The Invisible Mentor

Archive for November, 2009

This is the second part of my interview with Dennie Theodore, click here to read Part One. I conduct these interviews so that you may learn from them. Please let me know what you think. How do you keep on going, how do you motivate yourself? Most accomplished people are self motivated because they love what they are doing, do you? How do you distinguish yourself from your colleagues and even competitors? What’s unique about the  service you provide? This is important even if you are working for an organization? What kind of life lessons have you learned so far? How do you integrate your personal and professional life? These are some of the questions that Dennie answered.

Avil Beckford: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

Dennie Theodore: I promise myself one day a week to read late in bed and sleep in …. Not necessarily in the same 24 hr period.

Avil Beckford: What’s the most important business (or other) discovery you’ve made in the past year?

Dennie Theodore: The best skill to have is the ability to adapt.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the biggest advances in your industry over the past five years?

Dennie Theodore: Women seen as necessary in leadership positions to move projects and business forward.

Avil Beckford: What are the three threats to your business, your success, and how are you handling them?

Dennie Theodore: The usual… Similar Circles is run out of my kitchen with no funding, no time and is too GTA-centric. I’m handling them by asking my community to pitch in and they’ve been giving with both hands.

Avil Beckford: What’s unique about the service that you provide?

Dennie Theodore: I’m not trying to offer a 10-step “how to” process, but rather open discussion on “why to”. By creating an emotional/mental comfort zone, folks feel better about mentoring and networking.

Avil Beckford: What do you observe most people in your field doing badly that you think you do well?

Dennie Theodore: It’s easier to point out what others are doing well – because my strength is seeing success in others and helping promote it.

Avil Beckford: Tell me about your big break and who gave you.

Dennie Theodore: I’ve had several careers and many folks to thank in each one. My biggest break was my kid being willing to try anything once with me – from moving around the country to eating cereal for supper if that’s all we had. As one of my top priorities, he could have made my explorations difficult instead of participating as he has.

Avil Beckford: What has been your biggest disappointment in your life – and what are you doing to prevent its re-occurrence?

Dennie Theodore: There isn’t enough time in the day… considering giving up sleep.

Avil Beckford: What’s an accomplishment that you are proudest of?

Dennie Theodore: I learned to speak up, to forgive and to listen more.

Avil Beckford: How do you integrate your personal and professional life?

Dennie Theodore: I try to be the same person in all circumstances. I don’t hide one from the other. I allow myself to have an emotional response every now and then J

Avil Beckford: What’s a major regret that you’ve had in life?

Dennie Theodore: I’ll never win an Oscar. But I suppose first I have to write a screenplay.

Avil Beckford: What are five life lessons that you have learned so far?

Dennie Theodore:

1. Speak up
2. Ask questions
3. Speak out
4. Forgive
5. Listen

When you have some down time, how do you spend it?

Dennie Theodore: Reading, baking, walking/hiking, doing laundry.

What process do you use to generate great ideas?

Dennie Theodore: I read, read, read. And then I talk about it with friends till I figure out what I’m thinking.  Then I write, write, write.

What’s your favourite quotation and why?

Dennie Theodore: It changes. Today it’s “May you live the life you’ve earned” by TO Jazz singer Julie Michels

Avil Beckford: How do you define success?

Dennie Theodore: Success is not measured by how many hours you put in or how many projects went in under your watch. It is measured by the legacy you leave and the value you provided along the way through both your influence and achievements.

Avil Beckford: In your opinion what’s the formula for success?

Dennie Theodore: Walk your talk.

Avil Beckford: If trusted friends could introduce you to five people that you’ve always wanted to meet, who would you choose? And what would you say to them?

Dennie Theodore: Only 5?? Queen Elizabeth I; Carol Burnett; Katharine Hepburn; Terry Gilliam and Ray Bradbury …  I would ask: “Can I make you dinner?”

Avil Beckford: What excites you about life?

Dennie Theodore: Humour, kindness, whipped cream.

Avil Beckford: How do you nurture your soul?

Dennie Theodore: Same but I put the whipped cream on pound cake.

Avil Beckford: If you had a personal genie and she gave you one wish, what would you wish for? Or, if I gave you a magic wand, what would you use it for?

Dennie Theodore: My selfish wish is funding for a webspace…  my unselfish wish is that all children around the world be given love, food and shelter in that order.

About Dennie Theodore

a professional writer, facilitator, strategic planner and business manager, contributing to artistic and business projects across Canada and internationally. She has a long and successful history in many communities and is known as a caring mentor, negotiator and leader.

