The Invisible Mentor

Archive for November, 2009

Below are three tales taken from Aesop‘s Fables with incredible life lessons that we can apply today. Aesop’s Fables are in the public domain and you can download a copy from Project Gutenberg.

The Lion, the Fox, and the Beasts

The Lion once gave out that he was sick unto death and summoned the animals to come and hear his last Will and Testament. So the Goat came to the Lion’s cave, and stopped there listening for a long time. Then a Sheep went in, and before she came out a Calf came up to receive the last wishes of the Lord of the Beasts. But soon the Lion seemed to recover, and came to the mouth of his cave, and saw the Fox, who had been waiting outside for some time. “Why do you not come to pay your respects to me?” said the Lion to the Fox.

“I beg your Majesty’s pardon,” said the Fox, “but I noticed the track of the animals that have already come to you; and while I see many hoof-marks going in, I see none coming out. Till the animals that have entered your cave come out again I prefer to remain in the open air.”

Lesson: It is easier to get into the enemy’s toils than out again.

The Hare With Many Friends

A Hare was very popular with the other beasts who all claimed to be her friends. But one day she heard the hounds approaching and hoped to escape them by the aid of her many Friends. So, she went to the horse, and asked him to carry her away from the hounds on his back. But he declined, stating that he had important work to do for his master. “He felt sure,” he said, “that all her other friends would come to her assistance.” She then applied to the bull, and hoped that he would repel the hounds with his horns. The bull replied: “I am very sorry, but I have an appointment with a lady; but I feel sure that our friend the goat will do what you want.” The goat, however, feared that his back might do her some harm if he took her upon it. The ram, he felt sure, was the proper friend to apply to. So she went to the ram and told him the case. The ram replied: “Another time, my dear friend. I do not like to interfere on the present occasion, as hounds have been known to eat sheep as well as hares.” The Hare then applied, as a last hope, to the calf, who regretted that he was unable to help her, as he did not like to take the responsibility upon himself, as so many older persons than himself had declined the task. By this time the hounds were quite near, and the Hare took to her heels and luckily escaped.

Lesson: He that has many friends, has no friends.

The Crow and the Pitcher

A Crow, half-dead with thirst, came upon a Pitcher which had once been full of water; but when the Crow put its beak into the mouth of the Pitcher he found that only very little water was left in it, and that he could not reach far enough down to get at it. He tried, and he tried, but at last had to give up in despair. Then a thought came to him, and he took a pebble and dropped it into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped it into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into the Pitcher. At last, at last, he saw the water mount up near him, and after casting in a few more pebbles he was able to quench his thirst and save his life.

Lesson: Little by little does the trick. And, necessity if the mother of invention.

What are you thoughts on the tales? What other lessons might you learn from them? When you feel let down by friends, what do you do? Do you first assess the situation like the fox, or do you go in blindly  and trusting like the beasts? Do you panic in tough situations, or are you innovative with your solutions? Which characters do you liken yourself to in the fables? Let’s keep the conversation going, please comment.

Photo Credit: Public Domain

Related articles by Zemanta

• Clever Crows Prove Aesop’s Fable Is More Than Fiction (wired.com)

A few weeks ago I did a favor for someone and they didn’t say thanks, which ticked me off. Originally I was going to charge him but he couldn’t afford to pay, since he needed the information badly,  I gave it to him for free. I was complaining to a friend and she instructed me to let it go because another person will do a kind deed for me. I think the thing which irked me the most is that he behaved as if he could afford my service, and when I realized that he couldn’t, I gave it to him and he then behaved as if the service wasn’t valuable. I took my friend’s advice and let go.

But, while going through book reviews I wrote a few years ago, I came across the review of Anyway: The Paradoxical Commandments by Kent M. Keith. I really needed to be reminded of The 10 Paradoxical Commandments. This post is as much for me as it is for you. We (myself included) should never do things expecting gratitude or praise in return. Please let me know what you think.

