The Invisible Mentor

Archive for the ‘Self-improvement’ Category

10 Self-Mentoring Ideas from Deborah Nixon

1. Build a network of contacts who you can call on, and take the time to nurture those relationships.
2. Your relationship with people is absolutely everything.
3. Follow your passion. If you’re sensible about it, usually takes you to a really good place.
4. If you come from a place of integrity, honour and humility people respond to that.
5. Most of us can survive almost anything.
6. You have to read your market very well, and be willing to change and adjust your offering because you cannot convince the market. The market is what the market is, and you have to be open to letting go.
7. When we go into things, and we assume that what we’re trying to get out of something is what the other person wants to get out of it as well, we often do not check with the other person, we don’t question assumptions, and sometimes it’s wishful thinking because we want something so badly that we won’t look critically and won’t ask the tough questions.
8. If you have resiliency it gets you really far in life.
9. Integrity is all about what you do when nobody is looking.
10. Pay attention to where things are going and read widely.

Invisible Mentor: Deborah Nixon, President/Founder

Company Name: Trust Learning Solutions, MyMoneyMindset

Website: http://www.trustlearningsolutions.com 

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Deborah Nixon:  My area of specialization is working with leadership teams in organizations trying to build better relationships, conflict resolution, and actually to help them work more effectively together. I have another business which is quite interesting as well called My Money Mindset. I work with women helping them to look at psychological issues toward money.

Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?

Deborah Nixon: I don’t have a typical day. My life is driven by my clients. At some point in the day I will always be doing some writing. I will talk a lot to people – people are interested in talking about trust a lot and building relationships. And of course there is the other part of my life which of course is dealing with my 15 year old son and my lab. And so I try to structure my life around being a mother and doing my work.

Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

Deborah Nixon:  I stay motivated because I feel the work I do is really important to people. I know it makes a difference. Everyday I speak to people about my work and research. People keep on telling me how important it is for organizations to work hard in building trust and integrity into their operations, and into the way they deal with people. That really motivates me a lot.

Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

Deborah Nixon:  From a career perspective, if I started over from scratch, I would take a lot more risks and I would have followed my passion. I think what happened to us is that we get the messages about building careers, and climbing the corporate ladder. What I found in my career was people would often hit a wall at some point and they get to that inevitable midlife crisis, which sometimes comes earlier than midlife where they really question the meaning of what they are doing. I certainly did that along the way but looking back, I think the greatest satisfaction I got in my career was in my mid-thirties when I walked away from everything that I’d done before and started to do what was meaningful to me. I wish that I’d done that earlier and not be so worried about the implications. To follow your passion if you’re sensible about it, usually takes you to a really good place.

Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?

Deborah Nixon: I think my response aligns with my response to the previous question. It is about being true to who you are. You can’t fake it, and I believe that if you allow people to be the essence of who you really are, if you worried less about doing the “right” thing, and more about doing the right thing in the deepest sense of the world. If you come from a place of integrity, honour and humility people respond to that. You still may not get the sale or the deal but what you will have formed is a relationship built on respect and an enhanced reputation where people will remember you and somehow that pay-it-forward concept does come back to you.

Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

Deborah Nixon: I don’t know if they are threats, they are more like challenges. It’s how we interpret the situation, so I don’t see a lot of threats in my life because threat implies fear. The challenge in my work – the trust piece is important and people acknowledge how important it is – is that senior leadership often doesn’t want to do anything about it. The challenge is how to approach helping people to learn about building their reputation and integrity and trust with others and the organization without being afraid that it will expose them. I think most people work in trust, deep down they don’t believe they are trustworthy and are terrified that people will discover that. And that’s actually never the case, so the biggest challenge is to work around that. The way I deal with it is to not come into this topic in a direct way that unmasks anything. You have to create safe spaces for people to discover what they are about, so that’s my biggest challenge and it’s a big one.

Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?

