Posts Tagged ‘biggest failures’
Mentor Yourself – Interview With Invisible Mentor Deborah Nixon, President
10 Self-Mentoring Ideas from Deborah Nixon
- Build a network of contacts who you can call on, and take the time to nurture those relationships.
- Your relationship with people is absolutely everything.
- Follow your passion. If you’re sensible about it, usually takes you to a really good place.
- If you come from a place of integrity, honour and humility people respond to that.
- Most of us can survive almost anything.
- You have to read your market very well, and be willing to change and adjust your offering because you cannot convince the market. The market is what the market is, and you have to be open to letting go.
- When we go into things, and we assume that what we’re trying to get out of something is what the other person wants to get out of it as well, we often do not check with the other person, we don’t question assumptions, and sometimes it’s wishful thinking because we want something so badly that we won’t look critically and won’t ask the tough questions.
- If you have resiliency it gets you really far in life.
- Integrity is all about what you do when nobody is looking.
- Pay attention to where things are going and read widely.
Invisible Mentor: Deborah Nixon, President/Founder
Company Name: Trust Learning Solutions, MyMoneyMindset
Website: http://www.trustlearningsolutions.com
Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.
Deborah Nixon: My area of specialization is working with leadership teams in organizations trying to build better relationships, conflict resolution, and actually to help them work more effectively together. I have another business which is quite interesting as well called My Money Mindset. I work with women helping them to look at psychological issues toward money.
Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?
Deborah Nixon: I don’t have a typical day. My life is driven by my clients. At some point in the day I will always be doing some writing. I will talk a lot to people – people are interested in talking about trust a lot and building relationships. And of course there is the other part of my life which of course is dealing with my 15 year old son and my lab. And so I try to structure my life around being a mother and doing my work.
Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?
Deborah Nixon: I stay motivated because I feel the work I do is really important to people. I know it makes a difference. Everyday I speak to people about my work and research. People keep on telling me how important it is for organizations to work hard in building trust and integrity into their operations, and into the way they deal with people. That really motivates me a lot.
Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?
Deborah Nixon: From a career perspective, if I started over from scratch, I would take a lot more risks and I would have followed my passion. I think what happened to us is that we get the messages about building careers, and climbing the corporate ladder. What I found in my career was people would often hit a wall at some point and they get to that inevitable midlife crisis, which sometimes comes earlier than midlife where they really question the meaning of what they are doing. I certainly did that along the way but looking back, I think the greatest satisfaction I got in my career was in my mid-thirties when I walked away from everything that I’d done before and started to do what was meaningful to me. I wish that I’d done that earlier and not be so worried about the implications. To follow your passion if you’re sensible about it, usually takes you to a really good place.
Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?
Deborah Nixon: I think my response aligns with my response to the previous question. It is about being true to who you are. You can’t fake it, and I believe that if you allow people to be the essence of who you really are, if you worried less about doing the “right” thing, and more about doing the right thing in the deepest sense of the world. If you come from a place of integrity, honour and humility people respond to that. You still may not get the sale or the deal but what you will have formed is a relationship built on respect and an enhanced reputation where people will remember you and somehow that pay-it-forward concept does come back to you.
Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?
Deborah Nixon: I don’t know if they are threats, they are more like challenges. It’s how we interpret the situation, so I don’t see a lot of threats in my life because threat implies fear. The challenge in my work – the trust piece is important and people acknowledge how important it is – is that senior leadership often doesn’t want to do anything about it. The challenge is how to approach helping people to learn about building their reputation and integrity and trust with others and the organization without being afraid that it will expose them. I think most people work in trust, deep down they don’t believe they are trustworthy and are terrified that people will discover that. And that’s actually never the case, so the biggest challenge is to work around that. The way I deal with it is to not come into this topic in a direct way that unmasks anything. You have to create safe spaces for people to discover what they are about, so that’s my biggest challenge and it’s a big one.
Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?
Deborah Nixon: A lot of people say that they work in the trust space and employee engagement, but I think what’s unique is that I have a PhD in Trust from the University of Toronto, so I have spent 15 years researching and practicing in the area. My depth of knowledge is above a lot of other people in the area. One of the unique things I do is that I work both at the behaviour and attitude level so people will say to me, “Tell me about trust,” and I’ll come in and work with your teams about how to speak better to one another, how to respond to the elephant in the room issue, but I helped people to practice their skill, so they get an awareness by the time they leave the workshop, they know what their next step is and how to do it.
Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?
Deborah Nixon: My husband died 12 years ago when my son was two, and that was probably my biggest challenge because he was young – he was 37. My dad had died the year before, my mom was not alive. My husband had a business, I was at home with our son, and I was in the middle of my PhD. The biggest challenge that many of us face, just like in a divorce, your outlook is a bit soured and it’s a scary place to be because you have to rebuild life from the ground up. It’s not a question of resolution, but one of growth. I was terrified at the prospect of my husband dying and I was petrified and thought the world would end. How would I get up the next day? How would I manage? The really big lesson in that is the power of spirit and the incredible ability of people to not only survive from a tragedy but also to thrive, and I learned that it is truly possible. I know that most of us can survive almost anything.
Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.
Deborah Nixon: I don’t think I got a big break, nobody gave one to me. I’d learn from the hard knocks school. I got to where I am through persistence, resilience and really hard work. Every time I began a business it really was from the ground up, from my conceptual plan and vision. It was about working incredibly hard, getting out and networking, and building the case for what I had. I didn’t have a mentor, and I didn’t have anybody hand me a break. It would have been nice to have.
Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?
Deborah Nixon: I think my biggest failure came when I got my PhD and I developed two assessment tools in partnership with another company. I would say that conceptually the two tools were great, but they were a dud in the market. I think what I learned from it is that when you start a business, you have a project that is your baby. What I learned is that you have to let go of your personal connections to your concepts, ideas and to your business because it will take you to the edge of the cliff and over. Because I believed so much in my vision and my product, I think I was blind to what the market was telling me that there was no space in the market for the product as it was conceived. I thought if I worked harder I would convince people. What I’ve learned is that you have to read your market very well, and be willing to change and adjust your offering because you cannot convince the market. The market is what the market is and you have to be open to letting go.
Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?
Deborah Nixon: One of the toughest decisions I had to make was separate from my last business partner. It was tough because I had so much invested in the product and into that relationship so it was both personal and professional. It was very hard and stressful during that period, and it became very personal so it impacted me in that I thought we shared the vision. It was a great disappointment to me. It also impacted me positively in that it made me realize that we all have expectations when we go into things and we assume that what we’re trying to get out of something is what the other person wants to get out of it as well, and that we often do not check with the other person, we don’t question assumptions, and sometimes it’s wishful thinking because we want something so badly that we won’t look critically and won’t ask the tough questions. The experience made me a lot more realistic going into new ventures. Right upfront I will ask the difficult questions even if I don’t think I will like the answer I will still ask because we need to know.
Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?
Deborah Nixon:
- My husband’s death.
- My son’s birth.
- Getting my PhD.
Those were all life-changing events – two really positive and one very tragic but they shaped who I am today. They were very seminal events for me.
Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?
Deborah Nixon: It’s my son who is 15, I knew the risks of raising him on my own when he was two years old. A boy being raised in a single parent household with a mother at the helm is at risk in our society and he has turned out to be an unbelievable, incredible young man. I’m very proud of him.
Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?
Deborah Nixon: I really believe in mentoring, but I’m not sure I had mentors. And that’s why I try to mentor a lot of young women. I have people I admire and I have people who I ask their opinions. I did have people to turn to who guided me.
Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?
Deborah Nixon: The most critical thing that I’ve learned is that your relationship with people is absolutely everything. When I was in executive search, I used to say to people, “I do not screen for your technical abilities, I really have very little interest in asking you about your greatest accomplishments.” I’m assuming that if you’re a director at a prestigious company, that you have competence. I’ve learned that it’s more important to focus on the people side of things.
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The Chief Mentoring Officer Interviews Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay
Interviewee Name: Annemie Ress, Senior HRD eBay & Global Engagement Lead at eBay
Company Name: eBay EU
Website: http://www.ebay.com
Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.
Annemie Ress: I’m South African by birth and grew up there. I studied law, worked in Switzerland for a short while and have been living in the United Kingdom for the past 13 years. For the past 13 years I have worked for Pepsi (for a short while because I worked for them in South Africa). I also worked on the trading floor for the International Petroleum Exchange and since then I have been working at eBay. I have had multiple careers at eBay.
I’m totally passionate about diversity, positive psychology, human rights and I just did the New York Marathon with my husband.
Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?
Annemie Ress: I’m a morning person, so I get up and get on with it. I start early and always fit in some exercise. I love walking. I’m not a marathon runner. I fundamentally believe that I get the best from myself, and others get the best from me when I’ve had the opportunity to walk. I tend to listen to a variety of podcasts while I walk. I’m not a quiet walker. I catch up on news, and I listen to everything, podcasts from the World Service, economics, philosophy, or whatever for a couple of hours, then I come into work very, very early. Working for a California-based organization they have very long hours so it’s really back-to-back. I tend to have a lot of time interacting with folks and a lot of my time is spent on coaching.
I have a real passion for people, innovation, and just helping people to think and approach problems differently. And a typical evening would be just falling down in absolute exhaustion on the couch and watching news again. I love foreign movies, so that’s kind of what my day is like.
Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?
Annemie Ress: I find a lot of motivation in getting up and working on things that fundamentally make a difference in people’s lives. It doesn’t have to be a life changing event, or have to be big things, I think what I’ve learned the hard way is having been a human rights lawyer, a little naive, I thought I could change the world. I fundamentally now believe that I can’t change the world but I can change experiences that I have with other people on a daily basis, and in a little way, try and contribute to make changes by asking the right questions. And for myself, learn things and so change the world, instead of thinking I have to work in Africa or in a war zone and that way I can change the world, but actually I can’t. It really starts in your community with the people you interact with every day, that’s what really motivates me. If I can ask one really great question that will make someone think differently about absolutely anything in a day, that gets me out of bed in the morning.
Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?
Annemie Ress: I am tempted to say I would change a lot of things, but you know, every mistake I have made, every experience I’ve had has turned me into the person I’m now. The biggest thing I would have done differently would have been to approach university differently. I was too serious and I think I should have thought more and not just be there to absorb, and I do not know if it had to do with the way our university education worked. It wasn’t until the end of university that I started turning into a person who developed her own thoughts and thinking. I know that doesn’t sound very deep and meaningful but I wouldn’t change anything. The painful things happened for a reason, the wonderful things happened for a reason, but I would have hadmore fun at university and been more thoughtful around how I engaged with academic content.
Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?
Annemie Ress: I think both in business and in life, it’s the importance of being able to distinguish between what are your issues and what are other people’s issues. The inability to distinguish between the two, having those lenses on, to wear those glasses leads to a lot of pain publicly and privately. The biggest lesson I have learned is to be able in a moment to take a step back and analyze the situation professionally and personally, and find out what’s really going on here, what am I reacting to? What are my issues, what are the individual’s issues? whether personal or professional and then move ahead.
Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?
Annemie Ress: At a non commercial level I think a threat is the constant drain on people’s energy whether it’s mental, physical, emotional or spiritual energy. Working in a relentless fast-paced environment, the question of renewal and how people renew themselves, and consequently how businesses renew and unlock the capacity to innovate is a huge challenge, for any business today, not only ours. How I am handling them both in our organization and personally, is we’ve done a lot of work with something called The Energy Project that works with organizations. Two authors, Tony Schwartz and Jean Gomes work with organizations in four quadrants – mental, physical, emotional or spiritual and help folks to unlock their full potential and also unlock innovation and consequently create people and organizations that can sustain themselves no matter what is happening externally.
