The Invisible Mentor

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Thanks for subscribing to my blog, and I wish you the best for 2011. Next week I will have couple of posts but we go back to regular schedule in January 2011. I have conducted several interviews, and I will spend some scheduling figuring out how to add more value to this blog. The questions I have been thinking about are:

1. How can I take the interviews and present practical applications to the readers?
2. What kinds of information do readers need to make their work and life easier?
3. If there is one thing that I could change now to make The Invisible Mentor better, what would that be?

If you have ideas, please write them in the comment box below. Happy Holidays and let us work together to make 2011 the Best Year Yet for all of us.

Photo Credit: Bing via Apture

Since last week I have been including tools to assist you with your professional development. The Reading & Listening Plan Process has been taken from The Invisible Mentor Toolkit, which is packed with a lot of tools and processes to enhance continuous learning. The Toolkit is also designed to walk you through the process of choosing your five invisible mentors.

1. Invest in a good speed-reading course
2. To get tips on how to get the most out of your reading, read
   1. How to Read A Book
   2. Book-Lover
   3. The Reading of Books
      
   4. How to Read and Why
      
   5. The Art of Thought, (The Thinker’s library)
      
   6. The Thinker’s Guides (Center for Critical Thinking)
3. Set a daily reading goal and schedule it into your day
   1. Try to read about 40 to 50 pages a day, which will allow you to read about a book each week
   2. Get up earlier and/or stay up later if necessary
   3. If your aim is to attain mastery in a topic within three years you have to apply the necessary discipline
4. What to read each month
   1. Choose another two from the list of books that influenced people profiled in Tales of People Who Get It and the CEOs featured in the New York Times article
   2. Have a combination of fiction and non-fiction and every now and again read a children’s book “just because”
   3. Refer to the presentation How to Build Intellectual Power for a possible reading lists
How To Build Intellectual Power
View more presentations from Ambeck Enterprise.
5. Each week listen to an interview and a speech by or about one of your invisible mentors from the list in your Self-Discovery Worksheet
6. Join a Book-of-the-Month Club. Two suggestions are:
   1. Book of the Month Club http://www.bomc.com
   2. Quality Paperback Book Club http://www.qpb.com
7. Subscribe to business book summaries and use them as a guide to decide which books are worth reading. Two good ones are:
   1. Audio-Tech Business Book Summaries http://store.audiotech.com
   2. Soundview Executive Book Summaries http://www.summary.com
8. Make professional development a fun time for the family. And, if you have a long commute to work, invest in:
   1. Unabridged books on CDs and tapes to listen to during the commute
   2. Audio programs that your family can listen to during family time or on road trips
9. Create a form to record information on the books that you have read, for easy reference.

Click on the comment link below and leave a note for me. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the left side) by email or RSS Feed. I created a Mini Learning Toolkit and you can grab a copy by clicking here.

For your research and writing needs, consider my firm Ambeck Enterprise for white papers, articles, fact sheets, anniversary booklets, you name it. Since I am the best kept secret you may not know this, but I have over 15 years research and writing experience. I KNOW content. And if you cannot figure out which books to read for professional development, I am your WOMAN. I can assist you with that too. Visit my sales page for resources such as The Invisible Mentor Toolkit to assist you in acquiring wisdom from a distance. For free white papers click here.

All book links are affiliate links.

I got the idea for this post after I read the headline “10 Reasons You Need a Mentor, Especially Mid-Career.” I decided to approach this post by presenting the responses to mentor questions that I ask accomplished people, and you get to decide if you need a mentor.

How did mentors influence your life?

Dennie Theodore

By believing in me. That’s the thing you need most when the world is feeling dark.

David Gray

Mentors have influenced my life more by their actions and their own ways of conducting themselves rather than by any specific mentoring per se.

Rodger Harding

Mentors have held up the mirror and shown me potential I did not know I had…Oftentimes I only realized the enormity of their contribution years later…

Deborah Koehler

They made all the difference in the world. They believed in me when I doubted myself.

Shannon Van Roekel

I never had a real mentor, unless I can count my mother, but I have had lots of examples of what not to do and a husband who is wise.

Brian Johnson

Interesting that I get to this question after describing the above. I have a complex relationship with mentors.

On the down side, had I followed a couple of “mentors’” advice early in my life, I never would have created my first business, eteamz. When I asked some pretty successful people what they thought of the idea, they thought it was a terrible idea and one actually told me “to take another hit on that pipe if you think you can pull that off.” They told me it would cost at least a million dollars to build the technology (we did it for less than $15,000 + 6 months of hard work and a lot of canned tuna) and reminded me I had no experience or contacts so who was I to get that money and build it (fair points as I had very little business experience and essentially no contacts). Oh, and they said I violated rule #1 of a business: the market has to “need” your product—which was a valid point because, at the time, there were only a few hundred teams and leagues in the world who were using the web so they didn’t think there was a need.

That was just the motivation I needed to rock it. I set the goal of getting 1 million teams in 5 years. (We got there in 4)

On the positive side, I’ve gotten amazing support and wisdom from some extraordinary human beings. Special thanks to Sam Wyly again, plus John Mackey (the CEO of Whole Foods) and Gay Hendricks (author of 30+ books including my favorites: “Five Wishes” and “The Big Leap”).

Being around these guys has totally changed my life. But, I’ve gotta say that it has been less what they *told* me (although they’ve each given me great practical advice) and much more about who they are and how they show up in the world and how that mojo has rubbed off.

