opportunities, you collect different experiences, and then identify your strengths, select them then run with them.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Lally Rementilla:

Warren Buffet: I believe he is one of the world’s greatest investors and one of the most down-to-earth persons that I know. I would ask him if he could take the time out to help me pick some stocks for my kid’s portfolios so they are pretty much set to go.
Isadore Sharp the founder of Four Seasons: I would like to let him know that I really appreciate his vision in putting the level of customer service as something that’s key to building a successful business.
Vincent van Gogh: I had a chance to visit the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam last March and I think it was a big loss to the art world for someone like him who was so driven and talented to have such a short and limited time as an artist. I would tell him that I greatly admire what he achieved in the little time that he had.
Arianna Huffington: I would tell her she is one of the most fearless people that I know.
Sheryl Sandberg: I would invite her and say, “You go girl, you define what it is like to be a female in technology.”

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Lally Rementilla: A lot of the business biographies that I read have had an impact on me, but if there is one that has made a practical impact in my life, it would be Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi, which is a book about networking. I also think it’s a book about humanity, relationships, having personal values and living and integrating your life. What I liked about the book, is first of all it was practical in nature, but it was also a great success story, and it taught me to be more fearless. It taught me to reach out to people more in my career. I borrowed it from the library and I loved it so much that I bought it and bought a second copy just in case I need to lend it to someone for their own inspiration.

Lally Rementilla: I would spend the two years trying to get off the island.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Lally Rementilla: I think of life as an opportunity for us to make changes, and the ability to change things within the sphere of influence that you have and be able to change that sphere of influence as well as you grow.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Lally Rementilla: I have a very deep Catholic background so I pray a lot. I also try as much as possible to talk to my kids because talking to kids and seeing the potential in them, and seeing the way they view the world I think is something that can ground people and make them feel really good about themselves, and it really nurtures your soul.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Lally Rementilla: I have been working with so many spreadsheets in my life that I would wish for a perfect vision to last me for the rest of my life.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Lally Rementilla: I make someone laugh!

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews David Gray, Leadership Coach & Career Consultant Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 09:30:58 +0000

Interviewee Name: David Gray

Company Name: DSG Associates

Website: http://www.dsgassociates.ca

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

David Gray: The concept of integration is an interesting one. In my opinion, there can be no distinction between who you are as a business leader or as an individual on a personal basis. In other words, your ‘Self’ has to be an integrated whole. Otherwise, by definition it would be impossible to lead with integrity and conviction. However, one’s personal life is one’s own. In an era of celebrity worship this concept of the private Self can be a difficult one for some people to grasp. My solution is to advise people that I am available as a Coach during a quite broad number of hours. Beyond that, my time is my own.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

David Gray: I spend my down time reading, walking my dog, Eddie, and doing mundane household chores. I find all of these activities quite relaxing and conducive to engaging in a meditation of sorts.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

David Gray:

Be humble
Listen actively and intently.
Practise empathetic understanding.
Reflect intently.
Act decisively.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

David Gray: I try to cast a wide net in the initial research and planning phases and then take everything I have learned and turn it on its head. This combination of broad search and contrarian analysis tends to enable new and innovative thoughts to emerge.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

David Gray: “Seek first to understand and only then to be understood” from Covey’s “7 Habits.” I find that the world can be understood with any degree of accuracy only if one first casts aside one’s own inevitable prejudicial perspectives.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

David Gray: Success for me is defined in terms of relationships. One is successful if one tries to give back to others more wisdom, more empathy and more joy than one takes for oneself. We do not define our own reputation, our personal brand. Other people do this for us. And so, if our self-awareness and our reputation are to have any real congruency, then success can only be defined on a social rather than an individual basis. Our success is inextricably entwined in what we give to others and what we share of ourselves with others, rather than what we take for ourselves and what we hold on to of ourselves solely for our own enjoyment.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

David Gray: I worked, and continue to work half days. Sometimes it’s the first half of the day, sometimes the second. Sometimes I break the day into quarters. But I always try to work at least 12 hours a day. Except on Sundays. Then I generally only work six hours or so. In other words, I worked hard and continue to do so. However, one can only really work hard on a sustainable basis if one truly enjoys the work. So the first key is to identify your life’s work, your true mission or ‘vocation’ as it used to be called. After all, each of us is only here for a very brief period of time.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

David Gray: Figure out what you want to do in the way of a career. Meantime, while life throws other opportunities your way – which probably on the surface appear to have very little to do with that desired career – work like the devil himself to succeed at whatever work you are doing at any given time. There is no such thing as bad honest work. Nor is there any such thing as undignified honest work. So work hard and prosper.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

David Gray:

Sir Winston Churchill: Thank you, thank you, thank you Sir, for staying the course throughout the wilderness years when lesser men succumbed to grovelling group think.
Robert E. Lee: What were you thinking when you decided in favour of the Southern cause? Far too many men died and far too much unnecessary suffering was caused by this fatally flawed decision which prolonged the failed Southern War of Secession.
Prince Charles Stuart: Stay in France. The Highland Scots have sufficient problems without your intrusion into their already difficult lives.
Julius Caesar: Beware the Ides of March!
Socrates: Just drink the damn hemlock old man! You have poisoned enough young minds with your hypocritical musings – and will continue to confuse a sufficient number of older ones over the course of human time.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

David Gray: Joseph Campbell’s, The Hero with a Thousand Faces. This book brought me face-to-face with human mortality and our shared human journey, thus making clear the urgent need to become oneself, identify and follow one’s own ‘bliss’ and make a contribution to the human family, regardless of how humble or great that contribution might be.