A business and artistic chameleon, Dennie offers a range of leadership, communication, strategic planning and change management skills. Dennie has brought her many skills to bear for such places as Atlantis Systems International, TD Bank, AT&T, Nortel, and The Citadel Theatre. She served on the boards of Cahoots Theatre Projects and Mixed Company, produced the Peer-to-Peer Conference with CWC and IBM, and currently runs the Similar Circles blog and events.

Recently named to the TIAW Making a Difference roster for 2009 , Dennie is a recognized leader and speaker in many industries.

Related Post

Interview With Dennie Theodore Part One

Anyone wishing to succeed personally and professionally must possess the “right” knowledge. Acquiring the “right” knowledge means understanding why you are learning what you are learning. There are specific situations that foster learning: meaningful projects, available support and resources and time to reflect on the tasks at hand, and what has already been done. Also, learning is enhanced when learners know their learning styles: visual, auditory and kinesthetic.

What is your preferred way to consume information?

• Visual learners: Want to see how something is done. Benefit most from maps, diagrams, charts, pictures, and films. If you show them, they will understand. They will likely say, “I see what you mean.”
• Auditory learners: Prefer to hear explanations and like to talk their way through things. Benefit most from traditional learning techniques, where the leader presents the information. They will likely say, “I hear what you say.”
• Kinesthetic learners: Want to get lots of hands-on experience so they can feel how something is done. Learn fastest when they are involved in the activity, such as science labs, drama presentations, skits, and field trips. They will likely say, “I feel what you mean.”

How we learn

A research report by The William Glasser Institute about how we learn indicates that we learn:

• 10 percent of what we Read
• 20 percent of what we Hear
• 30 percent of what we See
• 50 percent of what we See and Hear
• 70 percent of what we Discuss with Others
• 80 percent of what we Experience Personally
• 95 percent of what we Teach to Others

How can you use this information to your advantage?

To acquire knowledge for a reason, and be able to apply that knowledge, requires developing a learning strategy which uses all the information presented above.

Step 1

• In what area do you need to build your knowledge base to become more valuable to your employer, industry and your customers?
• Why is it important for you to learn this information? Promotion? Prestige? New job? Start a business?
• Identify the unique leaders (invisible mentors) who you can learn things from in the area that you are trying to build up
• Start to acquire knowledge in the identified area

Step 2

• If you do not know already, take a test to identify your predominant learning style
• Consume the information you want to learn in your predominant learning style

Step 3

• Apply your new found knowledge by using the information at work
• Discuss what you have learned with your peers, and others you know who would be interested
• Create a presentation to teach the information to others

By following these three simple steps, you will acquire knowledge for a specific reason, subsequently learning things that really matter to you and that can make a tangible difference in your life.

How might you use this information? Let’s keep the information flowing, please comment.

Video Credit & Definition via Apture

There are many lessons around us, if we but take the time to BE instead of DO. Many of these lessons we can learn from successful people, many who are further along the path that we are traveling, or have already completed the journey.

Have you ever wondered what makes a highly accomplished individual tick? I have! I have also wondered what motivates them and how they stay motivated. Over the past five years, I have interviewed over a hundred successful people, and one of the many questions that I ask them is “What is your favorite quotation and why?”

These individuals love a good quote, and they have that special one which resonates with them down to their core. They often use that quote for inspiration, and have it in plain sight where they can readily see it. One individual indicated that he has been using the same quote for inspiration for over 20 years. Quotes are very important to these people and serve many functions in their lives.

Over the years I have learned from these very successful interviewees, and I would like to share some of what I have learned with you. I have culled 10 powerful quotes, and have also included the reasons why they resonate with the interviewees.

After you have read the quotes, you will better understand these people, and I am sure you will agree that the quotes will also add a touch of brilliance to your communications.

Stephanie MacKendrick’s Favorite Quote and Why

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Meade

The quote says that change can happen from every one of us, from small groups. It doesn’t have to be a big project, a big organization with a big mission or mandate. We can all contribute to changing.

Maria Nemeth’s Favorite Quote and Why

“Miracles rest not so much upon healing power coming suddenly near us from afar, but upon our perceptions being made finer, so that for the moment our eyes can see and our ears can hear what has been there around us always.” Willa Cather

It’s a wonderful quote about miracles. People think that miracles are things that happen to us suddenly from on high. I like this quote because it’s hopeful, it says that I do not have to do anything extraordinary. All I need to do is wake up and see what’s been here waiting for me all the time.

Jim Rohn‘s Favorite Quote and Why

“Nothing can resist a human will that will stake even its existence on the extent of its purpose.” Benjamin Disraeli

This quote challenges the human spirit to ultimate possibility – give it all you’ve got. Become all you were designed to become. It simply means do or die.

