The Invisible Mentor

Archive for April, 2009

Holland Bamboo, Jamaica

An important aspect of professional success involves participating in mentoring programs. And now more than ever, during these challenging economic times, employees need mentors to guide and advise them as they navigate flattened corporate structures. Research conducted for Sun Microsystems by research company Gartner and Capital Analytics, a software company, looked at 1,000 Sun employees over a five-year period to examine the financial impact of mentoring and found that :

• 25 percent of employees in a test group who took part in the company’s mentoring program had a salary-grade change, compared with 5 percent of employees in a control group who did not participate in the program
• 28 percent of mentors in the test group had a salary grade change as opposed to just 5 percent in the control group
• Mentors were promoted six times more often than those not in the program
• Mentees were promoted five times more often than those not in the program
• Retention rates were much higher for mentees (72 percent) and mentors (69 percent) than for employees who did not participate in the mentoring program (49 percent)

According to Wikipedia, “Mentors provide their expertise to less experienced individuals to help them advance their careers, enhance their education.” In the context of the Invisible Mentor, the following quotes sum up Invisible Mentoring:

“A wise man learns by the experience of others. An ordinary man learns by his own experience. A fool learns by nobody’s experience.” Vern McLellan

“If you would know the road ahead, ask someone who has traveled it.” Chinese Proverb

“It is good to learn what to avoid by studying the misfortunes of others.” Publius Syrius

“A prudent person profits from personal experience, a wise one from the experience of others.” Joseph Collins

“There are three schoolmasters for everybody that will employ them – the senses, intelligent companions, and books.” Rev. Henry Ward Beecher

I believe a great mentoring relationship assists the mentee to be the best he/she can be. What does mentoring mean to you? And how can Invisible Mentors work for you?

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Standing on the Shoulders of Giants (Part I)

Standing on the Shoulders of Giants (Part II)

Photo credit: Avil Beckford

Instant Turnaround! Getting People Excited About Coming to Work and Working Hard by Harry Paul and Ross Reck is an easy read at 158 pages of large print. I liked the message and concepts, which are easy to understand, but I did not like the delivery. The story is in the form of a fable and it may be that I am tired of fables, but for me the setting and the situation outlined appeared contrived, too convenient and a bit phony and I couldn’t visualize myself in that setting.

 The meeting reminded me of a mastermind group where members talk about projects that they have been working on. The junior member of the group, Freddie Kim brings his mom Nancy who is visiting him. And it so happens that Nancy had faced the same issue that one of the other members faced and she was able to successfully resolve it and the coincidences continue.

 Now that I have gotten my bias out of the way I can focus on the core ideas outlined. The book is based on a clever concept called Destination Work and the beauty of the concept is that it’s nothing new, we all know it, yet many managers ignore it.

•  Focus on people as well as performance numbers
• Motivate employees with trust instead of fear. The four Be’s for motivating employees with trust
  • Be real: be sincere and try to have the same persona, both at home and work
  • Be appreciative: say thank you to employees and let them know that you notice their contributions
  • Be interested: interact with employees and learn more about them
  • Be nice

• Turn work into fun

 Instant Turnaround fleshes out the Destination Work concept and has a section at the back of the book which demonstrates how to apply the concept. Though I did not like the way the message was delivered, I appreciated the message because it makes sense. Like anything in life one-size seldom fits all and I know from experience in my consulting practice, and from the experiences from colleagues that this model will not work in all instances simply because some senior managers firmly believe in managing using a culture of fear. There are times in life when we simply have to walk away, and the trick is to know when.

 At work, what are some simple ways that you can demonstrate that you appreciate the things people do? Could you make the time to have lunch with someone you work with who you do not know very well? What are ways you can assist colleagues or subordinates to make their work-life easier?

Other Book Reviews

Necessity is the Mother of Invention: A Book Review of the Swiss Family Robinson

The Secret Garden By Frances Hodgson Burnett Book Review

Perfect Day for Reading in Barbados

While reading, interact with the words on the pages and bring them to life. Scan internal memory banks for related information. Nothing exists in a vacuum so find ways to connect the new information to the old and form something completely new. Connect two pieces of information that appear to have nothing in common. Play with the information and expand your thinking.

Blog about the book as you read to start a conversation.

Process what you are reading as you are reading. How can you apply one concept from the book to make life easier? Think about it and read in motion. What are your thoughts?  What are other ways that you can read in motion?