In uncertain times the ability to sustain one’s self and organization and constantly renew is critical so that’s why I honed in on this.
Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?
Annemie Ress: We’re eBay so you can buy and sell anything. We’re a marketplace we’re turning into a retailer. I don’t think there is anything else like eBay. Folks talk about Amazon…we’re much more than that, and we are yet to be what we are to become, and that’s in part why I am still here. We’ve moved from being a consumer-to-consumer business to much more to business-to-consumer, new in season, really having one of the best phone apps out there, also being very relevant. There are so many things that are unique about us.
Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?
Annemie Ress: If we think about business challenges I think we’ve all often been confronted with suggestions where we have to personally do things that are commercially right but are hard on people. In what I do, luckily not too often, but often I’m in the situation where I’m involved in those things and I think the lesson I’ve learned in the process are no matter how hard the message you have to deliver, as long as you treat people with authenticity, respect and fairness, like adults frankly – adult-to-adult conversations – you can walk out from any challenge that you face, which might not be pleasant, but you can truly walk out with your head held high. And also the folks who are going through the tough and challenging times retain their dignity and respect because they were treated fairly and honestly.
I think if one looks at the macroeconomic environment, there are examples of companies that have done that really well, and examples where they haven’t done that well. But at a core, being fair, authentic and treating people like adults, giving hard messages, but in a very respectful way, and having a lot of integrity has taught me that no matter what happens the response that you get is always positive, even if it’s hard. It’s not positive in the sense that if you have to deliver a hard message, folks aren’t necessarily overjoyed, but their dignity remains intact and your organization becomes known as one of integrity and fairness, which is important for folks who stay and leave.
Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.
Annemie Ress: I have never really planned anything and things usually just happens, but the biggest opportunity I had was being asked if I wanted to work in Switzerland by a professor I was studying with, and saying, “Yes, that would be great,” not thinking for one second that I’d get the job. He obviously had more confidence in me than I did in myself and the next thing I knew I was on a plane and working in Switzerland. That’s my biggest break, having someone have faith in me. I had no international experience, I was South African, and had never worked abroad, but had someone believe in me and that has opened doors for me to work globally.
Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?
Annemie Ress: I think it’s one that I’m still working on. I’m a very intuitive person, but my biggest failure has been in the past where I didn’t trust my intuition, and I didn’t have my heart and head connect on certain business issues. And then when you have that nagging feeling, every time I’ve had that nagging feeling that something isn’t right, in a commercial situation or otherwise, whenever I have just operated with my head, I tended to be not that successful, or when I have tended to operate with only one side of my brain, whether the right brain or the left brain. I find whenever I’m fully engaged in a problem, fully present, trust my intuition, trust both my right and left brains, that’s when I have the most success. So my biggest failures have been around when I get a little bit lazy, and not fully present.
Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?
Annemie Ress: Leaving South Africa and going to live in Switzerland. I had to leave behind a lot of people who I cared about, and a country that I loved very much, but I knew that making that decision could potentially open doors. I think the way around it was I initially decided to leave for a two-year period, and I set a time limit for myself and I always thought that I would return, but life happens. I have been very fortunate to end up after Switzerland, working in the UK and then getting the opportunity to work globally. It was a really tough decision and I have never cried as much as I did in the first few months in Switzerland but I know it has absolutely changed my life and the lives of many people who I interact with.
Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?
Annemie Ress:
- Leaving South Africa.
- Leaving Switzerland after seeing how the international machinery of the United Nations operates. The second most important event was leaving Switzerland and realizing that the most impact that we as individuals can have in changing the world is not necessarily through those big institutions, and this is not a criticism because they have a place, but if you really want to change the world, that’s made me realize with my experience in Switzerland seeing how other bodies operate, I have realized that I can change the world but not on a big scale, it’s much more impactful if I can do it everyday with the interactions that you have with people.
- Coming to the UK. I think despite what others may say, people may say that London is tolerant and vibrant, and I don’t experience the UK as being cold and unfriendly. I find that it has opened my mind, and again I came from a country that was isolated for many years internationally, then went to Switzerland, which is fairly isolated, then came to London. And I think London certainly has left its mark on my soul, culturally – with what I’ve experienced, the people I have been exposed to – and intellectually. It has really changed me and I am now a much more rounded person.
Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?
Annemie Ress: I am not there yet, there are a lot of small things that I’m very proud of. One that I would be proud of if I can is being able to live in the now every day. I don’t know if you have read the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, but if I can just master living in the now, that’s what I would be proudest of.
Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?
Annemie Ress: My mentors have taught me the amazing power of powerful questions, and how you don’t necessarily need to guide by telling, but that wonderful things can happen if you’re open to asking questions and always thinking that you don’t have all the answers but that by asking powerful questions in a given circumstance you can unlock many possibilities.
Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?
Annemie Ress: I heard something interesting from someone the other day that made me reflect. Clearly I’m passionate about living more in the now, and I think the only thing we have, and are certain, of is this given moment, this very second that you and I are interacting. What’s come before is gone, what comes next we have no control over, we really don’t what’s going to happen, but we have to value the now because then we do not have regrets. Someone also said that “Opposites in life are very important.” I don’t know if this makes sense, but they gave me this example, “Honesty without compassion is cruelty” and they went through a wholes series of those types of opposites, and it made me reflect again on the need to always surround yourself in life with a diversity of ideas, very different people that you can be exposed to, never be closed to the wonderful possibilities of what can come from surrounding yourself with people who are so different from who you are.
How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.
The Invisible Mentor Interviews Karen Parsons, Human Excellence Coach
Interviewee Name: Karen Parsons, Human Excellence Coach
Company Name: Successful Solutions
Website: http://www.karenparsons.com
Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.
