The Invisible Mentor

Archive for September, 2010

The interviews on this blog are content rich, and there are times when important information goes unnoticed because there is just so much of it. I have extracted 10 tips based on the responses to the question, “As an invisible mentor, what advice do you have for my readers?” And remember that an invisible mentor is simply a unique leader you can learn from by observing them from a distance. I bring invisible mentors to you, so that you don’t have to search for them.

“Keep wishing, keep being positive about the dreams that you have because your dreams are attainable, you just have to keep going and don’t take no for an answer.” Robin Craig

“I wish I had someone I looked up to who would have been my mentor, because success is highly improbably without the willing cooperation of others.  My advice is to build a supportive network and seek mentors you admire who can help you travel the paths they have taken.” Alex Todd

“Be yourself, be truthful. Stick to your values and beliefs and it’s okay to say no sometimes.” Paul Copcutt

“Trust yourself that what you are doing is going to work, put yourself out there and show people that you care and build relationships. Stick to what you are doing and don’t give up when things aren’t going well.” Nathalie Lussier

“Setup a system to organize your work, immediately. I am not talking about a productivity system or anything complicated like that (though those can be useful for some people) what I mean is a systematic process for achieving your long term goals.

Entrepreneurs tend to get stuck on either the “big picture” or the small details, both of which are myopic viewpoints by themselves. To get anything done you need to be able to have a grasp of the actionable steps that have to be accomplished in order to achieve your goal. These steps need to be real and concrete for you. You should write them down and check them off as you accomplish them. Not only that but every so often you should look back at the list and see how far you have progressed, what you are getting stuck on and just how off the rails you’ve gone since the last time you looked. The more times you revisit, tweak and refine that list of steps the better off you will be.” Steve Spalding

“Find your passion and purpose.  I believe we were all empowered with a gift to give to the world.  I’d like to emphasize the words gift and give.  When we give of ourselves and our talents freely to others, amazing things occur.  This doesn’t mean what you always do is free, but find ways to give back.  It not only makes you feel good but also those you affect.  When you wrap the concept of giving around what it is you have a passion for, you find moments of joy that are truly amazing and almost unexplainable.  If you don’t feel you have found a purpose or passion, begin that search now!” Michael McCleary

“Nurture the people who give to you, always give back. Also, someone I spoke to recently said that one of his mottos was ‘you can’t have two faces’. Treat everyone with equal respect. That is so true.” Gina McAdam

“Realize that what gets everyone up in the mornings is one of four motivations or a combination them: money, power, self preservation and romance, which includes all the arts, and everything associated with the arts. These are the motivators, and put more emphasis on the self preservation and romance side, and less on the money and power side. You’ll be a happier person.” Duke Redbird

“Be yourself, develop your skills and do not take no for an answer. There is always a way. I have had quite a privileged life and I have to realize that some people don’t, so you have to embrace others and encourage them. I have always been supportive of my children and grandchildren and encouraged them in what they did and I believe that I still do that.” Lois Fallis

“Go for the grande, especially if your readers are women because a lot of us don’t think big enough. They may think let’s open up a coffee shop, let’s not create another Starbucks. Think bigger even if you don’t create another Starbucks, what if you end up with a chain of three or four coffee shops? Women need to think better and bigger, and I think that’s one piece of advice that I’d give to almost any woman that I meet.

For everyone else, I would say know your network, and know who you can turn to for really good advice. I think sometimes we build close networks of people who are vested in the outcomes of whatever we do, and we surround ourselves with people. So if your best friend doesn’t want you to get, or take that promotion, that’s not necessarily helpful information, you need to find people who will be able to give you good advice that’s in your best interest and not theirs.

Build a network of core people you can trust to help you build your business life and it turns out that they generally help you with your personal life as well.” Diane Danielson

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Image Credit: Google via Apture

Ron Rubin & Avery Gold – Your Invisible Mentor

How do you start to empower your dreams and create your reality? Ron Rubin and Avery Gold suggest that you ask yourself the following questions:

1. What turns me on and soars my soul?
2. Where is it that my capacity wants me to go?
3. What is it that I want to ultimately experience and succeed at?