Here are The 10 Paradoxical Commandments, which are an excerpt from Anyway: The Paradoxical Commandments, Kent M. Keith:

The 10 Paradoxical Commandments

1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centred. Love them anyway.
2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
3. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
6. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.
7. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
9. People really need help but may attack you if you help them. Help people anyway.
10. Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway

If you have never read Anyway: The Paradoxical Commandments by Kent M. Keith, pick up a copy today, it’s an easy read. The story goes that “The Paradoxical Commandments,” which was first written as a poem had hung on the wall of  Mother Theresa‘s  children’s home in Calcutta, India.

What are your thoughts about The 10 Paradoxical Commandments? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please comment.

Image Credit: Bing via Apture

During a period of incredible change, I though that I’d revisit  email interviews I conducted a few years ago where the interviewees explained how to switch careers. Read and let me know what you think.

Simon Grant

I have walked away from a career twice. The first time I did it for love (met a woman on holiday, moved to Sweden, worked washing dishes till I got a chance to start again in a Swedish company in a new industry). The second time I simply stopped having fun in my career and so quit and went backpacking for a year with my now wife, changed country again and had to start from (almost) scratch again.

In both cases and as a general guide, I think a successful transition is about understanding that you need to “earn your stripes” with those whom you start working with. You should never expect respect. Gaining respect is not just about what you know or the decisions you make, but, about the passion that you bring to your role and how you treat your co-workers. It’s not impossible, but it’s damn hard to be successful without the support and respect of your co-workers.

Nanci Govinder

Moving from one career to another is perhaps one of the most stressful and enjoyable experiences one can have in one’s professional life. Often people do not fulfill their true desires in terms of a career as they studied to do something and are fearful of change. I have made many transitions in my professional life and loved each step–from a scientist to a career in marketing and general management, to a research associate in an international business school to currently being a coach, teacher and speaker.

Here are some tips to change careers I would like to share with you:

Be clear about what you want

Deep down, we all know what we truly desire but are too afraid to even articulate it to ourselves. To get started, write down some things that you achieved between the ages of 5-10, 10-15, 15-20, 20-25. These must be things that bring a smile to your face when you recall them.

Write it down

This is a really important step as seeing your ‘dream’ on paper, starts the process of making it a reality. If you just talk about it or think about it, it remains just that, a pipe dream.

Find role models or mentors

During this process, people close to you tend to project their fears on you and tell you what a bad idea it is and how foolish you are to leave a ‘good job with good prospects blah, blah, blah.’ Don’t listen to them. They are just projecting their fears.

Transition part-time

We all have financial commitments and obligations and it can be a big step to make dramatic changes. Find ways to ease into your new career if you can. I reduced my full-time job to three days a week and spent the other two days working on my company and creating my network. When the time came to leave, I felt confident and at ease to work full time in my company.

List your fears

We all have fears. We are afraid of failure, being embarrassed, humiliated, being successful and so on. What are you afraid of? It’s important to state your fear and to realize that fear is just a thought or belief that you have

These are the tips that Simon and Nanci would like to share with you if you decided that you wanted a career change.

Let’s keep the conversation going, please comment. If you enjoy this blog please help to spread the word. Thank you!

I have spent some time developing and refining the Invisible Mentor concept, and I thought it important that you understand some of the terminologies, and how the concept was born. One morning while walking in High Park, in the fall of 2007, “Tales of People Who Get It is your Board of Invisible Mentor” pops into my consciousness. I quickly pulled out my mini notebook and pen out of my back pocket and jotted down my epiphany. I had been thinking about how to describe my book for a few months. Board of Invisible Mentors made perfect sense to me because whenever I faced a challenge, I remembered parts of the interviews that I conducted for Tales of People Who Get It and I would know exactly what to do next.

I continued with my walk, enjoying the wonders of nature. I marveled at the four cygnets (baby swans) as they struggled to learn to fly before the winter arrived. Papa and mama swan patiently watched, every now and again instructing their offspring in lessons of persistence, “If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.”

I noticed the beaver enjoying the unseasonably warm weather as he took an early siesta in the nook of a tree. Ducks lined up in a row on a log as the birds rehearsed their cantata for the fly south. Being in touch with nature took me back to the basics of life and reminded me of the truly important things in life.

