The Invisible Mentor

Archive for August, 2009

A few days ago I promised that I would create a slide show with photographs of nature to see if nature can really mentor us. Here is the slide show, please let me know what you think.

Here are my thoughts on the photos with accompanying music. Life may be cloudy but there is beauty in everything, even our sorrows. All we have to do is take time for reflection. We all need nurturing to sustain us and we need to nurture others so that we can all spread our wings and soar. Life is fluid and squirrely, but it is important to enjoy the fruits of  life and its many wonders. If we stretch ourselves we will grow because lessons are always around us. Mother nature can guide us, if we let her, is that not what a mentor is?

What are your thoughts, could nature mentor you?

Music Credit: Say Hey (I Love You), Michael Franti

I am interested in books that influence successful people so I am always on the lookout for great books. I also conduct many interviews and one of the questions that I ask is, “Which book had a profound impact on your life?” And most often, it isn’t business books that have had an impact on successful people. The books listed were culled from interviews that I conducted as well as from a New York Times article “C.E.O. Libraries Reveal Keys to Success.”  I have read some of the books on the list and will get to the rest.

The Girls’ Guide to Building a Million-Dollar Business, Susan Wilson Solovic

Influence: Science and Practice, Robert Cialdini

How I Raised Myself from Failure to Success in Selling, Frank Bettger

Power vs. Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior, David R. Hawkins

The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz

New Psycho-Cybernetics, Maxwell Maltz

All God’s Children Need Traveling Shoes, Maya Angelou

Seven Pillars of Wisdom: A Triumph, Thomas Edward Lawrence

The New Penguin History of the World, J. M. Roberts

The Grapes of Wrath (Penguin Classics), John Steinbeck

Dante’s Divine Comedy: Hell, Purgatory, Paradise, Dante Alighieri

Rey Carr from Peer Resources told me about Marsha Sinetar’s book The Mentor’s Spirit: Life Lessons on Leadership and the Art of Encouragement because he believed that it had some similarities to The Invisible Mentor Concept on this blog. I borrowed the book from the Toronto Public Library today and read the introduction. I am very delighted that Rey referred the book to me because now I know another person who thinks like I do. Here is Sinetar’s definition of mentoring and mentor spirit:

“A mentor is a person, guide or teacher – the keeper of selective wisdoms that we hope to gain. On the other hand, the mentor’s spirit is the “almost anything” that deepens our sense of the sacred or our understanding or transmits a kind of gladness  about life itself.”

Just reading the introduction, and part of the first chapter of The Mentor’s Spirit, I have expanded my thinking around the Invisible Mentor, and that that’s why I ask the question, “Could Nature Be You Mentor?” Sinetar’s definition of mentor spirit reminded me of the popular story about Isaac Newton thinking about the Law of Gravity after an apple fell from a tree, and the airplane and hang gliders were invented by studying birds in flight.

What are your thoughts? Could nature be your mentor? On MondayI will create a slide slow with nature scenes and let’s see if we are mentored by what we see!

Related Posts

Review of On Natural Selection
Connecting the Dots When There are no Dots

Photo credits: Avil Beckford

Recently I have been pre-occupied with thinking about the knowledge that I have acquired so far in my Raja Yoga class. The first three classes, which I have taken, focused on self-mastery. I always strive to better myself so that I will grow into the person that I was meant to be. In the class, we are given tools to use to better ourselves, to help us to master our weaknesses.

A big weakness for me has always been letting go. I stay on a project longer than I should, trying to make it work, even though I know deep down that it is a lost cause. I start reading a book and really hate it but feel obliged to finish it so I continue to torture myself. Have you ever been in that situation? Someone does something that I do not like and I replay the situation over and over again in my mind. This is not a good habit because it holds you back. In the three weeks that I have been in the class I have made leaps and bounds because I was determined to let go.

