The Invisible Mentor

Archive for March, 2010

Recently I had a blog post on How to Master a Subject. It was a good blog post and some readers really appreciated it, but I realized that there is a step, a precursor to it. If you are investing the time to master a subject, it makes sense that you choose an area that you have an interest in as well as an affinity for.

If you do not already know what your interests are, or if you want to test what you think, the first step in this process is to conduct a Personal SWOT Analysis (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities & Threats).

Personal SWOT Analysis

Answering the questions in the above table creates an inventory of Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats, which will determine possible areas to achieve mastery in. Develop ways to use strengths to exploit opportunities and avoid or defuse threats. In what ways could you exploit your knowledge and wisdom to create a niche market?

Please keep the conversation flowing, click on the comment link below and leave a note for me. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the left side) by email or RSS Feed. I created a Mini Learning Toolkit and you can grab a copy by clicking here.

For your research and writing needs, consider my firm Ambeck Enterprise for white papers, articles, fact sheets, anniversary booklets, you name it. Since I am the best kept secret you may not know this, but I have over 15 years research and writing experience. I KNOW content. And if you cannot figure out which books to read for professional development, I am your WOMAN. I can assist you with that too. Visit my sales page for resources such as The Invisible Mentor Toolkit to assist you in acquiring wisdom from a distance. For free white papers click here.

Related Articles

How to Master a Subject
How to Fill the Information Gap
How to Fill the Information Gap Part Two
How to Fill the Information Gap (when you don’t know there is a gap) Part Three

Photo Credit: Yahoo via Apture

This week I present 28-year old Jonathan Wong.  When I interview people I do not prompt them, and I let them answer questions the way that they want, and there is a certain beauty in that approach because inevitably I uncover a goldmine of information. This interview is not a traditional one because I asked only a few of the questions. After I completed the interview I agonized over whether or not I should post it because of some of the information that came out. In the end I decided to include it because it may help someone. We all have dark and  light aspects within ourselves and we have to find a way to live with them. And according to “the U.S. Department of Labor, 10 percent of all U.S. workers have a substance abuse problem. Whether employees use alcohol, illicit drugs, prescription drugs, or other substances, their behaviors can have a profound impact on the workplace.” Source

The interview contains some personal information, but I think there are some potent lessons for us to learn from Jonathan’s experience. He got involved with the wrong crowd, used drugs, and at one point was in a detention center. This is a great reminder to us to be careful who we allow into our circle of influence. Do you yield to peer pressure, or do you stand your ground?

When Jonathan has some down time one of the things he does is grab a ball and play catch. One day I bumped into Jonathan and he asked me if I would play catch with him. For those of you who know me, can you picture me playing catch? I find it interesting that the person that Jonathan most want to meet is his younger self, read why? This reminded me of an interview I did with Gail Blanke for my book Tales of People Who Get It. The book that had a profound impact on Gail’s life was indeed the play Our Town by Thornton Wilder. Here is what Gail said:

It wasn’t a book but the play Our Town by Thornton Wilder. I saw this play when I was 10 years old and I have never forgotten it because it had such a profound impact on me. After I saw it, I made a promise to always let people know how much I love them, and I have kept that promise to this day.

Set at the turn of the 20th century, in the small town of Grover’s Corners, New Hampshire, U.S.A., the play reveals the ordinary lives of the people, the tale of love, marriage and death and daily life. The play is centered on a woman, Emily, who dies during childbirth and wants to go back. Those who died before her allow her to go back for a day. Emily chooses to go back on her twelfth birthday. On her twelfth birthday she sees her family and suddenly realizes how much she took things for granted. She didn’t appreciate how wonderful she had it at the time. Emily realizes how precious life is.

This play is about seizing the moment and living life fully in the moment. At 10 years old I made the promise, which I have kept, to let those near and dear to me know how much I love and appreciate them.