The authors, Ron Rubin and Stuart Avery Gold, explain that Tiger Heart, Tiger Mind is about “waking up every morning of the world with a will and willingness to practice doing and being.” The book came about because of Carl Sandburg’s poem “Nothing happens unless first a dream.”

While I was reading this book, I had some mixed feelings about it. Overall I liked it because it had some good information, but at the end, I didn’t feel as if I could take any action. Or, to be honest, I didn’t know what to do with this information, how to use it to my benefit.

In this review, I will focus on some of the really good information. For example, the authors ask the question “How do you create the results you seek and live a life with full heart and elated mind?” Their answer, “By doing nothing.” Are they crazy? No! They do not mean that we should be lazy or idle, but instead be in “State of actionless action in which the individual reaches an ability to give rise to actions that are acutely intuitive and correct through intense, intrinsic concentration.” This is very difficult for people who do not meditate, or are not familiar with Zen and Buddhist principles, which often sound like babble, but when you think about them for a while, you finally get it, and suddenly it makes perfect sense.

Rubin and Avery Gold state that to become successful we must believe in continuously expanding ourselves and be open to discovering new things. They also recommend that we read biographies of great individuals, study success principles, take courses such as public speaking, writing and critical thinking. To empower our dreams, we have to make the commitment to be responsible for our dreams, and must realize and accept that “We can never know all that there is to know, and remember that every step of the way.” Another thing they mentioned, which I truly believe, is that to become wiser and more knowledgeable, we have to be open and empty, allowing ideas and insights to flow into us.

Five Common Sense Ideas

1. Too much of life is spent looking for the right answers, when in fact the secret to life lies in being able to ask the right questions. It’s the questions we ask, or fail to ask that shape our path
2. Too often people look outside their lives for what they want, when the creative power to build their best life lies within
3. The great tragedy of our times is that too many give themselves over to the pleasing of others in hopes of gaining approval or avoiding disapproval
4. Even enemies have enemies, and the enemy of fear will always be your courage to conquer it. Fear is an unreal response that holds whatever power we grant it. Courage is not the absence of fear – it is the acting in spite of fear. If you hold what you fear up to the light, the reality of it will begin to fade, allowing you to re-take control of your thinking process and your destiny. To fight fear:
   1. -      Face it
   2. -      Engage it
   3. -      Assess it
   4. -      Reject it
5. Do not put your dreams up on a shelf to satisfy others. You have an obligation to yourself to discover and manifest your unique purpose and mission in life and set it free

How do you start to empower your dreams and create your reality? The authors suggest that you ask yourself the following questions:

1. What turns me on and soars my soul?
2. Where is it that my capacity wants me to go?
3. What is it that I want to ultimately experience and succeed at?

So, you’ve answered the questions, what next? Your guess is as good as mine, but I do recommend the book because it will make you think.

How can you use this information? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

This review first appeared in Ambeck Edge January 2006

Book links are affiliate links.

This weekend I attended The Iris Reading Speed Reading course, which I purchased from Groupon. While reflecting on what I learned at the Iris Reading course and the High Speed Learning course which I attended a few years ago, I have some thoughts about reading faster without sacrificing comprehension.

Three Habits Acquired When We Learned to Read

1. Regression: We learned to read from left to right, one word at a time
2. Fixation: We focus on one word at a time and break down monosyllabic words into syllables
3. Sub-vocalization: We read phonectically, breaking down the words in our minds first before we move on to the next

We learn best when we are in a happy, relaxed environment. The Alpha Brainwave State is best for optimal learning.

To Go into Alpha Brainwave State

• Sit down in a comfortable position
• Close you eyes and let all thoughts drift away
• Take a few deep breaths, breathing deep into your lungs by flexing your diaphragm (you know that you are breathing deeply when your stomach pushes out when you are inhaling)
• With your eyes still closed, look upwards as if you’re focusing on the point between your eyebrows
• When you feel a slight pressure, start counting down slowly from ten to one
• When you reach one, you are now in the alpha state
• Relax for a few more minutes

• You are now ready to focus on the task at hand

Basic Rules of Reading Faster

• Read groups of words at a time
• Never read over what you have already read. Trust that your subconscious will get the gist, and later fill in the blanks
• Move a finger or pen beneath the line you are reading, in a left to right manner, to force you to read faster

Daily Drills to Read Faster

Like any new technique, you become better with practice. There are online tools called Rapid Serial Visual Presentation (RSVP), which are designed to help you read faster. Using RSVP tools, you can quickly increase your reading speed by practicing a few drills online every day for a few minutes. Some of these RSVPs allow you to use your own reading material, which is simply gold for people who read a lot online. They are also good for people who are dyslexic because the words are flashed on screen in the sequence they should be read.