Even though I was focusing on letting go, I saw improvements in other areas as well. The tools I have so far, are handouts which you read everyday. I have been reading these handouts every day for three weeks and each time I notice something new. And, because I am studying the tools, they are becoming a part of me, and I am changing rapidly and surprising myself. Things that used to upset me no longer do, and I am now focusing on what is important to me.

I would like to share three of the ideas from the handouts with you. Take time and really let the words sink in and let me know what you think.

Become a Leader Not a Follower

Do not speak the language of a follower: “If he changes, I will change…If she apologizes, I will apologize…If the situation changes, I will change.” Many people have come out of bad situations and have changed their lives. The leader is one who takes the initiative.

Do Not be Absorbed with the Problem

Concentrate on the solution: Like the old cameras, the manual ones that you had to focus. As you focus on one thing, the rest of the picture loses its edge. There is always a solution.

Withdraw

Withdraw means to be able to detach ourselves from any current situation, or personal conflict. The power to withdraw is a true controlling power… It needs accuracy, since accuracy will warn you at the correct time to withdraw. With the exercise of this power, we are able to save ourselves from many regrets.

What do you think about the three ideas above? Could they help you to become the person you were meant to be? How might they help you in your work and life?

Related Post

Letting Go: If you can keep your head…

I am reading The Nature of Economiesby Jane Jacobs as background research for a paper that I am writing for Infed.org. Jacobs was an urban philosopher and visionary.

I have pulled five ideas from the book, and attempt to show how readers might apply the information to their work and life. I am sure that you could come up with better applications for these ideas.

The “Knowledge Age” is going to become the Lost-Age unless preserving specimens of work is taken as seriously as preserving apples and beans




Thousands of years ago, people were combining materials and devices that were radically different to form something new




People are naturally creative




People do not need to be geniuses or even extraordinarily talented to develop their work, they only need to be resourceful and show initiative




Know thyself…We learn about ourselves by learning about others and how we relate to them

Idea 1

How do you preserve your family’s history and stories? Have you been recording them for your children? Within the organization, what are you doing to record the knowledge that is in the older worker’s head?

Idea 2

How might you combine two good products that are very different, to create an extraordinary one? How might you combine a very different process in another industry with one in yours to create an entirely new way of doing things?

Idea 3

 In what ways can you exercise your natural creativity to positively impact your financial situation? How might you use your creativity to develop a new process, model or product to contribute to your organization’s bottom line

Idea 4

 In what ways could you develop the work you do by simply giving it some serious thought. What resources available to you could you use? If you systematically thought through your work process, how might you improve it? What inefficiencies could you remove or how could you expand your work?

Idea 5

When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with someone who was very different from yourself? If you have, what insights did you glean, and what did you learn about yourself?

These are five ways that you can connect new information to what you already know. What other ways could you connect these ideas?

Two weeks ago I interviewed Roy Thomas, the shoe repair person I have been using for over 10 years. Roy is extremely successful at what he does, and has been in business for over 30 years. I firmly believe that we can learn from each other. Here are 20 lessons I distilled from the interview.

1. Always do what needs to be done
2. Be likable
3. Be understanding toward others
4. Take care of the customers: treat them with respect and provide quality work
5. Don’t take people or things at face value. Always delve deeper because there is always more going on
6. It’s about people and relationships
7. Be patient
8. Persevere
9. Think carefully about what you are doing
10. Know your business inside and out
11. Always listen
12. Each day take one step at a time
13. Know what you want out of life and go for it
14. Success is never about money
15. Always put your best foot forward and even if you stumble you will always be okay
16. Walk in a clear path that makes you feel free
17. Be forgiving
18. Do not dwell on the past. You may not be able to visualize the future but it is there and tomorrow will provide for itself
19. Be attuned to what is going on around you
20. Make both your personal and professional life work in harmony

Most Influential Book: Our God is Awesome, Tony Evans

This book talks about how people should live in this world.