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Rodger Harding

Dabid Gray

 
Learning from the experiences of others shortens the time it takes to achieve professional success. Invisible Mentors Rodger Harding and David Gray share with us what a typical day is like and what it takes to succeed in their fields. What can we learn from them?

What’s a typical day like for you?

 Rodger Harding (RH): I start the day at 6:00 am with several cups of coffee, until its recent demise, enjoyed along with the wonderfully structured chaos of Tom Allen’s Music & Company (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation Radio 2);

I consciously take stock of being alive, my good fortune and what needs to be done that day; I tackle pressing or unpleasant tasks first, ready the office for any clients that might be due; prepare for out of office seminars; before day’s end, I ensure all paperwork/materials are ready for the next day;

I intersperse routine with personal e-mails, answering calls, a short walk or even an out of office pleasurable activity;

No two days are ever the same!

David Gray (DG): A typical week-day starts around 7:30 am with a breakfast of home-made muesli.  I very seldom miss breakfast.  While I eat, I respond to emails. Then it’s off to meet my clients.  When possible, I grab a quick lunch.  Then in the afternoon the consultation process continues with my clients.  In addition to my own practice www.davidgraycoach.com I work on large firms’ Career and Coaching delivery contracts, so there is seldom a dull moment.  By 7 pm I am usually home and enjoy spending a couple of hours with my wife, Anne, sharing a laugh while we cook and eat dinner and then settle in for a couple hours of reading or TV.  By 11 pm I am back at the computer responding to emails.  By 1 pm I am generally in bed. 

 Saturdays and Sundays are catch-up days.  I might see one or two clients on a Saturday, but for the most part I enjoy doing domestic chores (yes, I am that rare male who actually enjoys doing cooking, laundry etc., as I find it very relaxing.)  For exercise I swim at the Miles Nadal Jewish Community Centre at Spadina & Bloor where I am a member.  I try to fit some yoga in at the Yoga Sanctuary at College and Yonge, and I do a stretching and Pilates routine at home that Dr Darlene at Balance Fitness at Yonge & St Clair designed for me.

 What do you observe most people in your field doing badly that you think you do well?

 RH: I prefer to work on a subjective basis with clients, marrying their circumstance/requirements to objective market/industry/workplace realities; I have a strong aversion to labels, profiling and template driven training;

 To reach other people requires a degree of risk … I believe I take those risks recognizing, understanding and acknowledging the individuality of others is the greatest validation I can provide!

DG: I tend to think way outside the existing structures and definitions concerning how to help people break-through to new levels of consciousness in both their business and personal ways of dealing with challenges.

 What does it take to succeed in your field?

 RH: To bring the message above to as many people as possible

 Avil’s Note: Rodger’s reference to “message above” in his response  refers to his formula for success, which is immediately below:

•  Being who I am rather than who I am expected to be! This involves:
• Fully utilizing innate & learned ability
• Achieving a high degree of pleasure/happiness
• Accommodation (acceptance) in a like-minded environment
• Adequate means of survival
• The ongoing opportunity to evolve to my fullest potential….

 DG: To be successful in my field one typically needs empathy, compassion, a conscientious work ethic and a background in HR.  However, to be truly outstanding one additionally needs a great degree of life history in a variety of business settings as well as a high degree of intuitive and innovative intelligence in order to be able to work with people from numerous diverse backgrounds who are each struggling with very individual career and life challenges.  In a word, one needs wisdom.  And typically, that can only be accumulated over a long period of time after encountering a variety of challenging situations in one’s own career and life.

Are there any lessons we can learn from Rodger and David? How might we adapt some of their ideas? What are your thoughts?

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Interview With Your “Invisible Mentor” Rodger Harding

Learn from the Experiences of Others: Interview With David Gray

About Rodger Harding: For more than a decade Rodger Harding’s Toronto based Business Leadership Consultancy has provided high level consulting, training & keynote speaking services to diverse corporate, government and not-for- profit clients.  His skill-set has evolved over almost three decades in an international career that spans, Law, Diplomacy and Business Consulting.

About David Gray: David has advised executive clients based in Canada, the UK, Europe and Asia.  In addition to his own consulting practice, David serves as President of the Board, Toronto Chapter of the Association of Career Professionals International (ACP International), and is a member of the Strategic Leadership Forum (GTA).

