The Invisible Mentor

Posts Tagged ‘Bill Clinton’

What would it be like to travel to 80 countries? Doreen Conrad has done that, and now it’s not daunting for her to take on the world. This is Part Two of your workshop this week. What you can expect to learn include:

1. The steps Doreen Conrad took to succeed in international trade and services
2. What she recommends for those just starting out
3. The five life lessons she has learned so far
4. How she generates great ideas

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

I’ve had quite a full career in the private sector, public sector and overseas in an international organization. I have learned very much, which I am now applying by working as a management consultant, having retired from the government and the United Nations.

How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

My situation is unique in that we didn’t have children, so the personal life is my husband and I working on my career. He was in a unique position because he was able to travel with me most of the time because he retired early. He is my life and with me quite a bit. Now that I operate a home-based, he is my accountant. I have the luxury of work not interfering with my personal life because my husband is always with me, and there are no other things to feel guilty about, or tough to build into my life such as children getting into university, and encouraging and mentoring them. My personal life is fairly straightforward that way.

Having children introduces a certain amount of complexity into your life in trying to juggle everything. In my particular case it’s not a juggling act.

What’s a major regret that you’ve had in life?

Not having children of our own. Not through any fault of our own, we weren’t able to, and that changed my life as well. That was a major, personal aspect of my life because I was then choosing to focus on my career, and I think it took me in a completely different direction.

What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

• The biggest lesson I learned is something I read a few years ago and I keep it with me everyday, “Picture that you have one gas can of energy everyday, would you like to spend most of that on negative things that you cannot change, or would you rather use it up on very positive thoughts and very positive actions?” Pick your battles. Every time you find something is annoying, just think, “I’m not going to say anything because in the scheme of things, it’s going to use some up my energy and I don’t want to waste it on that.” This is something very important which I have shared with many people who have wasted much of their day on something they cannot change.
• Marketing is everything that you do. What you wear, what you say, people are judging and assessing you. I’ve traveled with young people who have said on route to a business trip, “I guess I’ll wear my jeans on the plane,” and I say, “Well you can do what you want, I choose to dress up in a pant suit because you never know who you are going to meet” and sure enough two out of three occasions we bump into someone who is a very high level client and they are looking at me as a business professional and the other person as a student. Always have business cards with you even if you are not in business. I tell recent graduates to get business cards made up so they have a leave behind for people to contact them easily, and they look professional.
• I took a course a long time ago on conflict management and that has helped me enormously in my career. You learn some basic things such as, if you are going to argue or disagree with someone, there is no reason to use the word YOU. For example say, “If this continues, this is what the impact is going to be, so what we need to do is, instead of you did this and now this has happened,” which puts people on the defensive. This has stuck with me all these years and I just heard a speaker talking about practically the same thing that you should remove yourself from the situation and keep it in third party so that was quite reassuring for me. I suggest to your readers to look up any books they can find on conflict resolution because it just helps you in your day-to-day dealings at home, and with your colleagues at work, and it avoids confrontation.
• Always be professional and never lose your temper. If you have to leave the room and cool down, just never let anyone see you lose your cool.
• Networking is important and is an opportunity everywhere. If you are in a service industry, as most people are in North America, you have to have a wide network of people who are going to refer you. Develop network skills to get out there, and realize that everyone is a prospect who can potentially refer you to someone else. I have many example of how that has happened for me over the years. Perfect your networking skills ad make sure you are well read so that you have something to talk about, and ice breakers ready when you meet people.

When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

I’m quite competitive so I really like games, card games in particular. I like to play with friends, and I like watching a little bit of television, not too much, mostly nature programs and true crime, to get my mind off things.

What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Someone once said to me that I’m a real lateral thinker. I look for opportunities everywhere. If I sit down to read the newspaper, I don’t completely tune out because I’m looking to see how I can use information, so I’m continually cutting things out of the paper. We were going to be marketing a course through the university and then I read in the newspaper that all the top companies in the region had education grants for their employees, so I saw it as an opportunity right away. It was an opportunity for us to go after the companies that already had budgets for this kind of thing. So I’m always thinking laterally and outside the box for opportunities everywhere.

What’s your favourite quotation and why?

“Marketing is everything and you never know.” And I would add to that, “What first impression do you make on other people?”

How do you define success?

