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Mentor Yourself: An Interview With Shannon Moroney, Author, Advocate & Speaker, Part II

Avil Beckford — Fri, 11 May 2012 11:29:07 +0000

Invisible Mentor: Shannon Moroney, Author, Advocate & Speaker

Website: http://www.shannonmoroney.com/

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Shannon Moroney: I’m the author of a book that just came out titled Through the Glass. It’s my memoir of a personal experience as a victim of crime but moreover of the spouse of an offender and the journey through the justice system. I’m based in Toronto, and I travel all over the place doing public speaking and putting some of my efforts into restorative justice.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Shannon Moroney: It’s a challenge! I think so much of my professional life is personal because it is about sharing my story. When I go to do a speaking engagement I always bring somebody with me who is just for me – my husband, my mom, my dad, a friend – and that brings everyone together so that I’m not alone with my experiences. When I go out and speak to a community group or work in a prison, somebody is there with me just to share it, and to debrief afterwards and that’s a really wonderful thing and I I’m lucky can do that.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Shannon Moroney: I spend it doing the things I want to do, and spend it with people who I love to be with. The work that I do is very emotional and involves a lot of output so I really have to focus my downtime on recharging my batteries. I love to cook. I like to do yoga. I can’t wait until I’m not pregnant so that I can really exercise again – that would be good. I try to do things that are a pleasure, relaxing. Definitely the most helpful and grounding activity for me, other than spending time with my loved ones is doing creative work, whether it’s painting or knitting or making a photo album, something that involves creativity is a really grounding force for me.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Shannon Moroney:

Know yourself. Act within your own values else you’ll be very uncomfortable.
Prioritize the people in your life over possessions and work.
The days sometimes go by slowly but the years go by quickly, and it’s good to embrace what you have every day because you don’t know how quickly it can change. I was grateful before this trauma happened I was somebody who was quite aware, and appreciated my life. When the life I knew suddenly came to an end, I knew that I hadn’t wasted any time before that happened.
Let people talk about you, sometimes you have to stand up for yourself, and other times you have to try not to take things personally, because most people when they criticize, they are coming from where they’re at in their own lives.
Be compassionate and hope that the compassion you show for other people, and the understanding and trying to put your feet in somebody else’s shoes is what you can expect from other people, and that you’ll be shown that same compassion.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Shannon Moroney: Success is a generalized feeling of positivity, of the right combination of purpose, fulfilling your purpose that you define for yourself, and having people around to share it with. For me, that’s really important. We use the word balance a lot these days, and I think it’s important to try to achieve the right balance of work and play, volunteering and having time for yourself – that’s a good formula to try to achieve. It’s different for every person.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Shannon Moroney:

Frida Kahlo, the Mexican self-portrait artist. I would thank her for being an example of someone who could be open to the pain she was in, and not try to make it pretty. She’s not trying to please anybody but herself through her artwork, and in so doing, impacted a lot of people.
I’d love to meet Lucille Ball just because in my family whenever anyone was feeling sick, the solution was always to eat cinnamon toast and watch I Love Lucy, so I feel like she is a member of my family.
There are some authors that I’d like to meet and have dinner with. But mostly I would be very nervous about what I would say to them. I would listen to what they have to say to me and not do too much of the talking myself. Authors I admire are Barbara Kingsolver and Jeannette Walls who wrote a fantastic memoir called The Glass Castle and Lucy Maud Montgomery who wrote all the Anne of Green Gables books because I feel the values she puts forward in her books, as I read them as a young girl, impacted how I grew. The character of Anne shaped who I wanted to be – how she was different from other people, coped with her own frustrations. All those authors are people I’d like to thank for what they give, and for giving me a story or a book I can read and learn so much from.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Shannon Moroney: There are many books but I’ll say The Catcher in the Rye even though I haven’t read it for years and years. At the time, I was 16 or 17 when I read it and the main character Holden Caulfield, I felt that I understood him and the actual catcher in the rye is a person that all they want to do is stand on the edge of a cliff and save all the little children who are playing, from falling over the edge of the cliff.

When I read The Catcher in the Rye as a teenager, I knew that’s exactly what I wanted to do in the world was to keep the little children from falling over the cliff, so much so that I wrote that as my ambition in my yearbook, my career ambition. By becoming a teacher, by working with young people who’ve experienced violence, and by finally becoming a mother myself, my passion is for children and young people and trying to keep them away from the dangers, and allow them to grown and fully be themselves. I hold that to the main character Holden Caulfield in The Catcher in the Rye.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the two years? T he prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million?

Shannon Moroney:

Two Years

If there is anyway I could bring my guitar with me, I would because the guitar is the best travel companion. I would try to build a connection with nature around me, observe and get involved with the natural life rather than try to fight it, and look for ways to survive and realize that everything I need would be around me.

I would also spend a lot of my time crying, I’m sure, because I’m a very social, outgoing person, very extroverted, and that would be the number one hardest thing about being on my own, would be not having other people around me.

Five Books

I would take a really long book that I have never read before, something really hard like War and Peace, something that would make me a better person. I have actually lived in some very isolated places where you read anything because there is nothing else to do so it’s a good way to get through hard books.
I would take some of my favourites that I can really escape into. I would take something like Anne of Green Gables: The Collection, or Little Women (Sterling Classics) – these classic books from my childhood that I could escape and love.
I would take one of my favourite Buddhist books of literature, which is The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Library) by Pema Chodron because I think that would give me guidance as I coped with being on this isolated island.
I’d take a Barbara Kingsolver book, maybe Prodigal Summer: A Novel or the The Poisonwood Bible: A Novel. These are the kinds of books that each time you read them you get more so it would be okay to reread them.

Movie & Music CD

For music I would take the Indigo Girls, the album that has “Closer to Fine” (Indigo Girls) which has been a staple of my life. I’m not a big movie person, but it would probably be Little Women. I don’t watch new movies all the time, but Little Women is one I like to watch every year and I feel so comforted. I think where I’m going for this life on the island is for comfort and security and not new or scary or anything like that.

Indigo Girls – Closer To Fine

Cannot view this video, click here. Uploaded by IndigoGirlsVEVO on Oct 25, 2009

Little Women (1933) – Trailer

Cannot view this video, click here. Uploaded by warnervod on Jun 13, 2011

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Shannon Moroney: Possibilities, the opportunity to travel, the growth I have in my relationships. I’m at a wonderful point of new beginnings with my new husband, with our children about to be born. There are a lot of things. I feel so lucky to have the life that I do, to have the perspective that I do, to have come through such a horrible situation. I feel very lucky to live in Canada, very lucky for the opportunities that I have. I’m very lucky for my education and all of those things make life a lot easier, and it’s something that lots of people in the world don’t have, is the opportunity even just to dream and get excited about life because work and daily survival is so important.

For me, even though I lost my ability to dream for a while when I was just having to survive day-to-day and make all these difficult decisions that when I finally emerged and got back that ability to dream and have hope, it’s a wonderful experience. So lots of things excite me about life, and I hope it’s long.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Shannon Moroney: Connecting with nature is the number one thing for me. Usually if I see myself coming off balance because I haven’t spent enough time in and around trees, connecting with the beautiful wilderness that we have in Canada. But I do live in a big city so I also have little practices that I do that offer me a chance to reflect, whether it’s lighting a candle, burning some sage, or just sitting quietly is very important to me. And my soul is nurtured so much by other people and by being around the people who I love.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Shannon Moroney: I would wish for more compassion in our world – that’s the number one thing I could think of, less judgement and more compassion.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Shannon Moroney: I’m happy when I’m with the people I love.

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Book links are affiliate links.

Mentor Yourself: An Interview With Shannon Moroney, Author, Advocate & Speaker(theinvisiblementor.com)
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Mentor Yourself: Interview With Joann Lim, Making It Happen Specialist & Professional Coach, Part II

Avil Beckford — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 11:56:14 +0000

“No matter how much it rains, or how much it pours, the sun will always shine again. It may not be today or it may not be tomorrow, but it will shine.” Joann Lim

Invisible Mentor: Joann Lim, Making It Happen Specialist & Professional Coach

Company Name: Big Picture Fine Focus

Website: http://www.bigpicturefinefocus.com/

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Joann Lim: I’m a connoisseur of life and a make-it-happen specialist. I’m a lover of all things food and world travel.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Joann Lim: Most of the time it’s fairly synergised in the sense that what I do professionally comes into my life personally. The context and the discussions pieces that I have with clients are things I internalize as well. I often give make-it-happen opportunities in my client sessions, and they are pieces that I would never give somebody that I wasn’t willing to do myself. Part of my work is to help people grow within themselves, to have a deeper connection to their lives and to others, by having a deeper connection with themselves.