For example, the scope of Sam Wyly’s vision is RIDICULOUSly big. He sees the world in terms of THE WORLD. So, when I’d tell him I wanted millions of people in our community at Zaadz, he’d nod his head and smile and say, “How can we do it and how much money do you need to do it?!?” (I remember one day when I met with him (a billionaire) and a nice, well-meaning potential investor (a millionaire) and the difference between how BIG they thought and the resulting advice they gave was *amazing.*)

Additional unsolicited advice: In addition to choosing your mentors wisely, I think the biggest thing to keep in mind is to trust yourself. Ultimately, a great mentor is someone who reflects back your highest potential and helps you tap into the wisdom you already have while sprinkling some tips they’ve picked up along the way. I’d personally run away from anyone who tells me I’m thinking too big or can’t do something or some such other nonsense.

As John Eliot says in his great book, Overachievement: “as soon as anyone starts telling you to be ‘realistic,’ cross that person off your invitation list.”

Steve Spalding

I like to believe that I learn something from everyone I talk to, that’s why I love chatting with different kinds of people.

As for my mentors, I think that all the people I would consider mentors had shared one thing in common — they have given me the opportunity to make mistakes.

What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

Dennie Theodore

To be yourself, ask questions and be an advocate for yourself and others.

David Gray

Establish trust by being principled and doing what you say you will do.

Rodger Harding

That I am a gifted person who has loads of untapped potential…Using this potential will benefit myself and others.

Deborah Koehler

You know what you need to do within yourself, trust yourself and move toward where you are pulled.

Shannon Van Roekel

The best thing I can do to market my book is to learn to write well.

Brian Johnson

Trust yourself.

(I vividly remember a chat with Steve Wynne (the former CEO of Adidas who we brought on as our CEO at eteamz), when he told me the two most important things about business: 1. Trust yourself. 2. Business is simple, keep it that way.)

Steve Spalding

I think that is the core message. To grow as an entrepreneur, you need to have the freedom to make mistakes. If you don’t, you can’t expect to do anything interesting.

People grossly underestimate how complex business can be, they assume that everything will work out exactly as planned. What I will say is that in all cases that I’ve seen, it never does.

One of the few good things a mentor can give you is the room to breathe that you need to learn this for yourself, find a solution (or not) and fail with your head held high.

They need to teach but only after they’ve let you do it yourself for a while.

What are your thoughts after you have read the responses to the two questions? Do you need a mentor?

Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over here The Invisible Mentor (top on the left side) and subscribe by email or RSS Feed. I created a Mini Learning Toolkit and you can grab a copy by clicking here. Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please comment.

George Eliot an English novelist said, “It’s never too late to be who you might have been.” As you do your planning for  2010 remember that quote, and make sure that you’re living the life you were meant to live, and not the life that others expect you to live. NO EXCUSES, you’re not too old, or too young, or under-qualified, or over-qualified and so on and so on. This is your life, not a dress rehearsal.

Interesting Tidbit

George Eliot is the pen name for Mary Anne Evans (22 November 1819 – 22 December 1880).

There is truth to the adage that no one succeeds alone: the Lone Ranger had Tonto, and Bud Abbot had Lou Costello. They needed and relied on each other to achieve their goals. Even the self-made millionaire used “somebody’s” resources to achieve professional success. It makes sense to have a system that allows people to pool their mental capacities to solve problems, generate great ideas and perhaps even conquer the world.

Who do you have on your support team, the people who watch your back?

Your support network should consist of about four to six people who are committed to helping each other achieve their goals. Members of this support network do not have to be from the same company, they just have to have a willingness to help others while helping themselves. Each member of the network assumes the role of “buddy” or sidekick to the other members.

Why You Need a Support Network

As part of the work I do, I interview accomplished people, and a recurring theme is the importance of having a group of people who support you and cheer you on. The language may differ from person-to-person, but the message is clear: “You need a team of advisers, people who you can call on, you need people to be accountable to, no one succeeds alone, you need people to watch your back.

How to Find Members for  your Support Network

1. Identify people in your diverse networks whose goals, personal mission and values intersect with yours
2. Initially, get together to talk about what is important to you, and where you would like to see yourselves in five years
3. Brainstorm various ways to fill the gap between where you are, to where you want to be
4. Before committing, take the group for a test drive to discover if real chemistry is there

Desired Characteristics of the Members in your Support Network

• Leaders
• Willingness to share wisdom, knowledge and experiences
• Ability to explain, teach and communicate
• Capacity to listen actively
• Old enough to have learned important life lessons
• Accomplished and possess extraordinary perception
• Unique ability to sort out the valuable from the superfluous
• Facilitates understanding
• Enlightened and understand that the world is bigger than them
• Inspiring
• Willingness to help others succeed
• Engaging
• Well-read and has exceptional intellect
• Demonstrates intellectual inquiry
• Problem solvers
• Change makers
• Passionate

Characteristics of Highly Successful Support Networks

• Established ground rules
• Clear purpose and well-defined expectations
• Non-competitive relationship among members
• Safe and secure environment
• Absolute confidentiality
• Group has structure and focus
• Members pool knowledge and resources
• Encourage each other to achieve personal and professional goals
• Members support and encourage each other to overcome obstacles
• Personal chemistry within circles among members is important
• Respect for diverse backgrounds and needs of co-mentors
• Values among co-mentors are aligned
• Members are people whom you trust
• Members have to be people with whom you can speak freely to
• Improve upon each other’s unique skills
• Members recognize both academic and non-academic achievements/professional and non-professional achievements of each other
• Commit to meet between one to two hours every two weeks
• Evaluate regularly to determine if the needs of all members are being addressed by the group

Rotate roles and responsibilities among group members. Members in your support network could be co-mentors to each other. In today’s environment, standing still is no longer an option in work and life. Use your support to partner your way to success.