Success is surpassing the goals you set for yourself. I never aimed at meeting expectations. I always aimed at surpassing them. So my own benchmark was to exceed everyone’s expectations. On all those performance evaluations when I was in the workplace, if I didn’t get the top box, we had to have a talk about what I needed to be superior, and the answer would be nobody gets superior because no one on the earth is perfect. So success is surpassing the goals you set for yourself.

In your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Have a positive attitude 100 percent of the time. It is patience and it is creativity.

What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

When I realized that this was quite a specialized field and there wasn’t quite a lot of material on it, I sought out to train myself. I found a couple of seminars in the United States. I found an annual conference that I attended every year. I just kept on trying to find out as much as I could to be the expert that I wanted to be in my field, which is international trade and services. It’s a unique and untouched area. I also went to a related conference called “Frontier and Services”, and academics would report on how the general public reacted toward hotels, airlines, management consultants and so on. I would draw from the examples and say, “If consumers are reacting to these trends, then we need to teach companies to do the following.” So again it’s thinking laterally and outside the box. It is taking what we know, what the research is telling us and applying it into a business strategy. This is what I did to succeed in my field.

What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

I would say not to necessarily go it alone. You already have a network of people who can help you, and give you advice, and they are happy to do so. When I realized all the things that I needed as far as advice and getting started as a sole practitioner, I had never worked on my own business in my life, and starting a little later in life, I realized I needed technology savvy because I’m going to have to get into social networking, websites and so on. I thought about who I had in my network who could give me advice and help me with that. I have nephews for example, so think about what you need, and who in your network you can draw from to give you advice on sources and the way forward. It’s very important to use your network and don’t go it alone.

If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

I’m not sure that I would say anyone in particular, but I would just generally say that I would love to speak to a world leader, who has had to deal with so many challenges, such as in Haiti or other least developed nations, and I would ask them how do they continue to lead and be positive and provide hope to their constituency. What’s the fire, what’s the passion, how do you keep going?

I would also like to speak to people who have survived grief – loss of loved ones – and ask them how they cope with that, and have the hope to go on. I want to be positive in all aspects of my life, and the things that worry you like health, and losing loved ones, and what’s happening in the world. It would be nice to talk to people who have something to share in that regard.

Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

One of the books I read is called Away from Her and it became a movie with Julie Christie. It’s about a childless couple just like my husband and I, about our age. She was diagnosed with dementia and he had to put her in a home. She was vacant after that and it was such a profound book to think about the fragility of life and how relationships are just hanging like that. That had a deep impact on me and I think about it quite a lot, and how it can happen, and pray that it won’t.

If you were stranded on a deserted island, what are five books that you would like to have with you and why? Summarize the book in two sentences.

1. One of the best books that really impacted me, which I quoted from earlier is, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and it’s all small stuff. It’s a really easy read, which gives you short, two-page strategies for various irritants in life and how to overcome them. I love that book, it would go with me.
2. The second one would be a book that I have wanted to read and haven’t had time. I’m interested in life thousands of years ago so I picked up a very interesting book on life of the ancient Egyptians, what they ate, how they survived, so I would take that book with me because I would love to get to it and I’m not sure I will unless I’m on a deserted island.
3. I would take a thesaurus because I would like to learn a new word every day. I think that would be a chance for me to sit down with a thesaurus and learn a few words every day, and have different ways of saying the say things.
4. I like Bill Clinton, he is one of my heroes. I have his very thick biography called My Life. Being on a deserted island would be the opportunity for me to read his biography that I wouldn’t otherwise get.
5. I also like fiction so I would like to have some of my favourite authors like James Patterson, and Jeffery Deaver.

What one music CD and movie would you like to have with you (on the deserted island) and why?

If I’m going to be on a deserted island, I would have to take one with Christmas music I love Christmas. And I love the music, and it would have to be the one I have which has Christmas carols sung by crooners of yesteryear such as Bing Crosby and Nat King Cole. The movie would be Gone With the Wind because I think there is so much to that story. It is very powerful and I have seen it many times.

What excites you about life?

Possibility, anything is possible. The fact that the world is smaller than I thought it was. I have been to over 80 countries now, some of them many times, so it’s not daunting to me anymore to take on the world. I think the possibilities are endless.

How do you nurture your soul?

I nurture my soul through the appreciation of nature. I love nothing better than going for a walk in the woods up at the cottage, or sitting on the dock looking at the lake for hours. This regenerates me, and brings me back to my roots, and makes me realize what a beautiful earth we have.

If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for? Or, if I gave you a magic wand, what would you use it for?