My work is simply an extension of who I am personally and the more I am as a person the more I am able to offer, the more enriching my professional life becomes.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Joann Lim: I love to travel. I love seeing the world. I think it’s one of the best and most nurturing ways to learn about people and life. I love spending it with family and friends – the people who inspire me, and help me to see things from a different perspective. I love cooking, for me it’s a freedom of expression and creativity, taking ingredients and making it into something of value, of nutrients of nurturing. It’s just a wonderful experience. The last part is just having quiet time. I think that it’s in the silence that I get inspired the most.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Joann Lim:

To truly embrace life we must be willing to face death. And face death in the sense of coming to terms with what death means to us, and how it’s going to impact our lives, and how we may live life differently.
To be completely free, I have to be completely me. We embrace who we are and take responsibility for our lives, and then we can experience true freedom.
Richness and abundance is available to all of us. There are a lot of people who think materialistically, which isn’t abundance that stems from within, and it’s when we have that attitude and perspective that everything in our lives becomes more valuable, meaningful, richer and more abundant.
Let love rule! Love is the ultimate power in our lives. As human beings we have the capacity to love and be loved, and it’s when we open ourselves up, when we’re vulnerable, when we’re willing to give the very best that we can that we truly set ourselves up to receive the very best that life has to offer.
Laugh! Life is not that serious. Have fun, and for some people it may be scheduling fun. If you need to do that, then that’s great. Life isn’t meant to be serious, we’re meant to have a great time. Make it a point to celebrate each day. Find time to make “now” moments “wow” moments because this is your life. Make it one of purpose, meaning, richness and amazingness. Celebrate each day and have fun.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Joann Lim: I listen to a play list every day, it called my big picture play list, and it has artists of all genres that inspire me. Just listening to their words, and the way they communicate truly inspires me. It’s in reading all sorts of different books. Dr Seuss is probably one of my favourite, and sometimes even just looking at a blank journal. Seeing a blank page and having colourful markers in front of me, that’s sometimes all I need to just let loose and be free.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Joann Lim: “Dying is an inevitable consequence of life, living is man’s privilege.” In that quotation we are challenged or invited to think of living as no longer an obligation of “I have to,” but it’s a privilege of “I get to.”

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Joann Lim: Make success part of the journey. If success is the journey, every day will be a success. Love what you do, give everything that you have, give your best every single day, and you will set yourself up to have the very best that life has to offer.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Joann Lim:

Identified what success meant to me. To make success meaningful to me I needed to understand how I defined it.
Asking myself what it would look like to give my best to the world.
How can I be more completely me? And that ties into the step above. How can I give more to this world? What do I need to give my best?
Sharing, sharing with everybody. Sharing honestly and authentically. Just being me with the people around me. Be willing to be vulnerable, sharing the ups and the downs. And beyond that, giving them a space to be completely them.
Perseverance – to not let one closed door end the dream. More often than not, one closed door results in another amazing door to open. Embrace opportunities as they come, and maximize very ounce of who you are, everything you know and everybody you know, take them along the journey, and the journey will be a success.

Joann Lim:

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Joann Lim:

Jesus Christ
Mahatma Gandhi
Mother Teresa
Pope John Paul
Dr Seus

The question I would ask is, on the days that you may have not felt good enough, what pulled you forward? What helped you to keep going, what inspired you, and what pulled you to the next level?

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Joann Lim: One of the books that had the most profound impact on my life was a journal that was written personally to me. It took place over the course of a year, and this person as opposed to writing a journal recounting things to him, he did it to me – he wrote it to me. There is only one in this entire world and I have it. it was beautiful because this person wrote this intentionally for me, sharing in an experience from a different perspective, and it is something that I will always hold close.

Joann Lim:

Two Years

You know what, I actually don’t know how I’d spend my two years. I was thinking to take each day as it comes. I’d spend a lot of time reflecting, exploring, and just being in the moment. There is a great saying that says, “Man plans and God laughs.” We can plan all we want to the nth degree, but more often than not, it’s not the way it happens. So it’s embracing the here and now and making use of every moment, and giving my best into every moment.

Five Books

Blank journal: For the inspiration, for the empowerment, for anything that came to mind.
SoulPancake: Chew on Life’s Big Questions by Rainn Wilson from The Office: It’s really a fun book, but has all sorts of questions that probe deeper, let us challenge who we are, that help make meaning in our lives.
Dr. Seuss Beginner Book Collection #1 (Your Favorite Seuss (58 Volume Set)): A large book that has 12 of his most famous books. They are fun and inspiring.
Daily Readings from Love Your Life by Victoria Osteen: She is a spark plug from Houston, Texas, who speaks with passion and vigor, and has a zest for life. She is someone who women can learn from.
The journal that was written especially to me. It’s a reminder of how somebody feels for you, how somebody sees things, and what it means to care for somebody, and what it means to create a customized experience for someone.

Movie & Music CD

My one movie would be Something’s Gotta Give with Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton. It’s a fun movie that I could watch over and over again. And for the CD, I would take the Grace. They are an amazing group from South Africa, and when they sing it is like fire works in the sky, it’s magical, it’s an amazing thing when voices come together and produce such beauty and harmony and giftedness. It’s incredible, and I encourage anybody who has a chance to hear them sing to please check them out – they are amazing.

Something’s Gotta Give – Trailer

Cannot view this video, click here. Uploaded by TheMovieSceneUK on Jul 20, 2010

Soweto Gospel Choir – Amazing Grace (Most beautiful version!!)

Cannot view this video, click here. Uploaded by scutter4christ on Mar 4, 2009

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Joann Lim: The potential of it. There is so much to experience and so much joy to be had. The potential is truly outstanding, and I think it’s when we embrace what life has to offer with very little attachment to the outcome, life is amazing. It’s an adventure, and it becomes like a maze where we don’t necessarily know where we’re going to go next, but at the end, we know where we’re going to be.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Joann Lim: Surround myself with amazing people, spend quiet time with my Heavenly Father, reading great books, spending time with mentors, and showing up every day. And not just showing up, but asking myself what I need to do to give my best, and to do it – to really give everything that I have, everything that I am, everything that I know to each and every day are the best ways I know to nurture my soul.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Joann Lim: The group of people I would use it on are the people who feel most alone in this world, the people who have never been told that they matter, those are the people I would use this wish on. To let them know that they do matter, to let them know that they are loved, and no matter how dark it may seem, there is light and to offer them that glimmer of hope to remind them that you matter and there is more to life than what they have experienced.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Joann Lim: I’m happy when the sun is shining. I’m happy when I’m surrounded by people who I love, care about, and am fascinated by. I’m happy when I’m giving the world the very best that I have.

Book links are affiliate links.

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Mentor Yourself With Miranda Vande Kuyt Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 09:30:13 +0000

Invisible Mentor: Miranda Vande Kuyt

Website: http://mirandavandekuyt.wordpress.com

Avil Beckford: In a couple of sentences, tell me a little bit about yourself.

Miranda Vande Kuyt: I am a mother of three kids, married to a youth pastor, and have been working in the career development field for the past 10 years. I am an eager overachiever person, and I consider myself a renaissance personality – I do a little bit of everything and whenever I need to learn something new, I go and learn it. Right now, since 2006, I coordinate a lot of blogs for different companies. Most of them are in the career development field so I write, but I also take people who don’t know how to write, and coach them on how to become better writers. I spend a lot of time doing that and I also facilitate an e-course on self-employment for a company, and I’m a student advisor for a career development company, Life Strategies. I just finished editing a suite of curriculum for another company, and they are all in career development. I’m working in the field but I’m not necessarily a career coach right now, I’m in the middle of branding and figuring out what I want my business to be.

Part Three: Life

Avil Beckford: Describe a major challenge that you have had in life and how you resolved it. What lessons did you learn in the process?

Miranda Vande Kuyt: When I decided to have kids, I had to figure out a way to make an income. My supervisor at the company I was working for gave me a big break because he suggested that I take part of my job, which was running a little youth employment website. I took that part of my job with me and did it by contract from home and I quickly realized that I couldn’t do everything myself so I got other staff members involved. That was my major challenge, how to raise a family and still stay connected to the field that I enjoy working in so much. I look at life as seasons then figure out how I am going to solve a problem. I love to solve problems and since then I have been self-employed meaning and work has always found me. I have never gone out and looked for contract work, work has always found me. This year I have decided that I want to be more intentional about my business so I’m trying to figure out what my business is going to be about, what I’m going to do and what I’m not going to do, who I’m going to do it for and who I’m not going to do it for.

Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

Miranda Vande Kuyt: My biggest failure is that back when we first got married – I finished college and then I got married – we moved and I had to start a career, all within a couple of months. I couldn’t do it and I struggled with depression for a number of years. That consumed me that I was really lost for a number of years and I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I had the mindset that the world was against me. One day, that supervisor that I have mentioned a few times now, that believed so much in me, gave me an opportunity to go to a conference. Someone else was supposed to go but she got pregnant and couldn’t go, so he asked me if I wanted to go and it was presenting at Cannexus about the websites that I had been working on. It was a good idea but technically I wasn’t employed there anymore because I was home as a subcontractor for them.