David Gray: The movie would be, The Natural. I would seldom watch the film as I have already seen it at least three times. But it would act as a constant reminder to focus on whatever is both relevant based on my own gifts and yet ‘doable’ based on circumstances at any given time. The five books would include The Cat in the Hat by Dr Seuss so as to retain my sense of humour; Cervantes, Don Quixote (Penguin Classics) to ensure that I remember the absurdity of civilization; Foucault’s History of Madness so as to understand the process as I would surely go slowly quite mad; Kodokan Judo: The Essential Guide to Judo by Its Founder Jigoro Kano to give me a structure that might enable me to retain some degree of physical fitness, as well as the anthology, The Poetry of Robert Frost: The Collected Poems, Complete and Unabridged so as to nurture my soul even as my brain inevitably went a bit sideways.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

David Gray: The possibilities for self development and testing one’s own capabilities and limits.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

David Gray: Quiet reflection, exercise, and good wholesome food.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

David Gray: Enlightenment.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

David Gray: I am happy when…I am doing what I do best…practising Leadership Coaching.

David Gray: I am unusually direct in speech, as I consider trust to be a condition most quickly built upon a foundation of honest communication. At the same time, I take pains to be empathetic and non-threatening in my overall approach.

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Tracy Matthewman, Internet Marketer & Social Media Trainer, Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 09:30:04 +0000

Interviewee Name: Tracy Matthewman

Company Name: Tracy Matthewman, Network Marketing Sweetie

Website: http://www.TracyMatthewman.com, http://networkmarketingsweetie.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Tracy Matthewman: I come from a corporate IT background, so I worked in IT for 15 years. After I had my daughter I had an opportunity to stay home and work for myself so I jumped at the chance. I started off doing web and graphic design and within a year or so I quickly moved into the internet marketing realm. Marketing has always been a love of mine, and the fact that it was mixed with internet and technology was right up my alley, so that’s what I’ve been doing ever since.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Tracy Matthewman: I brand myself so my website is TracyMatthewman.com which is my name. You go on that site and you basically see a picture of me at the top and in the content I create, every thing that I do, I am basically just myself. I make videos and when I write I don’t worry about whether it’s perfectly grammatically done. Obviously I try to make it sound proper so people can understand it, and I pay attention to spelling errors, but when I write or go on video I talk as if I am talking to someone one-on-one.

As an example, I did a video on a tip that keeps my blogging regular, and my daughter was in my office with me when I was making the video. She was very quiet, over the other side sitting in a chair. Toward the end of the video she came and sat in my lap and I could have stopped the video and started again, but it’s really about me and part of me is that I have a daughter and I work from home, so I allowed that part of the video to continue. I continued to speak, I gave her a hug and she was in the video. It was bringing my personal life into my business to some degree. People know I’m a real person and they get to know and relate to me better.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Tracy Matthewman: My down time is on the weekends, Thursday and Friday nights. Weekends in the summer, most of the time we spend at our cottage, so I’m in the woods by the lake. I’m living in this little house that doesn’t have all the luxuries of a traditional house, so I am living more in nature, so that’s one thing I do in my down time. I read a lot of business books, which doesn’t seem like downtime but for me it is because I love learning, so if I’m learning something, I’m really happy.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Tracy Matthewman:

To be present. This is a hard one because we are always busy. My brain is always on overdrive, so when I’m talking to somebody, when I’m doing something, I’m trying to train myself to be in the present moment. So right now I’m in this interview, I’m focusing on my words, and I’m focusing on your words. I’m being present in this interview trying to give everything I can. When I’m talking to friends, I really listen to them. I pay attention and try to give as much good feedback or energy back into that conversation as possible.
Having balance is one I mentioned before, spending equal amounts of time in all areas.
Setting goals that aren’t too big. I have struggled with this one. I set a goal that’s huge because Donald Trumps says to think big. Thinking big is great but when you set a goal that’s so big and you don’t accomplish it, and you do it again and again you get really discouraged. So I’ve started to set smaller goals that are achievable but still a reach for me, but not so big that when I don’t get it I become disappointed because after a few times you start to think of yourself as a complete failure. So it’s important to set smaller goals whether they are weekly monthly or even yearly. If you are only making $50,000 and you want to make a million dollars by the end of the year, that’s probably going to be a stretch. Set realistic goals with a certain amount of reach that will make you stretch a little bit.
Choosing to be happy which I mentioned already. When you’re feeling miserable, one of the tips I heard from someone is to look up to the sky, or if you are not near to a window, look to the ceiling of your room and smile as big as you can. A big, huge smile on your face and just stare at the ceiling for five or 10 seconds and that will help you to instantly feel better. Choose to be happy instead of waiting to be happy is important.
Saying no to things that are just going to distract you. Pick one or two things to focus on, and this is in terms of business, anything else that comes up you have to say no to, so you focus on the one or two goals and get them to where you want them to be. Learning to say no is a huge life lesson for people to learn.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Tracy Matthewman: One thing I do is communicate with my audience quite a bit, and I also ask them questions. I can do surveys or I can just look at their feedback. I always encourage comments on my blog, and so with that I get ideas. I also look at trends that are happening in the market place, and I listen to what other people are saying, and what other people are doing, and I look for trends in those types of activities.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Tracy Matthewman: “Be the change you want to see in the world” by Gandhi. This is ultimately my favourite quote because there are so many things in the world that I wish I could change, and the first step to changing them is by changing my own actions.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Tracy Matthewman: Success to me is the three areas that I previously said. In the wealth area, you have to be happy with the amount of wealth you have in your life. It’s not the first thing or the priority. In this country that we live in, this area of the world, if you don’t have a lot of money you may struggle, and a lot of money is relative. But if you do not have a lot of money, you’re unable to help other people as well. One thing I truly believe in is that if you have the capacity to make more money to help more people, I feel it’s the obligation of the individuals who have the capacity to do that – to put out into the world what they can, to get back so they can help people who may not have the opportunities that you or I or other people listening may have.