1. Spreeder.com – very versatile: you can set the number of words you’d like to read at time, the speed at which you’d like to read (number of words per minute), and you can copy and paste your own reading material
2. Readability.com – extension for Firefox and Google Chrome, which clears away the clutter from web pages, and allows you to read faster without unnecessary distractions
3. Reasy – extension for both Firefox and Google Chrome. When you install, highlight the article or page you’d like to read online, the Reasy presentation pops up and you click to start reading)

Process to Read Faster While Reading Well

Before you read, think about why you are reading. Are you reading for entertainment, information or to further knowledge? If you are reading for entertainment, the last thing you want to do is to speed read, and miss out on the wonderful imagery in that romance novel or murder mystery. However, if you are reading for information or to further your knowledge, speed reading is the way to go since at least fifty percent of the information is not important.

• Go into Alpha Brainwave State

• Preview
  • For a magazine article – read the first and last paragraph
  • For a journal article – read the abstract, in addition to the first and last paragraph
  • For a book:
    • Read the description of the book that’s given
    • Flip through the book several times using your index finger to move through the pages. If you miss a few pages, keep going until the end. And while you are flipping through the book a few times, make sure that you also do it with the book upside down a few times. (I learned this process in the High Speed Learning Course I took with Lydia Danner, and it works for some reason)
    • If it’s a textbook or one filled with diagrams, look at the chapter titles, all the headings in the book, the words in bold, all diagrams, then flip through the entire book
  • Create a mind map of what you have learned so far
• Overview
  • For an article – read the first sentence of each paragraph, remembering to read groups of words at a time
  • For a book – read the first sentence of each chapter, then glide your finger down the middle of the page
  • Build on the mind map that you have created
• Read
  • Read group of words at a time and use a pencil on your finger to force you to read faster
  • For a book, spend roughly 30 seconds on each page
  • For a two-page magazine article, spend approximately six and a half minutes, reading 400 words per minute
  • Complete the mind map, which is a good refresher for what you have read

What tips do you use to read faster without sacrificing comprehension? How can you use this information? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

Image Credit: Flickr

Meryl K. Evans – Your Invisible Mentor

Here is Part Two of Meryl’s interview. It’s loaded with some solid information. Think about five life lessons that you have learned so far, what are they? Here are Meryl’s five lessons:

1. Appreciate life every day.
2. Take care of myself to ensure I take better care of those in my life.
3. Work with a diversity of people: backgrounds, experiences, generations.
4. Patience!
5. Balance. It’s OK to turn down things that don’t fit your schedule, goals and enjoyment. It’s OK to blog less often.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

From a business perspective, I use the name “content maven” because I do more than writing and editing. I help clients with marketing, press releases, website content, email newsletters. I’m in the business of working with words.

While I don’t introduce myself as a person who is deaf up front because that’s not the only thing I’m about, I’m mentioning it now because it has affected my business and life. Being deaf compelled me to be competitive; to show I’m just as good as or better than everyone in whatever I do. If it weren’t for this and I had hearing, I may have lived a life where I would not have accomplished half as much as I have.

I’m a proud native Texan who has lived in the Dallas-Fort Worth area for all but six years. The non-Texas years were in Washington, D.C. where I graduated from American University, took the first steps of my career landing my first job with the U.S. government and gave birth to the only daughter and non-Texan.

I grew up in Fort Worth and moved to Plano upon my return from D.C. because my husband and I believed Plano was the best place in the DFW area for our kids’ education. By choice, much of my life revolves around my husband, a daughter, two sons and a dog with three personalities and two looks.

How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Working in a home office blurs the line. When my kids are at school, I avoid doing anything else except work, exercise and walk the dog. Once in a while, I’ll throw in a load of laundry or unload the dishwasher. It’s only seven hours between the last kid leaving the house in the morning and the first one coming home. I need to make the most of that time.