Deborah Nixon: A lot of people say that they work in the trust space and employee engagement, but I think what’s unique is that I have a PhD in Trust from the University of Toronto, so I have spent 15 years researching and practicing in the area. My depth of knowledge is above a lot of other people in the area. One of the unique things I do is that I work both at the behaviour and attitude level so people will say to me, “Tell me about trust,” and I’ll come in and work with your teams about how to speak better to one another, how to respond to the elephant in the room issue, but I helped people to practice their skill, so they get an awareness by the time they leave the workshop, they know what their next step is and how to do it.

Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?

Deborah Nixon: My husband died 12 years ago when my son was two, and that was probably my biggest challenge because he was young – he was 37. My dad had died the year before, my mom was not alive. My husband had a business, I was at home with our son, and I was in the middle of my PhD. The biggest challenge that many of us face, just like in a divorce, your outlook is a bit soured and it’s a scary place to be because you have to rebuild life from the ground up. It’s not a question of resolution, but one of growth. I was terrified at the prospect of my husband dying and I was petrified and thought the world would end. How would I get up the next day? How would I manage? The really big lesson in that is the power of spirit and the incredible ability of people to not only survive from a tragedy but also to thrive, and I learned that it is truly possible. I know that most of us can survive almost anything.

Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

Deborah Nixon: I don’t think I got a big break, nobody gave one to me. I’d learn from the hard knocks school. I got to where I am through persistence, resilience and really hard work. Every time I began a business it really was from the ground up, from my conceptual plan and vision. It was about working incredibly hard, getting out and networking, and building the case for what I had. I didn’t have a mentor, and I didn’t have anybody hand me a break. It would have been nice to have.

Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

Deborah Nixon:  I think my biggest failure came when I got my PhD and I developed two assessment tools in partnership with another company.  I would say that conceptually the two tools were great, but they were a dud in the market. I think what I learned from it is that when you start a business, you have a project that is your baby. What I learned is that you have to let go of your personal connections to your concepts, ideas and to your business because it will take you to the edge of the cliff and over. Because I believed so much in my vision and my product, I think I was blind to what the market was telling me that there was no space in the market for the product as it was conceived. I thought if I worked harder I would convince people. What I’ve learned is that you have to read your market very well, and be willing to change and adjust your offering because you cannot convince the market. The market is what the market is and you have to be open to letting go.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

Deborah Nixon:  One of the toughest decisions I had to make was separate from my last business partner. It was tough because I had so much invested in the product and into that relationship so it was both personal and professional. It was very hard and stressful during that period, and it became very personal so it impacted me in that I thought we shared the vision. It was a great disappointment to me. It also impacted me positively in that it made me realize that we all have expectations when we go into things and we assume that what we’re trying to get out of something is what the other person wants to get out of it as well, and that we often do not check with the other person, we don’t question assumptions, and sometimes it’s wishful thinking because we want something so badly that we won’t look critically and won’t ask the tough questions. The experience made me a lot more realistic going into new ventures. Right upfront I will ask the difficult questions even if I don’t think I will like the answer I will still ask because we need to know.

Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

Deborah Nixon:

1. My husband’s death.
2. My son’s birth.
3. Getting my PhD.

Those were all life-changing events – two really positive and one very tragic but they shaped who I am today. They were very seminal events for me.

Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

Deborah Nixon:  It’s my son who is 15, I knew the risks of raising him on my own when he was two years old. A boy being raised in a single parent household with a mother at the helm is at risk in our society and he has turned out to be an unbelievable, incredible young man. I’m very proud of him.

Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?

Deborah Nixon:  I really believe in mentoring, but I’m not sure I had mentors. And that’s why I try to mentor a lot of young women. I have people I admire and I have people who I ask their opinions. I did have people to turn to who guided me.

Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

Deborah Nixon:  The most critical thing that I’ve learned is that your relationship with people is absolutely everything. When I was in executive search, I used to say to people, “I do not screen for your technical abilities, I really have very little interest in asking you about your greatest accomplishments.” I’m assuming that if you’re a director at a prestigious company, that you have competence. I’ve learned that it’s more important to focus on the people side of things.

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A lawyer by profession, Thomas Jefferson drafted the American Declaration of Independence. His biggest fait accompli was skilfully negotiating with France to purchase the state of Louisiana in 1803, which nearly doubled the size of the United States. Jefferson was also an inventor, and he is credited with helping to define the duties and regulations of the United States Patent Office.