We have a lot of capabilities and just sitting back and watching those talents go to waste, you’re not helping anybody, and you’re not helping yourself, or the planet. Health is also a big thing because if you have all the wealth in the world and your health is terrible, what kind of life is that? But if you have your health and no money, that’s not much fun either. The last one is happiness and that’s where other aspects come in like balance, less stress, being emotionally and mentally stable, being spiritual and giving back, all those other things that are more for the soul. I think those are the three main things we should focus on in balancing our lives and when we do that our lives will be filled with abundance.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Tracy Matthewman: Ongoing learning and doing. I’m a doer and usually when I go to any training program, or buy a new training program, I’m drooling at the mouth to start learning it and then when I’m done, and usually before I am done, when I’m going through chapters and modules I usually implement things right away. The step is to first learn how to do something and then implement it right away. If and when you fail, learn from your failures and implement again. That’s the only way you’re going to get better.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Tracy Matthewman: Find something you love doing and figure out a way to make an income from it. And incorporating that with giving back to the world, we should be helping people or helping the planet. If I look at my own story, I love marketing and I love technology, and I’m a logical thinker. I come from a programming background, to take that element of my natural talent, combine it with marketing which is something that I really love, and combine that into a business that helps people. It doesn’t matter what your love is, somebody is out there being successful doing it, so it’s just a matter of figuring out what that is and how to do it.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Tracy Matthewman:

Albert Einstein because he was one of those people who was looked at by society as a little bit crazy, yet he turned out to be brilliant and changed the course of humanity.
There are some other people who again when they first came out with ideas they were often looked at as out of the norm of society and those are the types of people who create revolutions and transformations on the planet. I would say something to those types of people and it would be, “Thank you for being you! Thank you for being unique because your uniqueness changed the world.”

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Tracy Matthewman: There has been a lot just looking at my library right now. One book which had an impact on me is UnMarketing: Stop Marketing, Start Engaging by Scott Stratten. That was an excellent book and I realize that today’s marketing arena is so much more personal. It’s not the advertising it’s more based around a relationship experience or a personal touch. That book brought that home for me.

Another book I read a long time ago is The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari: A Fable About Fulfilling Your Dreams & Reaching Your Destiny. That book started me on the personal development road and it made me think differently because before that time in my life I was brought up as an average thinking person who didn’t have any sort of personal thoughts going on in her head. I led a fairly normal life. My parents weren’t necessarily all that encouraging of me to do whatever I wanted to do in life. It’s was “why don’t you become a secretary?” There was nothing really inspiring in my life. That book completely changed the way I think and the way my life was responding to my thoughts.

Note from Avil: I have changed this question a lot, so Tracy’s response is to one of the many iterations of the question.

Tracy Matthewman: I would make a little hut, have camp fires every night, eat coconuts and bananas, make friends with the monkeys, braid my hair, soak up the sun, walk barefoot on the sand, make or build something that took a long time because if I’m going to be there for two years I need something to keep me going for a while so I don’t get bored – something intricate and detailed.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Tracy Matthewman: What excites me is change. I love change and one of the things that I definitely want to do before 2014 is to move to another country. I have set that date for myself. To me, that’s a big change, and it excites me. For some people, those types of change are way too scary. So I love change and I love new things, and obviously those are closely related.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Tracy Matthewman: Recently with meditation and reading books that help me to get to know myself better, and also taking part in activities that are helping my personal mission in life. I mentioned my favourite quote, “Being the change you want to see in the world,” so I nurture my soul by being that change.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Tracy Matthewman: I would use it to change the dream of the Western world because the Western world right now is into consumption, and we feel like we have to have all this stuff, and because of that huge demand for stuff, it’s actually destroying our planet. And if I could change one thing it would me that dream that everybody have this idea in marketing that tell us we have to have all these things. So if we could change that dream of consumption to something that would help the planet, that would be great.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Tracy Matthewman: At the cottage in the hammock looking at my daughter barefoot playing in the sand.

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Mentor Yourself With Shirley Adrain, COO, Societe Generale Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 09:30:07 +0000

Interviewee Name: Shirley Adrain, COO

Company Name: Asia Pacific Technology at Societe Generale

Website: http://www.societegenerale.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Shirley Adrain: I’m a mom and wife and I’ve got a career in investment banking information technology. In addition to that I sing, paint, cook and try to keep fit.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Shirley Adrain: I timetable everything. To cope with everything, I write a list and make sure that everything is timetabled. For me, that just gives me a bit more control – that I can cope with everything.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Shirley Adrain: I like spending time with my friends and family just relaxing, doing something with my daughter, generally outside doing some exercise.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Shirley Adrain:

Take responsibility for your actions and not blame other people.
Surround myself with positive people and use them to help me develop and act as a sounding board for issues.
Face my fears and do them anyway.
Take the road less traveled.
Have as much fun as possible.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Shirley Adrain: Have confidence that you’re going to have an idea and use lateral thinking. I always know that I’m going to come up with a solution, and I sit there for a while, and quite often I come up with the idea in the middle of the night if I haven’t thought about it and didn’t get the answer during the day. It comes to me in the night. But I think it’s knowing that you are going to come up with a good idea and letting your subconscious work on it. So it’s really harnessing the power of the subconscious mind.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Shirley Adrain: Well being Scottish, I have to go for a Scottish quote, “What’s for you wont’ go by you,” which means what’s for you in life won’t go past you so it’s having that confidence that you’re going to get success.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Shirley Adrain: Success is being what you want to be in life, being happy, achieving something and looking back at your achievements. The formula for success is simply believing in yourself. It has to be key; and choosing excellence, always trying to do the best you can, and learning and growing from your mistakes. You have to focus and continue to improve, that’s important.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Shirley Adrain: I’ve had some great bosses who I have learned a lot from, and it is good to have different bosses because they teach you different things. My job requires working with a lot of people and building relationships. I enjoy doing that, as well as building a great team is really important. A lot of my roles have been global and regional and in those circumstances it’s really important to build relationships with all the people in all the locations to spend time with them and understand their needs. And when you want to roll something out, when I have rolled things out on a global and regional basis, I spend time lobbying the key people before hand, before I ask for a decision to be made. It makes it that much easier and ensures that I deliver what they want, so they’ll buy into it.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Shirley Adrain: The world of work is now very different from when I started out working. Today it’s key to build a good network and to use the network to help you. There are so many people and not enough jobs so it’s about thinking about yourself and your personal brand, having that level of confidence and building that network and trying different ways to get into your field of work. And also getting as much coaching and mentoring as possible really helps.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Shirley Adrain: I guess I would want to meet inspirational people.

Nelson Mandela would be a great person to meet.
Gandhi has so many successes so I’d like to look at some of what he did.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Shirley Adrain: It is The Road Less Traveled because it’s a book that I’ve read a few times, and it makes you think about how you live your life and what decisions you make. It’s about where you are going in life. For me it made me realize that I had to look at my life mission statement, and where I wanted to go in life. I’m sure that once I’m clear on what I want to be doing in my life, to make sure that what I choose to do is in alignment with that, so when I look back I know that I’ve done the right thing, and can be proud of what I have achieved. I don’t want to be looking back and having a lot of regrets.

Shirley Adrain: I would want to learn a lot of things so I would take a couple of big books and spend time reading and thinking about them. I would also write a book since I would have so much time, and think about what I could give back to others.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Shirley Adrain: All the different challenges that life has. I have been very fortunate to work and live in different countries, so I’m continually learning about the different cultures I am exposed to. I think it’s about learning new things and I also like meeting new people. I like not knowing what’s going to happen next – uncertainty and change is something that I enjoy.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Shirley Adrain: Helping others and trying to make a difference! I get a lot of pleasure when I’m able to help others.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Shirley Adrain: I would wish that people could live together more happily – have more fun and get along.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Shirley Adrain: I’m with the people I love and I’m doing something that I’m passionate about.

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Tina Brillinger, President & CEO of Global Food Safety Resource Centre Inc. Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 09:30:53 +0000

Name: Tina Brillinger, President & CEO

Company Name: Global Food Safety Resource Centre Inc.

Website: http ://www .globalfoodsafetyresource .com

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and other aspects of your life?

Tina Brillinger: As a fairly new business owner, this is something I struggle with daily, often feeling pulled in so many different directions. I am trying to make changes to strike a greater balance between my work/life balance. As time passes, I am getting better at this, without feeling guilty and knowing my mental and physical health depend on it.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Tina Brillinger: Time is spent with family, friends and my Sheltie Jewels. I enjoy cooking, travelling, entertaining, reading, movies, scuba diving, golfing, skiing and Nordic pole walking.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Tina Brillinger:

Regardless of circumstances, your past does not have to dictate how your life will turn out. The beauty of being an adult is that we have the freedom to make our own choices; eliminating those things or people who are not good for us.
A good education is a prerequisite to a life well lived, never to be taken for granted.
Everyone deserves a second chance – give yourself permission to have that second chance, that is, a second marriage, new job.
We learn more from our mistakes than the things we do correctly.
What constitutes a family depends on who is being asked; outside regular blood-relatives, a family can be represented through non-blood relations, friends who become family of the heart; same-gender partners – in essence anyone with whom you have a strong emotional connection that cares about you deeply.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Tina Brillinger:

Research by always reading interesting books.
Brainstorming with others to come up with “out-of-the-box” ideas.
Driving in my car where I’m relaxed listening to music.
Scribbling, sketching or writing down as many ideas as possible .

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Tina Brillinger: “Givers have to set limits because takers never do” (unknown). Generally all people fall into two categories: givers and takers. Most givers don’t know how to set limits opening themselves up to constant takers. Takers like to find givers who don’t have set limits because they will take advantage of them and their generosity sometimes leaving the giver in a compromised situation. If you are a giver, set a limit on your time, money or energy that you can reasonably afford to give, and won’t compromise your well-being or circumstances. Develop a backbone because once that limit has been reached, takers will challenge you to cross it. Make a commitment not to let others cross it, unless it’s life threatening. If you set limits, chances are takers will not see you as weak and exploitable.

“Be the change that you want to see in the world” (Gandhi). In my view, there is no room for armchair pacifists in this world – they will never make a change to improve their circumstances or the world around them. If you truly want something to change then you must not wait for others to take action; be the impetus for change, no matter how big or small it is. The one thing successful people have in common is the belief that they alone can make a difference and they don’t wait around for others to act.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Tina Brillinger: Courage + Determination + Hard work + Perseverance = Success!

Success comes from a feeling of satisfaction in knowing you’ve reached your goal.

Avil Beckford: What steps did you take to succeed in your field?

