The Invisible Mentor » Mentor Yourself

Mentor Yourself – Interview With Invisible Mentor Deborah Nixon, President

Avil Beckford — Thu, 24 May 2012 09:30:35 +0000

10 Self-Mentoring Ideas from Deborah Nixon

Build a network of contacts who you can call on, and take the time to nurture those relationships.
Your relationship with people is absolutely everything.
Follow your passion. If you’re sensible about it, usually takes you to a really good place.
If you come from a place of integrity, honour and humility people respond to that.
Most of us can survive almost anything.
You have to read your market very well, and be willing to change and adjust your offering because you cannot convince the market. The market is what the market is, and you have to be open to letting go.
When we go into things, and we assume that what we’re trying to get out of something is what the other person wants to get out of it as well, we often do not check with the other person, we don’t question assumptions, and sometimes it’s wishful thinking because we want something so badly that we won’t look critically and won’t ask the tough questions.
If you have resiliency it gets you really far in life.
Integrity is all about what you do when nobody is looking.
Pay attention to where things are going and read widely.

Invisible Mentor: Deborah Nixon, President/Founder

Company Name: Trust Learning Solutions, MyMoneyMindset

Website: http://www.trustlearningsolutions.com

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Deborah Nixon: My area of specialization is working with leadership teams in organizations trying to build better relationships, conflict resolution, and actually to help them work more effectively together. I have another business which is quite interesting as well called My Money Mindset. I work with women helping them to look at psychological issues toward money.

Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?

Deborah Nixon: I don’t have a typical day. My life is driven by my clients. At some point in the day I will always be doing some writing. I will talk a lot to people – people are interested in talking about trust a lot and building relationships. And of course there is the other part of my life which of course is dealing with my 15 year old son and my lab. And so I try to structure my life around being a mother and doing my work.

Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

Deborah Nixon: I stay motivated because I feel the work I do is really important to people. I know it makes a difference. Everyday I speak to people about my work and research. People keep on telling me how important it is for organizations to work hard in building trust and integrity into their operations, and into the way they deal with people. That really motivates me a lot.

Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

Deborah Nixon: From a career perspective, if I started over from scratch, I would take a lot more risks and I would have followed my passion. I think what happened to us is that we get the messages about building careers, and climbing the corporate ladder. What I found in my career was people would often hit a wall at some point and they get to that inevitable midlife crisis, which sometimes comes earlier than midlife where they really question the meaning of what they are doing. I certainly did that along the way but looking back, I think the greatest satisfaction I got in my career was in my mid-thirties when I walked away from everything that I’d done before and started to do what was meaningful to me. I wish that I’d done that earlier and not be so worried about the implications. To follow your passion if you’re sensible about it, usually takes you to a really good place.

Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?

Deborah Nixon: I think my response aligns with my response to the previous question. It is about being true to who you are. You can’t fake it, and I believe that if you allow people to be the essence of who you really are, if you worried less about doing the “right” thing, and more about doing the right thing in the deepest sense of the world. If you come from a place of integrity, honour and humility people respond to that. You still may not get the sale or the deal but what you will have formed is a relationship built on respect and an enhanced reputation where people will remember you and somehow that pay-it-forward concept does come back to you.

Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

Deborah Nixon: I don’t know if they are threats, they are more like challenges. It’s how we interpret the situation, so I don’t see a lot of threats in my life because threat implies fear. The challenge in my work – the trust piece is important and people acknowledge how important it is – is that senior leadership often doesn’t want to do anything about it. The challenge is how to approach helping people to learn about building their reputation and integrity and trust with others and the organization without being afraid that it will expose them. I think most people work in trust, deep down they don’t believe they are trustworthy and are terrified that people will discover that. And that’s actually never the case, so the biggest challenge is to work around that. The way I deal with it is to not come into this topic in a direct way that unmasks anything. You have to create safe spaces for people to discover what they are about, so that’s my biggest challenge and it’s a big one.

Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?

Deborah Nixon: A lot of people say that they work in the trust space and employee engagement, but I think what’s unique is that I have a PhD in Trust from the University of Toronto, so I have spent 15 years researching and practicing in the area. My depth of knowledge is above a lot of other people in the area. One of the unique things I do is that I work both at the behaviour and attitude level so people will say to me, “Tell me about trust,” and I’ll come in and work with your teams about how to speak better to one another, how to respond to the elephant in the room issue, but I helped people to practice their skill, so they get an awareness by the time they leave the workshop, they know what their next step is and how to do it.

Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?

Deborah Nixon: My husband died 12 years ago when my son was two, and that was probably my biggest challenge because he was young – he was 37. My dad had died the year before, my mom was not alive. My husband had a business, I was at home with our son, and I was in the middle of my PhD. The biggest challenge that many of us face, just like in a divorce, your outlook is a bit soured and it’s a scary place to be because you have to rebuild life from the ground up. It’s not a question of resolution, but one of growth. I was terrified at the prospect of my husband dying and I was petrified and thought the world would end. How would I get up the next day? How would I manage? The really big lesson in that is the power of spirit and the incredible ability of people to not only survive from a tragedy but also to thrive, and I learned that it is truly possible. I know that most of us can survive almost anything.

Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

Deborah Nixon: I don’t think I got a big break, nobody gave one to me. I’d learn from the hard knocks school. I got to where I am through persistence, resilience and really hard work. Every time I began a business it really was from the ground up, from my conceptual plan and vision. It was about working incredibly hard, getting out and networking, and building the case for what I had. I didn’t have a mentor, and I didn’t have anybody hand me a break. It would have been nice to have.

Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

Deborah Nixon: I think my biggest failure came when I got my PhD and I developed two assessment tools in partnership with another company. I would say that conceptually the two tools were great, but they were a dud in the market. I think what I learned from it is that when you start a business, you have a project that is your baby. What I learned is that you have to let go of your personal connections to your concepts, ideas and to your business because it will take you to the edge of the cliff and over. Because I believed so much in my vision and my product, I think I was blind to what the market was telling me that there was no space in the market for the product as it was conceived. I thought if I worked harder I would convince people. What I’ve learned is that you have to read your market very well, and be willing to change and adjust your offering because you cannot convince the market. The market is what the market is and you have to be open to letting go.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

Deborah Nixon: One of the toughest decisions I had to make was separate from my last business partner. It was tough because I had so much invested in the product and into that relationship so it was both personal and professional. It was very hard and stressful during that period, and it became very personal so it impacted me in that I thought we shared the vision. It was a great disappointment to me. It also impacted me positively in that it made me realize that we all have expectations when we go into things and we assume that what we’re trying to get out of something is what the other person wants to get out of it as well, and that we often do not check with the other person, we don’t question assumptions, and sometimes it’s wishful thinking because we want something so badly that we won’t look critically and won’t ask the tough questions. The experience made me a lot more realistic going into new ventures. Right upfront I will ask the difficult questions even if I don’t think I will like the answer I will still ask because we need to know.

Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

Deborah Nixon:

My husband’s death.
My son’s birth.
Getting my PhD.

Those were all life-changing events – two really positive and one very tragic but they shaped who I am today. They were very seminal events for me.

Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

Deborah Nixon: It’s my son who is 15, I knew the risks of raising him on my own when he was two years old. A boy being raised in a single parent household with a mother at the helm is at risk in our society and he has turned out to be an unbelievable, incredible young man. I’m very proud of him.

Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?

Deborah Nixon: I really believe in mentoring, but I’m not sure I had mentors. And that’s why I try to mentor a lot of young women. I have people I admire and I have people who I ask their opinions. I did have people to turn to who guided me.

Avil Beckford: An invisible mentor is a unique leader you can learn things from by observing them from afar, in the capacity of an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

Deborah Nixon: The most critical thing that I’ve learned is that your relationship with people is absolutely everything. When I was in executive search, I used to say to people, “I do not screen for your technical abilities, I really have very little interest in asking you about your greatest accomplishments.” I’m assuming that if you’re a director at a prestigious company, that you have competence. I’ve learned that it’s more important to focus on the people side of things.