Karen Parsons: I am a life and business excellence coach, speaker and author. I help empower successful professionals and organizations to further excel, using my depth of understanding about human potential and how to leverage it. The beginning of any change must start with awareness. You cannot change what you cannot see. So I assist my clients bring to the surface; limiting beliefs, perceptions and behaviours that are the hidden barriers to achieving their highest potential. I then provide them with transformational tools, processes and techniques for implementing lasting and positive change!
Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?
Karen Parsons: I usually begin my day early, 5:00, 5:30 am, it starts with a coffee. I usually start working on the computer right away, replying to emails, planning my day, preparing for coaching sessions, client meetings and so on. The morning is my favourite and most creative time of the day. My day can vary depending on whether I am in my office, home office or at a client site. I make sure I always schedule time for meditation and exercise and of course family time.
Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?
Karen Parsons: Fortunately for me I am a very motivated person. My challenge is to do less, not more. However, for those times that I do feel down and less motivated, I listen; is it time to slow down for a little while? Take a break? Or is it time to forge ahead and get past that little voice in my head that wants to quit. Knowing the difference is key. I teach my clients the subtle differences between the authentic voice pointing you in the right direction, guiding you to be the best you or the voice of fear, the ego, the sabotaging voice of negative self-talk. When you learn how to consistently plug into that authentic voice you move from being motivated to being inspired!
Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?
Karen Parsons: I would have realized sooner the importance of being in the moment and enjoying the ride instead of thinking happiness comes from getting to the destination.
Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?
Karen Parsons: Discovery for me is a daily process that builds upon itself. I don’t think there is one that I could highlight.
Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?
Karen Parsons:
- Being an excellence coach means that I assist clients push the envelope, expand their possibilities, and fulfill their highest potential. Many corporations understand the necessity and immense value of giving their leaders and their teams, the tools to improve themselves and be even better. But there is a greater amount of companies that still see this type of training as an expendable luxury. So my challenge is to make sure that I package what I do in a way that they can fully understand the tangible benefits of investing in excellence coaching in terms of higher productivity, engagement, retention and profits.
- There is so much to do in my business, marketing and promotion, thoroughly preparing for client sessions, ensuring that I am up-to-date on leading edge thinking and solutions as it pertains to human potential, development and business excellence, following up, writing seminars and keynote speeches, it can be overwhelming at times. I have to be vigilant in my prioritizing and focusing and goal setting.
- I am approached by so many people, associations, charities, and media to help them. Give a free seminar or workshop, free coaching, interviews, articles. I am so grateful that they see the value in my work and I got into excellence coaching because I want to assist people live out their greatest potential and create meaningful and lasting success. So my motivation is to always say yes. The threat is not finding the balance between the paying work and the free work. So now I really pick and choose what gratis work I do and which is going to make the greatest impact for others.
Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?
Karen Parsons: I think the uniqueness begins with me. I have a unique combination of experience that enables me to relate and add value to clients in a wide variety of areas. Firstly, I was a search consultant for 18 years and worked with thousands of professionals in hundreds of corporations. So there is a lot of knowledge and expertise that I can impart in the area of career coaching. Also having worked with so many professionals from start-ups to large corporations I have an in-depth understanding of business and can add a lot of value as a business strategist. So I have many clients who actually use my services to talk about specific business situations, client issues and so on and we strategize and come up with solutions. I also have a unique personal background that has given me many life experiences that I have learned so much from that has translated to being able to help my clients design the life they really want to create for themselves.
My clients consistently share with me that they feel I have the ability to hone in on what their roadblocks or hidden barriers may be and empower them to bring them to the surface where they can see what the issues and challenges are. Making visible to them what was causing them stress, what was driving their choices, their behaviours and then giving them practical ways to change what needs to be changed.
Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?
Karen Parsons: One of the biggest challenges for me was when I seriously injured my back and was in bed for five months and then years afterwards of pain and rehabilitation. In that situation I was forced to change. I was forced to slow down. I was forced to become more reflective, I was forced to accept that some things were out of my control.
I learned so much that we wouldn’t have time today to discuss it all. But to summarize, I learned the importance and necessity of finding balance. I learned how to find the good in what happens to you that may not seem like it is so good at the time. I learned to live my life with gratitude. I learned to trust and let go more to where the flow of life wants to take me instead of always trying to control where I was going. So being more open and in tune to the clues and synchronicities of my life. Lastly, I truly connected with my authentic self and that is the greatest gift you can receive.
Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.
Karen Parsons: I didn’t have any big break. My success has been a steady climb.
Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?
Karen Parsons: There isn’t one big failure that comes to mind. I actually don’t believe in failure. There really is no beginning or end to success. It is a process of ups and downs. The trick is to realize this and not let the circumstances of life control your inner experience.
Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?
Karen Parsons: To leave the search consulting business. I was one of the top search consultants in Canada and was enjoying a thriving career. But through the back injury I described earlier and really connecting with my authentic self, I knew that I was meant to do more. To push myself to new levels. Most people would think I was crazy to leave something so successful to pursue a new career but I knew that I had to. If I didn’t then I wasn’t living my life to my full potential and for me that would be a tragedy. The impact of that choice has been so many life lessons learned so much growth as a person. It was the greatest decision I ever made. I can truly say I have lived a life of no regrets and I am not afraid to take risks and push myself to new heights. For me it would be a very sad story if I lived this life in the comfort zone.
Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?
Karen Parsons:
- An incredible, strong single mother raising me.
- The marriage to my husband who has supported me and has a similar life philosophy.
- The birth of my daughter and how much she has taught me.
Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?
Karen Parsons: I really like the person I am becoming and I am most proud of the fact that I continue to work on how to be a better person and even though it may be painful at times, I don’t let that pain or fear stop me. I push through it and the result is tremendous fulfillment, happiness and success.
Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?
Karen Parsons: My greatest personal mentor was my mother. She was very successful in business. Very tough and wise. My mother gave me one of the greatest gifts a parent can give. She instilled a belief in me that I could do anything, that the only limitations were in my own mind. Wow, what a powerful gift to give a young woman.