I would wish that they could help Indonesia and Haiti. It’s just one tragedy after another, and the people have suffered so much. I would wish that they could be on a good road to recovery with no more tragedies.

Complete the following, I am happy when…..

When others I care about around me are happy. I’m kind of a pleaser, so if something is wrong in someone’s life who is close to me, I am not happy either. I empathize a lot and so it’s really important to me that everything in the world is good with all those I care about.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Did you say thank you today? Which five books, one music CD and movie would you like to have on a deserted island? What does success mean to you and how do you define it? Read Gina’s responses in Part Two of  her interview. Use this information because we are on this journey together. Let’s learn from the wisdom and experiences of others.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

I’m a wife and mother who runs her own strategic marketing and communications consultancy in London, with a portfolio of very exciting clients.

All the people I work with, both clients and associates, are smart, ambitious and great at what they do. It’s a great fun being a Director of a famous restaurant and food company like Cafe Spice Namaste in London; we’ve just launched a new product in a very fashionable department store, and our Chef Patron, Cyrus Todiwala, has just been awarded an OBE by the Queen. Editing Leader, an e-zine for the global luxury hospitality market (http://www.profile-recruitment.com) is fantastic too, giving me the excuse to visit and meet some incredible places and people around the  world. I also work with a brilliant communications expert who happens to handle PR  in the UK for the world’s largest hotel brand. Everything I do is very stimulating and over the years, my work has been extremely diverse.

The fact that I work with people with similar values to mine helps. After the ‘me-first’ culture of the last decade, a sense of community and collaboration is important. Being part of peer networks, such as the Worshipful Company of Marketors, the City livery company for marketing professionals, is excellent because it has a civic and charity focus as well.  I’m also very keen to help raise the profile and economic empowerment of women, through organisations like the 50,000-strong The International Alliance for Women (TIAW), of which I’m a Board member. They do wonderful things like promote micro-credit, mentoring and entrepreneurship.

As an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

Nurture the people who give to you, always give back. Also, someone I spoke to recently said that one of his mottos was ‘you can’t have two faces’. Treat everyone with equal respect. That is so true.

How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

In my heart, my family – including my extended family – takes precedence, which is probably owing to my Asian roots. They know this, so their behaviours enable me to give my work precedence if that makes sense.

What’s a major regret that you’ve had in life?

That I didn’t spend enough time with my two younger sisters when I was growing up. I was too busy wanting to be ‘one of the boys’ as I’m the middle child with two older brothers!

What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Respect yourself and all people; b) never give up and that’s different from cutting your losses c) know that you can’t know everything, d) trust in Someone or something higher; e) never forget to say thank you.

When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

A good book, French choral music or a Bach cantata. I also enjoy listening to Beethoven’s piano concertos, particularly when rendered by Mitsuko Uchida.

What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Reading almost everything I can get hold of, including adverts in the tube. Walking around London. Talking to people.

What’s your favourite quotation and why?

In dreams begin responsibilities – Yeats. It shows that imagination and desire aren’t enough; we have to take action to make things come true.

How do you define success?

Being content with what you have, but knowing you have journeyed from here to there and not stood still.

In your opinion what’s the formula for success?

The same as luck – the marriage of preparation and opportunity.

What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Generally, I was never afraid to try something new and see where it would lead.  I didn’t have fixed ideas and notions about myself. When I did, I knocked on the right doors. But I was lucky always to have an orbit of good and wise people around me for support.

If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Audrey Hepburn – ‘How did you do it?’ – Her elegance and style are almost cliche, but she is after all an icon. She was apparently a very decent person, and she took her UN charity work extremely seriously. She had an aura of quiet dignity.

Virginia Woolf – ‘Why did you do it?’ – She was the subject of my Masters dissertation years back at Newcastle University, and I focused on her voluminous diaries.  Her death was abrupt and premature, although not surprising given her history of illness, and it deprived literature of a razor sharp pen. I like the way she to an extent turned her back on stifling upper-class Victorian tradition and was unashamed to use her brains, talent and art to make a living. To me, she’s part of the tradition of great women adventurers and innovators — she introduced us to a whole new landscape of writing.

Siri Hustvedt – ‘How did you learn to think and write like that?’ – Her books, specifically What I Loved and The Sorrows of An American are deep and unusual character studies and she offers not so much plots as enquiries. They’re quite unnerving, and always beautifully written.