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Book links are affiliate links.

Share and Enjoy:

Profile of Wisdom: Thomas Jefferson, Philosopher, Statesman and Third President

Avil Beckford — Wed, 23 May 2012 09:30:01 +0000

A lawyer by profession, Thomas Jefferson drafted the American Declaration of Independence. His biggest fait accompli was skilfully negotiating with France to purchase the state of Louisiana in 1803, which nearly doubled the size of the United States. Jefferson was also an inventor, and he is credited with helping to define the duties and regulations of the United States Patent Office.

Portrait of Thomas Jefferson by Rembrandt Peale in 1800. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Name: Thomas Jefferson

Birth Date: April 1743 – July 1826

Job Functions: President, Lawyer, Inventor

Fields: Politics and Law

Known For: Drafting the Declaration of Independence and Third President of the United States.

Thomas Jefferson, first secretary of state, the second vice-president, and the third president of the United States was born in Shadwell, Virginia in 1743. His early schooling included: Latin, Greek, French, and mathematics, from the Reverend William Douglas, and later from the Reverend James Maury. In March 1760, when Jefferson was 17 years old, he entered the school of philosophy at the College of William and Mary where he continued his studies in mathematics and other sciences.

In 1762, Jefferson left the College of William and Mary to study law at Wythe’s law office at Williamsburg for the next five years. Jefferson was admitted to the bar in 1767 and established a successful law practice.

Jefferson’s public career started in 1769, serving as a representative in the Virginia House of Burgesses, America’s first elected body of government, while he was still practicing law. The American Revolution which took place from 1775 to 1783 forced him to abandon his practice in 1774. An eloquent spokesman, in 1774, Jefferson argued that Americans had the natural rights to govern themselves in the famed document, A Summary View of the Rights of British America. His political thought underpinned the movement toward American freedoms.

After the American Revolution started in June 1775, Jefferson took his seat in the second Continental Congress in Philadelphia, which brought together the country’s leading political figures of the day. As a legal writer, and legislative draftsman, Congress named him to a committee with John Adams and Benjamin Franklin, Robert R. Livingston, and Roger Sherman to draft a declaration of independence. His colleagues on the committee tasked Jefferson with preparing the paper. Though John Adams, Benjamin Franklin made slight changes, Congress deleted an entire section that denounced the slave trade and blamed the King of England for continuing it. Many members of congress owned and traded slaves. The Declaration of Independence was signed on July 4, 1776, and it is essentially Jefferson’s.

The Declaration of Independence outlined the arguments justifying the position of the American Revolutionaries and also affirmed the rights of the colonists to dissolve the “political bands” with the British government. A key sentence from the document, which is often quoted:

“We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.”

In June 1779, Jefferson became the Governor of Virginia as the Revolutionary War entered a new phase when the British decided to attack the South. Early 1781, the British invaded Virginia, and Jefferson was criticized and blamed for the state’s lack of resistance, so he quit public service. Not having access to his farm and books, and the death of his wife in September 1782 had plunged him into deep despair. November of that year, Congress appointed him to a peace commission in Paris, but he ended up in Congress instead.

From November 1783 to May 1784, Jefferson drafted the first regulation of government for the western territory to create free and equal states out of the wilderness. He was also instrumental in creating foreign policy. Trade was important to America, and in 1784, Jefferson was appointed to a three-man commission along with John Adams and Benjamin Franklin to negotiate trade treaties with European countries. When Franklin retired, Jefferson replaced him as a representative to France, where he spent the next five years in Europe.

While Jefferson was minister to France, he consulted with European scientists on new inventions, and he also “observed the state of the sciences and new advances in technology, noting agricultural and mechanical innovations and labor-saving devices, all of which he reported to correspondents in America and a number of which he adapted for his own use at Monticello…. He reported to James Madison the new “phosphoretic matches,” the invention of the Argand lamp, and various applications of steam power that had come to his attention. He envisaged steam not as the means to achieve an industrial revolution but rather as a supplementary source of power…. The type of plough used by French peasants led Jefferson to design an improved moldboard, which he subsequently had constructed and tested successfully at Monticello.”

Jefferson also acted as mentor to French politicians Marquis de Lafayette, and Victor de Riquetti, marquis de Mirabeau. And in 1789, he was an informal adviser to the drafting of the French Declaration of the Rights of Man.

When Jefferson returned to the United States in 1789, President George Washington appointed him secretary of state, a position in which most of the times in the next three years he unsuccessfully negotiated with European powers. During his time as secretary of state, Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton, the secretary of the treasury became involved in a conflict. Hamilton was a Federalist, who favoured the interests of business, and the upper class, while Jefferson favoured agricultural interests. Hamilton emerged the winner in the conflict and Jefferson and his party formed a group known as the Republicans, which evolved into today’s Democratic Party. The dispute between Hamilton and Jefferson was the Bank of the United States, which Hamilton approved of, but Jefferson felt was unconstitutional.

Jefferson gave up his secretary of state position at the end of 1793 and once again quit public life, but in 1796 the Republicans made him their presidential candidate against John Adams. Adams won by a small margin and became President of the United States and Jefferson Vice President. The Republicans doubled their efforts in the next presidential campaign in 1800, which was an extremely bitter one. Jefferson and Aaron Burr ended in a tie, and Alexander Hamilton who despised Burr more than he did Jefferson, lobbied the Federalists in the House to elect Jefferson. Jefferson became the third president of the United States on March 4, 1801 in the new national capital, Washington D.C. When Jefferson was sworn in, he appealed for harmony among all political parties.

Jefferson worked with congress to restore freedom of the press, scaled down the army and navy, ended all internal taxation, and began paying off the national debt. He reformed the economic plans of government by reducing their means of power, and sought to further peace, individual freedoms and to help to solidify the American way of life.

He had many shining moments in his life, but Jefferson’s greatest triumph came in foreign affairs when he successfully negotiated the purchase of Louisiana from France in 1803 for approximately $15 million, nearly doubling the size of the United States. Jefferson was easily re-elected in 1804, but soon encountered trouble both at home and abroad. There was disharmony within the Republican Party and Jefferson had to fight hard to maintain control of Congress.

Jefferson encountered problems of attacks on independent US ships by England and France, which were engaged in war. Tension between American and France reached boiling point, and Jefferson avoided war when Congress passed the Nonimportation Act of 1806, forbidding the importation of British goods, and the Embargo Act in December 1807. The embargo met with some success but was extremely expensive and detrimental to the US trade. Near to the end of Jefferson’s second term as president, Congress reversed the embargo. At the end of his term, Jefferson retired to his estate, Monticello.

Jefferson served as the president of the American Philosophical Society from 1797 to 1815. During his retirement, he corresponded with many, and repaired his relationship with John Adams. He also helped to found the University of Virginia in 1819. He died at Monticello, 50 years after the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and a few hours before John Adams. Months before his death, Jefferson wrote his epitaph, which read:

“Author of the Declaration of Independence and of the Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom, and Father of the University of Virginia.”

Tidbits About Thomas Jefferson

From 1790-93, Thomas Jefferson served as examiner of patents. He is credited with helping to define the duties and regulations of the U.S. Patent Office. He refused to patent his inventions because he believed that the availability of patents and free sharing on knowledge would spur inventions, and also create prosperity for all.
Throughout his life, Jefferson conducted scientific studies and collected data:

Studied new methods for determining the heights of mountains, tested atmospheric moisture with a hygrometer, and used double-refraction optical instruments to measure small angles, eclipses, lunar movement, and Earth’s longitude.
Recorded the appearance of many plants, animals, and birds on his Monticello estate and wherever his travels took him.
Kept weather data all his life and shared it with other meteorological observers around the country.