Avil Beckford: What’s one core message you received from your mentors?
Karen Parsons: The other mentors in my life were all of the incredible authors of the hundreds and hundreds of books I have read. Like Wayne Dyer, Anthony Robbins, and Deepak Chopra. They were my mentors at the beginning of my journey into the field of human potential and excellence which really began 20 years ago. The core message for me would be to continue to work on yourself, growing and learning is a life-long process and you have to continually push past your limitations.
Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?
Karen Parsons: Find a personal practice that connects you to your authentic self, the voice that guides you instead of letting others and the circumstances of life guide you. We all have so much mental chatter and we are moving so quickly through life that we don’t stop to question, “What do I want out of life? What kind of work experience do I want to create?” Continually question where you are and what you want and figure out how to get there and most importantly enjoy the journey. That’s really what it is all about.
How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.
The Invisible Mentor Interviews Martha Mertz
Interviewee Name: Martha Mertz, Founder of ATHENA International
Website: http://marthamertz.com
Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.
Martha Mertz: I’m a businesswoman who started company in 1978, at a time when woman weren’t starting companies. Women weren’t running companies, women weren’t considered leaders. I started the company, it was small, it was modest and I grew it into a very successful company. I ended up developing properties, most of which I retained, and these were commercial properties that were in Michigan. So that’s my business track and I learned a lot about business and life and about myself by having that experience. Along the way I started an initiative that has to do with women in leadership, which has now become international in its coverage. That has also been an experience from which I have drawn deep understanding, great motivation, and incredible perspective about the world we’re living in now, and the progress we’re making, and where we need to continue to go.
Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?
Martha Mertz: I’m a creature of habit, so no matter where I live I have an office that’s outside my home that I go to every day. I check up on my e-mail, I catch up on my communications, and I set up my to-do list every day, then I’m devoted to getting whatever those items are done that day. Sometimes it might be communicating with people, sometimes it might be writing, or it could be making a business decision. But I like to work from an office, I like routine, I easily get distracted, I get interested in hundreds of things so I have to structure myself to accomplish the things that I need to for that day.
Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?
Martha Mertz: I have focused on certain things that I consider to be important to me and so I assign to myself every day whatever it is that I want accomplish. It’s the passion that motivates me. I’m passionate about the things that I’m focused on, and whether it has to do with the local issue in the community where I live, or of global issue in the world at large, whatever it is that I have decided to work on I’m already passionate about. That motivates me. I think I’m motivated by a passion for making a difference.
Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?
Martha Mertz: I would believe in myself earlier and deeper. I would have recognized my own voice, that the messages I wanted to convey, that the things that I considered important were worth listening to, and were worth doing something about. It took me a long time to build an understanding about how relevant my message was and my mission was in the world. It took me a long time to believe enough in myself, and if I had started that earlier I probably could have taken it much further, but I wouldn’t really change anything in terms of what I have done. I love what I’ve done, and I wouldn’t change any part of it, but I would’ve believed in myself earlier. When I started there was no outside empowerment, I had to provide my own. Now, for women doing anything there is all kinds of support and encouragement and mentoring and so on. But when I started none of that existed, and so it was self generated. It’s better now because we have discovered how important it is to support one another.
Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?
Martha Mertz: For the economy in our country to get out of the present state of paralysis that it’s in, we have to allow the financial resources to begin flowing again. Everything is choked up right now, and when you’re in a state where everything is choked up, everything stops. It’s causing a deterioration in our economy, and it’s causing a deterioration in the entire financial world. I find this very alarming and it’s not going to lead us in any good direction. We need to get the economy moving again in a productive way and that hasn’t happened. So I have discovered in my view that the banks and lending institutions have taken a completely different role than used to be the case, what they are doing now is making money through internal investments and they don’t need to circulate the money in the public realm and it’s ruining it for everyone except the lending institutions. They’re doing fine, and the rest of the world is being squeezed out of the necessary flow of resources to build in order to develop, and in order to thrive. In the last year, that’s the discovery I’ve made and I find it alarming.
Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?
Martha Mertz: I built commercial buildings and they house retail shops so I’ll speak from that perspective.
The use of the Internet by consumers to purchase goods has completely and radically changed the mode of operation for retail establishments. You can go on the web and purchase virtually anything you want, you have no idea or need you care where that item is coming from. The need to go to a destination to be a consumer has completely changed and it’s giving retail operations a number of new challenges. Many of them are rising to the challenge by offering their services both in the physical location and a presence on the Internet, so there are ways to overcome that but there had to be a rapid adjustment in the way that retailers operate because of the Internet. I don’t know that that was expected.
I don’t really have any threats to my success, in my view I have already achieved my success. And one of the questions that people ultimately get to ask themselves is, “what does success mean to you?” What is it? And we don’t all measure it in the same way. Success is measured in financial comfort and security. A certain level of financial comfort and security is necessary as a basic need, but when it gets to be in excess of a certain amount then that doesn’t spell success anymore. There is a need to achieve something that matters that makes a difference in the world. I don’t really worry about threats to my success, I just keep on doing the kinds of things I do in the world at this point I note that their additive.
Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?
Martha Mertz: I’m identified as the founder for Athena International, which is an organization that supports, develops and honours women who have achieved the highest level of professional excellence. It honours women to ultimately see women as the leaders they are and that we will achieve a balance in voices in leadership globally. With the title as founder of that organization, and the voice for that mission, I’m the person who is an ambassador to lift women up, one at a time, individuals who are making a difference, by doing so changing the understanding of women as leaders. So that’s what’s unique about me.
Avil Beckford: What do you observe most people in your field doing badly that you think you do well?
Martha Mertz: I’m going to be answering this question from the perspective of women and empowerment. When women in this field approach this work it’s with, it’s all about me attitude, what’s in it for me. Or it’s all about self-enrichment, and it completely changes the soul of what they’re doing. I think and I have learned that when I do this work my viewpoint is to have the larger picture in mind, I have to do the work because I believe that there is a need in the world to empower women. It can’t be about empowering me because when it’s turned inwards it’s less important and it becomes small. The message that this work requires is very large.
Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?
Martha Mertz: When I was starting Athena International it was really meant to change one institution. It was the Chamber of Commerce in the middle of Michigan. I was asked to be a member of the board and I was the only woman on the board and when I tried to bring other women who were leaders in the community on to that board my male colleagues would not recognize those women as leaders, and they basically didn’t see women as leaders, or worthy of sitting at that table. I have never figured out how I got there, but as I started Athena I was asked to talk about this in the community, talk to groups and it took me a long time, my major challenge at that time and it was pivotal. For the potential success of this effort entirely was learning how to present my ideas in public.
It was public speaking and I was terrified, and part of that was I wasn’t entirely confident that saying these things was important, or saying these things and starting this cause and being passionate about achieving a balance in leadership was worth anyone’s time in those days and still it took me a long time to recognize the importance of what I had to say and to give myself permission to do that and to learn how to become comfortable being the spokesperson for these ideas, which rapidly became not local but global. That was the biggest challenge in my life I think – learning that my message was important, and how to present it in the most effective way possible. And the way I did that was my doing it. I had to overcome fear, I had to find a way to get into my rhythm, I was terrified and that isn’t an unusual problem, people are terrified about public speaking, so was I. But the way to overcome that is to do it over and over and over until you finally recognize that what you have to say is resonating with your audience and it matters.
Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?
Martha Mertz: I had a hard time with this question because I have a tendency not to hold onto my failures. I go through them I learn something and then I go on. In my life, I guess one of my biggest failures was when I took a turn in business toward something I didn’t know enough about and I spent a lot of time and a lot of energy and a lot of resources in a direction that ultimately ended up not working.
I lost a lot, and the loss taught me that I shouldn’t believe that because I’m good at six things that I’m going to be good at another different six things, I shouldn’t believe that. To be really good at something a person needs to have a background, experience and knowledge, and I approached something without enough knowledge, didn’t do my homework and it cost me, but what I learned from that was you need to know quite a bit before you launch anything, and do your homework, learn as much as possible before taking a step, then think about what would happen should this not work out for me.
What is the price of this endeavour? For me the price of the endeavour was a great lesson. I hadn’t prepared myself adequately, and in the future I need to do that, and I did. Don’t risk something until you’re ready, but always go forward. Nobody ever considers themselves to be fully ready so there comes a time when you just have to believe that you’re able to pull it off. That’s a mixed message but that was one of the major learnings in my life.
Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?
Martha Mertz: It was the decision to leave a marriage after 20 years. I think that was perhaps one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever had to make because it impacted my children and my former husband and myself in ways I knew that wouldn’t be easy and would be painful. My decision was going to be causing pain to others. What did I learn from that? I learned that there’s a cost for humans to grow. I couldn’t grow adequately within the relationship that I had. I needed to expand beyond what was possible in that relationship. Sometimes we have to take a path that’s very tough to remove the kinds of constraints that might exist in that circumstance and will want something that is bigger and allows space for one to develop one’s self.
Life sometimes presents very hard choices, and this happens to all of us, but in those situations decisions have to be approached very carefully, and weighed very carefully. It’s not to be done very lightly and it’s important for the personal who is making the decisions to reach out and try to ameliorate backflow from that so that one is protected as much as possible. Personnel decisions that have to do with change are very, very tough, but there are ways to get through them. In my case it was essential that I move on, and ultimately opened the way for a great relationship with my current husband and with him I have been able to grow and develop the capabilities for whatever directions I need to go.
Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?
Martha Mertz:
- Starting my own company was a major issue. At the time that I did that, there was no support for women. Women didn’t have companies, woman didn’t run companies, women weren’t seen as having business voices and there was no infrastructure to move forward with. One of the hardest things to do was just find enough belief in myself to do that, and I did that. Because I started a business it gave me a public presence and I was able to build a reputation for excellence from that public presence and that helped to shape the business life that ultimately led me into the women’s work that I’m still in.
- Raising the three children that I have in many ways have been my biggest teachers, each one in their own way because they’re all different. Children provide us with every challenge that is out there and oversight of the family requires executive abilities that people don’t even recognize as leadership, but it is. My children in their early years as well as now fully fledged adults and independent, but I’m still learning on a constant basis from those people whom I had the privilege of being their mother. That was something that absolutely shaped my life.
- The time at the Chamber of Commerce when I asked my male colleagues to bring other women on to the Board of Directors because I didn’t feel my perspective was the same as my male colleagues’ perspective and I needed more people who would think and see things and prioritize things the way I did, and that moment when they said, “no these woman aren’t leaders” changed my life when I saw how they perceived the whole half of humanity in the guise of woman as not having the skills and talents to be equal partners in conducting the business of the community. That recognition and understanding at that moment, and what came from that, and what I did about it has changed my life.
Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?
Martha Mertz: For the things in my life, the circumstances in my life that I have focused on, and that have worked hard on, and I continue to work hard on, in each case when I apply myself, I’m proud to say that I can make something happen, I can change things, I can leave a different legacy. I think that I’m most proud of the fact that I can bring a different legacy. My life and my work have made a difference and now I can look back and say, “Wow, that worked.” That was effective, people needed that, and I’m proud of that.
Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?
Martha Mertz: One of the problems I had was that there were so few mentors, and so the influence of not having a mentor is pretty huge. If you don’t have someone to guide and help you, to believe in you, to help lift you, to direct you and provide some kind of information that you might not have run across, then you have to find your way by yourself. That’s harder and it’s unnecessary and may take you in the wrong direction to get somewhere. The lack of a mentor early in my life for where I was going, there were plenty of people who were happy with the status quo for me, but any time I wanted to step away from the status quo and do something that was not yet done either by women or by people, that made it harder. Lack of mentors was one influence in my life that I had to grow from.