Portrait of Thomas Jefferson by Rembrandt Peale in 1800. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Name: Thomas Jefferson

Birth Date: April 1743 – July 1826

Job Functions: President, Lawyer, Inventor

Fields: Politics and Law

Known For: Drafting the Declaration of Independence and Third President of the United States.

Thomas Jefferson, first secretary of state, the second vice-president, and the third president of the United States was born in Shadwell, Virginia in 1743. His early schooling included: Latin, Greek, French, and mathematics, from the Reverend William Douglas, and later from the Reverend James Maury. In March 1760, when Jefferson was 17 years old, he entered the school of philosophy at the College of William and Mary where he continued his studies in mathematics and other sciences.

In 1762, Jefferson left the College of William and Mary to study law at Wythe’s law office at Williamsburg for the next five years. Jefferson was admitted to the bar in 1767 and established a successful law practice.

Jefferson’s public career started in 1769, serving as a representative in the Virginia House of Burgesses, America’s first elected body of government, while he was still practicing law. The American Revolution which took place from 1775 to 1783 forced him to abandon his practice in 1774. An eloquent spokesman, in 1774, Jefferson argued that Americans had the natural rights to govern themselves in the famed document, A Summary View of the Rights of British America. His political thought underpinned the movement toward American freedoms.

After the American Revolution started in June 1775, Jefferson took his seat in the second Continental Congress in Philadelphia, which brought together the country’s leading political figures of the day. As a legal writer, and legislative draftsman, Congress named him to a committee with John Adams and Benjamin Franklin, Robert R. Livingston, and Roger Sherman to draft a declaration of independence. His colleagues on the committee tasked Jefferson with preparing the paper. Though John Adams, Benjamin Franklin made slight changes, Congress deleted an entire section that denounced the slave trade and blamed the King of England for continuing it. Many members of congress owned and traded slaves. The Declaration of Independence was signed on July 4, 1776, and it is essentially Jefferson’s.

The Declaration of Independence outlined the arguments justifying the position of the American Revolutionaries and also affirmed the rights of the colonists to dissolve the “political bands” with the British government. A key sentence from the document, which is often quoted:

“We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.”

In June 1779, Jefferson became the Governor of Virginia as the Revolutionary War entered a new phase when the British decided to attack the South. Early 1781, the British invaded Virginia, and Jefferson was criticized and blamed for the state’s lack of resistance, so he quit public service. Not having access to his farm and books, and the death of his wife in September 1782 had plunged him into deep despair. November of that year, Congress appointed him to a peace commission in Paris, but he ended up in Congress instead.

From November 1783 to May 1784, Jefferson drafted the first regulation of government for the western territory to create free and equal states out of the wilderness. He was also instrumental in creating foreign policy. Trade was important to America, and in 1784, Jefferson was appointed to a three-man commission along with John Adams and Benjamin Franklin to negotiate trade treaties with European countries. When Franklin retired, Jefferson replaced him as a representative to France, where he spent the next five years in Europe.

While Jefferson was minister to France, he consulted with European scientists on new inventions, and he also “observed the state of the sciences and new advances in technology, noting agricultural and mechanical innovations and labor-saving devices, all of which he reported to correspondents in America and a number of which he adapted for his own use at Monticello…. He reported to James Madison the new “phosphoretic matches,” the invention of the Argand lamp, and various applications of steam power that had come to his attention. He envisaged steam not as the means to achieve an industrial revolution but rather as a supplementary source of power…. The type of plough used by French peasants led Jefferson to design an improved moldboard, which he subsequently had constructed and tested successfully at Monticello.”

Jefferson also acted as mentor to French politicians Marquis de Lafayette, and Victor de Riquetti, marquis de Mirabeau. And in 1789, he was an informal adviser to the drafting of the French Declaration of the Rights of Man.