When I went to the conference, I attended a session on positivity, and I learned some strategies on how to be a more positive person and probably a year or so before, I had woken up and decided that I was tired of feeling sorry for myself. I wanted a different life, so I made some choices on how I went about living my life. So I would say one of my biggest challenges, I wouldn’t say failure, was depression because I had to see that the world was more than just me. I had to see that true joy comes from investing in and helping other people succeed in life using the experiences I’ve had to help other people to find their life purpose and live it out daily.

I don’t necessarily look at things as failures because I’m always trying new things and there are lots of stuff that do not work, but this is the biggest challenge because at the time it didn’t feel like a choice. It didn’t feel like something I had caused, but overcoming it was mind over matter. It got to the point where I had to choose to live, and now I take all those lessons and help other people to also find success.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

Miranda Vande Kuyt: It was following my husband across the country several times. I had to decide to make his career more important than mine. We moved from British Columbia to Ontario, to British Columbia to Ontario, to British Columbia and now we live in Alberta and that led to the depression.

Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

Miranda Vande Kuyt:

When I was 15, I went to a leadership summer camp and that’s where I started to make some choices about what I was going to do with life and what I valued.
Having kids, once I had kids, I didn’t have time to be depressed anymore because they needed me and I didn’t have time to sit down and worry about myself. I had to put myself aside and realize that they needed me more.
Taking the job as an admin assistant, even though it was a low paying position and it wasn’t what I wanted to do, but that’s where I met that supervisor, and his belief in me empowered me to believe in myself.

Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

Miranda Vande Kuyt: This one is exciting. A couple years ago I won a national contest. I had to do a write-up of what my biggest “fit” challenge was in dressing myself. I had to send a full body picture of myself. I did that and forgot about it. A couple months later, I got an email that I had been chosen as a finalist for this contest. They gave each of the 12 finalists, four in each category – four petite, four regular, and four plus sizes, so I was one in four in the regular category – $200 to go to Reitman’s. The contest was between Reitman’s and Canadian Living. I had to go to Reitman’s and use the $200 to purchase three outfits, and then I had to do a write-up for three outfits and take a picture of me in those outfits and send them in.

Each week they posted the picture and the write-up then the public had to vote on who they liked the best out of those four contestants. At the end of the first week, one person was eliminated, and then they put up the second outfit and at the end of the second week another person was eliminated. In the third week there were only two people left. When I found out that I was a finalist I started researching voting campaigns to find out how I was going to win the contest. I’ve always been involved in social media, so I created a very detailed, elaborate strategy on how I was going to win this contest.

The original reason I entered, I had just started to get excited about writing and I was looking for a contest that I could write, and I came across this contest in either an email or Facebook. I wrote and I was very intentional about what I wrote in my write-ups. I wrote to the audience, and thought about how I was going to connect to the most amount of people in my write-ups. Of course my friends are going to vote for me, but I want to get other people to vote for me, so after three weeks, with a very strategic voting campaign, I won this contest.

Eighteen hundred people entered, they chose 12 finalists and I won in my category of regular size. I got a trip to Toronto, over $1,500 in clothes, accommodation at the Royal York in a suite bigger than my house, and a camera. They took us shopping and we did a photo shoot for Canadian Living magazine. I am in the November 2010 issue. I blogged about the experience on http://mirandavandekuyt.wordpress.com, so the article is also there. It was a life highlight and I did it by myself, yes I needed to get people to vote for me, but it was very cool.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Miranda Vande Kuyt:

Take care of yourself because it’s no one else’s job to take care of you. Make sure that you’re doing well.
Know your life purpose and live it out daily.
Say no to things that do not support you, taking care of yourself and living out your life purpose.
Make a plan to do the important things otherwise they won’t get done.
Love people because the “stuff” doesn’t really matter. Having people around you matters.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people (living or dead) that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Miranda Vande Kuyt:

Jesus Christ because that’s a huge part of my life.
Sheryl Sandberg the COO of Facebook.
Billy Graham
Catherine Marshall who is one of my favourite authors and I read a lot of her books when I was in high school. She was married to the Chaplain to the President back in the early 1900s. She writes about her journey and I really connected with it when I was in high school because she had kids, her husband died, she struggled with depression and she got very sick and through it all she kept her faith and still knew what her life purpose was.
Arlene Dickinson

The question I would ask is how do you balance it all? How do you have a life, a business and a family?

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Miranda Vande Kuyt: On a regular day I would say the Bible because I read that one the most out of everything, but when I was thinking about this, I was thinking about career development, and I wrote down Happenstance (Luck is No Accident: Making the Most of Happenstance in Your Life and Career), (Planned Happenstance: Making the Most of Chance Events in Your Life and Your Career) by John Krumboltz because that when I realized that I don’t have to have all the answers of how I’m getting there. He suggests that you don’t even need to know where you’re going, but you need to be moving, and you need to capitalize on opportunities. That’s what I have been doing for the past several years is to follow the opportunities, and this year I’ve decided to figure out what it is that I want from life so I’ll know what opportunities to accept.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on different deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the time? The prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million.

Miranda Vande Kuyt: The first thing I wrote is that since I have young kids I would never consider it.

Two Years

If I could, I would bring a laptop because I would spend that two years writing my story. If I ran out of things to write, I would scrapbook or if there was internet I would take courses. I would spend that time putting into that area of my life.

Five Books

The Bible
Dictionary
Something More by Catherine Marshall
The Love Dare Day by Day: Wedding Edition (The Love Dare) by Stephen Kendrick
Practical Grammar: A Canadian Writer’s Resource
by Maxine Ruvinsky

Music CD & Movie

My favourite movie of all time is Anne of Green Gables (Anne of Green Gables: The Collection) because she had a challenging life and overcame it and kept her spunk. I would want to take a music CD of my dad playing guitar and singing. My dad plays and sings, and he is great. I love him.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Miranda Vande Kuyt: My kids. I love to see my kids grow, learn and become the people that they are meant to become. That’s the most exciting thing and the reason I’m doing it all is so I can spend more time with my kids.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it? How do you nurture your soul?

Miranda Vande Kuyt: I journal. I don’t get to do it as much as I used to, when I was younger. I hang out with my friends and I take my kids to the park.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Miranda Vande Kuyt: I’m helping somebody else succeed.

Anne of Green Gables (Official HD Trailer)

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Happenstance

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Interviews You Might Have Missed

The Invisible Mentor Interviews Mike DeSousa
The Invisible Mentor Interviews Mike DeSousa Part Two
The Invisible Mentor Interviews Chris Kulbaba, Career and Employment Counsellor, Resume Writer, Facilitator, Public Speaker & LinkedIn Entrepreneur
The Invisible Mentor Interviews Chris Kulbaba, Career and Employment Counsellor, Resume Writer, Facilitator, Public Speaker & LinkedIn Entrepreneur Part Two
The Invisible Mentor Interviews Karen Parsons, Human Excellence Coach
The Invisible Mentor Interviews Karen Parsons, Human Excellence Coach Part Two

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Mentor Yourself With Diane Craig, President, Corporate Class Inc., Part II

Avil Beckford — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 09:31:41 +0000

Interviewee Name: Diane Craig, President

Company Name: Corporate Class Inc.

Website: http://www.corporateclassinc.com/

To get the most from The Invisible Mentor Interview with Diane Craig, while you are reading it, answer the following questions:

Are their similarities between Diane Craig and yourself?
In what ways can you use the information?
In what ways would you respond differently from the interviewee?
What are your five takeaways from the interview?
After reading the interview, what is one concrete action you can take?

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Diane Craig: I’m an entrepreneur. I’ve had my business for many years now. I love my work and I love life, I love my family and I enjoy people.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Diane Craig: I live what I preach. Whenever I can involve my family in what I do professionally, in a way that is good, in terms of whether it is travel, opportunity to speak, I make sure that I can integrate both.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Diane Craig: I love to cook and I find it very relaxing. I also read and workout.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Diane Craig:

Not to assume.
Not be as impatient as I’ve been over the years.
Make time to do things for myself, whether it’s a workout, going to the spa, getting a manicure, visit friends. I’m getting pretty good at that.
I’ve learned to support and encourage my son without telling him what to do. I let him learn by his own errors and mistakes. If he is passionate about something and I’m not too crazy about it, I may voice my concerns, but I will support him knowing that when you fall you get your biggest lessons.
Don’t wish for miracles, just expect them.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Diane Craig: I love to get up before dawn even if I know that I don’t have to go into the office early or if I have a day off. I have a special chair and I sit there. I meditate and just let things come to me. I have very strong faith, and I hear the messages in those times, and my best ideas, and solutions have come from those moments.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Diane Craig: For me, success is being able to go to bed at night with a clear conscience. I think that’s a successful day. And on a more practical level, I’m not a big goal setter, except that every year on January 1st, this is a ritual that I’ve had for many years, I write a life script. If everything was perfect in my life, what would it look life, what would I be doing, at all levels – personal, professional, health and family. I go through that and I record it and listen to it for the first month. And I do set some goals along with that. I only look at them the following year, and I look back on the other years and I see how I made most of them happen. And I think it’s just the subconscious for me to put it there, and not dwell on them, but plant the seed and it gives me a focus. I guess that I’ve done that for so many years now that I don’t even think about it.