“Korean CEOs read an average of two or three books per month, which was slightly lower than what their counterparts at western companies who read on average 1,000 pages per month,” says a research report by Samsung Economic Research Institute (SERI) documented in Korea Economic Trends, NO.333, August 7, 2004. Assuming that the average book is 200 – 250 pages in length, western CEOs read four to five books each month.

Another unrelated study by the Institute for Policy Studies and United for a Fair Economy indicates that, “in 2007, CEOs in the United States took home an average of $10.5 million, 344 times the take-home for typical American workers . Thirty years ago, chief executives averaged only 30 to 40 times the average American worker paycheck.”

Is there a connection between how much you read and earning potential? Can you afford not to read in a 24/7 world where the ability to apply knowledge is KING?

Earl Nightingale in his audio program Lead The Field, quotes Louis Shores, a librarian, poet, social activist, and maverick educator as saying:

“Each of us must find his own 15-minute period each day for reading. It’s better if it’s regular. The only requirement is the will to read. With it, you can find 15 minutes, no matter how busy the day. That means you will read half a book a week, two books a month, 20 a year and 1,000 in a lifetime.”

But in the age of rapid change, reading half a book a week is simply not enough. How about reading a book a week which is on par with western CEOs? Allocate 30 minutes each day for reading instead of the 15 minutes that Louis Shores recommends.

Finding time to read

There are 365 days in a year, which means that you have 8,760 hours every year. If you sleep eight hours each night, there are 5,840 hours when you are awake. Subtract 2,080 hours for a 40-hour workweek and you are left with 3,760 hours to use however you choose. Couldn’t you take 130 of those hours to invest in your professional development? That’s just half-an-hour a day, five days a week. Wake up 30 minutes earlier or go to bed 30 minutes later to carve out your reading time.

In Better Than Good, Zig Ziglar mentions a University of Southern California study, which revealed that

“If you live in a metropolitan area and drive 12,000 miles a year, in three years’ time you can acquire the equivalent of two years of college education in your automobile… As a result, you can get the type of education that will equip you more effectively for what you are doing.”

Based on the research results, Zig Ziglar came up with the concept of “Automobile University.” Today, the concept could be called “Mobile University” since so many people use public transportation for their long commutes. Commute times can be used for reading or listening to books.

Look at each day, how much time is spent waiting: doctor’s office, checkout lines, delayed flights and so on. Those precious minutes could be spent listening to or reading a book

When going on road trips with family and friends, instead of listening to only music and talk radio, also include a few audio programs that everyone can enjoy.

Any professional can find at least 30 minutes each day to dedicate to reading. Make sure that you always have a book with you for the unexpected delays.

Excerpts from the workbook Journey to Getting It

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Building Intellectual Power One Book at a Time
To Read or Not to Read, Now That’s the Question

Photo credit: Avil Beckford

The Swiss Family Robinson by Johann David Wyss is really about innovation and making lemonade when life dishes out lemons. First published in 1812, the story is about a Swiss pastor and his family (wife and four sons) who survive a shipwreck and create a new way of life on an unexplored island in the East Indies.

While reading, be mindful of the time the book was written, and focus on the lessons that can be gleaned instead. This family was very inventive and demonstrated that there is truth to the adage that we are hindered only by our imagination. They repurposed a lot of materials to survive. For example, they built a raft from empty barrels, made rubber shoes from the sap of a tree, constructed a tent from the sails of the ship, a tree house from sails and wood from the ship, a bridge from planks and beams loosened from the shipwreck, and utensils from calabash.

The pastor allowed his children to think independently and experiment to find their own solutions. “…As we went along I often tasted my [sugar] cane; Fritz tried to do the same, but found he could not extract any juice. ‘How is this, father?’ he said. ‘Think a little,’ I replied, ‘and I am sure you will find the reason; you do not yet employ the right means.’ He soon discovered that he must make a small hole above the knot of the cane to let in the air…”

He was also open to suggestions from his family and had a willingness to attempt something new. But, as the adventures unfolded, I constantly wondered if these people experienced any colossal failures. They faced many challenges – “The manufacture of a spinning-wheel and reel was by no means an easy task, but by dint of study and perseverance…,” and “…But so many difficulties presented themselves, that had it not been for the strong desire I felt to have in my possession such a beautiful vessel, it is more than probable I should not have attempted the undertaking…” – and overcame them, but does anyone ever go through life without experiencing major failures?