When Jefferson returned to the United States in 1789, President George Washington appointed him secretary of state, a position in which most of the times in the next three years he unsuccessfully negotiated with European powers. During his time as secretary of state, Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton, the secretary of the treasury became involved in a conflict. Hamilton was a Federalist, who favoured the interests of business, and the upper class, while Jefferson favoured agricultural interests. Hamilton emerged the winner in the conflict and Jefferson and his party formed a group known as the Republicans, which evolved into today’s Democratic Party. The dispute between Hamilton and Jefferson was the Bank of the United States, which Hamilton approved of, but Jefferson felt was unconstitutional.

Jefferson gave up his secretary of state position at the end of 1793 and once again quit public life, but in 1796 the Republicans made him their presidential candidate against John Adams. Adams won by a small margin and became President of the United States and Jefferson Vice President. The Republicans doubled their efforts in the next presidential campaign in 1800, which was an extremely bitter one. Jefferson and Aaron Burr ended in a tie, and Alexander Hamilton who despised Burr more than he did Jefferson, lobbied the Federalists in the House to elect Jefferson. Jefferson became the third president of the United States on March 4, 1801 in the new national capital, Washington D.C. When Jefferson was sworn in, he appealed for harmony among all political parties.

Jefferson worked with congress to restore freedom of the press, scaled down the army and navy, ended all internal taxation, and began paying off the national debt. He reformed the economic plans of government by reducing their means of power, and sought to further peace, individual freedoms and to help to solidify the American way of life.

He had many shining moments in his life, but Jefferson’s greatest triumph came in foreign affairs when he successfully negotiated the purchase of Louisiana from France in 1803 for approximately $15 million, nearly doubling the size of the United States. Jefferson was easily re-elected in 1804, but soon encountered trouble both at home and abroad. There was disharmony within the Republican Party and Jefferson had to fight hard to maintain control of Congress.

Jefferson encountered problems of attacks on independent US ships by England and France, which were engaged in war. Tension between American and France reached boiling point, and Jefferson avoided war when Congress passed the Nonimportation Act of 1806, forbidding the importation of British goods, and the Embargo Act in December 1807. The embargo met with some success but was extremely expensive and detrimental to the US trade. Near to the end of Jefferson’s second term as president, Congress reversed the embargo. At the end of his term, Jefferson retired to his estate, Monticello.

Jefferson served as the president of the American Philosophical Society from 1797 to 1815. During his retirement, he corresponded with many, and repaired his relationship with John Adams.  He also helped to found the University of Virginia in 1819. He died at Monticello, 50 years after the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and a few hours before John Adams. Months before his death, Jefferson wrote his epitaph, which read:

“Author of the Declaration of Independence and of the Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom, and Father of the University of Virginia.”

Tidbits About Thomas Jefferson

• From 1790-93, Thomas Jefferson served as examiner of patents. He is credited with helping to define the duties and regulations of the U.S. Patent Office. He refused to patent his inventions because he believed that the availability of patents and free sharing on knowledge would spur inventions, and also create prosperity for all.
• Throughout his life, Jefferson conducted scientific studies and collected data:
• Studied new methods for determining the heights of mountains, tested atmospheric moisture with a hygrometer, and used double-refraction optical instruments to measure small angles, eclipses, lunar movement, and Earth’s longitude.
• Recorded the appearance of many plants, animals, and birds on his Monticello estate and wherever his travels took him.
• Kept weather data all his life and shared it with other meteorological observers around the country.
• Invented a swivel chair, a writing desk that could be placed on one’s lap, a walking cane that converted to a chair, and a copying machine that duplicated letters as they were being written.
• Supported other inventions, including the hot-air balloon, dry docks for ships, the submarine, fireproofing for houses, telescopes, the camera obscura, carriage odometers, and personal pedometers.
• While Jefferson was president he conducted botanical expeditions around the Washington, DC, area and distributed European seeds to the local vegetable markets.
• Though he declared that he was a friend of Native Americans, Jefferson ran them off their land as fast as any president before or since. He wrote about the evils of African American slavery, but did nothing effectual to limit its growth after 1800, let alone to begin its abolition.
• In 1998 a DNA analysis of evidence from descendants of Eston Hemings and descendants of Jefferson’s uncle Field Jefferson, found a match indicating that a male member of Jefferson’s family was the father of Eston Hemings.
• “By 1814 when the British burned the nation’s Capitol and the Library of Congress, Jefferson had acquired the largest personal collection of books in the United States. Jefferson offered to sell his library to Congress as a replacement for the collection destroyed by the British during the War of 1812. Congress purchased Jefferson’s library for $23,950 in 1815. A second fire on Christmas Eve of 1851, destroyed nearly two thirds of the 6,487 volumes Congress had purchased from Jefferson.”