Excerpt from Tales of People Who Get It page 135 – An Interview With Gail Blanke

I included the excerpt because I thought it relevant to Jonathan’s experience. While reading Jonathan’s interview instead of judging or criticizing, let us look at the potent lessons we can take away. If you met Jonathan, it would be very difficult for you to guess his past. He has blossomed into a fine young man and it shows that it’s never too late to change. In what areas of your life do you need to change? Is there an issue in your personal or professional life that you are ignoring? I am saying this to you as much as I am saying it to myself? Please read the article that I wrote, Do You Have the Courage to Re-invent Yourself? Jonathan’s family runs three very successful restaurant businesses in Toronto, Canada but he has decided to find his own path.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

I am charismatic, outgoing, I like to be active and I really enjoy close interactions because I find that people are really interesting. To be out and about and around people is a lot of fun for me.

Describe a major business or other challenge you had and how you resolved it.

When I was 18 and early twenties I got involved with some characters who liked to use drugs and I got involved in that. I learned some lessons from that experience, and my memory and thought processes would have been a lot better if I hadn’t gotten involved with that. It is an interesting experience that I had to go through and I overcame what was holding me back and holding me in that position. I had a couple of near death experiences and it’s something that I never want to ever experience again, and that helped me to get out of that and make a change.

What lessons did you learn in the process?

1. I learned to surround myself with positive people
2. I learned that though I do like to interact with all kinds of people, there are some that you should stay out of arm’s reach from. I still have childhood friends that I would still like to keep in touch with but it’s very difficult because they are still doing drugs, and I can see their mental deterioration and altered personalities and we have gone two ways. We used to be able to have fun and joke around but now it’s very awkward around them, so it’s best for me to stay away from those people.

As an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

In the video below, Jonathan assumes the role of invisible mentor and give us some advice he thinks is important. Watch the short video and let me know what you think.

Jonathan Wong Assumes the Role of Invisible Mentor from Avil Beckford on Vimeo.

What’s a major regret that you’ve had in life?

I would like to say that I do not have any regrets, but there are a couple of things that I’ve gone through. I was involved with a woman not too long ago, and we were together for a few months but I realized that I did not want to be with her so I ended the relationship. Shortly after that I discovered that she was pregnant and she gave me the option of being with her and the child and I freaked out because I was young and didn’t have a job. I also told her that I didn’t want to be with her. After about a week later I came to my senses and I told her that I wanted to help raise my child, and by that time she didn’t want to have anything to do with me. I regret that I do not get to spend a lot of time with my child and when I get visitation it’s not for a long time.

What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

1. Always be active, to be in good physical shape is very important
2. Always be assertive and that doesn’t mean that you go for every opportunity that comes your way, but you should certainly investigate them to determine if they are right for you
3. Cherish your family and do not allow anything to come between you and them. Resolve whatever issues you have and get your ego out of the way. Also learn how to apologize and things will work themselves out
4. Learn to slow down and appreciate life, even doing something as simple as watching the sunrise or sunset, watching the trees shape sun rays as they sway in the wind can bring you serenity
5. It’s important co-operate with others in the workplace

When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

I play cards, video and board games, hang out with friends and sometimes I grab a ball and play catch outside.

What process do you use to generate great ideas?

When I was younger I used to listen to music and that would help with my sketching and painting. What I felt from listening to the music came out on the paper.

What’s your favourite quotation and why?

I got into trouble when I was eighteen and there were two characters involved in that incident. When I was in the detention center, my mother came to visit me and she told me that “The truth shall set you free.” And after that, I could not, not tell the truth. I stopped doing a lot of things and I couldn’t stand there and not open the doors for others. That was a very powerful phrase for me.

How do you define success?

Success is something that you attain and it’s not always through wealth. I also think that as long as you are happy in what you are doing, making enough money to put food on the table, and take out your partner once in a while, you are successful.

In your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Be hardworking, make sound decisions and research what you are going to do and think about how you are going to approach things.