The family, especially the father, tried to anticipate obstacles and eventualities to mitigate risks, which is a good practice to follow, but I was extremely weary of their ability to control the outcome of so many things. For the story to work for me, it was important for me to know the father’s background. He was obviously very knowledgeable and well read. He knew about many things: architecture, plants and animals, but where did all this knowledge come from and where did he find the time to acquire that wealth on knowledge? how can one person know so much about so many different things, especially back then?

Too many questions and not enough answers so I decided to let it go and focus on some great ideas in the Swiss Family Robinson.

11 Great Ideas

1. Praise people especially children on a job well done
2. Make time to eat at least one meal each day with family to check in with each other
3. Small successes lead to bigger successes
4. To get to where you want to go you have to put in the time
5. Vary the way you do things – travel a different route to work once in a while, eat foods from different cultures, develop different processes for the way you do something
6. Take time to admire nature’s bounty
7. Through trial and error we will finally get it right
8. An obstacle or challenge is an opportunity in disguise
9. Give thanks, even for the smallest thing
10. Understanding the end goal makes even the toughest journey worthwhile
11. Practice forgiveness

I didn’t like many aspects of the book including the children’s eagerness to kill animals, but I learned a lot of lessons, appreciated the reminder about being grateful for everything. I believed The Swiss Family Robinson was worth my time reading. Necessity is indeed the mother of invention!

Analyzing over 60 detailed interview responses to “Describe a business challenge that you have had and how you resolved it,” I identified four types of problem solvers: Inspirers, Reflectors, Innovators and Influencers.

 Inspirers: They nurture people and relationships and have the ability to inspire confidence. Whenever they face a challenge or problem, people rally around them offering their assistance.

 Reflectors: These problem solvers do not rush when making decisions, instead they take their time, mull things over for a while, step back from the situation to get a new perspective and then act.

 Innovators: These individuals have the unique ability to come up with creative solutions to any challenge or problem that they might encounter. It could be an entirely new solution or the blending of two known solutions into something fresh and exciting.

  Influencers: These problem solvers are expert at getting others to support their cause, and they excel at finding solutions to “people” problems that involve change. Influencers are great at getting people to “buy in.”

 Think back to a few challenges that you have experienced and how you resolved them, would you say that you are an Inspirer, Reflector, Innovator or Influencer? Or, are you a combination? What are your thoughts about the four types of problem solvers?

 Photo credit: Avil Beckford

 Related Resources

 What Type of Problem Solver Are You?

The Importance of Problem-Solving by Ken Watanabe (The Huffington Post Online, April 23, 2009)

Invisible Mentors are asked which one book had a profound impact on their life, and if you were stranded on a deserted which five books would you like to have with you. The one influential book is often among desert island books, but in this instance, Invisible Mentor David Gray’s influential book was different from his desert island books.

David Gray’s Influential & Desert Island Books

1. Hero of a Thousand Faces [Influential Book]  – Joseph Campbell (He taught me to ‘follow my bliss)
2. Don Quixote – Miguel De Cervantes (The first modern novel, this book revolutionized the imaginative approach to the then core myth of Chivalry, itself a central concept in most European’s self-construct. This book reminds us never to take at face value the assumptions of the society in which we happen to live because of vagaries of our birth in a particular geographical space, social context and time)
3. The Shield of Achilles: War, Peace and the Course of History – Philip Bobbitt (An erudite and sweeping review of European history until the 19th century and then an analysis of world history in the 20th and early 21st centuries viewed from the dual perspectives of Law and War. This book provides a context within which to grasp the complex geopolitics of the world we currently live in)
4. The Poetry of Robert Frost – edited by Edward Connery Lathem (This book reminds one that the only life worth living is one including a degree of reflection)
5. The Measure of a Man: a Spiritual Autobiography – Sidney Poitier (This book teaches a man how to live as a man. In a day and age when men are increasingly out of touch with their essential masculinity, Poitier’s story of his personal challenges, triumphs and philosophy of life reads like a melodic breath of very fresh air)
6. Lincoln’s Melancholy: How Depression Challenged a President and Fuelled His Greatness – Joshua Wolf Shenk (A biography that reads like a detective novel. The real Lincoln is far more fascinating and inspiring than the manufactured American myth of the man. Like Poitier’s book, this one provides insights into what is possible to achieve and, far more importantly, what it means to live life as a man who is true to his own vision, come hell or high water. Interestingly, in Lincoln’s case it was the hellfire of a bullet, whereas for Poitier it was a near-death experience with high water)

April 2009 Book List

The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett

Hero of a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell

Don Quixote, Miguel De Cervantes

The Shield of Achilles: War, Peace and the Course of History, Philip Bobbitt

The Poetry of Robert Frost, edited by Edward Connery Lathem

The Measure of a Man: a Spiritual Autobiography , Sidney Poitier

Lincoln’s Melancholy: How Depression Challenged a President and Fuelled His Greatness , Joshua Wolf Shenk

While reading any of the books on the list, identify concepts that you can apply to work and life. Can you also identify any compelling reasons why anyone would want to take these books on a desrted island? What are five books that you would like to have with you on a deserted island?