Hillary Clinton – ‘What keeps you going?’ – She is a marvel to watch, because she never stops pushing boundaries.  I was trying to choose between her and Nancy Pelosi, but running for President, being a Senator and now Secretary of State nudges her a couple of feet forward. Few make the mistake now of referencing her as the wife of Bill Clinton.

F Scott Fitzgerald – ‘Who was Jay Gatsby?’ – Another writer, I’m afraid, but the truth of The Great Gatsby and the fascinating circus that was the jazz age revisited us in the last three decades, imploding less than two years ago. So much been written about them, but I don’t think we’ll ever unlock the mysteries lurking behind our modern day Jay Gatsbys.

Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply? Did you have an emotional or intellectual attachment to this book? Why?

Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell. I read it every year for four consecutive years in my teens. It was about honouring land, tradition and a way of life, but also about rebuilding things that had been destroyed and accepting change.

The noblest characters weren’t always the main ones, which has some universal truth  about it.

If you were stranded on a deserted island, what are five books that you would like to have with you and why? Summarize the book in two sentences.

The Bible – Timeless wisdom and, depending on the edition, arguably the best written novel in history – and every word rings true.

Gone with the Wind –Margaret Mitchell.  The American Civil War signals the end of an era.  One woman decides she must not only survive the change, but thrive in it.

A Summons to Memphis – Peter Taylor – Pulitzer Prize novel about a  son who discovers the meaning of forgiveness when summoned home to help his sisters keep an elderly father from remarrying.

New Hart’s Rules – The handbook of Style for Writers and Editors – All the guidance you need to get the technicalities right.

Letters Between Six Sisters – edited by Charlotte Moseley – the glamorous and scandalous Mitford girls, in their own words

Have you read any books that inspired you to start a business, service or invent “something”? If yes, which book?

No book in particular, but I have always read business journals and magazines – Fortune, Business Week, the Economist.  As it happens, as much for the style as the content.

What one music CD and movie would you like to have with you (on the deserted island) and why?

French Choral Music by the Choir of Clare College, Cambridge directed by Timothy Brown.

Shoot the Moon, a film directed by Alan Parker. Ostensibly sad, but ultimately life affirming…especially for women with ‘Faith’

What excites you about life?

People, and the endless possibilities for innovation and reinvention.

How do you nurture your soul?

Good music and good books. The Zoroastrians – and I have met many to admire — have a good mantra: good thoughts, good words, good deeds, which seems to be a recipe for peace of mind.

If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for? Or, if I gave you a magic wand, what would you use it for?

That my son grows up to be decent and successful, in that order.

Complete the following, I am happy when…

I am working, and when surrounded by family and friends.

What aspects of Gina’s story can you apply to your situation? What would be your five great ideas and takeaways from this interview? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please comment. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right side) by email or RSS Feed. I created a Mini Learning Toolkit and you can grab a copy by clicking here.

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About Gina McAdam

Before founding Stratemarco, a successful London-based marketing and communications consultancy, in 2003, Gina was Head of Marketing and later Head of Policy Development & Public Affairs for the National Training Organisation for the UK hospitality and tourism sector. Today, she is a highly-regarded communications expert whose work brings her into regular contact with leaders of some of the best known brands in the UK and global hospitality and tourism industry. Highly versatile, she also undertakes assignments for key public,private and voluntary organisations beyond the sector.

Gina was raised near Washington DC and Manila. Moving away from the family traditions of law, banking, agriculture and medicine, she started her career in advertising for Ace-Compton/Saatchi & Saatchi in Manila where she handled various Proctor & Gamble accounts, and at J Walter Thompson Advertising Company, handling the Anne Klein, Cacharel and SC Johnson brands. After that, she travelled extensively, writing and teaching in Madrid and working in publishing in New York. Today, she is regularly invited to contribute pieces to publications in the Far East – it is her way of keeping in touch with her Asian roots.

Highly committed to diversity in the workplace, Gina has been on the board of City Women’s Network (CWN) and is now on the board of The International Alliance of Women (TIAW). She is a member of the European Professional Women’s Network and a Changemaker for the UK charity Working Families.

Gina is a Freeman of the Worshipful Company of Marketors, and a member of the International Association of Business Communicators (IABC), for whom she was a guest speaker at the 2008 IABC Eurocomm Conference in Barcelona. She is a member of the Institute of Director, and holds an MA in English & American Literature from the University of Newcastle upon Tyne and is an alumnus of De La Salle University, Manila and Henley Management College, Windsor.

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