The Invisible Mentor

Archive for the ‘Career/Career Advice’ Category

In the article “Networking Your Way to the Boardroom,” Liz O’Donnell cites Nancy Mellard, executive vice president and general counsel for the Employee Services Division of CBIZ, as saying:

“It’s not just about going to a networking event; it’s about truly engaging people in your story… Attending a networking event is not enough. You must follow up after the event. Women must approach a networking event like they would approach closing a sale. Networking and telling your story are the two most critical tools for professional women today. The failure to effectively use these two tools is the gap in women on advisory boards. There are thousands of competent women who are not utilizing the correct tools to place themselves on these boards.”

From the above, the pieces that caught my attention are closing a sale, and networking and telling your story are the two most critical tools. As an introvert, networking events are not my cup of tea, though I force myself to attend them. When I attend an event my intent is to meet two new people and I make sure that I achieve my goal. To some people that’s low, but for me, it’s manageable and I have to be careful not to drain myself. If I meet more people that’s great, but I do not go out of my way to do so. I have a hard time transitioning into conversations especially when there are people who monopolize the conversation. What are your thoughts?

Now that I have read the article I have been thinking about my story because I have recently changed what I do for a living. My story would be something like this, “I am Chief Invisible Mentor, and I help people to mentor themselves and unleash their best selves, through The Invisible Mentor Blog by providing relevant information.” It needs work, but what do you think? What is you story? How do you follow-up after a networking event? What do you think of the article? Let’s keep the conversation going, please comment.

Mistakes are a way of life, but the trick is to learn from them. Here are two mistakes that I made that you can learn from.

Mistake I

I allowed people to talk me into putting their needs ahead of mine because I did not really value what I had to offer. If I did not value what I had to offer, why would anyone value it? Because I did not place a value on what I had to offer, I worked for much less than I deserved based on my experience and the quality of my service. I never trusted that if I said no others would say yes.

Lesson I

• We all have skills and much to offer, so do not devalue what you have to offer to please clients
• Trust that if you set your price based on your skills and experience and your service is in demand, you will never go hungry
• People mirror you and treat you the way you treat yourself

Mistake II

A few years ago I secured a new not-for-profit client in the educational sector. We had a few meetings and they told me that if I discounted my fees I would be getting a lot of work from them. I discounted my prices and got a few small projects from them. When they had a large research project, which would have made working at a discounted price worthwhile, they did not tell me about it, but instead hired one of the large research firms. I found out by accident and it did not make me feel very good about myself.

Lesson II

1. If a new client asks you to discount your fees, thank them for their faith in you and let them know that for the first few projects you will keep your prices, but for subsequent projects you are open to negotiating a special pricing
2. As a professional it is very important not to devalue your services if you want to keep your reputation intact, especially when you cater to a certain level of clientele. It is better not to be in a situation where you have to explain to Client A why Client B got a discount

There is truth to the adage that no one succeeds alone: the Lone Ranger had Tonto, and Bud Abbot had Lou Costello. They needed and relied on each other to achieve their goals. Even the self-made millionaire used “somebody’s” resources to achieve professional success. Would it then not make sense to have a system that allows people to pool their mental capacities to solve problems, generate great ideas and perhaps even conquer the world?

The Buddy System™, a support system consisting of about four to six people who are committed to co-mentoring  each other to achieve their goals, could be the answer. Members of this support network do not have to be from the same company, they just have to have a willingness to help others while helping themselves. Each member of the co-mentor network assumes the role of “buddy” or sidekick or co-mentor to the other members. Think of the Buddy System™ as a mini think tank where transformation partners pool their resources to achieve a greater good.

Finding appropriate buddies (co-mentors) takes careful planning, but the effort spent in getting it right will potentially catapult you to success. Have you identified those people in your diverse networks whose goals, personal mission and values intersect with yours?

Initially, get together to talk about what is important to you, and where you would like to see yourselves in five years? Brainstorm various ways to fill the gap between where you are, to where you want to be. Before committing, take the group for a test drive to discover if real chemistry is there.