Another thing I’d like to say is that I’ve learned a lot from reverse role models, mentors. What that means is somebody who’s showing me exactly how I wouldn’t want to be. I have learned more from people who have indicated or demonstrated who I wouldn’t want to be. And I’ve learned from the positive role models that I have had because that kind of lesson steers its way into your soul. So if someone is standing in front of you, are in your life who is providing you with what you perceive to be very negative or destructive behaviour, instead of taking it and absorbing that, it’s much wiser to try and step away even from yourself and watch because it’s really that person showing you and giving you a lesson on how you don’t want to ever be.
That can be very instructive, and we all have people in our lives who do things in ways that are hurtful and harmful or destructive or negative in some way, and that’s a learning experience. And it’s something that you can add to your understanding of human nature and your understanding of yourself because we are all capable of doing exceedingly good and exceedingly bad things. It’s very good to learn that we don’t have to pick up the destructive behaviours to be effective. There many positive mentors and everyday I learn something positive from someone.
Avil Beckford: What’s one core message you received from your mentors?
Martha Mertz: The best message that I have ever received is life is a journey it’s not the destination, that each day we lead ourselves forward and so we are all involved in leadership. It starts from the individual and builds up to whatever your reach might be. We are all on this leadership journey and you need to enjoy the journey because if you only focus on your destination then you might reach that destination and it’s fine, but then where will you go? You might have a momentary sense of great satisfaction, but what I’ve learned is that it’s just wonderful to be able to recognize where you are on your journey, as you’re moving along and appreciate everything that’s happening to you along the way. Appreciate the lessons that you’re learning and the successes that you’re having and the fact that you’ve succeeded at one thing, you’re going to find another mountain that you want to climb, there it is, you just crested one mountain and how wonderful is that. It’s what motivates all of us to keep going and keep growing.
Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?
Martha Mertz: Recognize that life is a journey and not a destination, and enjoy every part of it. Take time to enjoy where you are now. Don’t always be pressing forward to get somewhere. You are already somewhere, you’ve come a long way, you’ve done things, you’ve got lots more to do but there is always mountains to climb so enjoy the path that you’re on right now. This is the moment of your life, every moment add up to a life but don’t wait until your life is over for you to enjoy it. Enjoy the journey and celebrate every day.
And remember that it’s important to be authentic, live authentically and what I mean by that is to know yourself, know what your values are, and live in alignment with your values. Believe in yourself and know your own strengths, make a difference, give back to the world, leave a foot print which reflects who you are. Have the courage to step up and speak out when the time requires it.
How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.
Mentor Yourself With Andrina Lever, Balloon Express
Interviewee Name: Andrina Lever
Company Name: Lever Enterprises, Balloon Express
Website: http://www.balloonexpress.it
Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.
Andrina Lever: I was born in England but grew up in Canada and in various other countries. I started traveling when I was nine months old. I went to 17 different schools growing up in three countries. I graduated from law school in England and started out in human rights law and sold my soul to the corporate world. I went into banking and was in advertising for awhile. I got married and my husband and I lived in various places – England, New York, Australia – then we moved back to Canada. In 1988 I started my own business Lever Enterprises.
Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?
Andrina Lever: Now I live overseas again in Firenze, Italy. I’m not working so much in my own consulting business anymore although it is still active and I take on special projects, my husband retired so we moved to Firenze. So a typical day for me now is I get up and go into the office and work with our son who has a company that’s in import, distribution, and manufacturing of balloons and arty products. He is looking at expanding so a typical day is working in the office for 10 hours, having a nice long leisurely lunch, which is very Italian. It’s pretty intense, I do a lot of work with foreign suppliers and partners of the company. I come home, my mom is living with us, I read, sleep and start all over again.
Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?
Andrina Lever: I was just born motivated. I am an optimistic and positive person and I enjoy my life and I enjoy what I do so I look forward to getting up in the morning and going to work every day and that’s what motivates me.
Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?
Andrina Lever: I honestly do not know if I would do anything differently. Maybe I would have been more disciplined with certain things that I did. Sometimes I resisted because it seemed like it was something to do, but everything seemed to work out. I think that’s a difficult question to answer, it’s hard to undo what you already know or what you have already done.
Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?
Andrina Lever: I don’t know if it’s a discovery as much as a confirmation, which is that I’m pretty adaptable. Our family has faced a lot of challenges in the last 20 months and I guess that has confirmed for me that I’m pretty strong and I have the ability to do what needs to be done.
Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?
Andrina Lever:
- Our company Balloon Express has always been the leader in its field. It’s a vey unique company, and the way we do things here is unique. We are the leader and trendsetter and what’s beginning to happen is that we have more and more competition and more and more companies copying us. So we continually have to stay ahead at the leading edge.
- Another challenge for us, and I can only speak for the Italian market, is that it’s very difficult to find the right employees that have the right skills that we need to work in the company. There is little unemployment in Florence but there is a lot of competition so finding the right people is a second big challenge for us.
- The third challenge which again is unique or a mix. Moving from Canada and coming to work full-time here, with the openness of the European Union the challenge we have is competitors from other countries in the EU can come into our market, and it happens. That’s very tough and again we are constantly finding new competitors and challenges.
Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?
Andrina Lever: We provide an integrated approach. The company was started by my daughter-in-law 19 years ago. It started out as purely importing and distributing balloons and party goods in a way that had never been done like this in Italy. The company goes out, we have 45 of our own shops, we have 1500 clients, 30 agents and we train everybody and we spend a lot of money training people in our shops in balloon décor. There is a lot of creativity, we design our own products, take products from all different suppliers and integrate them together.
Every year we host the largest Balloon Arts Convention outside of the US called the Balloon Arts Convention International. We continually enter competitions to draw attention to the company, and we hold the world champion title for the largest balloon sculpture that was seven meters tall. The company has held the Guinness Book of World Records since December 2001 and we continually advertise in very high end publications like Italian Vogue and Weddings Today. We spend a lot of money on promotions, it’s impressive.