If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

There is only one person that I’d like to meet and that’s my younger self. So if I could go back into my past, I would like to talk to myself. I was a very shy child, and I came out of it when I was in Junior High, so I would tell him not to be afraid and that everything would be okay, and that whatever was troubling him, he should not worry about it. And I would try to bring him out of his shyness. I think that my past reflects my future so if I could have gotten to him earlier I would be a different person now, and also more of a go-getter.

What excites you about life?

The future excites me about life, not knowing what’s going to happen. Life is like a strategic game, you set something up, and you take different paths and it’s exciting not knowing where you’ll end up.

If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for? Or, if I gave you a magic wand, what would you use it for?

I would wish for wellness and happiness because I think that those are two very important things.

Complete the following, I am happy when…..

I’m surrounded by loved one and friends.

What are five takeaways from Jonathan’s interview?

Lessons

1. There is truth to the adage, “Show me your company and I’ll tell you who you are,” so be careful who you let into your sphere of influence.
2. No one is perfect and we’ll forever make mistakes, but the trick is to learn from our mistakes.
3. Explore opportunities that come your way to determine if the fit is right for you.
4. Cherish your friends and family.
5. True success isn’t about money.
6. Take time to enjoy life

Another lesson I gleaned from Jonathan’s interview is beautifully summarized in the poem Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place
but, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

Portia Nelson, 1920 – 2001, There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk

Please keep the conversation flowing, click on the comment link below and leave a note for me. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the left side) by email or RSS Feed. I created a Mini Learning Toolkit and you can grab a copy by clicking here.

For your research and writing needs, consider my firm Ambeck Enterprise for white papers, articles, fact sheets, anniversary booklets, you name it. Since I am the best kept secret you may not know this, but I have over 15 years research and writing experience. I KNOW content. And if you cannot figure out which books to read for professional development, I am your WOMAN. I can assist you with that too. Visit my sales page for resources such as The Invisible Mentor Toolkit to assist you in acquiring wisdom from a distance. For free white papers click here.

Related Posts

Learning from our Mistakes, Or Not

Do you have a difficult problem that you are trying to solve? A systematic approach to problem solving will make your task that much simpler. Below is a process to assist you, follow the steps in How to Read to Solve a Problem and record the information in the problem solver template. Read the blog posts How to Problem Solve and Reverse Problem Solving: When You Must Have a Certain Outcome for additional information. Information from this post was extracted from the Invisible Mentor Toolkit which I developed to assist you in acquiring information and knowledge from a distance.

How to Read to Solve a Problem

1. Describe a problem that you are having in your organization simply, clearly and not too broadly or narrowly.
2. Uncover the facts surrounding the problem
3. What are the underlying causes of the problem?
   1. Are the underlying causes internal or external to the organization?
   2. Are the underlying causes solvable?
4. Look at problems in many different ways, and find new perspectives that no one else has taken
5. On a blank sheet of paper do a brain dump for 15 minutes, writing down as many answers and solutions to the problem. If necessary, go back to Step 1 and redefine the problem
6. Compile a bibliography of books that could potentially help to resolve the problem?
   1. Ask colleagues for book recommendations
   2. Ask subject matter experts for recommendations
   3. Check the bibliography of scholarly journals and books on the topic
   4. Search the catalogues, or ask a librarian at a good reference library to find titles
7. Spend half a day at the library inspecting[1] the books listed in the compiled bibliography to:
   1. Whittle down the number of titles on the list
   2. Get a cursory understanding of the topic/situation
   3. Determine which  books say anything important about the topic of interest
8. With a cursory understanding of the subject:
   1. Develop questions you are trying to answer or issues to resolve
   2. Clarify the information that you are seeking. Distinguish between ‘must know’ and ‘nice to know’
   3. Write down the elements of what you require
   4. How will you know when you have found the answers?
9. Inspect the books identified as relevant to solving the problem
   1. Find the most relevant passages and record page numbers
   2. Record the answers to the questions by authors (Refer to the Problem Solver Template)
10. Read and analyze all the information gathered
    1. Distill the information germane to the problem
    2. Compare and contrast the answers to each question
    3. Reorganize the information in many ways. Combine, and recombine, ideas, and thoughts into different combinations no matter how incongruent or unusual
    4. Draw conclusions and identify possible solutions (Do not limit yourself to what has been done before but be open to new and better alternative solutions)
    5. Which option best serves the organization?
    6. Is the option consistent with the mission, goals and objectives of the organization
    7. Select the best option
11. Implement the solution
12. Evaluate the solution
13. If the solution does not work, repeat Step 10 c through to 10 d