Tina Brillinger:

Listening to what others had to say.
Continuous learning, no matter how irrelevant or seemingly benign it may be at the time.
Determination, strong work ethic; perseverance and courage.
Recognizing talent; surrounding myself with people who know more than me.
Making a business plan.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out today?

Tina Brillinger: There is room at the top for those who do things well. Keep high standards, be creative, be open to change and opportunities. If you don’t derive a certain satisfaction out of what you do then change it up. Don’t be afraid of failing….be afraid of belonging to the status quo!

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people (living or dead) that you’ve always wanted to meet, whom would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Tina Brillinger:

Elton John – Your music comforts me and has touched my soul when I hear it
Nelson Mandela – Your strength and determination to fulfill your vision has made your country and world a better place. Thank you!!
My Great-Great Grandmother who was full-blooded Algonquin – I’d like to hear about the kind of life she lived with my Great-Great Grandfather a French-Canadian. My family dates back to circa 1642.
Thomas Edison – I’d Ask him about his process for coming up with brilliant ideas
Indira Gandhi – Ask whether she would change anything in the course of her life, knowing she would be assassinated.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Tina Brillinger: A Long Way Gone, Memoirs of a Boy Soldier, by Ishmael Beah – This is a first person account of his life as a boy soldier, one of the 300,000 child soldiers living in Sierra Leone. Ishmael’s narrative voice had such clarity when describing how he became indoctrinated as a boy soldier, what he witnessed and how he survived. Riveting, yet disturbing; Ishmael’s takes the reader down his road to hell describing how the rebels use children to commit genocide against their own tribes. His determination to survive and escape, through what can only be described as hell on earth, was extremely courageous. His willingness to share his painful story with such honestly is admirable. After becoming rehabilitated, Ishmael joined the United Nations, as a Spokesperson to help end the practice of recruiting child soldiers. Surviving such hell to tell his story is inspiring.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the time? The prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million.

A toothbrush, hair accessories and sun hat; two deck of cards; pens and journals for writing; Movie: Fried Green Tomatoes, Elton John’s Tiny Dancer Album, my mask, snorkel and fins plus my dive knife, and hiking boots.

If you cannot view Elton John’s Tiny Dancer YouTube video, please click here.

The five books:

1. The War of the End of the World, Mario Vargas LLosa

2. Identifying and Harvesting Edible and Medicinal Plants in Wild, Steve Brill

3. The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger

4. Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte

5. Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, by Malcolm Gladwell

What I would do for two years:

Get lots of sleep until I was fully rested, enjoy some solitary time unfettered by a rushed world.
Take my mask, fins and snorkel and explore the underworld around the island.
Go hiking in search of edible and exotics plants, cook interesting dishes.
I would read books, play backgammon and solitaire and write my memoir.
Have many fires and sing songs, make up different instruments with whatever was available.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Tina Brillinger: Things that visually delight me, nature, travelling to new places, learning something new, pushing limits and taking risks, that is, sky-diving, scuba diving, starting my own company, reaching a goal.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Tina Brillinger: Being with people who comfort me (my husband, children and friends), music, and being in water (bath, scuba)

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Tina Brillinger: Ten years of great health and the financial resources to travel and participate in greatest adventures: Europe on the Orient Express, take an underwater tour of the Titanic or orbital flight, African safari.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Tina Brillinger: I am underwater, scuba diving with my dive buddy and husband Randy – the serenity balances and soothes me, against an otherwise chaotic world.

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Karen Parsons, Human Excellence Coach Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 09:30:02 +0000

Interviewee Name: Karen Parsons, Human Excellence Coach

Company Name: Successful Solutions

Website: http://www.karenparsons.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Karen Parsons: I am a life and business excellence coach, speaker and author. I help empower successful professionals and organizations to further excel, using my depth of understanding about human potential and how to leverage it. The beginning of any change must start with awareness. You cannot change what you cannot see. So I assist my clients bring to the surface; limiting beliefs, perceptions and behaviours that are the hidden barriers to achieving their highest potential. I then provide them with transformational tools, processes and techniques for implementing lasting and positive change!

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Karen Parsons: I learned the hard way through my back injury what can happen when you continually push yourself and don’t listen to your body. The culture within most corporations is that the more you do, the more you can get accomplished. The faster you move, the busier you are, the more you are getting done. This is not true and I have a lot of proof to back this up. This is one of the things I teach corporations. Stay vigilant to balance. It will make you more successful, it will make your company more successful. Most achievers are about doing, doing and doing more. So they find it difficult to shut off the computer, lock the office door and do something for themselves but it must be done. Schedule personal time into your schedule.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Karen Parsons:

Life is short so figure out how to enjoy it.
Work shouldn’t be work. It should be gratifying, meaningful, interesting and fun. Don’t settle for just a pay check.
You are responsible for your own happiness don’t expect others to behave in ways that make you happy. Happiness comes from learning self mastery, meaning that you control your inner experience instead of trying to control your outer experience, which is impossible.
Live a life of gratitude.
Leave a legacy