Photo Credits: Avil Beckford

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Learn from the Experiences of Others: Interview With David Gray

The Secret Garden By Frances Hodgson Burnett Book Review

I am sure that I could learn from you if only I knew you. If we started talking, in less than a minute I’m sure that we would find common ground. So what’s your story?
 
I have learned from and about people by reading what they have written. I have used the words of others as Invisible Mentors. Countless times I have stood on the shoulders of others, and I am sure that others have stood on my shoulders. We all have a responsibility to help each other because no one ever succeeds alone.

I subscribe to Chris Brogan’s Blog, and each week I learn something new from him. Chris is one of the people who has reminded me of the importance of giving – my mom first taught me that lesson. When I started this blog, I relied heavily on the information from Chris’ blog posts. And, I also relied on help from my followers on Twitter who willingly came to the rescue when I was stuck (Luke Rumley, Michael Bailey, WordPress Answers, Sunny Lam, Sherice Jacob).

Here’s a link to a blog post from Chris that I found useful, and I constantly go down the list as I strive to improve The Invisible Mentor Blog. Perhaps you will find it useful as well. Presently, I am participating in Darren Rowse’s 31-Day Challenge (31DBBB) to help me become a better blogger. After reading information at this link, for Day 8 of the Challenge, I went back to old posts and created Interlinks.

I connect with people, and in so doing, not only do I get to know them, but I also learn from them, and I hope that they learn from me as well. I would like to share a poem I wrote about my father as a way of sharing one of my stories with you. What kind of relationship do you, or did you have with your father?

A Daughter’s Farewell

I can’t remember you ever hugging me.
I can’t remember you telling me you loved me.
I can’t remember you kissing me.
But I clearly remember you criticizing me,
Leaving me, even when I was scared.
You weren’t there, even when you were there.
You were emotionally distant.
Sometimes I wonder if you were a figment of my imagination.
You must have been real, because you were my father.
The battle within me rages because I was invisible to you.
I no longer want to be invisible.
I want to be a real person to you.
Just once I would like you to tell me how you feel about me.
Just once, I would like to hear you say “I love you”.
Just once, I would like to feel your arms around me.
But you can’t really do that, can you?
You died before I got to know you.
You died without asking for my forgiveness.
You died before I forgave you.
I try to make sense of it all,
All the wasted moments, all the wasted years,
Both of us waiting for the other to extend a hand, a forgiving hand.
Our stubbornness got in the way, and now you’re gone.
If I got one more chance to see you again, what would I do?
Would I hug you?
If I got one more chance to see you again, what would I say?
Would I tell you I love you?
If I got one more chance to see you again, could I forget past hurts?
Could I forgive you?
Since I do not have the chance to see you again, I say,
“Farewell my father, rest in peace knowing that I love you.
Farewell my father, your daughter has finally found peace.”

Can you relate to A Daughter’s Farewell? Again I ask, what’s your story?

Research studies have shown that both mentors and mentees benefit from the mentoring relationship, but what are the characteristics of great mentors? From my personal experience, here are seven important traits of great mentors.

1. Allow mentees to be the best they can be instead of mirror images of themselves
2. Act as champions yet ask the difficult questions
3. Assist mentees to awaken/unleash their inner genius
4. Possess a sphere of influence and open doors for mentees
5. Understand the concept of give-and-take
6. Make time for mentees and share both personal and professional experiences
7. Respect their mentees

In the upcoming months, as we introduce an array of Invisible Mentors, many of whom are unlikely suspects, interact with the spoken and written words. What are the embedded nuggets of wisdom? Why do these Invisible Mentors™ say what they say? How can you apply the information? What are five takeaways? What are five great ideas? The Invisible Mentor™ will change the way you think about the concept of mentoring.

Photo Credit: Avil Beckford

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