[1] Refer to How To Read A Book: The Classic Guide to Intelligent Reading to find out how to quickly inspect a book.

The Problem Solver Template

Title of Book/Name of Author

Why is Author Qualified to Answer?

Question1

Answer 1/Page Found

Question2

Answer 2/Page Found

Question 3

Answer 3/Page Found

Question 4

Answer 4/Page Found

Question 5

Answer 5/Page Found

Let me know what you think about the questions. It is my vow to assist you on your professional development journey. If there are additional ways that I may be of service please let me know.

Click on the comment link below and leave a note for me. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the left side) by email or RSS Feed. I created a Mini Learning Toolkit and you can grab a copy by clicking here.

For your research and writing needs, consider my firm Ambeck Enterprise for white papers, articles, fact sheets, anniversary booklets, you name it. Since I am the best kept secret you may not know this, but I have over 15 years research and writing experience. I KNOW content. And if you cannot figure out which books to read for professional development, I am your WOMAN. I can assist you with that too. Visit my sales page for resources such as The Invisible Mentor Toolkit to assist you in acquiring wisdom from a distance. For free white papers click here.

Photo Credit: Google via Apture

Related Resources

Inspirer, Reflector, Innovator or Influencer, Which One Are You?

What Type of Problem Solver Are You?

The Importance of Problem-Solving by Ken Watanabe

Do you say yes to experiences, or do you close yourself up? I am learning to say yes and open myself up, and the possibilities are endless. Recently, I have been asked to give interviews, and I have been saying yes, and the opportunities keep on coming to me. I was asked to be one of three panelists talking about social media to students at Seneca College. I told them I was willing to speak, but should not be considered an expert. They reviewed the body of work I had done and told me that they considered me to be an expert.

I was surprised by how much I was able to contribute to the conversation, and I felt really good about myself. Are you saying no to potential opportunities because you do not think you are qualified enough? Step outside of your comfort zone and get into the game.

A few days ago I saw an opportunity for a project that seemed like fun. I had about 65 percent of the requirements of what they are looking for so I wrote the one page letter they requested. I will not be sad if I do not get it, but I would be very happy if I did. And I feel good that at least I tried. Do you apply for contracts, positions, even if you do not have 100 percent of the requirements? I was taught that if you have at least 50 percent of the requirements you should go for it.

And, when you are walking down the street and you see something interesting, do you stop and appreciate what’s right there in front of you, or are you always in a rush. For one week try saying yes more often to new opportunities and experiences, and see which doors open up to you. While I was walking up Yonge Street, one of the longest streets in the world, here’s what I saw, enjoy the video.

Man Playing Drums on Sidewalk in Downtown Toronto from Avil Beckford on Vimeo.

Please keep the conversation flowing, click on the comment link below and leave a note for me. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the left side) by email or RSS Feed. I created a Mini Learning Toolkit and you can grab a copy by clicking here.

For your research and writing needs, consider my firm Ambeck Enterprise for white papers, articles, fact sheets, anniversary booklets, you name it. Since I am the best kept secret you may not know this, but I have over 15 years research and writing experience. I KNOW content. And if you cannot figure out which books to read for professional development, I am your WOMAN. I can assist you with that too. Visit my sales page for resources such as The Invisible Mentor Toolkit to assist you in acquiring wisdom from a distance. For free white papers click here.