I also volunteer, play mah jongg and go to doctor’s appointments during the day. The mah jongg game is a weekly one, but I only go once a month or less. I used to play on a daytime tennis team, but dropped that because it took too much time. I look at the week as a whole when I decide what to do that’s outside of work, exercise and doggy time.

What’s a major regret that you’ve had in life?

In the past, I’ve regretted a few decisions in my life. Now, I no longer regret them. For example, I was smarting over the two job offers in one day for a long time. Eventually, I realized that if I had taken the second job, my life might not be what it is today. That job may not have taken me down the path that led to starting my own business, giving me ability to work from home.

What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

1. Appreciate life every day.
2. Take care of myself to ensure I take better care of those in my life.
3. Work with a diversity of people: backgrounds, experiences, generations.
4. Patience!
5. Balance. It’s OK to turn down things that don’t fit your schedule, goals and enjoyment. It’s OK to blog less often.

When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Reading, watching a movie or recorded program, playing board games with family (when they want to and it’s not Connect Four), playing Words with Friends (ID: merylke) and computer games, attending a show or taking a class.

What process do you use to generate great ideas?

When I’m working on an article, I look for the story. What’s the story that will captivate readers while connecting with the main point of the article?

What’s your favourite quotation and why?

“You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.” –Wayne Gretsky. Something may scare you, but nothing happens if you don’t try. Plenty of things scare me, but my life wouldn’t happen if I didn’t take a shot.

When two big clients went out of business around the same time early in my business, my options were to do something about getting more clients or resign myself to a corporate life. I did the very (I don’t use that word often) uncomfortable thing of emailing people asking for work. One of those was the guy from Minnesota!

Sometimes taking a shot means admitting the uncomfortable thing. You’ll reach the solution faster as opposed to trying to get the other person to come to the conclusion you want.

How do you define success?

The definition is up to you. It’s about living your life the way you want to live it. While having a six-figure job is a dream for many, it doesn’t make you successful unless you love the job, live where you want to be or have the time to do something you love outside of work as those six-figure jobs can consume your free time.

In your opinion what’s the formula for success?

When I lived in Washington, DC, my goal was to move back to Texas and to buy a house. That happened. So is that the end? Not at all. Success is a journey as you reach goals and find new ones. The formula for success involves having an idea in mind that you want to see become a reality and that idea is something you want or love.

I didn’t have formal goals or mini-goals for everything. I just kept the desire in mind and took steps to make it happen — I took the shots rather than wait for them to come to me. Always be learning, too. I’m watching for a master’s degree program that meets my needs. The program will have to wait until I let go of a few commitments or when the kids are older.

What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Lotsa, lotsa reading. Lotsa, lotsa writing. Study editors’ comments and learn from them.

30. What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

The Internet has many, many great resources for becoming a writer and managing a business. Do your research. Read lots. Take a class in writing or business. Many free or cheap classes are available online and locally. Also, don’t become attached to every word or fight the editor over cut words. Sometimes you have to cut a favorite line to make the article or story better.

If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

1. Anne Lamott (author of Bird by Bird): Her writing memoir was funny and educational. While she shares tips, I’d love the one-on-one to learn how to become a better writer. I also wanted to pick an author who did nonfiction since I’m a nonfiction writer.
2. Tina Fey: Based on what I’ve read about her and her 30 Rock character, I feel we have a lot in common except the funny bone. I can be funny, but not on purpose. For me, it’s spontaneous. Who better than the first female writer on Saturday Night Live to learn about writing funny?
3. Mark Cuban: Business and technology genius from the Dallas area. What more can a gal who has a business and loves tech ask for?
4. Steve Jobs: See Mark Cuban plus add creativity and marketing genius.
5. JJ Abrams (creator of LOST): The writing was incredible. I’d ask him about the process and for facts about the characters that didn’t air. I’ve always been interested in script writing.

Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply?

One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way by Robert Maurer. Many of us try to do something and fail, whether it’s to quit smoking or to start exercising. Maurer shows how starting small works better and how to apply it to everything in life.

If you were stranded on a deserted island, what are five books that you would like to have with you and why? Summarize the book in two sentences.

Can I cheat and just say I’ll take a Kindle loaded with hundreds of books? J These are books I have never read. I have a long list of books to read and discover, so I wouldn’t want a book I’ve already read.