Of course you have some goals businesswise, deadlines to meet, minimum revenues to generate, but beyond that, I think that when I can plant the seed and look back later then I see where I’ve had some success and making those things happen. It’s making your dreams a reality.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Diane Craig: I was diligent in making sure that I was technically sound in my knowledge. I didn’t diversify into 20 different areas. Sometimes I look at the websites of some of my competitors and they do all sorts of different things and I don’t know how they can be an expert at all those things. I focus on all the areas of image and etiquette and building an executive presence and everything that’s related to that. So I stick with what I know and instead of working on things that I’m not very good at, I keep working on the things that I’m very good at so I can become even better at that then it makes competition a little more difficult. I focus on my strengths instead of my weaknesses.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Diane Craig: Focus on the area that you are strong in and become known as an expert in that area. Otherwise you’re going to be good at something, very good at something else, but will you be excellent, extraordinary, unique in one thing?

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Diane Craig:

I would love to meet Eleanor Roosevelt (Profile of Eleanor Roosevelt). She was a great conversationalist and it’s a skill that so many people lack. I’ve studied it so much and I would love to meet her.
I’ve had the opportunity to speak to Albert Mehrabian, the doctor who did the research in body language, but I would love to meet with him, and find out what drove him to do this study, that so many years later still stands.
I’d love to meet Michelle Obama.
I would have loved to meet Princess Diana.
If I could get some time with Laureen Harper, I would love that. I would ask her if she understands the power she has in the position she has in being Canada’s First Lady, and how does she thinks she contributes to our country?

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Diane Craig: It’s If You Want to Walk on Water, You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat by John Ortberg. I wanted to walk on water in many ways, I wanted something to happen, but unless I got out of the boat that I was in, nothing was going to happen. The title of the book says it all.

Diane Craig:

Two Years

I would exercise a lot and find a way to cook new things, discover on the island what I could cook that’s new and interesting. I would also meditate a lot since I would have the time. I would make up some imaginary friends since I’m alone on the island.

Five Books

The Bible: You can reread it and reread it.

One Movie, One Music CD

For my music CD I quite like Chris Botti (Chris Botti in Boston (CD/DVD)). I really like the old movies, for example, The Sound of Music (The Sound of Music (Three-Disc 45th Anniversary Blu-ray/DVD Combo in Blu-ray Packaging)).

Chris Botti – When I Fall in Love

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The sound of music – Do Re Mi Fa

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Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Diane Craig: I’m very excited about getting up every morning and thinking about what I have to do during the day because I love what I do. I love it when I am able to get a new client – I find that very exciting. Every time I speak to my son he energizes me – I’m so proud of him.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Diane Craig: I meditate and I like to read spiritual books. Another book I really like is Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith by Henri J. M. Nouwen.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Diane Craig: I’m not afraid of dying, but I’m afraid of how I’m going to die. I’ve seen so many good people suffer so much on their death bed and I hope I’ll be spared that, and that it will be peaceful.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Diane Craig: I’m happy when I’m with my family. I’m happy when I know that I was able to help someone, able to make a difference – that really excites me too.

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Mentor Yourself: Interview With Invisible Mentor Gary Vurnum, Author, Part II

Avil Beckford — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 10:30:56 +0000

Interviewee Name: Gary Vurnum, Author

Website: http://www.vurnum.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Gary Vurnum asks a question (Photo credit: Ralph Zuranski)

Gary Vurnum: I’ve been earning a living from the Internet full-time since December 2001, and in that time, I have created 15 products in the self-improvement niche, from general success to leadership to goal-setting to law of attraction to stress relief and so on. I’ve also written 20 books over the last few years, and set-up my own publishing house last July, and I publish other people’s books as well as my own.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Gary Vurnum: My work really is my hobby because I love to read and write about self-improvement, marketing and the internet. I choose how often I work so I don’t need to integrate anything at all. I take time off whenever I choose, whether I’m with my daughters, fiancée and so on. It’s one big melting pot for me because I choose when and how often I work then there isn’t too much conflict between the personal life and the business life.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Gary Vurnum: Because I have my daughters for a couple of days each week, and half of any holidays I focus on them because I don’t have the quantity of time, I focus on quality. I read books on the topics that I write about and I watch very little TV. Apart from that, I spend time fiancée and we go out for meals and date nights and things like that. That’s essentially how I use my free time.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Gary Vurnum:

You have more chances of making people miserable if you always try to make them happy because they need to make themselves happy rather than you doing it for them by bending over backwards. If you try to bend over backwards trying to make others happy, quite often, it’s at the expense of you being happy. And it ends up blowing up in your face.
The best way to deal with a setback is to say, “So what,” and get on with it. Deal with what happens and move on. It’s not always easy but essentially that’s what I try to do.
Being successful at anything may be complicated but not difficult, whether it’s internet marketing, being an author, trading stock, real estate, whatever. The steps involved are not difficult, you don’t need degrees, or need to be a rocket scientist, but there are usually a number of steps involved. If it’s important to you, you’re going to find a way to make it happen.
Always get paid more than once for everything you do, which is a rule I try to stand by whenever I can, and refuse to be paid per hour. That’s why I have books and products that earn me money years after I created them.
You always get what you expect. A lot of us in our lives expect the worst, and guess what happens, the worst. Again it’s not easy, I’m human and you have to catch yourself if you’re focusing on the things you don’t want to happen. It’s so easy to focus on what you don’t want rather than what you do want.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Gary Vurnum: If you’re doing the same thing day-after-day then new thoughts and avenues won’t appear and I never ever have a problem with ideas. In fact, I have too many of them. I have many product ideas and things I can do and that’s because when I approach a task, I keep on with it and look for new ways to improve it. There isn’t a set process, I just basically get on with it and solutions often appear.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Gary Vurnum: It may sound a bit vain but it’s one of mine, “Never ignore the obvious, that’s what it’s there for.” Too many people talk themselves out of starting because they over-complicate things. Start with the most simple and obvious thing first and then you find quite often that things start to fall into place once you get moving. Don’t hold back from doing the most obvious thing because it’s obvious.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Gary Vurnum: The formula and definition for such is really the same thing in my book. Success is doing what you love as often as you want to, whether that’s in business or life. In my mind, how happy you are should be the currency for success not a monetary figure. There are enough miserable millionaires and billionaires around to prove this. Unfortunately, the gurus will tell you that you should be a millionaire and aspire to this, but essentially everyone wants to aspire to be happier in their lives. My definition and formula for success is to do more of what you love in both business and life.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Gary Vurnum: I push beyond my comfort zone because if you’re not moving forward you’re moving backward while other people are moving forward and leapfrogging. We’re always in motion so you may think that you’re standing still by not doing anything, but you are going backward because you are nor learning and applying. The reason why I’ve become a speaker, author, publisher, marketer and so on is because if I didn’t believe I could do something, I looked and saw that other people could do it and thought I should give it a go, and sometimes it’s scary, but unless you can push your comfort zone you won’t find out what you’re capable of doing. Once you start doing a few things that you didn’t think you were capable of then you find that there are very few things that you can’t do.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Gary Vurnum: Work out what you’re already world-class at, and everyone that I’ve ever met whether they were failure, rich or poor is world-class at something – painting, motivating people, fantastic parent, whatever. Everyone has something that they find either easy to do or comes naturally to them, and enjoy it as well. Take that and see how you can build something around it and do it as often as you can. You do what you love and the money will follow except you have to look at it in a business sense.