Today, we present the second part of Carolyn Barber’s interview. As I was reviewing Carolyn’s interview, and assuming the role of an objective bystander (Carolyn is a friend), relationships are important to her and she nurtures them. Do you appreciate and nurture the people in your life? You will also notice that wanting a partner to share her life with is a recurring theme. Do you value your significant other, or do you take them for granted? Take time today, to let them know how much you value and care for them, it’s important.

Her formula for success is “doing the best you can with what you have,” reminded me of Duke Redbird’s formula for success, “when you get what you want.” And my mind was transported to my blog post Who You Gonna Call When You Need a Backer because I talked about having the character MacGyver from the hit TV show of the same name on my team if I were in a tight corner because he was always able to work with whatever he had to find a very workable solution. How about for today, we worked with what we have instead of lamenting over what we do not have. Incidentally, Carolyn and Duke are around the same age. And the tagline for MacGyver is “His mind is the ultimate weapon.” Isn’t that a great tagline?

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

I am a 70-year old, single woman living in Riverdale, Toronto. I have a part-time business in nutritional counseling that I started when I was 62 after retiring early as a nutritionist in public health. My career is a fairly important to me and it takes up a couple of days of my life. I am quite involved with my church and it’s a big part of my life and friendships. And perhaps the main reason for me being at the church is the community that it offers to me aside from the spiritual aspect which would be secondary for me. My family of three kids and four grandchildren are also really important to me. I am also a very active person. My favourite outdoor activities are camping and canoeing together. I also like biking and hiking, and for indoors, my passion is cooking. I am quite interested in the art scene in Toronto: opera, theatre, and music of various sorts such as the Toronto Consort. I keep quite busy.

How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

When I find that my personal and professional lives are not integrated, I am not happy, so I go back to journaling and list making. And, I spend more time thinking about spiritual issues, meditating, and this helps me to get back on track. Being outdoors also helps me to have the will to get my head on straight.

What’s a major regret that you’ve had in life?

A lack of a partner.

What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

1. Be true to your feelings about things.
2. Pay attention to things that excite or madden you because they are important to who you are, and helps you to clearly see who you are.
3. Exercise is important. When I am fit and active, it gives me more confidence to go ahead and get organized in my life. Without fitness, I would have to completely revamp how I do things.
4. Create friendships, invest in them and honor them.

When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Because I live alone I tend to find activities which involve friends, might be around going to music concerts, talking, or eating.

What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Writing, journaling and networking with people in my field.

What’s your favourite quotation and why?

I don’t have one, I have never thought of it.

How do you define success?

Knowing that you feel passionate about something that you love and acting on that passion.

In your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Success is doing the best you can with what you have.

What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Get the proper credentials that are recognized by the people who care about them. Set goals, both personal and professional. I got a notebook and started writing and making lists, what I wanted, what I would try to do in a year, and they were fairly sketchy, but I achieved them. Pay attention to trends, I have always done that even in my work in public health, I would get interested in a new trend like environmental nutrition, and I spoke about it at a conference once. Another trend was multiculturalism and nutrition, and at one point I found Public Health Multicultural Nutrition Network, and we met and talked about foods from different cultures back when the Canadian Food Guide was all about Canadian food.  I am not sure why I latched on to those things, I am not sure what happened, I just thought because there weren’t many talking about it I could be at the forefront and be seen as a spokesperson, and that actually put me in good stead and helped me to move ahead. Also going into complementary nutrition was an odd thing to do but I sort of enjoy those trends, I don’t know why.

What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Pay attention to what you really enjoy in that field, try to get good at it, try to learn as much as you can about a certain segment and try to specialize to some degree. If you discover something that you find fascinating, explore it because that’s how you make contacts and that’s how you’re seen to be passionate, and this is where I think that you can sell yourself the best.