Suzanne Gibson’s Favorite Quote and Why

“What stirs the mind or touches the heart, will undoubtedly move the feet.” Donald Murphy

I feel an affinity to the quote because I am overwhelmed by all that’s going on in the world, and I often wonder what I can do as one person. This quote tells me that if we can inspire others and feed their hearts and stimulate their minds we can motivate action for positive change.

Gail Blanke’s Favorite Quote and Why

“There is no way it is, there is only the way you say it is. The universe hasn’t made up its mind about you. It only knows what you show it today. You are the Inventor; your life is the invention. You get to make it up, so make it up good.” Gail Blanke, Between Trapezes

This is my favorite quote because I’m passionate about persuading people that they get to decide how good their life will be!

Gabriel Draven’s Favorite Quote and Why

“To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.” Mark Twain

“There are two things you need for success: courage and ignorance.” Gabriel Draven (Inspired by Mark Twain)

This modified quote has kept on coming back to me over the past couple of years, and it’s pretty dead on.

Claire Hoy’s Favorite Quotes and Why

“Worrying about something is like paying interest on a debt that you don’t even know if you owe.” Mark Twain

“It ain’t over till it’s over.” Yogi Berra

I view both quotes as great life lessons. In Mark Twain’s case he is saying that if you are going around and worrying and fretting how badly something is going to turn out, almost all the time it never turns out as badly as you perceived. In Berra’s case, if you don’t throw up your hands when things go wrong, but think it ain’t over and that you still have a chance, anything is possible.

Amelia Kassel’s Favorite Quote and Why

“There is nothing to fear but fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

It is so easy to feel fear when you are starting a business or taking risks. In life, you face many situations where it’s easy to feel fearful. This quote reminds me that I can do things that I wouldn’t otherwise try.

These quotes are not only instructive, but inspiring as well. What lessons might you learn from the quotes and the interviewees? And, in what ways might you use them?

Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please comment!

Think back to a time when you were operating in the zone and were unstoppable, what elements contributed to your off-the-charts performance? Great work environment? Committed team members? Work you loved and were good at?

Now, think back to another situation where you were stressed, floundering, unhappy, feeling devalued and constantly feeling that you had nothing to contribute, what elements were present? Toxic work environment? Overly demanding boss? Work you were unqualified to perform or work that did not feed your soul? People who did not have your best interest at heart?

There are situations where you flourish, and others where you wither and a little piece of you die each day. But, to live a more fulfilled life and experience happiness and success, it is important to increase the number of situations where you flourish. To do so requires identifying these situations to create more of them.

Honestly answer the following questions to start building more flourishing situations into your life:

• What are your strengths and weaknesses?
• What do you do well that others compliment you on?
• What are the things that you enjoy doing?
• Which things do you get so immersed in that you do not notice time flying by?
• What types of people do you work best with?
• When are you happiest?
• What excites you about life?
• What motivates you?
• If you had unlimited financial resources, what would you be doing?

The answers to the questions are pretty good indicators of what you should be doing more of. Integrate more of these situations – that feed your soul and make you flourish – into your life. In no time you will discover a major shift, and you will start to achieve success in all areas of your life.

I wither in situations with micro-managers, so I avoid such situations. How about you? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, let me know if you recognize the situations in which you flourish.

I met Dennie Theodore  through the Canadian Women in Communications about seven years ago. Though she is somewhat of an introvert, Dennie is great at networking, and goes out of her way to make others feel welcome. Dennie is using the skills that make her a great artist to excel in her corporate role at TD Bank in Canada.

So that you can get the most out of the interview it is quite extensive. For this blog post,  I will extract the career related and mentoring questions for you and I will post the other part of the interview tomorrow. Soon I will conduct the interviews using video and will have transcripts for people to download if that’s there preferred way to consume information.

In this interview, you’ll hear Dennie’s advice for people just starting out in the industry, the toughest decision she had to make, three events that shaped her life, advice from mentors, the books she’d love to have with her if stranded on a deserted island and so much more. A detailed biography is below and you can later visit her blog Similar Circles.

Avil Beckford: Tell me a little bit about yourself

Dennie Theodore: Professional strategic planner, facilitator, writer and business manager, contributing to business and artistic projects across Canada and internationally. A long and successful history in many communities and known as a caring mentor, negotiator, leader and unappreciated parent.

Avil Beckford: What’s a typical day like for you?

Dennie Theodore: Meetings; phone calls; copious amounts of tea; kind words and one good belly laugh.

Avil Beckford: Describe a major business (or other) challenge you had and how you resolved it

Dennie Theodore: I negotiate and facilitate all day. It’s not the tactic or individual challenge but the overall approach which evolves with the needs of those involved.

Avil Beckford: What lessons did you learn in the process?

Dennie Theodore: That everyone needs to feel like they were heard before a decision is made.

Avil Beckford: If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?