Avil Beckford: What do you observe most people in your field doing badly that you think you do well?
Andrina Lever: Customer service. We spend a long time working with our customers and our customers’ customers and we train people. Sadly most of our suppliers, which are major multinational companies, do not put such a high premium on customer service despite what they say.
Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?
Andrina Lever: My daughter-in-law started this company 19 years ago, and she was the driving force. We helped her. I did a lot of research for her when she started the company. But two years ago very suddenly and tragically she died while on holidays, which is the biggest challenge that anyone can face in business. She was the driving force, the visionary. She had a gift in terms of choosing products, so we had to deal with a huge emotional loss and pull together to ensure that the company continued and that the predator competitors out there – and they were out there – did not try to take advantage of the situation. I’m proud to say that every single person in the company pulled together as a team through a very difficult time.
The asset that the company has is really the people, the team we created. Everybody in the company has worked for us for quite some time and they are very loyal so we pulled together. One of the big lessons is the better you treat people the better they treat you, and never underestimate the value of the staff because you can never be prepared for something like this. It’s a small company so when you lose a key person it puts a burden on everybody else.
Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.
Andrina Lever: I’m not sure if I ever had a big break. I had some lousy jobs before I started to work for myself but I always tried to make them fun and learned as much as I could from them. When I came back to Canada after living away for a long time, it was really very difficult to get a job. I met a head hunter and they sent me for a job that I really didn’t want, and it really wasn’t in my field, and I suppose that was considered a break because when I was being interviewed the guy told me there was a consulting side of the business which would be a better fit for me, and he offered to hire me on a contractual basis and after a year I was placed full-time. I think that was more of an opportunity than a break because someone read between the lines on my CV and saw something else there.
After about five years with this consulting firm, I was beginning to feel frustrated and some of our clients could see that. One client, in particular, encouraged me to leave and start my own business and promised he would be my first client. He did not like the man I worked for so I never felt like I ‘stole’ a client or business from my employer, but that client helped put my own company on a secure financial basis when I started out so I immediately had a positive cash flow which was great! He also saw ability in me which I did not see in myself.
Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?
Andrina Lever: I’m not sure that I’ve ever had a big failure. I think we all make mistakes and we learn from those mistakes. Some of them are the way you handle situations or relationships, but I can’t say that I’ve had a really big failure. Sometimes I think I’ve been very lucky, I think I’ve always had a good attitude and I’ve had a lot of positive people around me who support me and I support them.
Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?
Andrina Lever: I think it was a very tough decision to leave a well paying job and strike out on my own. I was no longer happy with the company that I was working for and several clients were encouraging me to leave. They told me that they would continue to use me as an advisor, and they did. I think the decision was tough because I really didn’t know what I was doing. I never looked back and I set goals for myself including how much money I wanted to make, and I figured if I equalled my salary (If I stayed employed) the first year then I was doing okay. But that was a very tough decision to make to leave the security of a well-paying job to strike out on my own, that was a gutsy move to make.
Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?
Andrina Lever:
- The way that I grew up. We traveled a lot and I went to a lot of different schools. If I used that as a collective experience, that had a huge impact on my life, how I view the world and my ability to be adaptable, outgoing and comfortable in many different circumstances and my treatment of all people as my equals.
- My father left us when I was in my early thirties and he went to live on a tropical island on the Pacific and that had a huge impact on me and the way I looked at life because I never thought that would happen to me or our family, and it did. That had a dramatic effect on me and taught me that you never take anything for granted. Anything can happen to anybody at any time.
- Facing the death of someone close to you has a dramatic effect on you in terms of facing your own mortality. You really need to appreciate what you have and the people around you. And the one thing about that, that I really have to say about my daughter-in-law’s death was the last time I saw her we were all leaving to go on holidays and I told her how incredibly proud I was of her and of everything she created. To this day, I’m glad that I said that to her because I never saw her again, she died after that. Sometimes you don’t tell people something that’s important and good because you just don’t get around to it, so I’m eternally grateful that I said what I did to her.
Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?
Andrina Lever: Staying in business for all those years – 25 years. Being successful and keeping my reputation. That was a big accomplishment.
Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?
Andrina Lever: I didn’t realize that they were mentors at the time. There were three men in addition to my father. When I was growing up my father always told me, “You’re going to be somebody. You’re not going to work for other people, you’re going to get your education and you’re going to do something.” My husband always supported anything that I wanted to do. During the frustrating times when I said, “I cannot do this anymore,” he’d say, “Of course you can, or if you don’t want to do it, give up,” and of course he knew that I wasn’t going to give up.
When I was working at my last job, three men approached me separately and told me that it was obvious that I wasn’t happy anymore, and told me if I decided to leave then he’d support me. At the time one was a banker. One of the men owned a consulting company in New York and one was a client The three men independently and without knowing each other saw something in me and encouraged me to start my own company and helped me and taught me things I didn’t know. They also helped my self-confidence when it would go down.
Avil Beckford: What’s one core message you received from your mentors?
Andrina Lever: That I was better than I thought I was. I think a lot of women particularly from my generation suffered from self-confidence issues even though we knew we were smart and we had the paper to prove it. They told me I was smarter and I could do better and that was a big help to me.
Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?
Andrina Lever: I hate this quote from Nike, but sometimes you just have to do it. We look at other people and think they had it easy or they did it the easy way. I have had several young women say to me, “You always had great jobs and everything you did was fun,” and I’d say, “You know that’s not true. I had some crappy jobs and no it wasn’t always fun.” But something my father always said to me was, “Keep your sense of humour, you’re going to need it,” and I did. I think it’s important to keep your sense of humour and have a good outlook on life and sometimes don’t take things so seriously. Yes business is serious, but step back, be objective and don’t try to second guess yourself too much, just do it.
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