Later, I confided in a friend about my epiphany and she thought it was pure genius. She further added that the idea was ahead of its time so I should alter it to Tales of People Who Get It is your Board of Mentors. This didn’t work for me because “invisible” is what makes it so special. Discouraged I parked my idea for nearly eighteen months.

Why do we care so much about what others think, even if it sets us back? Why don’t we trust our instincts and just plough ahead? Could it be fear of going it alone?

When I started to seriously explore the concept, I discovered the article, “Invisible Mentor: Communication Theory and Lilian Katz” by Professor Karen L. Peterson from Washington State University, and later I was referred to the book The Mentor’s Spirit by Marsha Sinetar (Author of the bestselling book Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow). These two pieces of work helped me to clarify my thinking around the Invisible Mentor Concept. I am eternally grateful to Karen L. Peterson and Marsha Sinetar for their seminal works.

I think it’s important to build on the works of others, instead of re-inventing the wheel. That’s the mindset of innovative thinkers, inventors, and those who have helped to shape the world.

Over the past seven months, I have massaged and caressed Peterson’s and Sinetar’s ideas and blended them with mine, to form something new. I am always evolving, so my ideas are continually evolving and becoming better.  Here are the key terms.

Invisible Mentors

Unique leaders who we can learn things from by observing, as well as reading books written by and about them, listening to interviews, presentations and speeches given by or about them, and studying and reflecting on ideas, tools, and models they have developed/created.

Absorbent Learners

People who know how to intelligently consume information, and then apply the concepts they learn about, to their situations. To do this, among their peers, they tend to “listen, discuss, verify, explain, and use multiple strategies and styles” to develop a solid understanding of the subject, and creatively make connections. Absorbent learner is another name for mentee or protégé.

Mentoring Circles/Buddy Club

Usually has about four to six members, with one member who is more senior to the rest acting as the leader. In the context that I am using mentoring circles, the members would be peers.

Co-mentors/Buddies

Peers who support each other by pooling their mental capacities to achieve a greater good. Together they act as a mini think tank where they share ideas, solve problems and brainstorm. The relationship is also reciprocal in nature, where co-mentors assume the role of both student and teacher.

Please keep the conversation flowing, please provide comments and suggestions regarding things that I may be missing.

Photo Credit: Bing via Apture

Many times we face problems that we think are unique to us, but similar problems have already been solved in a related or unrelated industry. How do we cross sectors to see what’s going on in their backyard, so that we may learn from them? How can we cross pollinate our ideas for superior solutions?

I love Fast Company magazine, and I was completely mesmerized while reading their recent article “Does Architecture Have a Foot Fetish?” by Michael Cannell. Cannell made an analogy between shoes and buildings, “What are shoes, after all, but mini buildings for your feet?” Do you agree with that statement? After reading the article and seeing some of the shoe designs, I will never look at shoes the same way again.

Now that the economy is slow, some architects have been applying their knowledge in building design, to designing shoes. Take a quick look at “Does Architecture Have a Foot Fetish?” and tell me what you think. The first shoe design is quite classy in my opinion, but the others are too futuristic, Star Trekky for me (no offense Star Trek fans).

In another Fast Company article, “A Problem-Solver’s Guide to Copycatting” by Dan & Chip Heath (authors of the bestseller Made to Stick), they present a few case studies where executives used nature (biomimicry) to solve organizational problems that appeared unsolvable.

How can you cross pollinate our ideas for superior solutions? And how can you build a body of general information that you can merge with specific information when problem solving? Simply read up on topics that you wouldn’t usually read: biomimicry, botany, biology, zoology, astronomy, agriculture, philosophy, science and so on. And read a few magazine that you usually wouldn’t read as Futurist, Utne, Skeptical Enquirer. And make sure to take a look at what other industries have done and are doing.

Even though the grass is seldom greener on the other side, it’s worth it to take a look. Please keep this conversation going, provide comments.

Photo credit: Flickr

Further Reading

Does Architecture Have a Foot Fetish?

A Problem-Solver’s Guide to Copycatting