Major Regret: “In 1965, I bought 18 lots of land in Montreal, Canada. I was burdened and overwhelmed by all the taxes that I had to pay so I decided to sell. If I was patient, and waited I would have earned more on my investment.”

When I asked Roy what excites him about life, he responded with this quote “Life is a mirror: if you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting.” William Makepeace Thackery

During the past 10 years, many online learning tools and resources have cropped up to assist the self-learner at an affordable price: University Open Courseware, Wikipedia, You Tube Edu, iTunes U, eduFire, and Learn.com are a few of the educational resources that you can use to build your body of knowledge.

Wikipedia: Is a free encyclopedia created by users and is the world’s largest encyclopedia. Wikipedia is one of the first places to start research when trying to build a body of knowledge in any area.

You Tube Edu: You Tube worked with universities and colleges to create video and audio lectures by the best professors in the United States and made them available for free.

iTunes U: A mobile way of learning, iTunes U provides over 200,000 lectures, presentations, videos, readings, and podcasts from all over the world, for download. Some of the content has been created by the best professors in the United States. Many universities have a separate website for iTunes courseware download.

eduFire SuperPass: Is a response to the rapid rise in the cost of education. A paid subscription-based virtual classroom, eduFire offers live audio and video learning.

Learn.com: Offers courses to develop individual skills. It is also an on demand workplace development and productivity resource.

And, if you are someone who like a good speech, here are a few websites to delight you:

http://www.famousquotes.me.uk/speeches/presidential-speeches/index.htm

http://www.historyplace.com/speeches/previous.htm

http://www.americanrhetoric.com/top100speechesall.html

http://www.history.com/video.do?name=speeches

Using just a percentage of the online resources mentioned above will set you apart from your peers. Your self-learning journey will not be easy, but with focus, determination and passion to do what it takes to succeed, you will get that edge that is needed for a recession proof career.

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Photo Credits: Avil Beckford Orchid in Jamaica

Interview With Asha McLeod, Jazma Hair Salon

This interview first appeared in Ambeck Edge May 2005, but I still think that it is relevant today. There is always the question about whether or not you should train yourself or wait for you employer to train you. In  an economy that is tightening, one of the first budgets to be slashed is the training one, is this a sound decision? Please share your thoughts about this interview.

Challenge: Looking back over the years at the various problems and obstacles that come with owning a fast paced, successful hair salon, I have to say the most challenging of them all was dealing with my staff. What I found most challenging was that I was constantly doing all I could do to train them to be the best stylists they could be. This involved countless hours of professional training, personal and emotional support. The end result would always be that I would have trained and developed successful, confident stylists. So successful and confident that they would always believe they were capable of more than working for me, and would leave our salon, usually taking our clientele that they had built up as a result of working with us. It was very hard to deal with this, and it would happen over and over. It left me feeling hurt, and as a result I found I was bitter towards new staff as I viewed them inevitably doing the same thing as so many others had done in the past.

Resolution: Eventually I realized that I was creating the problem and I was making it worse by telling myself things that would add to the bitterness and resentment through my negative thinking. I finally realized that staff will leave no matter what I do. I changed my perspective and motivating factors for why I teach them. Instead of teaching them to be successful because it would be better for my business, I now train them believing I am helping them to become better people. I also train them not expecting gratitude in return, and knowing they will move on eventually.

Lessons Learned:

• Staff will always leave but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t train them to do their jobs better
• I now do things without expecting something in return
• Resentment and negative thinking harms you and prevents you from being the best you can be

Formula For Success

Keep in mind that success is never a final destination, but a journey, and as long as you are committed to lifelong learning, and passionate about your work, success is inevitable. I measure my success not against others, but by my own progress in overcoming day-to-day challenges, continuously learning and growing from those experiences. I believe my passion, persistence and need to please my clients have largely been the foundation for the success I have enjoyed in my profession.