1. A Jane Austen book. Since I’ll have time to read it carefully and study Austen’s writing style, it would be a more meaningful read.
2. War and Peace. It’s classic, it’s big and it will keep me occupied for a while.
3. A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. Need to have something nonfiction and relearn some of the things I’ve forgotten.
4. The Art of War. Classic and teaches many great lessons.
5. Another fiction — more recent.

What one music CD and movie would you like to have with you (on the deserted island) and why?

For a CD, I’d say Stephen Sondheim‘s Company musical soundtrack because it’s funny, varied and uplifting. The songs move me; not many CDs can do that with more than one song. Even my youngest likes some of the songs.

If you cannot view the YouTube video excerpt of  Stephen Sondheim’s Company, click here.

Like with books, I rarely watch movies more than once when many undiscovered ones are waiting for me.  Musicals are an exception especially since I catch all of the lyrics through captions. I go through stages where I’d listen to one show repeatedly and then move on.

What excites you about life?

Possibilities. Life is a journey. Events waiting to happen, things waiting for me to learn, memories to make. I look forward to the next thing that makes me smile, gush or answer a Jeopardy! question. These don’t have to be big. My son decided he want to do duty at school. The fact he wanted to get involved with something at school had me kvelling.

How do you nurture your soul?

I recognize and relish moments like my son wanting to do the flags, my teen daughter taking my advice, my little guy sharing a new discovery with me and my husband texting me out of the blue just to connect. And I get my seven to eight hours of sleep. It’s easy to miss out the little things when you don’t get a good night’s sleep.

If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for? Or, if I gave you a magic wand, what would you use it for?

No more wars or terrorism. (Hey, at least, I didn’t say “World peace.” Oops, I just did.) Seriously, we have enough problems to deal with and can do much more without the fighting.

Beyond the cliché response: I’d ask for all three kids to attend the college of their dreams without financial worries or if it has to be for me — I’d ask for a long trip that takes me to as many new places at once so I only have to deal with the “come home” thing once J, or at least double my energy so I can do more and live a long healthy life.

Complete the following, I am happy when…..

I’m spending meaningful and joyful time with family or friends with lots of laughter.

What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.

All book links are affiliate links.

Meryl K. Evans – Your Invisible Mentor

Today and tomorrow I present Meryl K. Evans, a writer who lives in Texas. Though we are all different, we are the same, and all connected, so while reading this week’s interview, look for ways that you are similar to Meryl.

“I accepted a job on the spot instead of telling the company I will get back to them later. A few hours after accepting a job, I got another job offer that was a better fit. This taught me patience — at least, a little more of it. I still have room for more patience, which is important in being a better listener and thinking things through more,” says Meryl when asked to describe one of her biggest failures. Reflecting on Meryl’s response, do you act quickly, or do you prefer to reflect before you act?

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

From a business perspective, I use the name “content maven” because I do more than writing and editing. I help clients with marketing, press releases, website content, email newsletters. I’m in the business of working with words.

While I don’t introduce myself as a person who is deaf up front because that’s not the only thing I’m about, I’m mentioning it now because it has affected my business and life. Being deaf compelled me to be competitive; to show I’m just as good as or better than everyone in whatever I do. If it weren’t for this and I had hearing, I may have lived a life where I would not have accomplished half as much as I have.

I’m a proud native Texan who has lived in the Dallas-Fort Worth area for all but six years. The non-Texas years were in Washington, D.C. where I graduated from American University, took the first steps of my career landing my first job with the U.S. government and gave birth to the only daughter and non-Texan.

I grew up in Fort Worth and moved to Plano upon my return from D.C. because my husband and I believed Plano was the best place in the DFW area for our kids’ education. By choice, much of my life revolves around my husband, a daughter, two sons and a dog with three personalities and two looks.

What’s a typical day like for you?

Every morning begins with reading the newspaper. I could go to my office for instant news on the Internet, but there’s no starting point. There’s no ending point to tell me to stop. A newspaper does that. A newspaper also encourages me to read about topics I wouldn’t look for on the Internet.

Next, I hit the road a few feet to my home office to check emails and Twitter. I schedule a few tweets to spread them throughout the day rather than have them go boom, boom, boom. People sign in at different times and it helps to reach them. Besides, folks don’t want to see one person dominating their Twitter stream.