But basically someone, somewhere will want what you can do, or wish they could do what you find easy to do. So if it’s organizing, you have very successful personal assistants out there, if it’s painting, people will pay you for your paintings. If it’s being a great parent, there are many avenues to monetize your world-class talent. Everyone has been given a world-class talent at something. That’s the best place to start from rather than follow a process to go and do this then that. Start from inside out.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Gary Vurnum:

Napoleon Hill: He is the man who wrote Think and Grow Rich and also Law of Success, which is my favourite book of his. I would ask him, “Can I have your original notes to your interviews of over 600 millionaires of the day?” He converted those interviews into Think and Grow Rich but it was a two-day seminar that was the Law of Success. I would want to see those original interview notes to get insights.
Warren Buffett: I would like to get information from him on investing.
Dalai Lama: Aside from meditation, I’d like to find out what he would recommend to focus on happiness as often as I can.
Richard Branson: I would ask him how best to manage your to-do list because I’ve seen his to-do list at the back of one of his books, and he has a big to-do list.
Leonardo da Vinci: I’d like to watch him but not necessarily ask him any questions. He was a polymath and involved in many different things.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Gary Vurnum: There have been many that had a profound impact on me. One at the time when I was going through all my problems to quit my job and so on, which tuned me in to the more spiritual side of success, was a book written back in 1912 I think, The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles. You can get it for free online. It’s a short book and might be a bit too spiritual for a lot of people. It made me focus and took me away from the reality that I was facing and made me appreciate possibilities rather than restrictions.

Gary Vurnum: This is the hardest question because there are too many books and I have eclectic music taste and I go to the cinema quite a bit.

Two Years

I would do a lot of writing, thinking, teach myself meditation and try to find a way to invent a happiness machine so I could work out whether I’m being happy or not. The hardest thing when you’re on your own is being happy irrespective of technology and the tools you have in your life. So I would work on a happiness machine so that I would come off solitary confinement happier than when I went on.

Five Books

Law of Success, Napoleon Hill
The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace D. Wattles
The Richest Man in Babylon, George S. Clason
Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires, Esther and Jerry Hicks
Reality Transurfing 1: The Space of Variations, Vadim Zeeland – It’s just becoming known in the west but has sold millions of copies in Russia. It adds a completely different spin on law of attraction and spirituality in a completely different language and approach. Very few people have heard of it but it’s fascinating

Movie and Music CD

One music CD would have to be a compilation of 80s music because I was a child of the 80s. I was born in 1969 and it was my teenage years in the late 80s (Journey – Greatest Hits DVD 1978-1997 – Music Videos & Live Performances). In terms of films that is very difficult because I don’t tend to watch movies more than once, and I have a number of favourites. One of them for pure comedy value is Step Brothers (Unrated) with Will Ferrell. That’s the only film that made me laugh before the credits started and it’s a film that you either love or hate.

The 80s – Greatest hits

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Step Brother, Trailer (iHD), Will Ferrell and John Reilly

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Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Gary Vurnum: Knowing that I am the only one who can choose what I do with my life. If there are any limitations in my life, they are due to me, which is a scary thing because you start to question yourself. Essentially I’m the one in control, that’s what excites me, if I choose to do something, there is no reason why I shouldn’t be able to do it.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Gary Vurnum: My business life is about that side of things, the best way for me to nurture anything is to teach other people, share it with other people because you learn so much more by trying to teach someone or put it down in words. The way I develop and cope with things – problems or challenge,s is to get it down on paper, and take a step backwards and see how I would suggest other people do it. So I nurture my soul by getting things out of my head and see what other people think.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Gary Vurnum: I would wish that everybody in the world would aspire to be as happy as possible instead of aspiring to be a millionaire.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Gary Vurnum: The people I love are happy.

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The Chief Mentoring Officer Interviews Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay, Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 10:30:57 +0000

Interviewee Name: Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay

Company Name: eBay EU

Website: http://www.ebay.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Image via CrunchBase

Annemie Ress: I’m South African by birth and grew up there. I studied law, worked in Switzerland for a short while and have been living in the United Kingdom for the past 13 years. For the past 13 years I have worked for Pepsi (for a short while because I worked for them in South Africa). I also worked on the trading floor for the International Petroleum Exchange and since then I have been working at eBay. I have had multiple careers at eBay.

I’m totally passionate about diversity, positive psychology, human rights and I just did the New York Marathon with my husband.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Annemie Ress: I’m not going to lie to you, it’s very hard working for an American corporation, working in an environment that we work in now, I’m not great at integrating my personal and professional life. Although I say all these things, and the reason why now is so important to me as a concept, is I feel I’m always rushing. I started doing yoga with my husband a year ago, and hatha yoga has been fundamental in terms of transforming and just bringing a sense of calmness into my life. And again surrounding myself with diverse people. I make sure that I also read a very diverse range of material, and I constantly listen to diverse conversations, articles and podcasts so in that way I do fun things, but sometimes they are professional things that contribute to my work-life but I do them while I’m walking. Or I learn while I’m out exercising. I’m not great at it but that’s how I try to connect and keep both parts going.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Annemie Ress:

Don’t be afraid of the unknown.
Surround yourself with people who are very different from you – people who you do not think you have anything in common with.
Live in the now or try to live in the now.
Have compassion.
Realize that not everything is black and white. Grey is an interesting colour.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Annemie Ress: I don’t have a specific process. Most often when I’m not thinking is when ideas come to me. I will consciously try not to think about a challenge or a solution that I’m facing but switch to doing something creative or relaxing, and that’s when the best ideas come.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Annemie Ress: I don’t have one, there are so many and I think I’ll do an injustice by just choosing one. I’d say the one for today is “Honesty without compassion is cruelty.” I think the quote relates the concept that life is complex, and it’s not a set of rules by which we play – if you do A, B will happen. It really helps us to understand the full complexity of life.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Annemie Ress: I think success is very personal and I don’t think there is a formula for success. I can be very self-help-like and say this is the formula for success so read the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I think for me success is all about being able to go to bed at night and go to sleep feeling that you’ve had a fulfilled day and contributed in a small way to making the world a better place and I know that sounds idealistic, but I really mean that. For me, failure would be going to bed at night and not being able to say, “I showed compassion to someone today,” or I did something that was hard to do, but I did it in a way that helped someone to do something that was really tough.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Annemie Ress: Relationships and sponsorships and being authentic. It’s about building meaningful relationships with key opinion makers and stakeholders at all levels in your organizations. It could be with the person who brings you your coffee in the mornings, if you work in that type of environment. Or it could be with the security guard who is at the entrance when you come in to work, or the president of the corporation. But it’s not just about the relationships it’s also about celebrating the uniqueness in the other person and really connecting with them authentically. In my environment that’s the one thing I’ve tried consistently to do because it builds trust, integrity and respect and that stands you well in both good and bad times.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Annemie Ress: Be brave and don’t think that you have to have a planned journey in life. Go a little bit with the flow and be open to what may come your way, and unexpected things will happen.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Annemie Ress:

I’d like to meet some evil people because I want to really understand their minds, I think that would be interesting because I cannot understand how one can commit some really commit some horrendous things, whether it’s Stalin, Hitler. I would try to understand how their minds worked. One could say they’re delusional but who knows. I just don’t understand that level of evil. Out of the two I think I would choose Stalin because so much has been written about Hitler.
I’d like to meet Mother Teresa because I know she’s had moments of doubts – I read that in a book recently – in her life and faith and I find that really interesting.
I met Nelson Mandela briefly, but I would love to understand the compassion he could show after all those years in jail and the wisdom that he had.
I would love to meet someone who lived in the Middle Ages – people who were suspicious of everything, and believed in witchcraft. I would find it fascinating interacting with them.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Annemie Ress: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and the Power of Now
by Eckhart Tolle. Both those books impacted me. I have read all of Paulo Coelho’s books and I loved all of them. I love how he combines mystery, religion, magic and life experiences, challenge and it started with The Alchemist, and that unlocked my interest in him as an author. I find it a powerful story that never dates. And for the Power of Now, back to my earlier comment that we have nothing now but the second, what’s passed is gone, and we can’t ever be sure of what happens next, so value every minute that you have.

Annemie Ress: I have a Lisa Se Klavier CD of Afrikaans – which is my mother tongue – of folk music that is lovely poetry that I’d like to take with me. It’s about a girl who sits and plays the piano while the sun goes down in Cape Town. It’s absolutely beautiful. I love The Killing Fields as a movie and the books I would take:

The Alchemist
Power of Now
Blank book that I could write in. I love writing poetry and I would love to write a story. I’m trying to so about all my memories from childhood. Everyone says that, but if I had two years on an island I’ll take the blank book and do it.
I would like to take a Chinese language lesson book that teaches me how to speak Chinese.
A children’s story, something that makes me really happy, whether it’s Dr Seuss or something like that. That would keep me smiling in a fun and uncomplicated way.

During the two years, I would write the book and I would meditate, sit quietly and look at the waves, clouds, just calm down and breathe a lot, and practice everything I’m being taught in yoga. I would slow down and become in touch with my body, mind, and nature and really connect with who I am.