Thomas Jefferson’s Steps to Success

• Had a solid education.
• Great orator and prolific writer who drafted many important documents including the Declaration of Independence.
• Held many positions which prepared him for the US presidency.
• Investigated every branch of science, from botany to biology, meteorology, archaeology, astronomy, chemistry, geology, mathematics, paleontology, and ethnology. This helped him to appreciate technological innovations and inventions.
• Dedicated himself to improving education in Virginia, advocating a statewide system based on a proposal that he had initiated many years earlier.
• Worked to create the University of Virginia, which was finally chartered in 1819, and opened in 1825. Jefferson helped to define the university.
• Designed the curriculum at the new University of Virginia (1819) to revolve around a core of natural philosophy (science), including physics, engineering, and mineralogy, when most American colleges still focused exclusively on the liberal arts and divinity.

Why Thomas Jefferson’s Contribution Matters

• He was the third president of the US.
• Drafted the Declaration of Independence.
• Initiated measures for establishing a decimal system for a standard coinage, and a system of weights and measures.
• Instrumental in developing a system for granting patents.

Lessons from Thomas Jefferson

• Developed a solid foundation which he built on.
• Used the skills he was good at to become successful.
• Free thinker, which allowed him to deviate when he was designing the curriculum for the University of Virginia.

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Further Reading/Viewing

President Thomas Jefferson Biography

Cannot view this video, click here. Uploaded by TheUsPresidents on Aug 15, 2011

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Works Cited/Referenced

Complete Dictionary of Scientific Biography

UXL Encyclopedia of World Biography

Science and Its Times, Volume 4

West’s Encyclopedia of American Law

Encyclopedia of Science, Technology and Ethics

Encyclopedia of the New American Nation

International Encyclopedia of the Social Sciences

10 Great Ideas from Little Women

1. Money and possessions do not equate to happiness.
2. Count your blessings and be grateful for what you have in life.
3. Conceit spoils the finest genius.
4. Don’t let the sun go down upon your anger; forgive each other, help each other, and begin again tomorrow.
5. When you’re feeling down, do something good for another.
6. Pursue your own path in life, not merely what society and others expect from you.
7. Teamwork allows you to get more done in less time.
8. Have a purpose in life because it will keep you moving forward. So dream big dreams and have a sense of where you are going in life.
9. Family is important – a family that plays together stays together.
10. Death is a fact of life.

Why Little Women by Louisa May Alcott Still Matters Today

Little Women is a story about a traditional family – father, mother and four daughters. All families, traditional and non-traditional, form a community, which teaches its members how to function in the broader community. Life is very busy today, and family members often do not have enough time to sit down together. Little Womenreminds us how important it is for family members to communicate with each other. The March family had dinner together, at which time they would talk about how their day went.

Cover of Little Women

Why Louisa May Alcott is qualified to write Little Women

Little Women is semi-autobiographical, and the character, Jo March is based on Louisa May Alcott’s life. Louisa May Alcott was the second daughter of the educator and transcendentalist Amos Bronson Alcott and Abba May Alcott. Jo March’s life was more idyllic than Alcott’s. Alcott was dominated by her father and she had to bear the financial burden of her sisters and mother.

Louisa May Alcott is best known for Little Women (1868) and the seven novels that followed in the “Little Women” series. Like in the novel, Alcott is the second of four girls, and all children were homeschooled by their father. He encouraged them to keep a journal, together they wrote a family newspaper and plays in which they performed. The four girls also learned how to sew and take care of the home. Alcott drew on her experiences, as well as those of her sisters Anna and Elizabeth, to write Little Women, which she wrote in two months. The book was so very well received that fans asked the publisher for more stories about the March sisters – Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy. Alcott never married, took care of her aged parents, as well as adopted her sister Anna’s son and was also legal guardian of her sister May’s daughter.