Invented a swivel chair, a writing desk that could be placed on one’s lap, a walking cane that converted to a chair, and a copying machine that duplicated letters as they were being written.
Supported other inventions, including the hot-air balloon, dry docks for ships, the submarine, fireproofing for houses, telescopes, the camera obscura, carriage odometers, and personal pedometers.
While Jefferson was president he conducted botanical expeditions around the Washington, DC, area and distributed European seeds to the local vegetable markets.
Though he declared that he was a friend of Native Americans, Jefferson ran them off their land as fast as any president before or since. He wrote about the evils of African American slavery, but did nothing effectual to limit its growth after 1800, let alone to begin its abolition.
In 1998 a DNA analysis of evidence from descendants of Eston Hemings and descendants of Jefferson’s uncle Field Jefferson, found a match indicating that a male member of Jefferson’s family was the father of Eston Hemings.
“By 1814 when the British burned the nation’s Capitol and the Library of Congress, Jefferson had acquired the largest personal collection of books in the United States. Jefferson offered to sell his library to Congress as a replacement for the collection destroyed by the British during the War of 1812. Congress purchased Jefferson’s library for $23,950 in 1815. A second fire on Christmas Eve of 1851, destroyed nearly two thirds of the 6,487 volumes Congress had purchased from Jefferson.”

Thomas Jefferson’s Steps to Success

Had a solid education.
Great orator and prolific writer who drafted many important documents including the Declaration of Independence.
Held many positions which prepared him for the US presidency.
Investigated every branch of science, from botany to biology, meteorology, archaeology, astronomy, chemistry, geology, mathematics, paleontology, and ethnology. This helped him to appreciate technological innovations and inventions.
Dedicated himself to improving education in Virginia, advocating a statewide system based on a proposal that he had initiated many years earlier.
Worked to create the University of Virginia, which was finally chartered in 1819, and opened in 1825. Jefferson helped to define the university.
Designed the curriculum at the new University of Virginia (1819) to revolve around a core of natural philosophy (science), including physics, engineering, and mineralogy, when most American colleges still focused exclusively on the liberal arts and divinity.

Why Thomas Jefferson’s Contribution Matters

He was the third president of the US.
Drafted the Declaration of Independence.
Initiated measures for establishing a decimal system for a standard coinage, and a system of weights and measures.
Instrumental in developing a system for granting patents.

Lessons from Thomas Jefferson

Developed a solid foundation which he built on.
Used the skills he was good at to become successful.
Free thinker, which allowed him to deviate when he was designing the curriculum for the University of Virginia.

Further Reading/Viewing

President Thomas Jefferson Biography

Cannot view this video, click here. Uploaded by TheUsPresidents on Aug 15, 2011

Book links are affiliate links.

Works Cited/Referenced

Complete Dictionary of Scientific Biography

UXL Encyclopedia of World Biography

Science and Its Times, Volume 4

West’s Encyclopedia of American Law

Encyclopedia of Science, Technology and Ethics

Encyclopedia of the New American Nation

International Encyclopedia of the Social Sciences

Share and Enjoy:

10 Great Ideas from Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Avil Beckford — Tue, 22 May 2012 11:45:15 +0000

10 Great Ideas from Little Women

Money and possessions do not equate to happiness.
Count your blessings and be grateful for what you have in life.
Conceit spoils the finest genius.
Don’t let the sun go down upon your anger; forgive each other, help each other, and begin again tomorrow.
When you’re feeling down, do something good for another.
Pursue your own path in life, not merely what society and others expect from you.
Teamwork allows you to get more done in less time.
Have a purpose in life because it will keep you moving forward. So dream big dreams and have a sense of where you are going in life.
Family is important – a family that plays together stays together.
Death is a fact of life.

Why Little Women by Louisa May Alcott Still Matters Today

Little Women is a story about a traditional family – father, mother and four daughters. All families, traditional and non-traditional, form a community, which teaches its members how to function in the broader community. Life is very busy today, and family members often do not have enough time to sit down together. Little Womenreminds us how important it is for family members to communicate with each other. The March family had dinner together, at which time they would talk about how their day went.

Cover of Little Women

Why Louisa May Alcott is qualified to write Little Women

Little Women is semi-autobiographical, and the character, Jo March is based on Louisa May Alcott’s life. Louisa May Alcott was the second daughter of the educator and transcendentalist Amos Bronson Alcott and Abba May Alcott. Jo March’s life was more idyllic than Alcott’s. Alcott was dominated by her father and she had to bear the financial burden of her sisters and mother.

Louisa May Alcott is best known for Little Women (1868) and the seven novels that followed in the “Little Women” series. Like in the novel, Alcott is the second of four girls, and all children were homeschooled by their father. He encouraged them to keep a journal, together they wrote a family newspaper and plays in which they performed. The four girls also learned how to sew and take care of the home. Alcott drew on her experiences, as well as those of her sisters Anna and Elizabeth, to write Little Women, which she wrote in two months. The book was so very well received that fans asked the publisher for more stories about the March sisters – Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy. Alcott never married, took care of her aged parents, as well as adopted her sister Anna’s son and was also legal guardian of her sister May’s daughter.

Alcott was exposed to great writers such as Henry David Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Nathaniel Hawthorne and Margaret Fuller – all were her mentors. As a child, she went on nature walks with Thoreau. And she borrowed books from Emerson, and wrote short stories for his children.

To get the most from this Little Woman SummaReview, after you have read it, answer the following questions:

Is this a book you’d like to read for yourself? Why? Why not?
What has made an impression on you while reading?
Which character is most like you?
Were there any kernels of wisdom in this reading?
What are five takeaways from the SummaReview?
What is one action that you can take as a result of reading this SummaReview?

The Novel, Little Women

While reading Little Women there were many times I felt like the book glorified poverty too much. However, the flawed characters balanced the story, and made them endearing because readers will find traits in one of the sisters that they can see in themselves. There is a lot of reference to The Pilgrim’s Progress, which I have never read, but research uncovered this, “In writing Little Women, Alcott alluded overtly in numerous instances to John Bunyan’s The Pilgrim’s Progress (published in two parts in 1678 and 1684), a Christian allegory that was among her father Bronson Alcott’s favorite stories and one of the most well-known texts of the nineteenth century.”

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott is divided into two parts. In Part I the “little women” are growing up and in Part II they are adults. The story is set during the American Civil War and when it starts, Mr March is away at the war and funds are limited. It’s just before Christmas and the girls are lamenting about not having a lot of money to spend on Christmas presents. From the outset the reader gets insights into the personalities of Margaret (Meg) aged 16, Josephine (Jo) aged 15, Elizabeth (Beth) aged 13, and Amy aged 12.

On Christmas Day each of the four girls receives a book, different colours as a gift from Marmee (Mrs March). It’s not quite clear if the books are journals or copies of The Pilgrim’s Progress. The girls are taught to be selfless by their parents, and on Christmas Day their mother asks them to sacrifice their breakfast so that it be given to a family in need. Later, they perform The Witch’s Curse, an Operatic Tragedy. The girls get a welcome surprise when their wealthy neighbour, Mr Laurence gives them ice cream, cake and fruit, and French bonbons.

A neighbour, Mrs. Gardiner, invites Meg and Jo to her house for a New Year’s Eve party. The girls do not have new clothes so they have to make do with what they have. While curling Meg’s hair, Jo accidentally burns the ends. At the party, they meet Laurie, Mr Laurence’s grandson. Jo and Laurie hang out at the party and it’s the beginning of a long friendship. Laurie is an orphan who now lives with his grandfather.

We learn that Mr March lost his property while trying to help an unfortunate friend resulting in his two eldest daughters having to work. Meg works as a governess teaching small children and Jo acts as a companion to her elderly Aunt March. Meg takes Amy under her wings while Jo does the same for Beth, and both pairs of sisters develop a strong bond. The March family is a closely knit one and they take time each evening to check in with each other to see how their day went.