“Lisa se Klavier” – DOZI – Afrikaans Lyrics with English Translation

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The Killing Fields Trailer

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Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Annemie Ress: The unknown, both the scariness and the excitement of it – we don’t know what will happen. I don’t know what’s ahead for me and I really don’t want to know.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Annemie Ress: I have to read more than one book at a time. Reading is absolutely critical. I love to listen to philosophical arguments, debates and podcasts and stay in touch with news in Africa, and without that I don’t feel alive.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Annemie Ress: I’d wish that my mother and my husband who are the most important people in my life would always be happy.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Annemie Ress: I have the freedom to do whatever I want to do.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

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YouTube Video Credit: http://www.youtube.com/user/Afrikitty, http://www.youtube.com/user/francesco99?feature=watch

The Chief Mentoring Officer Interviews Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay (theinvisiblementor.com)

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Life and Leadership Coach Irene Becker Part II

Avil Beckford — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 10:30:52 +0000

Interviewee Name: Irene Becker

Company Name: Just Coach It

Website: http://justcoachit.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Irene Becker: I’m a coach, a speaker and writer who helps people to work, communicate and lead happier and smarter lives in high stress, high change environments.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Irene Becker: I make sure that I take downtime for a couple of minutes, three times a day to do exercises that build my 3Qs. I do a little exercise called the Pause that’s a two-minute stress buster and mindfulness meditation. When I have downtime, I’m either learning, praying and meditating, or I’m sharing and doing something of service that’s relationship-based.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Irene Becker:

Always be solution-focused. We know that our brain is automatically set to negatives, so being solution-focused is retraining our brain. But today more than ever before, we all need to move from being problem-focused to solution focused.
Don’t forsake your courage, integrity, or humanity.
Give more, share more, care more and contribute more because they are all roads to fulfillment and happiness.
Love more.
Live more and laugh more. Appreciate and be grateful for your life-inject humour wherever and whenever you can.

We look around and there are parts of the world where people go to bed hungry and yet they seem to be happier than people in North America and Western Europe. Life is a gift.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Irene Becker: My favourite quotation is from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin who was a palaeontologist and Jesuit priest. He said, “Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.”

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Irene Becker: I don’t think that my formula for success would resonate with everyone, so I’m going to give you two answers. My definition for success is service above self. I had a client who was the Bill Gates of the country (Canada), and I’m really curious, here is a man who has everything, had built everything from scratch. And I asked him, “How do you define success?” and he told me in two seconds, “happiness,” so I think that’s the ultimate definition because when I define success it’s service, it makes me happy to feel that I have been of service. So success is happiness. I think the formula for success is timeless, it’s creating value for others. Whether you’re talking about business or personal success, it’s only when we’re creating value for others, that’s what success is. It’s that feeling of contributing that makes us happiest, and a sustainable business is about creating value for others. A sustainable relationship also depends on creating value for others.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Irene Becker: Learning, continuously learning, being passionate about my craft, working hard, contributing and understanding the difference between wants and needs. We used to be in a marketplace where Marketing 101 used to say, find the need, that’s no longer true. We’re so deluged with everything. When you have a product or service you have to understand the want.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Irene Becker: Find your passion then search for the want. Work hard, work honourably and work consistently.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Irene Becker: This was such a hard question because there are so many people I want to meet. So I decided that I would pick people from the past.

Abraham from the Bible
Rumi the Sufi mystic and poet
Dr. Martin Luther King
Albert Einstein
George Washington Carver, the peanut farmer: He was a man of such values and principles, a true leader. He was offered a lot of money but would have to give up his values and he never would. Corporations wanted to buy him out and I think it was the most incredible story.
Anne Frank

I would say, “Thank you!” because they all made the world a better place, and they all truly came from a place of love and service – extraordinary people.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Irene Becker: I actually have a few books. I couldn’t come up with just one. The Torah, Bible, the Psalms, The Zohar, The Prophet, Les Miserables and the Wizard of Oz.

I would take books: The Psalms, The Bible, The Zohar, Writings/Essays by my children, Poetry by Rumi.

I would take my favourite movie, Bruce Almighty as it is both very funny and very profound, spiritual.

Irene Becker: For the two years I would be praying, meditating, reflecting, and writing thoughts of value that I’d like to share with others – Thoughts about how life is a gift and how to use it. I would try to develop a routine that taps into my head, heart, soul and body. Never giving up faith that my two years was for a purpose that I cannot see, but that will be of service to others.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Irene Becker: Love! The ability to cleave to the spark of Godliness, the spark of eternal love that is the source of all.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Irene Becker: Love and prayer!

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Irene Becker: I would wish for what Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said in my favourite quote that I would see a day when…. “We shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.”

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Irene Becker: I am living and leading in service to the greatest good, because it is only in service that we realize our true purpose.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Lally Rementilla, VP Finance and Administration, Nulogy Corporation Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 09:30:07 +0000

Interviewee Name: Lally Rementilla, VP Finance and Administration

Company Name: Nulogy Corporation

Website: http://www.nulogy.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Lally Rementilla: I’m a senior finance professional who has had a longstanding career in the technology and media industries. By day, and most recently, I’m about all things tech and digital, and by night I’m a mother with two young kids who is trying to have lots of fun with her kids along the way.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Lally Rementilla: Every so often, I would say every five years, I formulate a vision of myself and encapsulate it into a couple of words or phrase and make that the criteria by which I conduct myself. I’ll give you an example – back in the year 2000 I went through this exercise of identifying what that vision was going to be, and I called that vision Hip Accountant. Dare I say it was like a brand, though not necessarily The Brand, but it’s really that catchphrase of what I wanted to use as a criteria by which I was going to be conducting myself, and the criteria by which I made decisions whether they be for career, social or personal in nature, so I had Hip Accountant.

A couple of things contributed to creating that vision, at this point I had pursued and completed my CMA (Certified Management Accountant) designation so that’s the accountant piece. It was also around this time that I made the move from Lucent to Lavalife, and Lavalife was such a hip company with a great brand that encapsulated a lot of the values and personality that was in that Hip Accountant vision that I had. Personally I moved closer to the downtown area because I just wanted a lifestyle that fits with the vision that I had. And I also took on a lot of board memberships across a variety of different not-for-profits, but again to fulfill that vision I actually joined an arts board at that time, and getting the designation, moving to a company that was hip and happening, physically relocating myself and being involved in the community that was more related to the vision that I had, and was a way for me to integrate my personal life with all other aspects of my life. And to this day, I go about having that vision and basing the decisions of those criteria.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Lally Rementilla: Being a very busy working mother, I would say downtime is what I define as time for myself. There are three things that I do. Obviously, one of them is practicing my yoga. Another one is I read, so on a day-to-day basis I read light business biographies. When I need something that’s more escapist in nature I read a lot of chick-lit, and sometimes I cannot peel myself away from it because it is such a way for me to relax and unwind. The third thing I do is travel. Friends I’ve known since nursery school we have tried to make it a point to get together and do a Girl’s Weekend or Girl’s Week at least once a year.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Lally Rementilla:

Keep things simple. It’s the KISS mentality and something that I have learned that really works. I don’t think we achieve anything by making our lives complicated. I think it’s all a matter of keeping things simple and streamlined. I guess it’s the minimalist in me talking.
Don’t be too greedy. I’ve seen a lot of really bad decisions being made because of greed. Having lived in both a Third World country and a First World country has given me a real appreciation of the things that are really important in life and I shake my head every time I see decisions being made because of greed.
In taking risks, 99 percent of the time you have nothing to lose in doing something that’s risky in nature. It’s relative, and that’s the beauty in having lived in both a Third and First World country is that you see the perspective of what’s the worst thing that can happen in life. People are going around thinking that they have so much to lose and there is not a lot in life that we can lose except obviously life itself.
Network, Network, Network! The power of human relationships I found is something that’s fundamental to humanity itself. In whatever we do, we should always strive to build a network of people around us, again whether it be in our professional life or your motherhood or your personal life or your social life. I think it’s always of great benefit and great strength to us to have a network around us.
Location, Location, Location! Obviously it works in real estate, but I also think it works well in being able to identify opportunities. I’m a believer that things happen for a reason, and a lot of it is being in the right place at the right time.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Lally Rementilla: I tend to take a more creative perspective in idea generation and therefore when asked to come up with an idea, I always try to identify the most unique and out-of-the-box way of doing things. And I don’t limit myself, it’s a practice of doing self-brainstorming and I let my ideas and my imagination and my brain go without filtering and I let it come out because I know that eventually I’ll see the relationships and be able to connect the dots to generate something that’s great and will be relevant to the problem or issue that I’m needing to face.

Most often than not, I take my time on things, not to say that I don’t rush to make quick decisions. Ideas tend to be more organic in nature and sometimes ideas can just happen and therefore I always keep my mind thinking and open to generating ideas as I go.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Lally Rementilla: When I was in high school, I remember the second year I had a religion teacher because I went to a Catholic school. My religion teacher had always inspired us in different ways, taught us to look at the world in different and innovative ways and sometimes quirky ways. But when she gave us this quotation and the quotation by the way is “Collect then select,” she meant for it to inspire a generation of young women who were socially programmed to follow a particular path in life. But what she really inspired us to do was to collect, meaning to take the energy and the time and the opportunity to have as much opportunities as possible to be involved in something and to take the time to immerse ourselves in different ways and different walks of life, different perspectives of doing things, and then make a decision at the end that we’re going to be committed to.