Dennie Theodore: Pick my battles with more care. Everything isn’t important to solve or soothe.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the biggest advances in your industry over the past five years?

Dennie Theodore: Women seen as necessary in leadership positions to move projects and business forward.

Avil Beckford: Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success?

Dennie Theodore: I was on a not-for-profit board and I couldn’t make the president or artistic director understand  that my discomfort with a decision wasn’t personal, but that I felt it was going to lead them down a very difficult path. I learned that sometimes you have to let folks make mistakes and then welcome them back without saying “I told you so.” It has made me a better parent, a kind manager and left many bite marks in my tongue.

Avil Beckford: What’s one of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make and how did it impact your life?

Dennie Theodore: To change careers from my heart’s desire to something ‘practical’. I’ve spent the last 10 years learning how to reblend the two and help others do the same.

Avil Beckford: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

Dennie Theodore: I had a kid. I wrote a play. I learned to forgive myself my mistakes (although I still have angst over them).

Avil Beckford: How did mentors influence your life?

Dennie Theodore: By believing in me. That’s the thing you need most when the world is feeling dark.

Avil Beckford: What’s one core message you received from your mentors?

Dennie Theodore: To be yourself, ask questions and be an advocate for yourself and others.

Avil Beckford: As an Invisible Mentor, what is one piece of advice that you would give to readers?

Dennie Theodore: Know yourself. Spend some time understanding your style, your fears, your desires and your skills. We all undersell ourselves.

What are the steps you took to succeed in your field?

Dennie Theodore: Realized it wasn’t enough to dream but the practical bits needed planning. And that nothing succeeds if you don’t have passion – looked to put that back into my daily life.

Avil Beckford: What advice do you have for someone just starting out in your field?

Dennie Theodore: Have as many cups of coffee/tea as you have time for in a week with people who are willing to sit with you. Don’t make it transactional – simply meet them to enjoy them and see where it leads. By doing so you’re building a personal community that will care with you and for you as you start to put your plans in action or require support to see them through.

Avil Beckford: Which one book had a profound impact on your life? What was it about this book that impacted you so deeply? Did you have an emotional or intellectual attachment to this book? Why?

Dennie Theodore: Robert Holdstock – Mythago Wood Because our collective unconscious is our most wondrous way to connect.

Avil Beckford: If you were stranded on a deserted island, what are five books that you would like to have with you and why? Summarize the book in two sentences.

Dennie Theodore:

1. Artist’s Way because then I’d have time to do the 7 days with no written word exercise.
2. A thesaurus
3. Andrew Lang’s Red Fairy Book – it will never become old
4. Tolkien’s J.R.R. Tolkien Boxed Set (The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings) – do you really need the summary?
5. Women Who Run with the Wolves because I have yet to have a chance to finish it.

Avil Beckford: Have you read any books that inspired you to start a business, service or invent “something”? If yes, which book?

Dennie Theodore: Ray Bradbury’s short story “To the Chicago Abyss” where the power of story and community can save humanity. I wanted to make a difference after reading that.

Avil Beckford: What one music CD and movie would you like to have with you (on the deserted island) and why?

Dennie Theodore:

Ultra Lounge’s Ultra-Lounge Sampler – it’ll never get old and will always be cheesy

The Agents & Frank Pourcel – Get Smart / Casino Royale

If you cannot view the YouTube click here.

The Wizard of Oz (Two-Disc 70th Anniversary Edition) – because magic happens and I might get OFF the darn island

Wizard of Oz

If you cannot view the YouTube video click here.

What can you learn from Dennie? How might your answers to the questions be different from Dennie’s? Let’s keep the conversation flowing, please comment.

About Dennie Theodore

a professional writer, facilitator, strategic planner and business manager, contributing to artistic and business projects across Canada and internationally. She has a long and successful history in many communities and is known as a caring mentor, negotiator and leader.

A business and artistic chameleon, Dennie offers a range of leadership, communication, strategic planning and change management skills. Dennie has brought her many skills to bear for such places as Atlantis Systems International, TD Bank, AT&T, Nortel, and The Citadel Theatre. She served on the boards of Cahoots Theatre Projects and Mixed Company, produced the Peer-to-Peer Conference with CWC and IBM, and currently runs the Similar Circles blog and events.

Recently named to the TIAW Making a Difference roster for 2009 , Dennie is a recognized leader and speaker in many industries.

Book links are affiliate links.

YouTube Credit: The Agents & Frank Pourcel – Get Smart / Casino Royale, Uploaded by LittleMissLounge on Apr 14, 2010; Wizard of Oz Uploaded by dreamformore on May 5, 2007

Book List

Mythago Wood

Artist’s Way

Red Fairy Book

The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings

Women Who Run with the Wolves