The rest of the day varies based on day of the week, current deadlines and projects. I love the variety in my job. The only consistent thing is how I start the day and a workout about an hour before or after lunch. In fact, I’m taking a break right here to go exercise. Back shortly.

Great workout. Thanks for excusing me.

Also important is a consistent bedtime to ensure I get seven to eight hours of sleep every night or else I don’t function well the next day.

How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

Remember the competitive thing? It keeps me going to ensure I stay on top and competitive. The world waits for no one.

Habits are also a motivator. When something is a habit, you come to expect it and crave it. Think about how you start your day. It comes naturally to you. Bet you have a hankering for events, occasions, food items and activities on certain days of the week, times of the day and times of the year.

Sure, I have days when I feel like I can’t push myself to write an article. Deadlines help and I often stay ahead. Waiting until the last minute doesn’t work. For one, I might not be in the best writing frame of mind. Doing it a few days before when I’m in the mood ensures better results including time to “sit on it” so I can edit my drafts with fresh eyes.

Second, problems come up. What if in the middle of writing, I find a problem with a quote or fact? Putting off the work could mean deleting a paragraph with potential instead of spending time to fix the problem.

When I’m stuck or struggle with motivation, I do something else. It’s hard not to be motivated when you have bills to pay. Besides, I struggle with the concept of “Don’t do something, sit there.” I feel guilty if I do that.

If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

I have no regrets in how I managed my business and myself. Everything I learned along the way helped me today.

What’s the most important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year?

Many Americans are proud to admit they haven’t taken a vacation in years. Not me. Yes, I take a day off here and there and even a whole week off, but I don’t go anywhere or visit museums. Anyway, an invitation to a family event in New Hampshire arrived. I asked my mom to see if she wanted to go together. She said that we’d have to fly into Boston and take a shuttle to Nashua, NH.

I’ve longed to travel to a city or country that I’ve never visited. Boston was one of them. We decided to turn it into a short vacation and left two days earlier to see Boston.

We had a wonderful time. While everything went smoothly, coming home did not. I lost my mojo. My habits failed me. I struggled to get back into routine for the whole week. It took enormous effort to exercise and my body fought the whole workout.

Habits. Schedules. Organization. I learned these make a difference in my life. (That and I don’t want to take a trip again for a while because I’m not ready for another “come home” experience.)

What’s one of the biggest advances in your industry over the past five years?

Most writers would say — and it’s true — epublishing, ebooks, ereaders. But for many writers and me, it’s social media. It helps us connect with readers, experts, build platforms and stay in touch.

What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

1. My energy. I’m not a high energy person in that I can’t go, go, go. Yes, I work out. Yes, I eat right. I can’t constantly work long hours and I’m strict about what I take on — projects, volunteer, anything. I work with this by prioritizing and maintaining balance.
2. My family. My family comes first. Sometimes one thing comes up after another that it disrupts work. I try to be proactive by spreading our appointments or squeezing in as many appointments in a single session. (For example, all five of us had our eye checkups at the same time.)
3. Blogs and online content: These give everyday people the opportunity to become writers. I know not all of them are good quality or paid assignments. With so many resources, they can’t all succeed in making a profit and paying for writers. Sometimes I fear I’ll lose my edge with many writers out there going for the same assignments. I keep working, keep marketing and keep keeping on — adjusting as needed by taking a class or reading up on the latest. Also, I’ve been blogging since 2000 and don’t update as often as in the past due to a busier schedule and higher priorities. I struggle with this, but I also realize it’s what I have to do to maintain balance.

What’s unique about the service that you provide?

Me. That sounds arrogant, but I built my business to be a one-person business with a personal touch. No one can imitate me (it’s tough to imitate my deaf accent – heh), my knowledge, my personality.

I go out of my way to ensure clients are happy and make things right if something doesn’t go as expected. Being a Texan, I’m friendly and am not an “all business, all the time” person. I get to know clients without taking away their valuable time. I also send them a handwritten thank you note every year.

I sent an invitation to a family event to one client who became a friend. He and his wife flew to Texas from Minnesota. It was the first time we met in person. That happened because of who I am and the service I provide.

What do you observe most people in your field doing badly that you think you do well?