The reason why she taught us this and the reason why this is something that’s resonating with me and I’m sure with some of my other classmates at that time was that she talked to us about this quotation in the context of dating where she said, “You’re young, you’re only in the second year of high school, try to meet as many boys and men as you can in your life then make a selection when you find “the one” and stick with that decision and then commit yourself to that person.”

I found that that perspective goes beyond dating and men. I think it’s something that can be applied in life in general.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Lally Rementilla: For me success is the ability for you to look yourself in the eye and say to yourself that you’ve maximized every potential talent or asset that you have within you to make a difference in the life of people and it doesn’t necessarily have to be all the people in the whole country. But at least you’ve made a difference in at least one other person’s life. This is a definition that transcends the business world, so it can be applied in a personal or social setting.

As far as the formula to achieve success is concerned, the first is the relentless pursuit of excellence and not settling for what you have, and trying to use your talents for the greater good. There is a lot of hard work associated with this, especially people who are overcome with a lot of challenges have to work extra hard to address those. Integrity I think is going to be very key, it’s staying true to yourself because when you are there maximizing your potential, your assets, your talents, it’s essentially working with one main ingredient and that’s your integrity and you’re going to have to be happy in a very deep way with all the decisions that you make in order to achieve the success.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Lally Rementilla: The step I tend to take is to constantly be learning and to do that both formally whether it’s achieving a designation or informally. When I graduated from university I had a BA, but as I worked I took my MBA part-time. I did a CMA designation and I pursued a lot of other training opportunities that my organizations had supported me with. And there is also informal training whether it be immersing myself or taking on a very difficult assignment which I had no qualifications to do and that’s one way for me to learn.

The second step is to have a real strong support system both in business and in my personal life.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Lally Rementilla: I alluded to that earlier, which is when you start out, take time to identify your strengths. If you take my advise to play with your strengths, and collect and select which is my favourite quotation, if you put them all together, I think that’s the perfect recipe for those starting out, which is you collect opportunities, you collect different experiences, and then identify your strengths, select them then run with them.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Lally Rementilla:

Warren Buffet: I believe he is one of the world’s greatest investors and one of the most down-to-earth persons that I know. I would ask him if he could take the time out to help me pick some stocks for my kid’s portfolios so they are pretty much set to go.
Isadore Sharp the founder of Four Seasons: I would like to let him know that I really appreciate his vision in putting the level of customer service as something that’s key to building a successful business.
Vincent van Gogh: I had a chance to visit the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam last March and I think it was a big loss to the art world for someone like him who was so driven and talented to have such a short and limited time as an artist. I would tell him that I greatly admire what he achieved in the little time that he had.
Arianna Huffington: I would tell her she is one of the most fearless people that I know.
Sheryl Sandberg: I would invite her and say, “You go girl, you define what it is like to be a female in technology.”

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Lally Rementilla: A lot of the business biographies that I read have had an impact on me, but if there is one that has made a practical impact in my life, it would be Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi, which is a book about networking. I also think it’s a book about humanity, relationships, having personal values and living and integrating your life. What I liked about the book, is first of all it was practical in nature, but it was also a great success story, and it taught me to be more fearless. It taught me to reach out to people more in my career. I borrowed it from the library and I loved it so much that I bought it and bought a second copy just in case I need to lend it to someone for their own inspiration.

Lally Rementilla: I would spend the two years trying to get off the island.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Lally Rementilla: I think of life as an opportunity for us to make changes, and the ability to change things within the sphere of influence that you have and be able to change that sphere of influence as well as you grow.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Lally Rementilla: I have a very deep Catholic background so I pray a lot. I also try as much as possible to talk to my kids because talking to kids and seeing the potential in them, and seeing the way they view the world I think is something that can ground people and make them feel really good about themselves, and it really nurtures your soul.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Lally Rementilla: I have been working with so many spreadsheets in my life that I would wish for a perfect vision to last me for the rest of my life.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Lally Rementilla: I make someone laugh!

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews David Gray, Leadership Coach & Career Consultant Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 09:30:58 +0000

Interviewee Name: David Gray

Company Name: DSG Associates

Website: http://www.dsgassociates.ca

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

David Gray: The concept of integration is an interesting one. In my opinion, there can be no distinction between who you are as a business leader or as an individual on a personal basis. In other words, your ‘Self’ has to be an integrated whole. Otherwise, by definition it would be impossible to lead with integrity and conviction. However, one’s personal life is one’s own. In an era of celebrity worship this concept of the private Self can be a difficult one for some people to grasp. My solution is to advise people that I am available as a Coach during a quite broad number of hours. Beyond that, my time is my own.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

David Gray: I spend my down time reading, walking my dog, Eddie, and doing mundane household chores. I find all of these activities quite relaxing and conducive to engaging in a meditation of sorts.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

David Gray:

Be humble
Listen actively and intently.
Practise empathetic understanding.
Reflect intently.
Act decisively.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

David Gray: I try to cast a wide net in the initial research and planning phases and then take everything I have learned and turn it on its head. This combination of broad search and contrarian analysis tends to enable new and innovative thoughts to emerge.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

David Gray: “Seek first to understand and only then to be understood” from Covey’s “7 Habits.” I find that the world can be understood with any degree of accuracy only if one first casts aside one’s own inevitable prejudicial perspectives.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

David Gray: Success for me is defined in terms of relationships. One is successful if one tries to give back to others more wisdom, more empathy and more joy than one takes for oneself. We do not define our own reputation, our personal brand. Other people do this for us. And so, if our self-awareness and our reputation are to have any real congruency, then success can only be defined on a social rather than an individual basis. Our success is inextricably entwined in what we give to others and what we share of ourselves with others, rather than what we take for ourselves and what we hold on to of ourselves solely for our own enjoyment.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

David Gray: I worked, and continue to work half days. Sometimes it’s the first half of the day, sometimes the second. Sometimes I break the day into quarters. But I always try to work at least 12 hours a day. Except on Sundays. Then I generally only work six hours or so. In other words, I worked hard and continue to do so. However, one can only really work hard on a sustainable basis if one truly enjoys the work. So the first key is to identify your life’s work, your true mission or ‘vocation’ as it used to be called. After all, each of us is only here for a very brief period of time.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

David Gray: Figure out what you want to do in the way of a career. Meantime, while life throws other opportunities your way – which probably on the surface appear to have very little to do with that desired career – work like the devil himself to succeed at whatever work you are doing at any given time. There is no such thing as bad honest work. Nor is there any such thing as undignified honest work. So work hard and prosper.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

David Gray:

Sir Winston Churchill: Thank you, thank you, thank you Sir, for staying the course throughout the wilderness years when lesser men succumbed to grovelling group think.
Robert E. Lee: What were you thinking when you decided in favour of the Southern cause? Far too many men died and far too much unnecessary suffering was caused by this fatally flawed decision which prolonged the failed Southern War of Secession.
Prince Charles Stuart: Stay in France. The Highland Scots have sufficient problems without your intrusion into their already difficult lives.
Julius Caesar: Beware the Ides of March!
Socrates: Just drink the damn hemlock old man! You have poisoned enough young minds with your hypocritical musings – and will continue to confuse a sufficient number of older ones over the course of human time.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

David Gray: Joseph Campbell’s, The Hero with a Thousand Faces. This book brought me face-to-face with human mortality and our shared human journey, thus making clear the urgent need to become oneself, identify and follow one’s own ‘bliss’ and make a contribution to the human family, regardless of how humble or great that contribution might be.

David Gray: The movie would be, The Natural. I would seldom watch the film as I have already seen it at least three times. But it would act as a constant reminder to focus on whatever is both relevant based on my own gifts and yet ‘doable’ based on circumstances at any given time. The five books would include The Cat in the Hat by Dr Seuss so as to retain my sense of humour; Cervantes, Don Quixote (Penguin Classics) to ensure that I remember the absurdity of civilization; Foucault’s History of Madness so as to understand the process as I would surely go slowly quite mad; Kodokan Judo: The Essential Guide to Judo by Its Founder Jigoro Kano to give me a structure that might enable me to retain some degree of physical fitness, as well as the anthology, The Poetry of Robert Frost: The Collected Poems, Complete and Unabridged so as to nurture my soul even as my brain inevitably went a bit sideways.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

David Gray: The possibilities for self development and testing one’s own capabilities and limits.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

David Gray: Quiet reflection, exercise, and good wholesome food.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

David Gray: Enlightenment.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

David Gray: I am happy when…I am doing what I do best…practising Leadership Coaching.

David Gray: I am unusually direct in speech, as I consider trust to be a condition most quickly built upon a foundation of honest communication. At the same time, I take pains to be empathetic and non-threatening in my overall approach.