If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

1. The first one is Adelle Davis who is in my field and wrote books back in the 60s on alternative nutrition. She was at the forefront of the alternative nutrition field. I would ask her what convinced her that this was the right way to go, and I would like to know about some of her success stories and ask her for advice on how I was proceeding in my career.
2. Henry David Thoreau who wrote the books on living in the wilderness and what you can learn from the experience. A lot of my deepest feelings came from being in the wilderness. I would ask him when did this urge to live on his own and explore his spirituality through living in the wilderness started. I am always interested in beginnings, the roots of things, the little things that happened that helped to shape you.
3. The third person is Jesus because I think that he would be so approachable. I want to know about his teenage years, what happened there, how he spent that time.
4. I would like to meet Pema Chödrön, an ordained Buddhist nun who has a centre in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia Canada. I like her books especially The Places That Scare You. I like her because her writing is about ordinary life, the simple things that happen in your life are important, and they are all worthy of thinking of, perhaps honoring more. I think the biggest lesson that I learned from her is honoring more the hard times you have, the black spots that you have because they teach you things.

Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply? Did you have an emotional or intellectual attachment to this book? Why?

The Artist Way by Julia Cameron with its stepwise approach, and again it’s about honoring the childish side of yourself, to play, to have time that’s just for you, that’s not trying to be better, or doing your duties was a huge revelation for me when I saw how difficult that was to do.

If you were stranded on a deserted island, what are five books that you would like to have with you and why? Summarize the book in two sentences.

1. I would take a book on Buddhism like one of the Pema Chödrön books that I can keep on going back to because every time that I read those kinds of books I see something completely different and think that I have never seen that page before even though I have read it many times so I find new meanings in it which applies to everyday life and a desert island very well.
2. I would probably take the Bible because I don’t know anything about it. I never read the bible because it doesn’t mean much to me.
3. I would probably take a mythology book. I don’t read mythology but something with a lot of stories would go on forever and you would find new meanings and how it could apply to you is important to culture moving on.
4. I have been to Africa on a safari, so I would probably want a book on African animals so that I could remember that they exist, all pictures of things that wouldn’t exist on that island.

What one music CD and movie would you like to have with you (on the deserted island) and why?

I would probably take a CD of Sergei Rachmaninoff, classical music that has a lot of piano in it, it’s just beautiful.

I would take a recent movie Departures a fabulous movie.

What excites you about life?

One thing that I like about life is coincidences… they happen and seem mysterious… like when you meet someone that you are thinking of… and when something happens that dovetails with what you need. That excites me.

How do you nurture your soul?

I nurture my soul in the outdoors mostly, and I like being creative in my house, cooking and talking one-to-one with friends.

If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for? Or, if I gave you a magic wand, what would you use it for?

I would wish for a partner, whether it would be someone to live with, that I do not know, but someone that I felt that I could really share everything about myself.

Complete the following, I am happy when…..

I’m sharing experiences with someone who loves to be in an activity that I love.

What are five takeaways from Carolyn’s interview? In what ways can you apply Carolyn’s teachings to your life? In what ways are you similar to, and different from Carolyn?

Please keep the conversation flowing, click on the comment link below and leave a note for me. Many readers read this blog from other sites, so why don’t you pop over to The Invisible Mentor and subscribe (top on the left side) by email or RSS Feed. I created a Mini Learning Toolkit and you can grab a copy by clicking here.

All links to books are affiliate links

For your research and writing needs, consider my firm Ambeck Enterprise for white papers, articles, fact sheets, anniversary booklets, you name it. Since I am the best kept secret you may not know this, but I have over 15 years research and writing experience. I KNOW content. And if you cannot figure out which books to read for professional development, I am your WOMAN. I can assist you with that too. Visit my sales page for resources such as The Invisible Mentor Toolkit to assist you in acquiring wisdom from a distance. For free white papers click here.