Because of this kind of relationship, Jo feels sorry for Laurie who is always by himself and leads a very sheltered life. She marches over to his home and at the time, he was ill, so she reads to him and visits for hours. Laurie is welcome into the March family and they do a lot of things together. It’s not always smooth sailing and the girls are not angels. Amy burns a book that Jo is working on because her sister refuses to let her attend The Seven Castles of the Diamond Lake. A rift develops between the sisters and Jo refuses to forgive Amy. It takes a near tragic event for Jo to forgive her sister. Marmee talks to them about their hot tempers and Jo promises to work on taming hers.

The “little women” in Alcott’s book choose their destinies. When they are young Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy describe what they dream for themselves as adults when they describe their castles in the air. Meg chooses marriage, children and a lovely home; Beth describes a life at home with her parents, taking care of the family; Amy chooses to be “go to Rome, do fine pictures be the best artist in the whole world” (151 -152); and Jo exclaims, “I’d have a stable full of Arabian steeds, rooms piled with books, and I’d write out of a magic inkstand, so that my works should be as famous as Laurie’s music” (152). Laurie describes a life of travel, “After I’d seen as much of the world as I want to, I’d like to settle in Germany and have just as much music as I choose. I’m to be a famous musician myself, and all creation is to rush to hear me; and I’m never to be bothered about money or business, but just enjoy myself and live for what I like.”

Meg is invited by the Moffats, a wealthy family, to spend a fortnight with them. For a short time, Meg forgets about who she is and what her values are when she allows the Moffat to dress her up for a ball and be on display. But this is very human because most of us want to have beautiful things, and we want to be admired.

At one point, the March girls decide they want to be lazy so they take a week off and the house is in disarray. They quickly learn that for things to go smoothly they have to be consistent. The girls are very inventive and know how to keep themselves occupied. They have the Pickwick Club, a literary club, and the Busy Bee Society, which they allow Laurie to join.

When the family receives news that their father is seriously ill, Jo cuts off her hair for $25 to help offset the cost for her mother to travel to nurse her husband back to health. While the mother is away the girls are not as selfless as they are taught to be, except for Beth who is the only one who visits the Hummels a family in need. She discovers that the baby is quite ill, and babysits to give an older sister respite from the task. The baby dies and the doctor diagnoses that it’s from scarlet fever. Beth contracts the disease, which almost kills her. Though she recovers, the illness weakens her system and a few years later she would succumb to it.

When the girls grow up, Meg marries Laurie’s tutor, Mr Brooke, and has twins. She quickly learns that married life is not as idyllic and peaceful as she imagined – it’s filled with many ups and downs and couples have to work hard at the relationship. Jo is published and uses her $100 to send her mom and Beth to the seaside. They hope that Beth will regain her strength.

Laurie is in love with Jo who rejects him. Laurie is shattered and travels to Europe with his grandfather. He becomes lazy and forgets his dreams, living a life of an idle rich man. Amy gets the opportunity to travel across Europe and she learns that she doesn’t have what it takes to be a successful artist. Laurie visits Amy in Europe and she observes his laziness and calls him on it. She is very critical of him, and friends are supposed to say something when you are not behaving appropriately. You see a friendship blossoming into love and Laurie transfers the kind of love he has for Jo to Amy and vice versa.

It’s heartrending for the reader when they learn that Beth is dying, though she is at peace with it. Her father prepares her for death and Beth asks Jo to always take care of the family. Jo is devastated by Beth’s death and her parents try to comfort her. Her mother suggests that she starts writing again. Jo eventually finds love and still takes care of the family. Aunt March dies and leaves Plumfield, her home, to Jo who transforms it into a home where she and her husband, the Professor Bhaer teach boys – both rich and poor – so they grow up in a loving and caring environment. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott is a coming of age story, and although it was written close to 150 years ago, many of its lessons are timeless. Little Women changed me, and made me question some of the choices I have made in life.

I recommend Little Women by Louisa May Alcott because it’s a book that will touch your heart. In addition, it was a groundbreaking book at the time because the girls grew up and pursued their own paths in life, not merely what society expected of them. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Book links are affiliate links.

Further Reading

Henry David Thoreau

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Essayist, Poet and Lecturer

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Review – The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Amos Bronson Alcott

Little Women

Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott – Radio Show

Little Women (1933) – Trailer, Click here to view video. Uploaded by TheMovieSceneUK on Nov 22, 2010

Share and Enjoy:

10 Books I Have Enjoyed in 2012

Avil Beckford — Fri, 18 May 2012 13:12:53 +0000

10 Books I Have Enjoyed in 2012 – My Book Reviews Included

I’m having better luck this time reading the literary classics, and I’m really enjoying the ones I have read. The funny thing is they are transforming me in a way that I never expected. When I wrote my book Tales of People Who Get It, I indicated that Key to Yourself by Venice Bloodworth, New Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz and The Magic of Thinking Big by Dr. David J. Schwartz profoundly impacted me. Five years later, my response would be very different. This shows me that I growing and evolving as a person, and I’m delighted that I’m not standing still.

Magic of Thinking Big Cover (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Recently, I read Little Women by Louisa May Alcott for the very first time, and I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster. I related so well to the character Jo March that it was uncanny. And I started to question some of the life choices I have made. A friend suggested that I read Wide Sargasso Sea, which is actually the prequel to Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. At the end of the book, my heart was heavy, and I felt this big hole inside of me. I remember thinking, “Such wasted lives.” Because of my response to Wide Sargasso Sea I have included it on my list of 10 books.

While reading Watership Down by Richard Adams, I felt it was a demonstration of true leadership and team building. When we respond that way to books, the authors have done their job. Here are a few of the books I have enjoyed in 2012, some of which have transformed my life.

Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
Watership Down: A Novel, Richard Adams
The Scarlet Pimpernel, Baroness Emmuska Orczy (Review)
The Count of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas (Review)
The Whip, Karen Kondazian (Review)
The Railway Children, E. Nesbit (Review)
Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Richard Bach (Review)
Pygmalion (Enriched Classics Series), George Bernard Shaw (Review)
The War of the Worlds (Dover Thrift Editions), H G Wells (Review)
Wide Sargasso Sea, Jean Rhys

I have not written the reviews for Little Women, Wide Sargasso Sea, or Watership Down: A Novel as yet. Which books have you read in 2012 that have impacted you?

Book links are affiliate links.

Share and Enjoy:

If You Could Meet Anyone, Dead or Alive, Who Would You Choose?

Avil Beckford — Thu, 17 May 2012 11:47:27 +0000

Mentor yourself today by learning about the five people that you’d most like to meet. What can you learn from them?

One of the questions that I ask in the invisible mentor interview is “If trusted friends could introduce you to five people (living or dead) that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?”

A lot of the times after interviewees have named the five people who they would want to meet, they comment that they wouldn’t ask any questions, instead, they would simply listen. The ability to listen is one of the skills that great leaders possess. Here are 20 people that interviewees have indicated that they’d like to meet. The people listed below attained incredible success, and have made a difference in the world. They are memorable, but what is it about them that pull others to them? What traits do they all have in common?

Cover of Margaret Thatcher

Dalai Lama
Nelson Mandela
Martin Luther King
Mahatma Gandhi
Mother Teresa
Winston Churchill
Albert Einstein
George Washington Carver
Anne Frank
Oprah Winfrey
Indra Nooyi
Stephen Colbert
Barack Obama
George Clooney
Margaret Thatcher
Martha Stewart
Donald Trump
Anthony Robbins
Queen Elizabeth I
Don Tapscott

Are there five people on this list that you’d like to meet? What would you say to them? If your list is very different, which five people would you choose? Why would you want to meet them? What do you hope to learn from them? Is there another way that you can get what you need? How would you go about it?

These are a lot of questions, but I am trying to get your creative juices flowing. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Book links are affiliate links.

