The Invisible Mentor

Booked on Tuesdays: Review – The First 30 Days by Ariane de Bonvoisin

October 4th, 2011 |

Cover of "The First 30 Days: Your Guide t...

Cover via Amazon

According to Ariane de Bonvoisin, The First 30 Days: Your Guide to making Any Change Easier is about “a different way of looking at change; it’s about the creation of a new mind-set. The First 30 Days will guide you toward the positive in every change and will inspire you to love your life even more.”

This book is important because change is a reality in our everyday lives. Change is never easy but we all have to learn to embrace it to move forward. The First 30 Days provides another process for individuals to work through the challenges and changes they face in their lives. There are many exercises for the reader to work through and I appreciated it that the author included what she calls a Change Manifesto, which is a list of mantras to help you view change as something positive.

The author covers nine principles in the book and allocates a chapter to each principle.

Principle 1: People who successfully navigate change have positive beliefs.
Principle 2: People who successfully navigate change know that change always bring something positive into their lives.
Principle 3: People who successfully navigate change know they are resilient, strong and capable of getting through anything.
Principle 4: People who successfully navigate change know that every challenging emotion they feel is not going to stop them and will guide them to positive emotions that help them feel better.
Principle 5: People who successfully navigate change know that the quicker they accept change, the less pain and hardship they will feel.
Principle 6: People who successfully navigate change use empowering questions and words, think better thoughts, and express their feelings.
Principle 7: People who successfully navigate change know they are connected to something bigger than themselves.
Principle 8: People who successfully navigate change are not alone; they surround themselves with people who can help, who have the right beliefs and skills. And they create an environment that supports their change.
Principle 9: People who successfully navigate change take action. They plan and know how to take care of themselves.

Principle 1: People who successfully navigate change have positive beliefs.

People limit themselves because they are looking for certainty in life. Change optimists know that change is good, it allows them to grow, and that something better is at the other side of change waiting for them. People who are less change hardy create distortions and have their “truths.” Their current beliefs are influenced by the people in their tribe: family, friends, colleagues and so on. They can change their mindset by choosing better thoughts; asking themselves who have influence over their choices and the changes they make in their lives, then giving themselves the permission to express their own views; and opening themselves to new ideas, beliefs and trying new things.

Change often leaves us feeling vulnerable, so people who are less change hardy, should be kinder and gentler to themselves, focusing on their most positive traits. To get the process going, ask and answer the following three questions:

What are the worst things I say about myself, or believe to be true about the person I am?
How do I sabotage myself when trying to make or face a change?
Even if it’s just for 30 days, what better things can I believe? Always start with the words I am…

Principle 2: People who successfully navigate change know that change always bring something positive into their lives.

With every change or challenge comes an accompanying opportunity, and every change optimist knows this. Life is always in a state of flux. The way you manage any life change, transition, crisis or challenge depends on how you answer the questions: Why did this happen to me? Why do I have to go through this change in the first place? Why is this change so hard? If you view change as an opportunity to learn and grow, or that it prepares you for whatever life has in store for you, you’ll find the change easier to manage.

Principle 3: People who successfully navigate change know they are resilient, strong and capable of getting through anything.

Change is often difficult and most of us feel incapable of handling the change so we have to develop our change muscle. The more we use those muscles, the stronger they become. Change muscles also have memory, so remember the actions you take to navigate change so that you can use them another time.

Principle 4: People who successfully navigate change know that every challenging emotion they feel is not going to stop them and will guide them to positive emotions that help them feel better.

There are seven types of change demons and they can help us navigate through change, but we have to be aware of them. What is consuming you as you go through change now and replace it with a positive emotion? Replace fear with faith; doubt with surrender; impatience with endurance; blame with honesty; guilt with forgiveness; shame with honour.

Principle 5: People who successfully navigate change know that the quicker they accept change, the less pain and hardship they will feel.

When we do not accept change there is no forward momentum so we cannot move to the next stage of our life. We have to leave the past behind.

Principle 6: People who successfully navigate change use empowering questions and words, think better thoughts, and express their feelings.

Listen to the language you use when describing the change that you are going through. Is it negative? Do you speak like a victim? There is always an opportunity associated with any change you go through, so look for the opportunity.

Principle 7: People who successfully navigate change know they are connected to something bigger than themselves.

Believe in something bigger than yourself, and this is not about religion. Recognize the Divine in every difficult and challenging situation. Take responsibility for what you are going through and follow your intuition.

Principle 8: People who successfully navigate change are not alone; they surround themselves with people who can help, who have the right beliefs and skills. And they create an environment that supports their change.

Ask for help because we all need a support network. Change is so much easier when you do not have to go it alone.

Principle 9: People who successfully navigate change take action. They plan and know how to take care of themselves.

Take action to move forward through change and make sure that you get enough sleep, exercise, eat healthy and drink enough water. Take care of yourself and make sure you pursue activities that you enjoy.

I have glossed over The First 30 Days: Your Guide to making Any Change Easier by Ariane de Bonvoisin. The book is loaded with a lot of big ideas and the author includes many case studies to demonstrate the principles. I like the fact that she doesn’t just talk about herself, but include the stories of other people. There are many ways to successfully manage change and this is just another tool inside your toolbox. I recommend The First 30 Days: Your Guide to making Any Change Easier by Ariane de Bonvoisin.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Book link is affiliate link.