Alcott was exposed to great writers such as Henry David Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Nathaniel Hawthorne and Margaret Fuller – all were her mentors. As a child, she went on nature walks with Thoreau. And she borrowed books from Emerson, and wrote short stories for his children.

To get the most from this Little Woman SummaReview, after you have read it, answer the following questions:

1. Is this a book you’d like to read for yourself? Why? Why not?
2. What has made an impression on you while reading?
3. Which character is most like you?
4. Were there any kernels of wisdom in this reading?
5. What are five takeaways from the SummaReview?
6. What is one action that you can take as a result of reading this SummaReview?

The Novel, Little Women

While reading Little Women there were many times I felt like the book glorified poverty too much. However, the flawed characters balanced the story, and made them endearing because readers will find traits in one of the sisters that they can see in themselves. There is a lot of reference to The Pilgrim’s Progress, which I have never read, but research uncovered this, “In writing Little Women, Alcott alluded overtly in numerous instances to John Bunyan’s The Pilgrim’s Progress (published in two parts in 1678 and 1684), a Christian allegory that was among her father Bronson Alcott’s favorite stories and one of the most well-known texts of the nineteenth century.”

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott is divided into two parts. In Part I the “little women” are growing up and in Part II they are adults. The story is set during the American Civil War and when it starts, Mr March is away at the war and funds are limited. It’s just before Christmas and the girls are lamenting about not having a lot of money to spend on Christmas presents. From the outset the reader gets insights into the personalities of Margaret (Meg) aged 16, Josephine (Jo) aged 15, Elizabeth (Beth) aged 13, and Amy aged 12.

On Christmas Day each of the four girls receives a book, different colours as a gift from Marmee (Mrs March). It’s not quite clear if the books are journals or copies of The Pilgrim’s Progress. The girls are taught to be selfless by their parents, and on Christmas Day their mother asks them to sacrifice their breakfast so that it be given to a family in need. Later, they perform The Witch’s Curse, an Operatic Tragedy. The girls get a welcome surprise when their wealthy neighbour, Mr Laurence gives them ice cream, cake and fruit, and French bonbons.

A neighbour, Mrs. Gardiner, invites Meg and Jo to her house for a New Year’s Eve party. The girls do not have new clothes so they have to make do with what they have. While curling Meg’s hair, Jo accidentally burns the ends. At the party, they meet Laurie, Mr Laurence’s grandson. Jo and Laurie hang out at the party and it’s the beginning of a long friendship. Laurie is an orphan who now lives with his grandfather.

We learn that Mr March lost his property while trying to help an unfortunate friend resulting in his two eldest daughters having to work. Meg works as a governess teaching small children and Jo acts as a companion to her elderly Aunt March. Meg takes Amy under her wings while Jo does the same for Beth, and both pairs of sisters develop a strong bond. The March family is a closely knit one and they take time each evening to check in with each other to see how their day went.

Because of this kind of relationship, Jo feels sorry for Laurie who is always by himself and leads a very sheltered life. She marches over to his home and at the time, he was ill, so she reads to him and visits for hours. Laurie is welcome into the March family and they do a lot of things together. It’s not always smooth sailing and the girls are not angels. Amy burns a book that Jo is working on because her sister refuses to let her attend The Seven Castles of the Diamond Lake. A rift develops between the sisters and Jo refuses to forgive Amy. It takes a near tragic event for Jo to forgive her sister. Marmee talks to them about their hot tempers and Jo promises to work on taming hers.

The “little women” in Alcott’s book choose their destinies. When they are young Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy describe what they dream for themselves as adults when they describe their castles in the air. Meg chooses marriage, children and a lovely home; Beth describes a life at home with her parents, taking care of the family; Amy chooses to be “go to Rome, do fine pictures be the best artist in the whole world” (151 -152); and Jo exclaims, “I’d have a stable full of Arabian steeds, rooms piled with books, and I’d write out of a magic inkstand, so that my works should be as famous as Laurie’s music” (152). Laurie describes a life of travel, “After I’d seen as much of the world as I want to, I’d like to settle in Germany and have just as much music as I choose. I’m to be a famous musician myself, and all creation is to rush to hear me; and I’m never to be bothered about money or business,  but just enjoy myself and live for what I like.”