Share and Enjoy:

Why You Must Read Broadly – Tip 4

Avil Beckford — Mon, 14 May 2012 11:33:09 +0000

Reading broadly introduces diversity into your life.

Have you ever read an intriguing article and wondered how the writer came up with the idea? Have you ever read a book that connects two very different subject matters in a unique way? Have you ever transported one idea from one industry to another to resolve a pesky challenge? Have you ever read something that was so incredulous or even whimsical that it gave you the courage to try to do something that once seemed impossible?

Reading broadly introduces diverse types of information into your life. It helps you to become bolder in your work and life.

A few months ago, I read the article, Cosmetics: High-tech Meets Emotion, and although it makes perfect sense that technology would play a role today in making cosmetics, it’s not something that I had ever given much thought to. The article is insightful and made me immediately think about making it a habit to read a variety of book genres. It reminded me to read articles on subjects that I usually do not pay attention to.

When I learned about Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Representative Men: Seven Lectures, I immediately thought that Emerson must have read broadly to be able to choose six men who he thought were great – he gave two lectures on Plato. His representative men include Plato, Swedenborg, Montaigne, Shakespeare, Napoleon and Goethe. Why did Emerson choose those six men? What was it about the six men that left such an impression on him that he considered them to be great? The six men were very different, how did Emerson first learn about them?

Several months later, I came across Superwomen by Albert Payson Terhune, which includes short profiles of 12 women: Lola Montez, Ninon De L’Enclos, Peg Woffington, Helen of Troy, Madame Jumel, Adrienne Lecouvreur, Cleopatra, George Sand (Amandine Lucile Aurore Dupin Dudevant), Madame du Barry, Lady Blessington, Madame Recamier, and Lady Hamilton. Why these 12 women? Once again, like Emerson, Terhune must have read broadly to be able to choose these 12 women.

Author Albert Payson Tehune (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And the people that Emerson and Terhune chose are very different, which suggests diversity in what they read. I plan to read both Representative Men: Seven Lectures and Superwomen. I also plan to continue to expand my reading menu, with the hope that some day, I too will be able to create a body of work that is diverse and innovative, which is a symbol of the depth and breadth of the books and materials that I read.

How about you? Are you willing to expand the type of books and materials you read? If you are in business, what would happen if each week you read a science article from Magatopia.com or Magportal.com?

Do you agree or disagree that reading introduces more diversity into your life? Why? Why not? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Book links are affiliate links.

Why You Must Read Broadly – Tip 2(theinvisiblementor.com)
Why You Must Read Broadly – Tip 3(theinvisiblementor.com)

Why You Must Read Broadly – Tip 1 (theinvisiblementor.com)

Share and Enjoy:

No related posts.

The Invisible Mentor Week in Review

Avil Beckford — Sat, 12 May 2012 09:30:41 +0000

This is what we talked about on The Invisible Mentor Blog this week: Edith Nesbit’s The Railway Children, Seneca the Younger, Stoic Philosopher, Playwright and Tutor to Nero, and Shannon Moroney, Author, Advocate and Speaker.

Seneca (Photo credit: tonynetone)

Adventures in Learning

What you read is more important that how much you read. Ensure that your reading material is diverse, and vary in the level of difficultly to read. The “menu” of books should include a selection of not just bestsellers, but also books that are off the beaten tracks. In fact, the great thinkers who have transformed the world did not read bestsellers.

Why You Must Read Broadly – Tip 3

Booked for Mentoring

Though The Railway Children is a children’s book, it’s a perfect demonstration of why a safety net is so important. In the story, you have a father who is taken away, and we learn he is arrested for being a spy, which is a false accusation. The loss of income of the primary breadwinner forces the family into poverty.

Mentor Yourself : Book Review – The Railway Children by E. Nesbit

Wisdom of Life Profile

Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger was born into a distinguished family of Italian origin in Cordova, Spain around 4 BC. Seneca’s father, known as Seneca Rhetor was an excellent orator and wrote about history and rhetoric. Seneca’s older brother was a proconsul of Achaea in AD 51 – 52, and was the Gallio before whose tribunal the Apostle Paul in the Bible was brought.

Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger, Stoic Philosopher, Playwright and Tutor to Nero

Interviews for Mentoring

This week we featured Shannon Moroney, Author, Advocate and Speaker. Moroney’s husband committed a sexual offence. She had make some tough decisions and rebuild her life after the trauma. Here are Part I and Part II of Shannon Moroney’s interview.

Book links are affiliate links.

Share and Enjoy:

Mentor Yourself: An Interview With Shannon Moroney, Author, Advocate & Speaker, Part II

Avil Beckford — Fri, 11 May 2012 11:29:07 +0000

Invisible Mentor: Shannon Moroney, Author, Advocate & Speaker

Website: http://www.shannonmoroney.com/

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Shannon Moroney: I’m the author of a book that just came out titled Through the Glass. It’s my memoir of a personal experience as a victim of crime but moreover of the spouse of an offender and the journey through the justice system. I’m based in Toronto, and I travel all over the place doing public speaking and putting some of my efforts into restorative justice.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Shannon Moroney: It’s a challenge! I think so much of my professional life is personal because it is about sharing my story. When I go to do a speaking engagement I always bring somebody with me who is just for me – my husband, my mom, my dad, a friend – and that brings everyone together so that I’m not alone with my experiences. When I go out and speak to a community group or work in a prison, somebody is there with me just to share it, and to debrief afterwards and that’s a really wonderful thing and I I’m lucky can do that.

Avil Beckford: When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Shannon Moroney: I spend it doing the things I want to do, and spend it with people who I love to be with. The work that I do is very emotional and involves a lot of output so I really have to focus my downtime on recharging my batteries. I love to cook. I like to do yoga. I can’t wait until I’m not pregnant so that I can really exercise again – that would be good. I try to do things that are a pleasure, relaxing. Definitely the most helpful and grounding activity for me, other than spending time with my loved ones is doing creative work, whether it’s painting or knitting or making a photo album, something that involves creativity is a really grounding force for me.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Shannon Moroney:

Know yourself. Act within your own values else you’ll be very uncomfortable.
Prioritize the people in your life over possessions and work.
The days sometimes go by slowly but the years go by quickly, and it’s good to embrace what you have every day because you don’t know how quickly it can change. I was grateful before this trauma happened I was somebody who was quite aware, and appreciated my life. When the life I knew suddenly came to an end, I knew that I hadn’t wasted any time before that happened.
Let people talk about you, sometimes you have to stand up for yourself, and other times you have to try not to take things personally, because most people when they criticize, they are coming from where they’re at in their own lives.
Be compassionate and hope that the compassion you show for other people, and the understanding and trying to put your feet in somebody else’s shoes is what you can expect from other people, and that you’ll be shown that same compassion.

Avil Beckford: How do you define success? And in your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Shannon Moroney: Success is a generalized feeling of positivity, of the right combination of purpose, fulfilling your purpose that you define for yourself, and having people around to share it with. For me, that’s really important. We use the word balance a lot these days, and I think it’s important to try to achieve the right balance of work and play, volunteering and having time for yourself – that’s a good formula to try to achieve. It’s different for every person.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Shannon Moroney:

Frida Kahlo, the Mexican self-portrait artist. I would thank her for being an example of someone who could be open to the pain she was in, and not try to make it pretty. She’s not trying to please anybody but herself through her artwork, and in so doing, impacted a lot of people.
I’d love to meet Lucille Ball just because in my family whenever anyone was feeling sick, the solution was always to eat cinnamon toast and watch I Love Lucy, so I feel like she is a member of my family.
There are some authors that I’d like to meet and have dinner with. But mostly I would be very nervous about what I would say to them. I would listen to what they have to say to me and not do too much of the talking myself. Authors I admire are Barbara Kingsolver and Jeannette Walls who wrote a fantastic memoir called The Glass Castle and Lucy Maud Montgomery who wrote all the Anne of Green Gables books because I feel the values she puts forward in her books, as I read them as a young girl, impacted how I grew. The character of Anne shaped who I wanted to be – how she was different from other people, coped with her own frustrations. All those authors are people I’d like to thank for what they give, and for giving me a story or a book I can read and learn so much from.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

Shannon Moroney: There are many books but I’ll say The Catcher in the Rye even though I haven’t read it for years and years. At the time, I was 16 or 17 when I read it and the main character Holden Caulfield, I felt that I understood him and the actual catcher in the rye is a person that all they want to do is stand on the edge of a cliff and save all the little children who are playing, from falling over the edge of the cliff.