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Karen Parsons: Walking the dogs, kite surfing, mountain bike riding, spending time with my family, playing the drums, snowboarding and I meditate or do yoga every day. I also help a school in the Caribbean, developing their sponsorship program. It is very gratifying.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Karen Parsons: Meditations, long walks, deep breathing. Dreams. All of these things help me connect to my most creative self and inspire ideas for me. If I am feeling overwhelmed, stressed or any negative emotions, I don’t’ try to generate ideas in those moments. It is futile and a waste of time.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Karen Parsons: “Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible” by Frank Gaines. Most of us go through life very unconscious, just going through the motions without full awareness. The more you increase your awareness, become more present and conscious, the more you make the invisible visible, you see more possibilities, more choices, and this is how you create your greatest life.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Karen Parsons: Success to me is when you can wake up with a smile on your face and go to bed with a smile on your face and in between you made a positive difference doing what you are passionate about. The formula for success, is don’t settle for anything less than the greatest you and when you are the greatest you, you create great success. Don’t buy in to the dogma that life has to be a struggle, yes of course there are difficult times and many challenges but it doesn’t mean you have to give in to them and let them control who you are. Grow from them, become stronger and figure out what you need to change to make you happy and then do it. This to me is real success.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Karen Parsons:

Making sure and always asking the question, “Is this what I want to do, is this making me happy?”
Creating a vision and then making goals and objectives of how to get there.
Staying connected to my most creative self that constantly gives me guidance on where to go and what to do next.
Discipline, working hard but also realizing that hard work is not the most important part of the formula for success. Are you self sabotaging your success through negative self talk, are you creating a lot of inner conflict? Staying true to practices that keep me aware of what my real thoughts and intentions are because this is what really can make or break success.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Karen Parsons: Stay true to your vision, and get in touch with your authentic you. This will give you the vision and strength to create the life and work that will be most gratifying to you. Find a mentor, or many mentors. Of course I really believe in coaching. It can save so much time and energy and create meaningful success faster. Read self-help books and find balance.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Karen Parsons: Oprah Winfrey, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, and Wayne Dyer. I would be interested to be in their presence and see what that feels like. I wouldn’t say much to them, I would be more interested in listening to what they have to say.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Karen Parsons: There have been so many books that have impacted me at different times in my life. But if I had to choose one, I think it would have to be the The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart tolle. It really helped take me to the next level in my development and was a powerful influence.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the time? T he prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million?

Karen Parsons: I would bring my make-up, hair dryer…just kidding. The necessities of life not withstanding, I would bring:

Hat, pen and paper or a laptop to write about my experience.
Educational books that would help keep my mind sharp.
Joke book and inspirational book to help get me through the difficult times.
Picture of my loved ones and perhaps some home movies.

I would spend my time meditating, exercising, doing yoga, exploring, writing, reading, eating. I would learn how to survive on my own. I think that would be a challenge, that is, make a fire from sticks, make a shelter and so on. I would observe nature a lot and really figure out the ecosystem and how it all interconnects and I would write about it.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Karen Parsons: Life excites me. I love life and I love people.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Karen Parsons: My relationships, charity, my work nurtures my soul and that is why I do it, mediation, yoga, the feeling of freedom I get from the many sports I do and reading and writing.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Karen Parsons: I would wish that people would come to understand that they have the power to be happy. I have found the formula to happiness and success and I am living it. It is possible. We all just need some guidance and support to get there.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Karen Parsons: I am happy NOW!

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Mike DeSousa Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 09:30:30 +0000

Interviewee Name: Mike DeSousa

Website: http://www.mikedesousa.ca

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Mike DeSousa: I am a Career Social Media specialist who helps recruiters & employers find superior employee talent FAST using Social Media. As well, I am a Public Speaker who trains Non-Profit Agency staff on how to market their job-seeking clients, helping them to find work FAST.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Mike DeSousa: My work is based on the personal aspects of my life; I see them as both revolving around helping others. I consider myself the same person in my personal life and in the other aspects. I actually seek to integrate them together, which my wife doesn’t appreciate — she looks at work as something she does outside of her personal life, and believes in keeping them separate.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Mike DeSousa:

Work your buns off
Give yourself a lofty, challenging goal — don’t set the bar too low
Out-strategize others
Ask more of yourself & set tight deadlines
Tie in your daily activities towards your long-term goals & reward yourself each time you complete a tiny step

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Mike DeSousa: Reading, learning, surfing the net, working on my passion (“Public Speaking”). No ‘downtime’ for this guy. Sometimes watch some movies, though I’d rather do something active than escape to the “mind candy of TV”.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Mike DeSousa: I make connections between different areas that I read; stream-of-consciousness thinking. Forced Morphological Connections — generating categories of aspects of different things & recombining them into something new.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Mike DeSousa:

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.”

It reminds me of our decision-making process for life “decisionism,” and reminds me of the life decisions that I’ve reached… Being a contrarian, I also choose to take the path that “was grassy and wanted wear”. Given that Robert Frost also suffered with depressions, it feels that both him and his words speak to me. Personally, I rhyme like Dr. Seuss!

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Mike DeSousa: My definition of success is making a difference in others’ lives, reaching your personal goals, making the world a better place, and working towards the flexibility to make your own choices through financial independence. The formula for success? No one has the same formula — each one has to find their own personal formula based on their strengths, needs, interests, etc. My personal formula entails hard work, strategic thinking, creating value for others, having an unquentionable thirst for knowledge, discipline, pursuing your passion, and following your strengths.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Mike DeSousa: I used an existing media (Social Media) and apply it into a new arena. I researched and ‘power-learned’ this new area, developed innovative workshops, my Brand, started presenting at Conferences, building relationships, and helping others. I’d find opportunities found me in proportion to the amount that I helped others and took a sincere interest in them, giving without expecting something in return, listening to others with my Heart/Brain/Gut/Soul, identified areas of value & gaps for them, offering them solutions, and tieing in my Value Proposition to their needs while focusing on the benefits for them.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Mike DeSousa: Identify exactly what you want that is “play” and fun that also pays the bills (your end goal), help others achieve theirs, wake up early to work towards your goal, tie in your daily goals to your end goal, become an expert through reading/watching YouTube videos/doing, market yourself, and have fun. Do what you love that also pays the bills or that can help you pay the bills.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Mike DeSousa:

Jesus Christ: I’d say “teach me”
Alexander The Great: “What was your secret to getting men to follow you?”
Winston Churchill: “What led to your greatness as a speech-writer and orator?”
My (recently deceased) Dad: Tell me your life story and that of our family
Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, Pierre Trudeau, or Brian Mulroney: What were your secrets to winning in politics?