Meg is invited by the Moffats, a wealthy family, to spend a fortnight with them. For a short time, Meg forgets about who she is and what her values are when she allows the Moffat to dress her up for a ball and be on display. But this is very human because most of us want to have beautiful things, and we want to be admired.

At one point, the March girls decide they want to be lazy so they take a week off and the house is in disarray. They quickly learn that for things to go smoothly they have to be consistent.  The girls are very inventive and know how to keep themselves occupied. They have the Pickwick Club, a literary club, and the Busy Bee Society, which they allow Laurie to join.

When the family receives news that their father is seriously ill, Jo cuts off her hair for $25 to help offset the cost for her mother to travel to nurse her husband back to health. While the mother is away the girls are not as selfless as they are taught to be, except for Beth who is the only one who visits the Hummels a family in need. She discovers that the baby is quite ill, and babysits to give an older sister respite from the task. The baby dies and the doctor diagnoses that it’s from scarlet fever. Beth contracts the disease, which almost kills her. Though she recovers, the illness weakens her system and a few years later she would succumb to it.

When the girls grow up, Meg marries Laurie’s tutor, Mr Brooke, and has twins. She quickly learns that married life is not as idyllic and peaceful as she imagined – it’s filled with many ups and downs and couples have to work hard at the relationship. Jo is published and uses her $100 to send her mom and Beth to the seaside. They hope that Beth will regain her strength.

Laurie is in love with Jo who rejects him. Laurie is shattered and travels to Europe with his grandfather. He becomes lazy and forgets his dreams, living a life of an idle rich man. Amy gets the opportunity to travel across Europe and she learns that she doesn’t have what it takes to be a successful artist. Laurie visits Amy in Europe and she observes his laziness and calls him on it. She is very critical of him, and friends are supposed to say something when you are not behaving appropriately. You see a friendship blossoming into love and Laurie transfers the kind of love he has for Jo to Amy and vice versa.

It’s heartrending for the reader when they learn that Beth is dying, though she is at peace with it. Her father prepares her for death and Beth asks Jo to always take care of the family. Jo is devastated by Beth’s death and her parents try to comfort her. Her mother suggests that she starts writing again. Jo eventually finds love and still takes care of the family. Aunt March dies and leaves Plumfield, her home, to Jo who transforms it into a home where she and her husband, the Professor Bhaer teach boys – both rich and poor – so they grow up in a loving and caring environment.  Little Women by Louisa May Alcott is a coming of age story, and although it was written close to 150 years ago, many of its lessons are timeless. Little Women changed me, and made me question some of the choices I have made in life.

I recommend Little Women by Louisa May Alcott because it’s a book that will touch your heart. In addition, it was a groundbreaking book at the time because the girls grew up and pursued their own paths in life, not merely what society expected of them. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Book links are affiliate links.

Further Reading

Henry David Thoreau

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Essayist, Poet and Lecturer

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Review – The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Amos Bronson Alcott

Little Women

Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott – Radio Show

Little Women (1933) – Trailer, Click here to view video. Uploaded by TheMovieSceneUK on Nov 22, 2010

Having mentors is an excellent way to accelerate your career, but in their absence, invisible mentors are great substitutes. However, you have to know exactly what you are trying to get from mentors, you have to know what you are trying to achieve in life, and then you have to practice reflective self-mentoring to get to where you need to be. Here is a short video I found on YouTube that talks about reflective self-mentoring.

Saundra McGuire on Self-Mentoring

Cannot view this video, click here. Uploaded by DowChemicalCompany on Mar 10, 2011

 I have mentioned several of the following resources before, but this time, think about how they can help you to achieve what you would like to in life. Approach them as self-mentoring resources.

Open Culture: If you have to take a course to get up to speed on a topic, start here to see if you can find what you need. Over 400 courses from top universities are offered for free. If you find a course that’s right for you, pace yourself while learning, whether it is once a week you allocate time to learn, three times a week, or whatever. Learn at a realistic pace that allows you to complete the entire course.