When I read The Catcher in the Rye as a teenager, I knew that’s exactly what I wanted to do in the world was to keep the little children from falling over the cliff, so much so that I wrote that as my ambition in my yearbook, my career ambition. By becoming a teacher, by working with young people who’ve experienced violence, and by finally becoming a mother myself, my passion is for children and young people and trying to keep them away from the dangers, and allow them to grown and fully be themselves. I hold that to the main character Holden Caulfield in The Catcher in the Rye.

Avil Beckford: You are one of the 10 finalists on the reality show, So, How Would You Spend Your Time? Each finalist is placed on separate deserted islands for two years. You have a basic hut on the island and all the tools for survival; you just have to be imaginative and inventive when using them. You are allowed to take five books, one movie and one music CD, and whatever else you take has to fit in one suitcase and a travel on case. What would you take with you and how would you spend the two years? T he prize is worth your while and at this stage in the game there really aren’t any losers among the 10 finalists, since each are guaranteed at least $2 million?

Shannon Moroney:

Two Years

If there is anyway I could bring my guitar with me, I would because the guitar is the best travel companion. I would try to build a connection with nature around me, observe and get involved with the natural life rather than try to fight it, and look for ways to survive and realize that everything I need would be around me.

I would also spend a lot of my time crying, I’m sure, because I’m a very social, outgoing person, very extroverted, and that would be the number one hardest thing about being on my own, would be not having other people around me.

Five Books

I would take a really long book that I have never read before, something really hard like War and Peace, something that would make me a better person. I have actually lived in some very isolated places where you read anything because there is nothing else to do so it’s a good way to get through hard books.
I would take some of my favourites that I can really escape into. I would take something like Anne of Green Gables: The Collection, or Little Women (Sterling Classics) – these classic books from my childhood that I could escape and love.
I would take one of my favourite Buddhist books of literature, which is The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Library) by Pema Chodron because I think that would give me guidance as I coped with being on this isolated island.
I’d take a Barbara Kingsolver book, maybe Prodigal Summer: A Novel or the The Poisonwood Bible: A Novel. These are the kinds of books that each time you read them you get more so it would be okay to reread them.

Movie & Music CD

For music I would take the Indigo Girls, the album that has “Closer to Fine” (Indigo Girls) which has been a staple of my life. I’m not a big movie person, but it would probably be Little Women. I don’t watch new movies all the time, but Little Women is one I like to watch every year and I feel so comforted. I think where I’m going for this life on the island is for comfort and security and not new or scary or anything like that.

Indigo Girls – Closer To Fine

Cannot view this video, click here. Uploaded by IndigoGirlsVEVO on Oct 25, 2009

Little Women (1933) – Trailer

Cannot view this video, click here. Uploaded by warnervod on Jun 13, 2011

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Shannon Moroney: Possibilities, the opportunity to travel, the growth I have in my relationships. I’m at a wonderful point of new beginnings with my new husband, with our children about to be born. There are a lot of things. I feel so lucky to have the life that I do, to have the perspective that I do, to have come through such a horrible situation. I feel very lucky to live in Canada, very lucky for the opportunities that I have. I’m very lucky for my education and all of those things make life a lot easier, and it’s something that lots of people in the world don’t have, is the opportunity even just to dream and get excited about life because work and daily survival is so important.

For me, even though I lost my ability to dream for a while when I was just having to survive day-to-day and make all these difficult decisions that when I finally emerged and got back that ability to dream and have hope, it’s a wonderful experience. So lots of things excite me about life, and I hope it’s long.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Shannon Moroney: Connecting with nature is the number one thing for me. Usually if I see myself coming off balance because I haven’t spent enough time in and around trees, connecting with the beautiful wilderness that we have in Canada. But I do live in a big city so I also have little practices that I do that offer me a chance to reflect, whether it’s lighting a candle, burning some sage, or just sitting quietly is very important to me. And my soul is nurtured so much by other people and by being around the people who I love.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for?

Shannon Moroney: I would wish for more compassion in our world – that’s the number one thing I could think of, less judgement and more compassion.

Avil Beckford: Complete the following, I am happy when…..

Shannon Moroney: I’m happy when I’m with the people I love.

Book links are affiliate links.

Mentor Yourself: An Interview With Shannon Moroney, Author, Advocate & Speaker(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself – An Interview With Drew Dudley, Founder & Chief Catalyst Part II(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself: Interview With Invisible Mentor Julie Daniluk, TV Host Part II(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself: Interview With Joann Lim, Making It Happen Specialist & Professional Coach, Part II(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself: Interview With Invisible Mentor Julie Daniluk, TV Host, Nutritionist, Motivational Speaker, Writer(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself – An Interview With Drew Dudley(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself – Interview With Invisible Mentor Jo Ann Langer, Senior Retail Executive Part II(theinvisiblementor.com)

Mentor Yourself With Diane Craig, President, Corporate Class Inc., Part II (theinvisiblementor.com)

Share and Enjoy:

No related posts.

Mentor Yourself: An Interview With Shannon Moroney, Author, Advocate & Speaker

Avil Beckford — Thu, 10 May 2012 11:35:05 +0000

What if your husband committed a sex crime, how would you react? Read Shannon Moroney’s story.

Invisible Mentor: Shannon Moroney, Author, Advocate & Speaker

Website: http://www.shannonmoroney.com/

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?

Shannon Moroney: I’m afraid I don’t have very typical days. My days are often quite different from one another. At the moment, my husband and I are preparing to move and I’m supervising a big renovation project. When I’m not traveling with my book, I spend a significant amount of time each day responding to emails from readers, and groups that are interested in me coming to their community. I try to integrate a little bit of time for personal care, exercise, and so on. Right now I’m expecting twins in May, so I have lots of doctor’s appointments. But I don’t have a regular schedule.

Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

Shannon Moroney: That’s an interesting question for someone like myself who has just come through a very traumatic period. It’s easy to feel exhausted or drained because I tire more easily than I did because of the emotional demands of the work that I do. But what motivates me are usually letters from my readers who are identifying with my book, who are thanking me for having a voice for them and just knowing that the work I do is making a difference in other people’s lives is what keeps me motivated.

Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

Shannon Moroney: I think because I was put into a situation very suddenly for which there was no map or guidebook, no one to ask for advice, I had to forge my way forward. Maybe the only thing I would do, would be to take a little bit better care of myself if that had been possible. I did the very best that I could, and I didn’t have any easy decisions to make. To say I would do something differently might not respect myself the way that I was coming through a difficult time. I think at the end of every day I feel at peace with myself and the choices that I have made.

Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?

Shannon Moroney: It’s been an interesting . A couple of years ago, I had just been remarried, so it was a very happy time. I was going through the final editing stage of my book, and my book came out about eight or nine moths ago. One of the discoveries I have made was that the process of writing a book, which is long and hard, and thankless in many ways payless. When the book came out I thought I would feel a huge relief, or a huge sense of pride, or a big rush of satisfaction, and what’s been a challenge is discovering that putting my book out into the world doesn’t close up my own personal life and my challenges. I still have to live with taking care of myself post-trauma. It’s been a lot of hard work and I think I thought I would feel a little bit more free than I do.

Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

Shannon Moroney:

In the field that I work in something that is difficult to cope with is the media. There is a lot of media attention around my book. Some of it comes to me and I experience it with a lot of integrity, and other times I’ve had to put up with very sensational reporting – headlines that really upset me and that has created a situation where I need to respond or not respond. I need to choose battles or not choose battles and that’s a big challenge. I’m still trying to figure out how to stand up for myself, how to trust the media.
The other would me making a living at all on the work that I do. I gave up my teaching job so that I could finish working on it full-time and so I could go on tour with my book. There is not a big financial success in the book publishing industry. Most of the work I do is with charitable organizations – wonderful community-based groups that want to bring me to speak with their groups but who are working with very small budgets. So I find it a challenge to negotiate the business side of my work. It’s not something I have experience in and to try to help others meet their needs while not sacrificing my own. That’s a challenge to say that the work I do has value. I have to pay my bills like everybody else, and I can’t always be expected to work for free or for charity. So that’s a big negotiation going on.

Avil Beckford: Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it. What kind of lessons did you learn in the process?

Shannon Moroney: The nature of my book, and the experience I went through was enormous, and beyond a challenge to overcome, going from a happy, newlywed successful person working in education, to a homeowner, someone involved in the community I lived in, to suddenly overnight to become the wife of a sex offender. That brought with it a horrific stigma, such painful trauma, and a great deal of judgement by others on me. It took a long time to gain back my sense of who I am, to fight against that kind of stigma and prejudice and move forward with my life. One of the most important things that I learned is to know what your personal values are, who you are as an individual because that is what will help and heal you should you go through a significant loss or trauma like I did.

Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

Shannon Moroney: My biggest break in life is having a supportive family – a family that stood by me and helped me through a situation, who gave me the love and support I needed to go each step of the way. In terms of publishing my book, it’s a different story, I had a few big breaks and they all came by happenstance connections. Talking to friends, being open with the work I was trying to do in terms of writing led to some conversations with people who had connections in the publishing industry. Very quickly I found myself in the hands of a lovely agent and a wonderful publisher. Had I not been open with what I was doing, had I not followed up on leads I was given, when someone said, “Hey do you want to meet my friend’s brother-in-law who published a book?” I always said yes to anything like that. Any type of connection, someone who could help me, show me some insights, I think I was very open to all of that advice and opportunity and that led to some incredibly big breaks and some wonderful relationships.

Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

Shannon Moroney: That’s a hard question for me. I never really think of the concept of failure in terms of my own experience because I had to survive so much that I also had to be kind to myself when things didn’t work out – when I took two steps forward, and then a step back in my recovery, and my efforts to move forward with my life. I couldn’t think of them as failures. I had to continue to move forward. A lesson I learned though is that nobody moves forward in their life on their own, and it’s a good idea to take up any offers of help that you get along the way. Not only did that lead to greater success, it also led to much greater happiness. Having people to share a success with at the end of a long road is a lot more beautiful than enjoying it alone.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

Shannon Moroney: One of the toughest decisions I had to make was to break my wedding vows. My first husband already broke them to me when he committed these horrific crimes, but ultimately I had to choose to break mine to him. They weren’t broken automatically. That was very painful for me to be forced to change the kind of love I have for him, to decide to leave him behind in prison while I move forward with my life. To hold him accountable for what he had done, but also hold myself accountable for making a better future for myself. These decisions came with a great amount of pain. They took time. They took a lot of courage in terms of me saying to myself, that I deserved to still live a full and wonderful life even after I had been so terribly betrayed and victimized. The impact has been incredibly positive. I don’t live a life without sadness when I remember that time. It will never stop being painful but deciding that I could have a life, I deserved a life, that I wasn’t going to let my life be controlled by someone else’s horrible action. I found happiness again. I found a purpose in the work that I do and I also found a way to trust again and a way to love again. Now I’ve arrived at a time where I feel a great deal of happiness with my new husband and as we expect our twins to be born very soon I feel proud about the decisions that I’ve made to move forward.

Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

Shannon Moroney:

Obviously the one I write about the most – the great trauma involving my husband’s arrest and incarceration.
Before that, in the 30 years of life that I had before this horrible trauma, what shaped my character and gave me the skills to cope in a way that I did, or when this trauma happened. Major events involved travel, choosing to travel at an early age, as a teenager on my own, going to Indonesia to live three months, choosing to live a year abroad in South America with my university.
After everything happened with my husband, choosing to go back to school, get a Maters degree in England, and open doors for myself. All of those travel experiences were incredibly educational and opened my eyes to the way people live in other parts of the world, and gave me a perspective and a lot of gratefulness in life I had even when I had to go through a horribly, painful time, I still had the perspective of the suffering that other people have to go through, and I could still be grateful for what I did have instead of think that everything was over for me.

Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

Shannon Moroney: Deciding I would be able to find happiness again, and to come through a trauma that I think many people might not have made it through, or might still be suffering greatly from. I think the greatest accomplishment was deciding for myself that I deserved a wonderful life, and working every single day, every day, to get to a place where I could reach that point.

Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?

Shannon Moroney: I’ve been so fortunate that I have had so many mentors, leaders in my life, at all different points, all different kinds of people, every age, that have given me perspective on things, have given me advice, who have modeled for me who I would like to be. I would be nowhere without all the people in my life who are champions of the human spirit who offer guidance directly or by the way they live.

Avil Beckford: What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

Shannon Moroney: Overall, a message I picked up along the way is that we’re not in control of what happens to us, but we’re in control of how we respond, and who we are. That message of knowing who I am, knowing what my values are, is something that has fortified me through difficult times, and good times as well.

Shannon Moroney: My one piece of advice would be that every night when you go to bed and put your head on your own pillow, you have to feel at peace with yourself, what you’ve done during the day, how you’ve interacted with other people, how you’ve treated yourself and others. If you feel at peace with all those things then no naysayer, no critic can get in the way of who you are in accomplishing your goals and that’s the advice I would give.

Everybody has people in their life that will judge them, that will be critical, be negative but ultimately at the end of the day, what you think of yourself and how you are with other people is what you have to live with. You’re the only person that you have to live with for the rest of your life, the only person you’re guaranteed to know your whole life is you, and that’s not being self-centered, but its’ about making sure that who know who that is, and you’re at peace with that person. When you see shortcomings in yourself that you not beat yourself about them but you work toward improvements.

Book links are affiliate links.

Mentor Yourself: Interview With Invisible Mentor Jo Ann Langer, Senior Level Retail Executive(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself: Interview With Joann Lim, Making It Happen Specialist & Professional Coach(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself – An Interview With Drew Dudley, Founder & Chief Catalyst Part II(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself: Interview With Joann Lim, Making It Happen Specialist & Professional Coach, Part II(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself: Interview With Invisible Mentor Gary Vurnum, Author(theinvisiblementor.com)
Mentor Yourself With Diane Craig, President, Corporate Class Inc., Part II(theinvisiblementor.com)

Share and Enjoy:

No related posts.

Mentor Yourself : Book Review – The Railway Children by E. Nesbit

Avil Beckford — Tue, 08 May 2012 09:30:31 +0000

Why The Railway Children by E. Nesbit Matters Today

Though The Railway Children is a children’s book, it’s a perfect demonstration of why a safety net is so important. In the story, you have a father who is taken away, and we learn he is arrested for being a spy, which is a false accusation. The loss of income of the primary breadwinner forces the family into poverty. Today, with the economy still in a downturn, many people are only a pay cheque away from financial devastation. This tells us, that in the good times, no matter how little we earn, we should put away some of the money for ourselves, for the rainy days that will inevitably come.

The Railway Children (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In The Railway Children by E. Nesbit, Roberta, Phyllis and Peter are living idyllic lives with their parents in what is described as an “ordinary red-brick fronted villa, coloured glass in the front door, a tiled passage that was called a hall, a bathroom with and cold water, electric bells, French windows, and a good deal of white paint, and ‘every modern convenience,’ as the house agents say.”