If co-mentors feel comfortable together, decide which courses, webinars, workshops, seminars, conferences, podcasts, blogs and books would benefit the group the most. When deciding, focus on training and resources that will help members to attain greater personal and professional success. Allocate training and resources among members. When members take a course or read a book and so on, they should write a summary and teach the concepts to other members. This lessens the learning curve for each transforming partner.

For maximum impact, meet once a week and no less than every two weeks for two hours, but remember to harness technology by creating a group on LinkedIn, Twitter, Yahoo! or any other to circulate training or book summaries. If members are dispersed geographically, utilize video or web conferencing to meet. Reserve meetings as a forum for members to act as a Buddy Think Tank™ where they strategize, act on opportunities, and generate innovative ideas to resolve critical issues/concerns/problems facing them in their daily lives.

Potential ways to enhance the Buddy System™ experience:

• If members are located in the same geographic area make the Buddy Meetings™ a fun event – eat and laugh together
• When summarizing books, ask the following questions and include the answers in the summary:
  • What breakthroughs did you have while reading this book?
  • Does the book contain facts that are somewhat surprising because they are different from what you know?
  • Are there any rule breaking in the book? If yes, what are they?
  • Is there a method of thinking, or metaphor implied in this book that you could adopt to solve problems?
  • What are the top 5 great ideas/takeaways from the book?
  • How does the author’s ideas or solutions relate to your life and your work?
  • In what ways can you use the ideas/insights/takeaways to increase the value of your product/service to your customers (internal/external)?
  • In what ways can you use the ideas/insights/takeaways to add value to your life?
• Rotate roles and responsibilities among members
• Evaluate regularly to determine if the needs of all member are being addressed by the group

In today’s environment, standing still is no longer an option in work and life. Use the Buddy System™ to partner your way to success.

The Legend of The Lone Ranger Music Video By Carey Lee Fisher

Who’s On First? By Bruno Nomad

Interview With Sandra Miller

In an effort to provide you with information to help you to become the best YOU, I have been revisiting work that I had done previously for my newsletter to allow new readers to benefit from that premium content. We can learn from the people around us. For the interview below, which I conducted over two years ago, I interviewed Sandra Miller, my neighbour at the time. I remember we were having dinner in a Greek restaurant, and Toronto Mayor, David Miller (no relation to Sandra) was having a quick meal before he went to an event. After his meal, he went to every table and greeted everyone. I thought that was quite nice. It is interesting that I should remember that encounter now, though it has nothing to do with the interview below.

I particularly liked this interview because it is so human. Many times we try to do the right thing, we do our homework, yet things do not always work out the way we intended. Instead of beating up ourselves, let’s view the experience as lessons learned.

Avil: Describe a challenge that you had and how you resolved it.

Sandra: I finished my Masters degree in leadership and training and wanted to use my education in the workplace. I had worked for a government agency for a very long time and now wanted to experience another work environment in the not-for-profit sector.

I accepted an offer within a company that I thought I knew, one I thought would be a good fit for me. Not too long into the process I realized that I had misjudged some of the attributes of that company. And what’s interesting is that specializing in leadership and training should have made me more aware of what was presented to me. Some of your other needs often cloud your perceptions no matter how diligent you are when making a decision. My new employer had financial security, and appeared to have opportunities for me, and they came looking for me, which made me feel good.

Previously, I had worked with the company on various projects, but in that context I was an outsider. The CEO said all the right things; we talked about opportunities and my education, and how I could be a change agent, which was what I was really looking for. I had important networks within the sector that the organization was aligned with, and in the public sector where they would receive funding, and I thought that I could leverage those alliances. I made assumptions about the organization’s culture based on my prior interactions with them.

After I joined the organization, I realized that a number of their practices were contrary to my values. It was a company managed by fear and retribution, and not the place I thought; I thought they ran like a “well oiled machine Because of confident empowered employees and found out that it ran that way because of fear and punishment. People were not given the opportunity to learn and grow in the organization. My leadership style and values give people opportunities to learn and grow, and be comfortable in their work environment, which reaps higher productivity and loyalty to a company, and allows a more joyful day-to-day experience.