The Great Courses: You can find a variety of courses on DVD to buy that are led by professors who are knowledgeable about the subject matter. The courses often go on sale, so if you find a course that is just what you are looking for, if it’s not on sale wait, and keep on checking the website because it will likely go on sale.

How Stuff Work: Here is another great place to start when you have to master any topic of interest.

Project Gutenberg: If you are looking for an education in the literary classics, download a copy of the book here, which you can use with Open Culture or The Great Courses.

Research Tools: YouTube, Scribd, SlideShare, TED, and Questia are research tools that you might not have considered.

Mentor Yourself With Blogs

There are many great blogs out there where the bloggers take great pains when writing their blog posts. If you want to learn about How to Write Headlines That Work or SEO Copywriting, Copyblogger is the resource for you. If you’re looking for tips about blogging then Problogger is your destination. If you are looking to find the top blogs, Alltop and Technorati are great places to start. To learn about content marketing Web Ink Now is a good source.

With the internet, the world is truly your oyster so use it effectively to self-mentor. In addition, remember to use The Invisible Mentor as another great resource. If you are intentional about reaping the benefits of mentors, even in the absence of having traditional mentors, you can succeed by practicing reflective self-mentoring. Below are six videos that will help to direct your self-mentoring journey.

How to be the Star of Your Life Videos

Best Self, Pt. 1: Take the Lead

Cannot view this video, click here. Published on Apr 7, 2012 by beautyvlogcast

Best Self, Pt. 2: Own it!

Cannot view this video, click here.

Best Self, Pt. 3: Leave the Comfort Zone

Cannot view this video, click here.

Best Self, Pt. 4: Persistence

Cannot view this video, click here.

Best Self, Pt. 5: Passion

Cannot view this video, click here.

Best Self, Pt. 6: Find Yourself

Cannot view this video, click here.

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Book links are affiliate links.

Related articles

• Self-Mentoring – an Idea for the Twenty-First Century (theinvisiblementor.com)
• How to Self-Mentor (theinvisiblementor.com)

This is what we talked about on The Invisible Mentor Blog this week: JM Barrie’s Peter Pan, and Frederick (Fritz) Perls, Founder of Gestalt Therapy.

Adventures in Learning

Have you ever read an intriguing article and wondered how the writer came up with the idea? Have you ever read a book that connects two very different subject matters in a unique way? Have you ever transported one idea from one industry to another to resolve a pesky challenge? Have you ever read something that was so incredulous or even whimsical that it gave you the courage to try to do something that once seemed impossible? Reading broadly introduces diverse types of information into your life. It helps you to become bolder in your work and life.

Why You Must Read Broadly – Tip 4 

Sepia photograph of James Matthew Barrie (1860-1937), author of "Peter Pan" (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Booked for Mentoring

The children’s drama Peter Pan by James Matthew Barrie (1860-1937) was first presented on the London stage in 1904, and then in the form of a novel in 1911. Sir James Matthew Barrie got his inspiration to write Peter Pan from five little boys – Nico, Jack, Peter, George, and Michael – of the Llewelyn Davies family.

Book Review – Peter Pan by JM Barrie 

Recently, I read Little Women by Louisa May Alcott for the very first time, and I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster. I related so well to the character Jo March that it was uncanny. And I started to question some of the life choices I have made. A friend suggested that I read Wide Sargasso Sea, which is actually the prequel to Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. At the end of the book, my heart was heavy, and I felt this big hole inside of me. I remember thinking, “Such wasted lives.” Because of my response to Wide Sargasso Sea I have included it on my list of 10 books.

10 Books I Have Enjoyed in 2012 

Wisdom of Life Profile

Born in Berlin in the late nineteenth century into a middle class family, Frederick Salomon Perls was interested in theatre. Affectionately known to friends and colleagues as Fritz, Perls decided to study medicine when he enrolled into college in 1913. The First World War interrupted his study and he enlisted to serve until the war ended in 1918. Perls continued his studies immediately after the war, received his MD in 1921, and decided to focus on psychiatry.

Frederick (Fritz) Perls, Founder of Gestalt Therapy 

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Book links are affiliate links.