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Mike DeSousa: Either of the following three…

The Bible (no one single story — the impact of cumulative parables, interlinked for a common message of Love
The Little Prince, for its simplicity and many parables, that takes on new meaning with each life event that you experience
The Art of War, on winning, outworking, and out-strategizing everyone.

Mike DeSousa:

Five Books:

One of Winston Churchill’s
Compendium of Marvel Super Heroes origins in English & Spanish
Learning Mandarin/Cantonese
Learn Yoga & Chinese
Some comedy book

Movie: The Shawshank Redemption
Music CD: With my MacBook & iPhone with satellite capabilities & iTune, I’d download unlimited music selections
One Suitcase: Sunlight-powered satellite MacBook tripped out with a lot of software titles to learn, laptop with extended battery life, mosquito net, mosquito-free clothes, solar-powered iPhone with satellite wifi connectivity, soccer ball, weather-appropriate clothes
Travel on case: Soap, Razor, nail clipper, nail file, pen, anti-mosquito device

For the two years I’d spend the time learning (languages, tai chi/yoga, history), playing soccer, dancing, listening to music, playing music (forgot to mention a harmonica & a flute), Skyping/Google Circling Friends, contacting Invisible Mentors, journaling, developing a portfolio of products & services, reading comic books, becoming an expert on investments… I would be doing what I love to do, rather than pandering to the audience of viewers; one must remain authentic. “To thy self be true”.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Mike DeSousa: Being of service to others. It makes me so happy to know that I have helped to “unstick” someone from a state of complacency or a limiting belief, and that I have given them hope, taught them new knowledge, and motivated them to develop new skills and use one of my ideas to propel themself forward in life.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Mike DeSousa: I learn, help people, speak professionally, listen to music, think, feel, swim….

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Mike DeSousa: 1,000,000 more wishes, of course!

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Mike DeSousa: I use my strengths to help others discover and act upon their talents and strengths.

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Martha Mertz Part II

Avil Beckford — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 20:20:58 +0000

Interviewee Name: Martha Mertz, Entrepreneur and Founder of ATHENA International

Website: http://marthamertz.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Martha Mertz: I’m a businesswoman who started company in 1978, at a time when woman weren’t starting companies. Women weren’t running companies, women weren’t considered leaders. I started the company, it was small, it was modest and I grew it into a very successful company. I ended up developing properties, most of which I retained, and these were commercial properties that were in Michigan. So that’s my business track and I learned a lot about business and life and about myself by having that experience. Along the way I started an initiative that has to do with women in leadership, which has now become international in its coverage. That has also been an experience from which I have drawn deep understanding, great motivation, and incredible perspective about the world we’re living in now, and the progress we’re making, and where we need to continue to go.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Martha Mertz: I know that I need time to relax and to regroup and re-nourish myself. And I also know that there are times when I have lots of things that are required of me, so when that happens I spend a lot of my energy, I go full out, but then I know that I need to stop and re-nourish. If I don’t I’ll just get sick, so either my brain follows my advice or my body shuts me down. But I have never really had a problem doing that because – maybe this is unique and maybe it isn’t – I have the capacity to close my office and leave everything behind and go home and be there and fully BE there at home, and not drag all of the concerns and assignments at home with me, unless they’re so pressing that I cannot ignore them, then I do something about them. But I’m pretty good at being able to separate the two and I think for any person who works really hard and have a lot to do it’s really important to find a balance.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Martha Mertz: I have been talking about them through this conversation. Things like be authentic and I think those were things that were learned the hard way. I have had to go to a lot of life experiences to come to those understanding, but when a person does get to a point of understanding something you have the choice of adopting it or ignoring. Maybe the best thing I can say is to learn the lessons when they happen to you and alter whatever it is you need to do to get to understanding, because if you don’t learn it the first time, it’s going to come back around, and it will be a bigger circumstance and a harder hit. Stay alert so when something comes along and bumps into you it’s best to learn it then.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Martha Mertz: I have a wonderful relationship with my husband and part of the reason that it is so wonderful and rewarding for us is that we make a point of spending some time together every day without interruptions. So there is no television, no phone, no other people, it’s the two of us having a conversation every day unless he’s gone or I’m out of town. But when we’re home together that’s been an important part of our mutual understanding, keeping up with each other. Some of the great advice and support come mutually back-and-forth so I do that. I love to cook, I love to entertain, so we do a lot of that. Sometimes when I travel I’ll bring home spices from other places and use them, or bring back recipes or cooking utensils that I have never used before. And of course reading, I do a lot of the reading.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Martha Mertz: The most active way that I have used to generate great ideas is through meditation, and I’m not very good at meditation, but often times if I manage to quiet my mind, and usually it’s in the middle of the night. I sit in my living room and look at the sky and something will occur to me, something that I wasn’t conscious of thinking about or dealing with, but some idea will come which will present itself as a solution to a circumstance that I have been musing about. Great ideas have come from putting together various pieces of information and ideas from other people, weaving those things together ultimately is a new idea and it’s coming from many sources. Many of my best ideas come through this kind of weaving of all the people’s thoughts along with my own and it equals to a new place.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Martha Mertz: A long time ago I was inspired by a quotation by Plato, “What is honoured in a country will be cultivated there,” and that is the founding quote for Athena International. The whole philosophy of Athena is behind that quote. What that means is when you honour someone for a certain kind of behaviour, or certain qualities and characteristics they have, then other people will look at that person and their characteristics and they will find them honourable and they will be inspired to emulate those things, so that’s what gave rise to Athena. We wanted to honour one outstanding woman who was a leader in a community for her excellence and her giving back and her opening up opportunities for others, particularly for women. When we put those criteria together, we hoped other people would find those qualities something valuable for themselves, and ultimately that’s what happened. So Plato wins my bet for a quote.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success?

