The Invisible Mentor

Archive for April, 2009

The Swiss Family Robinson by Johann David Wyss is really about innovation and making lemonade when life dishes out lemons. First published in 1812, the story is about a Swiss pastor and his family (wife and four sons) who survive a shipwreck and create a new way of life on an unexplored island in the East Indies.

While reading, be mindful of the time the book was written, and focus on the lessons that can be gleaned instead. This family was very inventive and demonstrated that there is truth to the adage that we are hindered only by our imagination. They repurposed a lot of materials to survive. For example, they built a raft from empty barrels, made rubber shoes from the sap of a tree, constructed a tent from the sails of the ship, a tree house from sails and wood from the ship, a bridge from planks and beams loosened from the shipwreck, and utensils from calabash.

The pastor allowed his children to think independently and experiment to find their own solutions. “…As we went along I often tasted my [sugar] cane; Fritz tried to do the same, but found he could not extract any juice. ‘How is this, father?’ he said. ‘Think a little,’ I replied, ‘and I am sure you will find the reason; you do not yet employ the right means.’ He soon discovered that he must make a small hole above the knot of the cane to let in the air…”

He was also open to suggestions from his family and had a willingness to attempt something new. But, as the adventures unfolded, I constantly wondered if these people experienced any colossal failures. They faced many challenges – “The manufacture of a spinning-wheel and reel was by no means an easy task, but by dint of study and perseverance…,” and “…But so many difficulties presented themselves, that had it not been for the strong desire I felt to have in my possession such a beautiful vessel, it is more than probable I should not have attempted the undertaking…” – and overcame them, but does anyone ever go through life without experiencing major failures?

The family, especially the father, tried to anticipate obstacles and eventualities to mitigate risks, which is a good practice to follow, but I was extremely weary of their ability to control the outcome of so many things. For the story to work for me, it was important for me to know the father’s background. He was obviously very knowledgeable and well read. He knew about many things: architecture, plants and animals, but where did all this knowledge come from and where did he find the time to acquire that wealth on knowledge? how can one person know so much about so many different things, especially back then?

Too many questions and not enough answers so I decided to let it go and focus on some great ideas in the Swiss Family Robinson.

11 Great Ideas

1. Praise people especially children on a job well done
2. Make time to eat at least one meal each day with family to check in with each other
3. Small successes lead to bigger successes
4. To get to where you want to go you have to put in the time
5. Vary the way you do things – travel a different route to work once in a while, eat foods from different cultures, develop different processes for the way you do something
6. Take time to admire nature’s bounty
7. Through trial and error we will finally get it right
8. An obstacle or challenge is an opportunity in disguise
9. Give thanks, even for the smallest thing
10. Understanding the end goal makes even the toughest journey worthwhile
11. Practice forgiveness

I didn’t like many aspects of the book including the children’s eagerness to kill animals, but I learned a lot of lessons, appreciated the reminder about being grateful for everything. I believed The Swiss Family Robinson was worth my time reading. Necessity is indeed the mother of invention!

Analyzing over 60 detailed interview responses to “Describe a business challenge that you have had and how you resolved it,” I identified four types of problem solvers: Inspirers, Reflectors, Innovators and Influencers.

 Inspirers: They nurture people and relationships and have the ability to inspire confidence. Whenever they face a challenge or problem, people rally around them offering their assistance.

 Reflectors: These problem solvers do not rush when making decisions, instead they take their time, mull things over for a while, step back from the situation to get a new perspective and then act.

 Innovators: These individuals have the unique ability to come up with creative solutions to any challenge or problem that they might encounter. It could be an entirely new solution or the blending of two known solutions into something fresh and exciting.

  Influencers: These problem solvers are expert at getting others to support their cause, and they excel at finding solutions to “people” problems that involve change. Influencers are great at getting people to “buy in.”

 Think back to a few challenges that you have experienced and how you resolved them, would you say that you are an Inspirer, Reflector, Innovator or Influencer? Or, are you a combination? What are your thoughts about the four types of problem solvers?

 Photo credit: Avil Beckford

 Related Resources

 What Type of Problem Solver Are You?

The Importance of Problem-Solving by Ken Watanabe (The Huffington Post Online, April 23, 2009)

Invisible Mentors are asked which one book had a profound impact on their life, and if you were stranded on a deserted which five books would you like to have with you. The one influential book is often among desert island books, but in this instance, Invisible Mentor David Gray’s influential book was different from his desert island books.