Do you believe that employers should invest in training employees? Why? Why not? How would you have handled the above challenge? Is this challenge a universal challenge? How can the resolutions be applied elsewhere?

Excerpt May 2005 Ambeck Edge

As was the case with all the posts so far in the series 10 People Who Would Have Been Great Bloggers, based on research, I attempted to get into the head of these great thinkers and project what I thought they would say. But this time, for Plato, I decided to stick to the research. I like Plato because he loved to ask good questions, and I am quite fascinated by his notion of Atlantis.  Though, I did not try to write in his voice, Plato would have been an excellent educational blogger, and he would ask us the tough questions forcing us to think. Here is a short 7-minute video about Plato and his life.

Plato – Encyclopedia channel

Mentor: Socrates

Protege: Aristotle

Written Works: The Apology (of Socrates), Crito, Laches, Lysis, Charmides, Euthyphro, Hippias Minor and Major, Meno, Euthydemus, Menexenus, Cratylus, Repuglic, Phaedrus, Syposium, Phaedo, Republic, Parmenides, Theatetus, Sophist,Statesmas,Timaeus,Critias,Philebus, and Laws

Platonics

1. Plato’s birth name was Aristocles and was given the nickname Platon because of his broad shoulders
2. Founder of the the philosophical school, Academy in Athens in 387 B.C - named after a legendary Greek called Academus - the first institution of higher learning in the Western world
3. The way in which Plato operated the Academy, his ideas on what constitutes an educated “man” greatly influenced educational theory
4. Plato served as tutor to the new king Dionysius II
5. Studied the doctrines of Cratylus, and the work of Pythagoras and Parmenides before he met Socrates
6. Writings mostly take the form of question and answer dialogues
7. Mastered the art of asking good questions
8. Well traveled, had a career in the military and politic,s and studied music and poetry when he was young
9. During his 12-year travel after Socrates’ death, Plato studied with the Pythagoreans in Italy, and then studied the philosophy of his contemporaries, geometry, geology, astronomy and religion

Plato was a diligent learner, and loved to dialogue, though he was shy. What can you learn from him? Would he make an ideal Invisible Mentor?

Further Reading

Plato Biography

Plato

Video Credit: Encyclopedia channel

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A few years ago while I was conducting interviews for my book Tales of People Who Get It, I asked a CEO what his favourite quotation was and why? His response:

“I like ‘If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you’ from the poem “If” by Rudyard Kipling because it teaches you not to panic and to stay in control when bad things happen. Don’t be impulsive and think that you have to do something. Sit in a room for a while and be quiet and let the world go by while you think about things.”

Reading the poem below is more poignant now than it was a few years ago. I have been taking Raja yoga classes, and the first three lessons are on The Art of Self Mastery, and the final five on The Ancient Study of Raja Yoga Meditation. I have taken two of the three classes on self mastery and I can feel a big difference. I am feeling calmer and more peaceful. The classes are to help me get peace of mind and much more. The big thing for me for taking the classes was to learn how to let go.

After the first class we were given a handout, Our Mighty Powers: The Most Effective Powers in our Lives for us to study the nine powers: Tolerance, Truth/Honesty, Co-operation, Humility, Accommodation, Discrimination, Love, Judgement and Withdraw. And the words and their meanings in Raja Meditation are different from their traditional English meanings. Each day I read the handout, which includes the meanings of the nine powers, and I see something that I did not see before. I feel a sense of calm wrap itself around me like a well used blanket. I am slowly letting go (Withdraw) of the things that hold me back, and the interesting thing is that I now truly understand what the other powers mean because I can feel them in my soul.

Now I truly understand what the CEO meant when he quoted an excerpt from “If.” Read the poem and just BE.

If by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

What do you feel right now? What does this poem mean to you? How easy is it for you to sit still for a while? What techniques do you use when you want to experience a sense of peace?

Source for the poem If

Photo credit: Avil Beckford (Lake Louise, Alberta, Canada)