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The Invisible Mentor Interviews Tracy Matthewman, Internet Marketer & Social Media Trainer, Part Two

Avil Beckford — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 09:30:04 +0000

Interviewee Name: Tracy Matthewman

Company Name: Tracy Matthewman, Network Marketing Sweetie

Website: http://www.TracyMatthewman.com, http://networkmarketingsweetie.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Tracy Matthewman: I come from a corporate IT background, so I worked in IT for 15 years. After I had my daughter I had an opportunity to stay home and work for myself so I jumped at the chance. I started off doing web and graphic design and within a year or so I quickly moved into the internet marketing realm. Marketing has always been a love of mine, and the fact that it was mixed with internet and technology was right up my alley, so that’s what I’ve been doing ever since.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Tracy Matthewman: I brand myself so my website is TracyMatthewman.com which is my name. You go on that site and you basically see a picture of me at the top and in the content I create, every thing that I do, I am basically just myself. I make videos and when I write I don’t worry about whether it’s perfectly grammatically done. Obviously I try to make it sound proper so people can understand it, and I pay attention to spelling errors, but when I write or go on video I talk as if I am talking to someone one-on-one.

As an example, I did a video on a tip that keeps my blogging regular, and my daughter was in my office with me when I was making the video. She was very quiet, over the other side sitting in a chair. Toward the end of the video she came and sat in my lap and I could have stopped the video and started again, but it’s really about me and part of me is that I have a daughter and I work from home, so I allowed that part of the video to continue. I continued to speak, I gave her a hug and she was in the video. It was bringing my personal life into my business to some degree. People know I’m a real person and they get to know and relate to me better.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Tracy Matthewman: My down time is on the weekends, Thursday and Friday nights. Weekends in the summer, most of the time we spend at our cottage, so I’m in the woods by the lake. I’m living in this little house that doesn’t have all the luxuries of a traditional house, so I am living more in nature, so that’s one thing I do in my down time. I read a lot of business books, which doesn’t seem like downtime but for me it is because I love learning, so if I’m learning something, I’m really happy.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Tracy Matthewman:

To be present. This is a hard one because we are always busy. My brain is always on overdrive, so when I’m talking to somebody, when I’m doing something, I’m trying to train myself to be in the present moment. So right now I’m in this interview, I’m focusing on my words, and I’m focusing on your words. I’m being present in this interview trying to give everything I can. When I’m talking to friends, I really listen to them. I pay attention and try to give as much good feedback or energy back into that conversation as possible.
Having balance is one I mentioned before, spending equal amounts of time in all areas.
Setting goals that aren’t too big. I have struggled with this one. I set a goal that’s huge because Donald Trumps says to think big. Thinking big is great but when you set a goal that’s so big and you don’t accomplish it, and you do it again and again you get really discouraged. So I’ve started to set smaller goals that are achievable but still a reach for me, but not so big that when I don’t get it I become disappointed because after a few times you start to think of yourself as a complete failure. So it’s important to set smaller goals whether they are weekly monthly or even yearly. If you are only making $50,000 and you want to make a million dollars by the end of the year, that’s probably going to be a stretch. Set realistic goals with a certain amount of reach that will make you stretch a little bit.
Choosing to be happy which I mentioned already. When you’re feeling miserable, one of the tips I heard from someone is to look up to the sky, or if you are not near to a window, look to the ceiling of your room and smile as big as you can. A big, huge smile on your face and just stare at the ceiling for five or 10 seconds and that will help you to instantly feel better. Choose to be happy instead of waiting to be happy is important.
Saying no to things that are just going to distract you. Pick one or two things to focus on, and this is in terms of business, anything else that comes up you have to say no to, so you focus on the one or two goals and get them to where you want them to be. Learning to say no is a huge life lesson for people to learn.

Avil Beckford: What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Tracy Matthewman: One thing I do is communicate with my audience quite a bit, and I also ask them questions. I can do surveys or I can just look at their feedback. I always encourage comments on my blog, and so with that I get ideas. I also look at trends that are happening in the market place, and I listen to what other people are saying, and what other people are doing, and I look for trends in those types of activities.

Avil Beckford: What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Tracy Matthewman: “Be the change you want to see in the world” by Gandhi. This is ultimately my favourite quote because there are so many things in the world that I wish I could change, and the first step to changing them is by changing my own actions.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Tracy Matthewman: Success to me is the three areas that I previously said. In the wealth area, you have to be happy with the amount of wealth you have in your life. It’s not the first thing or the priority. In this country that we live in, this area of the world, if you don’t have a lot of money you may struggle, and a lot of money is relative. But if you do not have a lot of money, you’re unable to help other people as well. One thing I truly believe in is that if you have the capacity to make more money to help more people, I feel it’s the obligation of the individuals who have the capacity to do that – to put out into the world what they can, to get back so they can help people who may not have the opportunities that you or I or other people listening may have.

We have a lot of capabilities and just sitting back and watching those talents go to waste, you’re not helping anybody, and you’re not helping yourself, or the planet. Health is also a big thing because if you have all the wealth in the world and your health is terrible, what kind of life is that? But if you have your health and no money, that’s not much fun either. The last one is happiness and that’s where other aspects come in like balance, less stress, being emotionally and mentally stable, being spiritual and giving back, all those other things that are more for the soul. I think those are the three main things we should focus on in balancing our lives and when we do that our lives will be filled with abundance.

Avil Beckford: What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Tracy Matthewman: Ongoing learning and doing. I’m a doer and usually when I go to any training program, or buy a new training program, I’m drooling at the mouth to start learning it and then when I’m done, and usually before I am done, when I’m going through chapters and modules I usually implement things right away. The step is to first learn how to do something and then implement it right away. If and when you fail, learn from your failures and implement again. That’s the only way you’re going to get better.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Tracy Matthewman: Find something you love doing and figure out a way to make an income from it. And incorporating that with giving back to the world, we should be helping people or helping the planet. If I look at my own story, I love marketing and I love technology, and I’m a logical thinker. I come from a programming background, to take that element of my natural talent, combine it with marketing which is something that I really love, and combine that into a business that helps people. It doesn’t matter what your love is, somebody is out there being successful doing it, so it’s just a matter of figuring out what that is and how to do it.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Tracy Matthewman:

Albert Einstein because he was one of those people who was looked at by society as a little bit crazy, yet he turned out to be brilliant and changed the course of humanity.
There are some other people who again when they first came out with ideas they were often looked at as out of the norm of society and those are the types of people who create revolutions and transformations on the planet. I would say something to those types of people and it would be, “Thank you for being you! Thank you for being unique because your uniqueness changed the world.”

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Tracy Matthewman: There has been a lot just looking at my library right now. One book which had an impact on me is UnMarketing: Stop Marketing, Start Engaging by Scott Stratten. That was an excellent book and I realize that today’s marketing arena is so much more personal. It’s not the advertising it’s more based around a relationship experience or a personal touch. That book brought that home for me.

Another book I read a long time ago is The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari: A Fable About Fulfilling Your Dreams & Reaching Your Destiny. That book started me on the personal development road and it made me think differently because before that time in my life I was brought up as an average thinking person who didn’t have any sort of personal thoughts going on in her head. I led a fairly normal life. My parents weren’t necessarily all that encouraging of me to do whatever I wanted to do in life. It’s was “why don’t you become a secretary?” There was nothing really inspiring in my life. That book completely changed the way I think and the way my life was responding to my thoughts.

Note from Avil: I have changed this question a lot, so Tracy’s response is to one of the many iterations of the question.

Tracy Matthewman: I would make a little hut, have camp fires every night, eat coconuts and bananas, make friends with the monkeys, braid my hair, soak up the sun, walk barefoot on the sand, make or build something that took a long time because if I’m going to be there for two years I need something to keep me going for a while so I don’t get bored – something intricate and detailed.

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Tracy Matthewman: What excites me is change. I love change and one of the things that I definitely want to do before 2014 is to move to another country. I have set that date for myself. To me, that’s a big change, and it excites me. For some people, those types of change are way too scary. So I love change and I love new things, and obviously those are closely related.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Tracy Matthewman: Recently with meditation and reading books that help me to get to know myself better, and also taking part in activities that are helping my personal mission in life. I mentioned my favourite quote, “Being the change you want to see in the world,” so I nurture my soul by being that change.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Tracy Matthewman: I would use it to change the dream of the Western world because the Western world right now is into consumption, and we feel like we have to have all this stuff, and because of that huge demand for stuff, it’s actually destroying our planet. And if I could change one thing it would me that dream that everybody have this idea in marketing that tell us we have to have all these things. So if we could change that dream of consumption to something that would help the planet, that would be great.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Tracy Matthewman: At the cottage in the hammock looking at my daughter barefoot playing in the sand.

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