As you grow older, you start to realize what you really value, what you are willing to, and not willing to tolerate, what you will not sign your name to and what action you are not willing to take. The staff was paralyzed by fear of the leadership, yet the staff actually had all sorts of new ideas. I didn’t realize before coming into the job that I was the fourth person to sit in that chair in about five years so it really didn’t make any difference what I tried to do.

Resolution: After four to five months, I knew that I had made an error in judgment. In planning my go forward position, my first resolution was to continue to perform in my style. I ran the risk of not fitting in with the leadership team, not being successful, and being performance managed. To me, being true to myself was my sole purpose the entire time. And, being true to myself, I decided to perform at a certain level and treat my staff in a way that I believed to be positive, provided them with opportunities, and listened to their suggestions for change and where possible implement them.

As I continued to become stronger and more comfortable with myself in what I believed to be true, my staff started to perform at a higher level and also liked me as a boss. They were more forthcoming with their thoughts and concerns. At the same time I was alienating myself from the leadership, which was a very tight knit group, and the sole decision-makers within the organization. My team was functioning a lot better and was happier, which was perceived as causing grief within the organization. The leadership team sabotaged my success, and the situation started to have a personal impact on me.

A year into the experience I realized that everything I was hired to do I wasn’t allowed to do, and the general management and philosophy around the treatment of people were contrary to my own beliefs, and contrary to an environment where I could personally excel, make a tangible difference, and come in to work every day with a smile on my face.

In a situation like this, you have to be reflective and think about your well-being, your mental and physical health, and you have to make a personal decision even though you’d like to stay for the team. I don’t like to quit or fail. I knew that I still had a number of years to work, and I didn’t see myself here in this environment, so either they were going to pull the plug, or I was going to pull the plug. How do I prepare to protect myself, to look for a new role, and how do you I protect my staff so they are not damaged after I leave?

I started to talk with other CEOs within the system where I was most known in, looking for somewhere else to land, looking for a role that would be more in keeping with the education and the passion and the interests that I have. A place where I would continue to learn and grow, and be able to execute my ideas. Before I completed that process I was released from the company.

I was fortunate, within a short time after my release one of my contacts had a position that was a good fit for my skills. Other corporate contacts provided tremendous support and all my friends and family were extremely supportive. I say I was fortunate because I believe many of life experiences are timing, they come to us to teach us more about ourselves and the company that we keep.

My new role and the organization that I work for is a very good fit for my style, skills, passion and personal need to continue to learn and grow. Within the same short four months that it took previously to identify an untenable situation, I can say that within a much shorter period of time I recognized that this company lives its values, has the respect of individuals and delivers on its hiring promises. It is a place where I can live my values.

Avil: What lessons did you learn in the process?

Sandra: Lessons Learned

1. Ask precise questions during the process because you should be interviewing your prospective employers just as much as they are interviewing you; listen for responses that go “clang” with your values: challenge your assumptions
2. It’s important so see if the culture that the organization is selling is actually the culture that exists within
3. I learned the importance at looking at the turnover rate for the position that I am interviewing for – had I done this, I would have seen the red flag
4. I learned about the importance of looking at the longevity of the leadership, how many years they’ve been leading the company, and with that how they remain familiar with the educational and research environment that’s out there
5. I have always kept my networks strong, building and nurturing my relationships, and while going through this difficult process, I realized just how important my actions were. Because my networks were so strong, my reputation stood apart from the company that I was working for

Avil: In your opinion, what is the formula for success?

Sandra: The formula for success when looking for a job is to research your prospective employer extensively and not act too quickly when making a decision. You need to really understand yourself because the more you understand yourself, the more likely you’ll make a better match between you and your future employer. Question why you are going to make a move in your career, and what you want out of it. Look at not just financial security, but also at how the experience you’ll acquire will be beneficial to you.

Invest in your network and alliances. True connections are based on individual relationships that transcend employer relationships.

If you were in Sandra’s situation, what would you have done differently

Excerpt April/May 2007 Ambeck Edge

Photo credit: Creative Commons Lincense, Photo of Toronto Mayor David Miller by Bahman via Flickr