The children are well-loved, and their parents make time to play with them. While they are at school, their mother writes stories and reads them to the children during tea time. And as a special treat, for their birthdays, she writes special poems for them. One day, two men come to visit their father and he leaves with them. The mother is quite upset, and tells the children not to ask questions. Shortly after the father leaves, the mother and children have to move out from suburbia into the country because their social and financial status has radically changed. And they take only the things that will be useful to them in their new life.

The mother is forced to work to take care of her family, and she does what she knows to do, which is to write children’s stories, and she has some success. Like any writer, there are times when her work is rejected and there are other times when a magazine publisher accepts the stories. In those times, the children get a special treat of buns.

The children are very aware that their situation has changed, but it doesn’t bother them that much – children are very resilient, and they are more intelligent and understanding that most adults give them credit for. The mother often emphasizes to the children that they are now poor. In The Railway Children, even among the poor, a class structure exists because there are different levels of poverty. For instance, their housekeeper, Mrs Viney, is much poorer than they are.

The three children no longer go to school, and to while the time away, they spend a lot of time exploring their new surroundings. Roberta, Peter and Phyllis love to visit the railway. While exploring they see a coal mine. At their new home, they no longer have ‘every modern convenience.’ Their home is no longer as warm as they are accustomed to, and mother doesn’t earn enough to buy the amount of coal needed. While the children explore the railway yard, Peter notices a lot of coal, and he makes up these rules as to what constitutes stealing. He comes up with idea of taking some of the coal, but he doesn’t want to get his sisters involved in taking it. They help him to transport the coal with the aid of a wheelbarrow up the hill to their home.

One day, Peter sneaks out, not knowing that Roberta and Phyllis are following him. When he gets to the coal mine, the station manager grabs him with the intention of reporting him. The children plead for mercy, and when the station manager learns why they are stealing, he lets him go free and tells him not to steal anymore coal. Even though Peter had tried to convince himself that taking the coal wasn’t stealing, deep down he knows the difference between right and wrong.

Because of the encounter with the station master, they want to stay away, but they cannot help themselves – they cannot keep away. In no time they learn the schedule for the arrival of the trains to the station which is close by, and they give the trains names like Green Dragon, Worm of Wantley and Fearsome Fly-by-Night. They make sure that they are close by when, Green Dragon, the 9:15 am train is passing by and they wave to the passengers, and out of first class, the hand of an older man waves back. This becomes a routine for the children.

As the story unfolds, you learn a lot about the characters. The three children are wise beyond their years, especially Roberta. And they are more resilient and stronger than their mother. The children go out into their new community and make friends, and learn about others, while the mother is wrapped up into their new circumstance. She is focused on earning money and doesn’t play with them as much as she used to. Because the children reach out to others with friendship, people in the community are kind to them.

One day the mother contracts influenza and the doctor prescribes a variety of things to help her recover. The mother decides which ones to buy because of her restricted budget. She is also very concerned about how she is going to pay for the doctor’s services. Roberta had heard Mrs Viney talking about a club that the doctor has, which enables the poorest people to afford his services. Roberta pays him a visit and asks that they be a part of the club, and he complies, even if he has to make a brand new club for them. The doctor is also poor, and he was excited that he had found a new patient. However, he is a man of compassion, and opens up the club to them. Roberta does this without her mother’s knowledge.

The children decide to take matters into their own hands to get the medicine needed for their mother to recover so they write a note to the old gentleman who always waves back to them. They write the letter and make their request, but they make it very clear that it’s an IOU and they ask him to give the package to the station manager and tell him it’s for Peter since they do not know which return train he will be on. When the 9:15 am train pulls into the station, Phyllis hands the note to the old gentleman.

At six pm in the evening there is a knock on their door, and it’s the friendly porter from the station with a package from the older gentleman. The children know that at some point they have to tell their mother what they have done, but decide to do so after she has recovered. Mother is angry because she does not want handouts, and she doesn’t want anyone feeling sorry for her and her family.

One day when the children go to the railway station there is a commotion, so they have to investigate. There is a distressed man there who doesn’t speak English and no one can figure out what language he is speaking. The station master suggests that the man is speaking French, but Peter knows it isn’t French because they used to study it at their school. In very bad French, “Parlay voo Frongsay” (Parlez-vous Francais), Peter asks the stranger if he speaks French, and he responds in French. Peter lets the station manager know that his mother speaks French. It so happens that on that day the mother had taken a trip, more than likely to visit her husband. In her limited French, Roberta tells the stranger that her mother speaks French.

When mother arrives, they take her to the stranger and in conversation they find out that he is Russian, has lost his train ticket and is ill. The stranger is a writer, and has written beautiful books, many of which mother has read. They take him home with them, and Roberta goes to fetch the doctor. Mother gives the stranger one of her husband’s outfit, and Roberta asks her mother if her father is dead and is told no.

As the stranger grows stronger, they learn more about his life. He was imprisoned because of his beliefs and what he writes about. He was enlisted into the army and deserted when it was safe and came to England. He knows his family is somewhere in England but doesn’t where. Mother writes many letters to Members of Parliament, editors of newspapers but cannot get any word on the stranger’s family.

One day while out exploring there is a bit of what appears to be a minor earthquake. Stones and trees and you name it, fall across the tracks shortly before the 3:15 train is to arrive. The children know the dangers and acted quickly. Using the girl’s red petticoats they make a flag to signal the train to stop, and they end up preventing a train crash. The children are honored for what they did, but that’s not why they did it. They have learned to be of service, to think of others, despite their changed circumstances. This plays out many times in The Railway Children.

The old gentleman is at the ceremony for their valour, and after the presentation, he and Roberta have a conversation. She tells him about the Russian stranger, Mr. Szezcpansk. The old gentleman knows people within the Russian community in London and promises Roberta that he will make some inquiries. A short while later, the old gentleman, finds out where Mr Szezcpansk’s family is, and the stranger reunites with them.

There are many tales in the book about the goodness of the children, the way that they make the lives of others much brighter. They teach the people in the community how to be a true community through their selfless actions. The old gentleman has also experienced their goodness when they rescue his grandson.

Roberta discovers from an old newspaper article that her father was arrested and he is in prison. She goes to her mother and they have an honest conversation. It’s difficult to believe that she is only 12 years old. Once again she goes to her friend, the older gentleman, to talk to him. He knows of the case and had the intention of helping, now he has a reason to, because he knows the three children, and the impact the arrest has had on their lives. He also believes in the father’s innocence.

The family is reunited. The Railway Children is a story of hope, and some of the big lessons it teaches us are:

The good you do for others come back to you.
The world is bigger than you. Life is more than about us.
When going through a rough patch, do something good for another.
Community is important. By lifting up others we lift up everyone.
Build a safety net.

I recommend The Railway Children by Edith Nesbit. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Additional Information

The Railway Children Part 1 HD

Cannot view this video, click here. Uploaded by SW1AOAA on Jan 28, 2012

The Railway Children Part 2 HD

Cannot view this video, click here.

The Railway Children Part 3 HD

Cannot view this video click here.

The Railway Children
Theatre Review: The Railway Children

Book links are affiliate links.

Share and Enjoy:

No related posts.

The Invisible Mentor » Mentor Yourself

Mentor Yourself – Interview With Invisible Mentor Deborah Nixon, President

Profile of Wisdom: Thomas Jefferson, Philosopher, Statesman and Third President

10 Great Ideas from Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

10 Books I Have Enjoyed in 2012

If You Could Meet Anyone, Dead or Alive, Who Would You Choose?

Why You Must Read Broadly – Tip 4

Related articles

The Invisible Mentor Week in Review

Mentor Yourself: An Interview With Shannon Moroney, Author, Advocate & Speaker, Part II

Related articles

Mentor Yourself: An Interview With Shannon Moroney, Author, Advocate & Speaker

Related articles

Mentor Yourself : Book Review – The Railway Children by E. Nesbit