People take too long to respond. I’ve been on projects where others were slow to reply and complete tasks. Even if you don’t have the answers right away, let others know you’re working on it so they don’t think their request got forgotten, lost or ignored.

Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it.

I noticed I kept putting off work for a client, something that was not the norm for me. I looked at the situation and realized I liked the client, but not the work. I needed to let go of the work. Although it wasn’t easy to break up with the client, it gave me the time and energy to focus on other things I enjoy.

What lessons did you learn in the process?

I became more aware of the work I do and how it affects me. I’m not going to dump every boring work or disliked assignment. Every job — including dream jobs — has dull moments. Dreading the work constantly and boredom are two different things. I’ve been doing some of the work I do for a long time that sometimes I get bored. Yet, I have moments of excitement and “WOW” for the same work.

Tell me about your big break and who gave it to you.

Molly Holzschlag (www.molly.com) gave me my first paid writing assignment. I can’t recall how I connected with her for the assignment, but the assignment turned me into a paid writer with a reputable magazine. Score for my portfolio.

Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

I accepted a job on the spot instead of telling the company I will get back to them later. A few hours after accepting a job, I got another job offer that was a better fit. This taught me patience — at least, a little more of it. I still have room for more patience, which is important in being a better listener and thinking things through more.

What has been your biggest disappointment in your life – and what are you doing to prevent its reoccurrence?

While growing up, I played loads of sports. While it helped in many areas, it turned me into a competitive machine. As I said earlier, that competitive streak in me helped me accomplish a lot.

The coaches didn’t select me for a tournament team because I displayed poor sportsmanship after losing a game. I remembered that for the rest of my life and worked hard to keep my competitiveness in check. Still do.

What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

Dropping a client. Although tough to do, it led to more energy and less drain. People are afraid to drop a client because they need the income. Think about the energy you get back — it could be enough to replace the dropped client with two new ones.

What are three events that helped to shape your life?

• Life cycles. Birth, marriage and children. I couldn’t do this interview if I weren’t born. I love having a companion to experience life together. So much of what I enjoy involves my children and it has pushed me to become a more organized and creative person.
• After a long time away from home at sleep away camp, I couldn’t wait to get home. Not to see my parents — I already saw them when they picked me up at camp. As soon as I entered my house, I raced to the back to the home office where I met the new Apple ][+ computer.

That computer led to my joining bulletin board systems (BBSes) and meeting people online — one of which was my husband. It’s not just meeting my husband, but the fact I could communicate with people without the telephone. Thanks to the online world, I could build a business as a writer because I could directly connect with people without a mediator.

• When I turned 13, my parents gave me this big ugly brown box for my birthday. Dad hooked it to the TV and turn on a specific program. Words appeared. Ohmygosh! I understood what people said! That was the first time I ever watched a show with closed-captions.

Captions let me learn many new things, discover songs I liked and experience a show or movie with friends and family without asking, “What did she say?” Y’all know that watching movies and shows can bring people together as they talk about it afterward or react together.

17. What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

I landed my first book deal for Brilliant Outlook Pocketbook in April 2007. After completing all the paperwork and getting the information I needed to start the book, I had three weeks to finish it. (It was part of a series.) About a week after I started working on it, my dad had a stroke and it looked grim.

My parents still lived an hour away in Fort Worth. I hauled the laptop and drove there almost daily. Whenever I opened the laptop, it was to check emails and play a game that I was reviewing. I couldn’t write while at the hospital. The situation was dire for about a week and then Dad pulled through enough that I didn’t have to go as often.

I didn’t ask for an extension because one of the other series authors was in the hospital and the publisher couldn’t extend it for her. Somehow, I finished the book on time. Dad passed away December 2007. The experience taught me two things: I could write a book and I need to have a greater appreciation for people and life.

I’m still shocked that I wrote a book in three weeks in the middle of a family crisis.

How did mentors influence your life?

I’m hard on myself. Rarely what I do is good enough for me. My mentors helped me see I’m good at what I do.

What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

It’s OK — not arrogance — to know and admit you’re good at something.

As an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

“When mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Take care of yourself first. When you don’t, it affects people around you.

What are five great ideas that you gleaned from the interview? What do you have to add to the conversation? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the right hand side) by email or RSS Feed.