David Gray’s Influential & Desert Island Books

1. Hero of a Thousand Faces [Influential Book] – Joseph Campbell (He taught me to ‘follow my bliss)
2. Don Quixote – Miguel De Cervantes (The first modern novel, this book revolutionized the imaginative approach to the then core myth of Chivalry, itself a central concept in most European’s self-construct. This book reminds us never to take at face value the assumptions of the society in which we happen to live because of vagaries of our birth in a particular geographical space, social context and time)
3. The Shield of Achilles: War, Peace and the Course of History – Philip Bobbitt (An erudite and sweeping review of European history until the 19th century and then an analysis of world history in the 20th and early 21st centuries viewed from the dual perspectives of Law and War. This book provides a context within which to grasp the complex geopolitics of the world we currently live in)
4. The Poetry of Robert Frost – edited by Edward Connery Lathem (This book reminds one that the only life worth living is one including a degree of reflection)
5. The Measure of a Man: a Spiritual Autobiography – Sidney Poitier (This book teaches a man how to live as a man. In a day and age when men are increasingly out of touch with their essential masculinity, Poitier’s story of his personal challenges, triumphs and philosophy of life reads like a melodic breath of very fresh air)
6. Lincoln’s Melancholy: How Depression Challenged a President and Fuelled His Greatness – Joshua Wolf Shenk (A biography that reads like a detective novel. The real Lincoln is far more fascinating and inspiring than the manufactured American myth of the man. Like Poitier’s book, this one provides insights into what is possible to achieve and, far more importantly, what it means to live life as a man who is true to his own vision, come hell or high water. Interestingly, in Lincoln’s case it was the hellfire of a bullet, whereas for Poitier it was a near-death experience with high water)

April 2009 Book List

The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett

Hero of a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell

Don Quixote, Miguel De Cervantes

The Shield of Achilles: War, Peace and the Course of History, Philip Bobbitt

The Poetry of Robert Frost, edited by Edward Connery Lathem

The Measure of a Man: a Spiritual Autobiography , Sidney Poitier

Lincoln’s Melancholy: How Depression Challenged a President and Fuelled His Greatness , Joshua Wolf Shenk

While reading any of the books on the list, identify concepts that you can apply to work and life. Can you also identify any compelling reasons why anyone would want to take these books on a desrted island? What are five books that you would like to have with you on a deserted island?

Photo Credits: Avil Beckford

Related Posts

Learn from the Experiences of Others: Interview With David Gray

The Secret Garden By Frances Hodgson Burnett Book Review

Book links are affiliate links

I am sure that I could learn from you if only I knew you. If we started talking, in less than a minute I’m sure that we would find common ground. So what’s your story?
 
I have learned from and about people by reading what they have written. I have used the words of others as Invisible Mentors. Countless times I have stood on the shoulders of others, and I am sure that others have stood on my shoulders. We all have a responsibility to help each other because no one ever succeeds alone.

I subscribe to Chris Brogan’s Blog, and each week I learn something new from him. Chris is one of the people who has reminded me of the importance of giving – my mom first taught me that lesson. When I started this blog, I relied heavily on the information from Chris’ blog posts. And, I also relied on help from my followers on Twitter who willingly came to the rescue when I was stuck (Luke Rumley, Michael Bailey, WordPress Answers, Sunny Lam, Sherice Jacob).

Here’s a link to a blog post from Chris that I found useful, and I constantly go down the list as I strive to improve The Invisible Mentor Blog. Perhaps you will find it useful as well. Presently, I am participating in Darren Rowse’s 31-Day Challenge (31DBBB) to help me become a better blogger. After reading information at this link, for Day 8 of the Challenge, I went back to old posts and created Interlinks.

I connect with people, and in so doing, not only do I get to know them, but I also learn from them, and I hope that they learn from me as well. I would like to share a poem I wrote about my father as a way of sharing one of my stories with you. What kind of relationship do you, or did you have with your father?

A Daughter’s Farewell

I can’t remember you ever hugging me.
I can’t remember you telling me you loved me.
I can’t remember you kissing me.
But I clearly remember you criticizing me,
Leaving me, even when I was scared.
You weren’t there, even when you were there.
You were emotionally distant.
Sometimes I wonder if you were a figment of my imagination.
You must have been real, because you were my father.
The battle within me rages because I was invisible to you.
I no longer want to be invisible.
I want to be a real person to you.
Just once I would like you to tell me how you feel about me.
Just once, I would like to hear you say “I love you”.
Just once, I would like to feel your arms around me.
But you can’t really do that, can you?
You died before I got to know you.
You died without asking for my forgiveness.
You died before I forgave you.
I try to make sense of it all,
All the wasted moments, all the wasted years,
Both of us waiting for the other to extend a hand, a forgiving hand.
Our stubbornness got in the way, and now you’re gone.
If I got one more chance to see you again, what would I do?
Would I hug you?
If I got one more chance to see you again, what would I say?
Would I tell you I love you?
If I got one more chance to see you again, could I forget past hurts?
Could I forgive you?
Since I do not have the chance to see you again, I say,
“Farewell my father, rest in peace knowing that I love you.
Farewell my father, your daughter has finally found peace.”

Can you relate to A Daughter’s Farewell? Again I ask, what’s your story?

Research studies have shown that both mentors and mentees benefit from the mentoring relationship, but what are the characteristics of great mentors? From my personal experience, here are seven important traits of great mentors.

1. Allow mentees to be the best they can be instead of mirror images of themselves
2. Act as champions yet ask the difficult questions
3. Assist mentees to awaken/unleash their inner genius
4. Possess a sphere of influence and open doors for mentees
5. Understand the concept of give-and-take
6. Make time for mentees and share both personal and professional experiences
7. Respect their mentees

In the upcoming months, as we introduce an array of Invisible Mentors, many of whom are unlikely suspects, interact with the spoken and written words. What are the embedded nuggets of wisdom? Why do these Invisible Mentors™ say what they say? How can you apply the information? What are five takeaways? What are five great ideas? The Invisible Mentor™ will change the way you think about the concept of mentoring.

Photo Credit: Avil Beckford

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