Martha Mertz: Success isn’t always what the culture tells us it is, and I think success comes in different realms. There is personal success and there is professional success. For professional success for me it has been to set out a set of goals for myself and then to achieve them. And some of those goals in my mind have been moving mountains kind of goals. But when I’ve achieved it, it seems like a very large accomplishment, and indeed it is. For personal goals, I think it is being happy with who and what I am. That is success for me.

Avil Beckford: In your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Martha Mertz: Envision the goal, where you want to go, and let the path toward that goal find you. In other words, know where you’re going, what is the ultimate goal, get a picture of it in your mind and don’t plan every step to get to it, a strategic plan works in business but it doesn’t necessarily work in life. Hold it in your mind, as long as I can see it, what it will look like, then I will find my way to that, and that’s been my formula for success. Some would call that having an intention.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Martha Mertz: The ones I outlined in my formula for success and that’s what I would also advise someone who is just starting out – envision the goal, visualize what it looks like when you have arrived at where you want to get to, and you can make a plan and work the plan but always know what the outcome is going to look like. Most of us don’t do that. Most of us decide these are the things I have to do today, we go day-by-day but we don’t stop to contemplate where we are going. And it isn’t just necessarily about making money. I’ve never thought that women just work for money, we do need it, but it isn’t the satisfying factor for women. Women prefer to affect change in the world, to cause something to happen, and satisfaction comes from finding a way to make a change in the world.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Martha Mertz:

I would like to meet Mary Robinson who was the first female president of Ireland. I would just love to have a conversation with her. She went on to be the UN special envoy for human rights. All of the values in statements I have read of hers are aligned so closely with what I value and admire.
I would like to meet Barack Obama. I think he is a change agent in the world. I read an article once that said he leads like a woman, which is the highest form of praise from me because I think women’s ways of leading are the gold standard for this new century. I would love to have a conversation with him just to know what happens in his mind, what he is thinking as he carries so much weight right now in the world because it’s so important for all of us.
I grew up looking at Audrey Hepburn thinking she was beautiful, then finding her to be appealing in lots of ways. She ended up also being a special envoy for the UN and I liked her values too, but she lived at a time, and she was a celebrity whose values I thought were worth looking at. She wasn’t just beautiful but she also had substance.
I would like to meet Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela. Those two people during this last period of time were the greatest change agents in our world. Both of them had great struggles and came through them in ways that were admirable. I wouldn’t necessarily want to say something to them because if I was with somebody like that I would want to be there to listen. It’s not what I want to say, it’s what I want to learn, so I would be there to listen.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Martha Mertz: Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl because it was such an understanding of courage and hope and personal empowerment in the face of impossible circumstances. That uplifted me in a way that never went away. I was very moved and influenced by Viktor Frankl.

Avil Beckford: If you were stranded on a deserted island, what are five books that you would like to have with you and why?

Martha Mertz:

I would like to take a large, bound copy of the New York Time Crossword Puzzle.
The Oxford Dictionary.
The Complete Works of Shakespeare.
War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy.
I would take millions of pages of empty pages to serve as a personal journal, as well as an opportunity for me to write a book. If I am there on a deserted island I might have to resort to my own imagination and creativity, so I might write novels – mystery stories or fantasies, or whatever I remember or whatever I’ve learned. So I’d like to do my own writing.

Avil Beckford: What one music CD and movie would you like to have with you (on the deserted island) and why?

Martha Mertz: I’d like to have a CD of Beethoven: The 9 Symphonies [Box Set] and the movie would be Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

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If you cannot view this YouTube video of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, please click here.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Martha Mertz: Everything! Having the opportunity to explore, learn, grow, make friends, step up and make a difference. Having the opportunity and the ability to making a difference is the biggest of those.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Martha Mertz: I write in a journal. I learn a lot about myself when I write and I always date the entries that I make. I keep them, they are only for me, they are private and I can go back, and I find it interesting how certain thoughts or circumstances have evolved over a period of time that’s both instructive and nurturing. A great relationship with my husband is also nurturing, and I must say that my children have been my greatest teachers in my life, and they nurture me.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Martha Mertz: I would like her to allow me to start all over again in this life, but allow me to carry with me what I know now. I think I would stop and enjoy the moments more. I’m one that’s so focused on getting things done and moving another mountain that sometimes I have forgotten to just enjoy being where I am. If I had a chance to go back and start all over again I would pay attention, I would learn different things and I would enjoy being where I am.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Martha Mertz: I am happy now, I’m always happy. Maybe it’s because I live in Sedona. Everybody says there are vortexes here, and that it’s the positive vibration in the energy. Or maybe it’s because there are so many days of sunshine. So I’m happy when I’m at home enjoying this beautiful place I have chosen to live in. I’m happy for all of the blessings that I have in life.

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Beethoven “Pastoral” Symphony – 5th Movement

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